Dannielle Levan wrote:

They are part of my friend's talent agency's wardrobe (that i have unlimited access to)

oh jealousy

Faith EnFire wrote:

oh jealousy

ditto

Faith EnFire wrote:

Dannielle Levan wrote:
They are part of my friend's talent agency's wardrobe (that i have unlimited access to)

oh jealousy

Star Child wrote:

ditto

Ehehehehe

Kinda bummed out today though.  Seems like i'm always the one keeping in contact with my family...my parents didn't even call on Xmas...my birthday is coming up and i doubt they'll call then either.

Natasha240 wrote:
WIN= I made an appointment to give blood today

YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're awesome! You know, just in case I haven't told you that yet.

Natasha240 wrote:
WIN= I made an appointment to give blood today

Cool!  So, whose blood are you going to give them?

Dannielle Levan wrote:

Faith EnFire wrote:

Dannielle Levan wrote:
They are part of my friend's talent agency's wardrobe (that i have unlimited access to)

oh jealousy

Ehehehehe

Kinda bummed out today though.  Seems like i'm always the one keeping in contact with my family...my parents didn't even call on Xmas...my birthday is coming up and i doubt they'll call then either.

There are some families that are like that.  I hate to say it, but in my family I'm the one who never calls.  I can't remember the last time I gave my sister a birthday present, or did anything for my parents on Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Okay, New Year's resolution: I will rectify the above faults!

On the other hand, I don't remember the last time me sister gave ME a birthday present!

Hmmmm...

Natasha240 wrote:
Ughhh, out of NOWHERE I just had a crying fit about my Dad. Grief sucks. I miss him.

*hugs - really tight hugs*

Lawrence Guy wrote:

There are some families that are like that.  I hate to say it, but in my family I'm the one who never calls.  I can't remember the last time I gave my sister a birthday present, or did anything for my parents on Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Okay, New Year's resolution: I will rectify the above faults!

On the other hand, I don't remember the last time me sister gave ME a birthday present!

Hmmmm...

Well ever since i was younger i made sure we always did something for father's day, etc, my brothers have never returned the favor though.

Natasha240 wrote:
Ughhh, out of NOWHERE I just had a crying fit about my Dad. Grief sucks. I miss him.

/hugs!  Grief sucks

Dawn Hart wrote:
What a rough day.

The man who killed my cousin got sentenced to 2 yrs and 3 months in Jail (for taking away a young mans life).
I went to the wake of a friend who was stabbed and died on new years eve over drugs at my ex's house, and my other friend who also got stabbed isnt out of the hosp yet. Plus today is the day my friend steph died 3 years ago...

I can't believe I made it through, even though my boyfriend was a total jerk today..lets hope it gets better from here.

sorry to learn of such news and of your pain. It's okay to let it hurt. Go ahead and let it out so that it doesn't stay inside and eat away at you.
I wish I could tell you things that would say all those reasons for the pain will go away, but I know it's not so. I do know we live through it if we believe we can.
*huggs*

Dawn Hart wrote:
What a rough day.

The man who killed my cousin got sentenced to 2 yrs and 3 months in Jail (for taking away a young mans life).
I went to the wake of a friend who was stabbed and died on new years eve over drugs at my ex's house, and my other friend who also got stabbed isnt out of the hosp yet. Plus today is the day my friend steph died 3 years ago...

I can't believe I made it through, even though my boyfriend was a total jerk today..lets hope it gets better from here.

God, your situation goes beyond my ability to comprehend.  I've had friends die in absurd ways, but to have all that happen so suddenly is just unreal.  I can only imagine that it's like being smacked in the forehead with a hammer and wandering around in a daze.

Usually I tell people that I understand what they're going through - but there's no way I can understand the totality of this.  I can understand parts of it, like the blind men with the elephant, but I can't put it all together in synthesis.

I can say that my thoughts and prayers are with you; that, at least, does not depend on circumstance.  And I'm sorry that your New Year is such a piece of shit.  Look for the good that is around you, even amidst the strife.  And you have my sincerest condolences.

-Guy

Dawn Hart wrote:
What a rough day.

The man who killed my cousin got sentenced to 2 yrs and 3 months in Jail (for taking away a young mans life).
I went to the wake of a friend who was stabbed and died on new years eve over drugs at my ex's house, and my other friend who also got stabbed isnt out of the hosp yet. Plus today is the day my friend steph died 3 years ago...

I can't believe I made it through, even though my boyfriend was a total jerk today..lets hope it gets better from here.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry about all of this. Be proud of yourself for getting through it, that sure is a lot for one person. *Interweb Hugs*

Star Child wrote:
A couple of things.

Earlier in the week and also last week I was searching, playing and saving old songs on YouTube. A few of them took me back to certain days and I wanted to call up my friend and laugh with her about it, but she died this past summer so I couldn't.

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary when my sister came home from the hospital. She had been there through the holidays. Her health was so poor, but she had recovered enough and was home. I was ecstatic. I talked to her on the phone that day. Yeah, I could tell she was somewhat tired and not feeling great, but she was glad to be home.
Over the next few days her health fluctuated from decent to bad, but we were all prayerfully optimistic. Then on Sunday they had to rush her back to the hospital where she passed away that evening.

I've been holding up good. Keeping busy and not dwelling on those things much.  2009 was such a tough year for me, but I made it through it and experienced so many, many great blessings - like Natasha, Lawrence and Photons.  I've gained a lot of strength because of it and I'm even more focused towards better things. We all have those tough, tough times enduring so much, but we do get better. We do overcome.
This thread holds a lot of proof.

Love you all.

bolded for truth!
Be extra good to yourself over the next few days babe. Take the time to remember the good times with your sister, and to celebrate her life. You're a very strong person, and you mean a lot to everyone here.

Love you too

Star Child wrote:
A couple of things.

Earlier in the week and also last week I was searching, playing and saving old songs on YouTube. A few of them took me back to certain days and I wanted to call up my friend and laugh with her about it, but she died this past summer so I couldn't.

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary when my sister came home from the hospital. She had been there through the holidays. Her health was so poor, but she had recovered enough and was home. I was ecstatic. I talked to her on the phone that day. Yeah, I could tell she was somewhat tired and not feeling great, but she was glad to be home.
Over the next few days her health fluctuated from decent to bad, but we were all prayerfully optimistic. Then on Sunday they had to rush her back to the hospital where she passed away that evening.

I've been holding up good. Keeping busy and not dwelling on those things much.  2009 was such a tough year for me, but I made it through it and experienced so many, many great blessings - like Natasha, Lawrence and Photons.  I've gained a lot of strength because of it and I'm even more focused towards better things. We all have those tough, tough times enduring so much, but we do get better. We do overcome.
This thread holds a lot of proof.

Love you all.

One thing I'm looking forward to is hanging out with you, chatting, listening to music (of your choice...you have much better taste than me) and just all around enjoying life as it is.

And someday, God willing, we'll be doing just that. You are a blessing in my life, Kevin. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't at least stop to think about you, Natasha, Lawrence, Dannielle, and this thread in general.

Thank you all for being there.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
...
Thank you all for being there.

And I want to thank the newcomers to the thread who are chipping in.  New voices help express things that some of us can only say crudely, if at all.  Every time someone offers help to another person, I learn something new about compassion, sympathy, understanding, and support.  And probably a lot of other things, too.  This thread brings out the best in people, and I am proud to be a part of the team here.

Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I just wanted to thank everyone here for the help and support.

I find myself on MM less and less, it seems to bring more drama into my life than needed.

Plus I have been so busy.  So I wanted to say thank you and if you want to contact me, send me a PM, I'll likely keep my account up so I will keep checking them

Happy birthday, Nikki!

- Rose - wrote:
I went to therapy for the 2nd time earlier this week. My therapist asked me to keep a journal of things that bother me, mainly disturbing thoughts and overreacting at work. (I get very angry over the littlest things and I stay mad for hours.) The funny thing is, keeping the journal has increased my awareness of OCD-related thoughts I have, and it's bothering me, but I think recognizing and recording them is somehow going to teach me to stop them.

I think I am slowly beginning to learn more about myself, and it's good, but also not good at the same time.

Last year I basicly remembered what triggered me shutting down
socially at age 13,and remembered that something 95% of people
would find rediculous was the trigger point,and what caused
me to be savagely picked on....
In a way while I know much more about myself and why I have at age 40
the social skills of a 13 year old,which caused the catastrophic decisions
I made this past decade...but in a way,I end up reliving the horrors of my past.

- Rose - wrote:
I went to therapy for the 2nd time earlier this week. My therapist asked me to keep a journal of things that bother me, mainly disturbing thoughts and overreacting at work. (I get very angry over the littlest things and I stay mad for hours.) The funny thing is, keeping the journal has increased my awareness of OCD-related thoughts I have, and it's bothering me, but I think recognizing and recording them is somehow going to teach me to stop them.

I think I am slowly beginning to learn more about myself, and it's good, but also not good at the same time.

Chris Rifkin wrote:
Last year I basicly remembered what triggered me shutting down
socially at age 13,and remembered that something 95% of people
would find rediculous was the trigger point,and what caused
me to be savagely picked on....
In a way while I know much more about myself and why I have at age 40
the social skills of a 13 year old,which caused the catastrophic decisions
I made this past decade...but in a way,I end up reliving the horrors of my past.

In both cases y'all are much better off even when it hurts, cause that will fade over time - to an extent, I think.

If you can identify your enemy then you can find ways to combat your enemy thus putting you in a position to defeat your enemy.

I applaud and cheer for both of you.

Dawn Hart wrote:
I would love it if someone could help me out, I'm not quite sure what to do right now.
On new years eve on of my friends got stabbed and died, another is still in the hosp. This all happened at my ex's house. Well, my boyfriend dosnt want me near my ex, but we're still really close and we both need help to get through this. I don't know how I can help my ex, and I cant deal with my boyfriend not understanding.
Dose anyone know what I can do to help my ex? We went to the house last night (police relesed it to him) and there is nothing but blood and marker everywhere. We both broke down and all I could do was hold him..Any advice or help? I just want to be there for him, but I'm having trouble getting myself through this with everything else going on in my life.

This is a link to what they have in the new, it explains this a little better.
http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/1160239.html

There are other people on this site who are better able to advise you than me.  However, I will say this.  No matter what circumstances you find yourself in, your own health is more important than anyone else's (unless we're talking about your own child).  If your boyfriend is too consumed by jealousy that he can't let you see to your own health needs then you have to educate him.  If he can't be educated, you still do what you need to do - but know that it will drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend.  His job is to support you when you need it; he's not doing that, apparently out of insecurity.  NEVER sacrifice your own health for somebody else, unless that someone else is your child.

This is, of course, just an opinion.

EDIT: I realize that I didn't answer your question.  That's because I really don't know how.

Dawn Hart wrote:
I would love it if someone could help me out, I'm not quite sure what to do right now.
On new years eve on of my friends got stabbed and died, another is still in the hosp. This all happened at my ex's house. Well, my boyfriend dosnt want me near my ex, but we're still really close and we both need help to get through this. I don't know how I can help my ex, and I cant deal with my boyfriend not understanding.
Dose anyone know what I can do to help my ex? We went to the house last night (police relesed it to him) and there is nothing but blood and marker everywhere. We both broke down and all I could do was hold him..Any advice or help? I just want to be there for him, but I'm having trouble getting myself through this with everything else going on in my life.

This is a link to what they have in the new, it explains this a little better.
http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/1160239.html

Oy. I'm going to reiterate what Guy said. There is a BIG difference between your bf not wanting you around your ex for regular old immature jealousy reasons (still not good, btw), and a TRAUMA. Can you talk to him about that....tell him how upset you both are, and you need to be able to share it with someone who was involved? Try to explain it the way you explained it to us. If he can't do that, all he is doing is hurting you, not helping, and imo that is what a partner should do, is help.

Are you in therapy? Have you talked to a counselor or therapist about any of this? PM me if you like, I'd be glad to talk to you.

I talked to him about it and explained everything..he told me i'm being a selfish brat and I need to grow up, so I just droped it. I hate fighting with people. I don't know what to do, I won't go behind his back and lie to him, but I don't want to go through this alone eather.

I talked to my counselor about everything, but she was more foucesd on my friends death and how its affecting me. Although I do think I may have made SOME progress, my ex is comming to see my counselor with me tomorrow. I know she can do a better job at helping him then I can.

Dawn Hart wrote:
I talked to him about it and explained everything..he told me i'm being a selfish brat and I need to grow up, so I just droped it. I hate fighting with people. I don't know what to do, I won't go behind his back and lie to him, but I don't want to go through this alone eather.

I talked to my counselor about everything, but she was more foucesd on my friends death and how its affecting me. Although I do think I may have made SOME progress, my ex is comming to see my counselor with me tomorrow. I know she can do a better job at helping him then I can.

He called you a "selfish brat?"      I understand that you do not like confrontation, but telling someone that they are a "selfish brat" for wanting to be there for an "ex" who has gone through a traumatic event is not selfish.   I don't know you or your boyfriend, but just from what you've said, I worry that your current boyfriend is demonstrating signs of being manipulative and controlling which are the opposite of supportive and understanding. 

Continue to talk with your counselor about "everything" because I think that is your best chance of not going through this "alone."

Dawn Hart wrote:
I talked to him about it and explained everything..he told me i'm being a selfish brat and I need to grow up, so I just droped it. I hate fighting with people. I don't know what to do, I won't go behind his back and lie to him, but I don't want to go through this alone eather.

EDIT: I removed my original response as I was playing "therapist."  Let me just say that you should make sure that your own health is your highest priority.

Dawn Hart wrote:
I talked to my counselor about everything, but she was more foucesd on my friends death and how its affecting me. Although I do think I may have made SOME progress, my ex is comming to see my counselor with me tomorrow. I know she can do a better job at helping him then I can.

That sounds good.  Very good.  I'm glad you're doing what needs to be done despite opposition from your bf.  What would be REALLY great is if you could convince your bf to see your counselor.  From what you've said here, though, that seems unlikely.

*hugs and prayers*

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Dawn Hart wrote:
I talked to him about it and explained everything..he told me i'm being a selfish brat and I need to grow up, so I just droped it. I hate fighting with people. I don't know what to do, I won't go behind his back and lie to him, but I don't want to go through this alone eather.

EDIT: I removed my original response as I was playing "therapist."  Let me just say that you should make sure that your own health is your highest priority.


That sounds good.  Very good.  I'm glad you're doing what needs to be done despite opposition from your bf.  What would be REALLY great is if you could convince your bf to see your counselor.  From what you've said here, though, that seems unlikely.

*hugs and prayers*

My boyfriend won`t go with me. He thinks the whole idea is stupid, and if I need someone to talk to it should be him. It`s ok though, I have an appointment in an hour with my ex and councler so today should go better..

THANK YOU EVERYONE! your advice and support is wonderful, I don`t know what I would do without you guys and girls!
*HUGS*

Dawn Hart wrote:

My boyfriend won`t go with me. He thinks the whole idea is stupid, and if I need someone to talk to it should be him. It`s ok though, I have an appointment in an hour with my ex and councler so today should go better..

THANK YOU EVERYONE! your advice and support is wonderful, I don`t know what I would do without you guys and girls!
*HUGS*

How did it turn out?
How are you doing today?
I've been keeping you in my prayers.

Star Child wrote:

How did it turn out?
How are you doing today?
I've been keeping you in my prayers.

I too, am waiting for an update I hope it went well!

Dawn Hart wrote:

My boyfriend won`t go with me. He thinks the whole idea is stupid, and if I need someone to talk to it should be him. It`s ok though, I have an appointment in an hour with my ex and councler so today should go better..

THANK YOU EVERYONE! your advice and support is wonderful, I don`t know what I would do without you guys and girls!
*HUGS*

this is hard for me to say to you, and please i mean you no disrespect, but if people are getting stabbed etc at your ex's house its probably not the kind of people to be around, regardless of your feelings for your ex, therer are some things that are best left in your past...im not a professional therapist of course, and i would differ to their opinion, but in my opinion removing that "element" from your life is in your best interest in the big picture of your life

for example, i know a model on the west coast,  her "friends" (the people she associates with) are (and i kid you not) prostitutes, drug dealers, pimps, and other criminals, she herself has been arrested 7 times...i dont work with her anymore, i dont socialize with her, i try to avoid her as much as possible when im on the west coast, at one time she was a close "friend" of mine, but the more i found out about her, the more distance i put between me and her and her "friends" because there will always be trouble going on...she herself might be a "nice person" but she "chooses" to involve the wrong people in her life, and therefore her choices make my choices very clear

Star Child wrote:
How did it turn out?
How are you doing today?
I've been keeping you in my prayers.

Natasha240 wrote:
I too, am waiting for an update I hope it went well!

Ditto. How is everything going now, Dawn?

I hope everyone else is doing well also.

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Missed you all!  Been so busy.
I have a new drive, work wise, anyway.  Working on a calendar.
This will be January!

Lovely! Nicely done. Or is that a critique?

Star Child wrote:
How did it turn out?
How are you doing today?
I've been keeping you in my prayers.

Natasha240 wrote:
I too, am waiting for an update I hope it went well!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Ditto. How is everything going now, Dawn?
I hope everyone else is doing well also.

I do hope everything is okay.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Lovely! Nicely done. Or is that a critique?

Thank-you!  I don't think it's a critique   It's a lovely compliment!