Chris Rifkin wrote:

Star Child wrote:
Being a stripper doesn't make a woman beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Physical attraction is more important to men than women and no one is suggesting that the woman for you can't be physically attractive to you.

I don't know about your friends or their choices. I do know what you've posted and time and time again you're blaming somebody else and what they want.  You constantly state that you're an amazing catch. I think the one who catches you is the better judge of that. Until her testimony is provided you're a guy looking for a woman.
I've read how you constantly berate all these other loser women as desperate hags worthless to no one. I see very little respect for women in those comments, but you're some amazing catch?

I've been down that road. I've considered myself a great guy and wondered why other great women were always chasing after loser guys. It's not about settling for whatever shows up. It's about a connection that works between two people.

I stand by what I said. You need to re-evaluate what you think you're after and what you think you are. 

And finally, loneliness can be depressing and it sucks.  I know from first hand experience and I can't blame a life of constantly traveling on the road for making it difficult for me to meet up with anyone. So if your loneliness is the root of your depression that's a pretty good thing because now we're not talking chemical imbalances or mental illness. We're talking about a concrete circumstance of life that can be addressed.
Like I said, it's not about what they want. It's about what you want ..... and that's something you've got control over.

People are people. They do things for lots of reasons and none of us are perfect so yeah, I'm sure there's been more than one who blew her chance when it came down to you and others who missed it because their attention was focused elsewhere.  That's just a part of life.  Those are the chances we face for living.
but if you're lonely it's not because of someone else's fault. You'll find out who's fault it is when you stop trying to blame others for your problems.

from a post above this as a previous reply.

this is the issue,always has been the issue.It is an issue that has lead to catastrophic decisions,like getting engaged to my last fiance that ended up screwing up my credit.It has lead to catastrophic ly low self esteem.

A lot of my friends also had horrible self esteem,and terrible social skills(again,not to generalize,but it does seem us metalheads tend to have this issue),half of them were virgins till they met the one they eventually married(and we are talking late 30's to mid 40's here).They are all miserable in their relationships,which is why I do not want to follow in their footsteps.
If it seems I'm overly harsh on some of these women,you seriously need to see some of these women,and not just looks wise.I stated kids are not a deal breaker,but 5-7 kids from multiple partners over a course of 10-20 years isn't a good start to a resume,I call that irresponsible behavior.I have one stalker I have been dealing with on MySpace for a few years telling me she wants to move her and her 6 kids down to Fla and basicly have me take care of all of them because all of the kids fathers have dissapeared.This is what I mean by desperate and undesireable.And a lot of truckers do settle for women like this.("well...she might not be the purtiest thing,but she takes care of me when I get home and she will be there when I do get home)I get lumped in with a lot of guys that all but verify all the negative stereotypes us truckers get,which is unfair but comes from the territory.I knew this when I signed up to do this,and made every effort not to play the part,the fact that I work out 6 days a week(look at my MySpace default pic),eat healthy,look good at all times instead of looking like a slob,don't smell like cattle,ect.And I'm sure if somehow I can overcome all my social issues a girl i would be interested in would see all my good atributes(credit issues aside,I make more than enough to live a confortable life and be able to support a family on my own).But even then,not guarenteed.Kimi(my ex fiance)I am convinced went into my relationship in love with me,but I am convinced 50% of the reason she went back to her ex was that her friends (whom I know hated me)back in Vegas brainwashed her every day about"he is just a trucker"(I know this was said a few times as they left snide comments about me on her MySpace),"you should be embarressed settling for someone like that"(the other 50% being her ex got her hooked on coke and she left me for him and the drugs).
The thing is that if I didn't love my job so much I would not be doing this,but I do love traveling,and besides,my job is pretty much economy proof as long as I don't run shit over or get caught with drugs or get a dwi.
Being lonely pretty much since 1989(with a few catastrophic relationships this decade)is my root of my depression,and my social issues are the cause

We can stand here and compare notes on personal tragedies of life.  I'm here to tell you I've had to deal with a lot of the same issues. And I'm, also telling you that you're going to need to look at yourself only and deal with yourself only for the solutions. You can't blame anyone else, although you've been put through the wringer, because everybody has their own cross to bear so it's up to us how we carry it.
Companions can be a constant in one's life and one can still end up feeling lonely. A date or a relationship is not the cure. No one else can fix it for you.

You have to deal with you in order to get it right. It's not about companionship, although it seems like that would fix it.

I know, man. I deal with this shit everyday. I'm not dating anyone. I'm not even trying to see anyone.  I know about those difficulties in that game.  Yeah, it does suck. But I know this, I didn't start getting over it and in control of it until I put everyone else out of the picture and dealt with me.

That ain't to say that I don't feel the pain. Some days seriously suck.  Some days I really feel the need to have someone else around me, but I understand why that's not the case and I've come to grips with it.
When that happened seeing couples out in public didn't hurt as much. Not having someone to take to a typical place where couples gather didn't matter as much. My self esteem over who I was picked up.
Now I don't write myself off as un-date-able and such. I see myself as whole and complete without the need for another, but I accept and believe that women do find me desirable and the ones who I find desirable are in that group. I accept that by whatever force in life brings us together a relationship can and will happen.
I don't put importance on it to solve anything for me because I know that it isn't the solution. I am my solution.

Chris Rifkin wrote:
I guess the hollidays magnify the situation,and the fact that this is the first year since Kimi left(and she left me New Year`s Eve 2006)that
I have felt this.......
And the fact that this week I have a mucsle pull in my neck and shoulder
haven`t been able to take out any frustration on weights.....

this is not going to be a good 2 weeks.....

You have to go ahead and let it hurt, but the key is not to focus on the reason for the pain.  The pain is enough.  Instead you have to try and focus your energies on building a stronger you.  Sometimes all that means is just sitting around playing video games or something. You just do things and try not to focus on the pain - especially why the pain.

For me, I'm a very creative soul. I started spending my time developing my creative interests and skills. I have this huge whacked out ultra-blog that's basically all things me. Sometimes it's more than a bother to fool with it, but in doing so I've learn to get beyond that pain and find me and grow me.

Just yesterday I wrote a blog post about when I hit that moment in my life where I was no longer feeling all messed up inside over a lost romance. I was free to be myself.  It was kind of funny but once I wrote it I had this feeling like I had emptied my pocket of something I had been carrying around that I no longer needed. Don't know why I felt like I needed to do that. I've been over that relationship years ago, but that's what it felt like.

Anyway, the thing is it does hurt, Chris. It sucks big time, but we have to deal with it in ourselves. Nobody can fix it for us, but if you want to and you make that effort you can do it. You can overcome it. You can become socially skilled and expert even. Just believe in yourself, man and don't worry about the hurt.
You can do it.

Natasha240 wrote:
*peeks in, waves**

*huggs*

Dannielle Levan wrote:
oh herro thar thread.

*mor huggs*

Natasha240 wrote:
*peeks in, waves**

haihai!

Scottsworld71 wrote:
WOOHOO!! ITS OVER!! We made it through the day, time to start getting back to reality!

This,though the hell with my family starts today for 2 days..........

LeDeux Art wrote:
as Jan 2nd nears, i am in a strange pace, ive not slept so sound in 21 years. The return of a model and the way it came about, gave me long awaited closure. For 21 years i doubted if my dear wife was waiting for me in heaven but i no longer doubt such things

Um.

What are you expecting to happen on Jan 2?

Natasha240 wrote:
How is everyone today?

Doing good. Got too kitties behind me sleeping in the sunlight.
How about yourself? How are you? Are we healing up okay?

The Slicing Machine wrote:

Doing good. Got too kitties behind me sleeping in the sunlight.
How about yourself? How are you? Are we healing up okay?

I'm doing ok, nothing I can't handle. The pathology report is in, but the Dr. is out until tomorrow, so I will get my results then. Fingers crossed, no whammies!!!

You keep changing your name and freaking me out

Natasha240 wrote:

I'm doing ok, nothing I can't handle. The pathology report is in, but the Dr. is out until tomorrow, so I will get my results then. Fingers crossed, no whammies!!!

You keep changing your name and freaking me out

I didn't change it this time. Kind of a joke goin' on over at SF2

LeDeux Art wrote:
as Jan 2nd nears, i am in a strange pace, ive not slept so sound in 21 years. The return of a model and the way it came about, gave me long awaited closure. For 21 years i doubted if my dear wife was waiting for me in heaven but i no longer doubt such things

Um.

What are you expecting to happen on Jan 2?

uhhhhhhhh
alarm bells ?

IraMonko wrote:
I've been following this thread for days.  I've been interested in adding to the discussion but have kept my opinion silent because my belief isn't one that I think is socially accepted.

My mom committed suicide 7 years ago.  I've never blamed, been resentful, or angry at her.  She did this after having been "dumped" for the 3rd time.  She always put everyone else first.  I believe that fact was part of the reason for her demise...she simply didn't live for herself.

"At the end of the day" I am relieved to know that my mom doesn't suffer.  Yes, there are certainly things that she could have experienced had she been alive today.  In the end it was her life to live and her life to die as is anybody.

***Success at suicide is final.  If this seems reasonable please chat with someone who has been there.***

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you didn't blame or resent her for her choice.  Too many people adopt that attitude toward suicide and it does nothing but harm both those who are suicidal and those who have lost loved ones to suicide.  Suicide is not something that people want to do - it's something that they are driven to.  Compassion is the best response.

Second, I want to address the sentence above in bold.  While I agree with the premise, I also believe that it is crucial to educate people that there is always a choice other than suicide.  No matter how hopeless things seem and how helpless you feel, it is always possible to pick up a telephone and call for help.  If you don't know who to call, 911 is the right choice.  Or call someone you trust and have them take you to the emergency room.  If you're at the point where you think that suicide is the only choice left to you, remember that you have this second choice.  Call for help.  This message is something that should be spread in every way possible.  You always have a second choice.

Andy Durazo wrote:
I hate life.

Why don't you talk about it?  We're here to listen.

Natasha240 wrote:
So I just talked to my doctor. THe pathology report confirms what the original biopsy said, and the margins are clear. He got it all! So I am set for now, until my next check up. Woooohooo!

yay

Natasha240 wrote:
So I just talked to my doctor. THe pathology report confirms what the original biopsy said, and the margins are clear. He got it all! So I am set for now, until my next check up. Woooohooo!

*** GIANT CRUSHING HAPPY HUG WITH A WOOOOOOOOT!!! ***

Natasha240 wrote:
So I just talked to my doctor. THe pathology report confirms what the original biopsy said, and the margins are clear. He got it all! So I am set for now, until my next check up. Woooohooo!

Just in time for New Years celebration.
Great news! I'm much pleased.

Natasha240 wrote:
So I just talked to my doctor. THe pathology report confirms what the original biopsy said, and the margins are clear. He got it all! So I am set for now, until my next check up. Woooohooo!

Congrats!