Lawrence Guy wrote:
I was waiting for the right moment, darling.  Why don't you put on something tight and silky?

Now that I think about it... maybe *I'll* put on something tight and silky.  oooooh...

This post is useless without pics.

Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I keep feeling soo much, yet not feeling anything at all.
I just want this feeling to go away and to get back to normal. 
Despite Dean being there with unwavering support, I have never felt more alone

Conflicting emotions are something that you share with many of us at this time of the year.  :::HUGS::: 

This thread is like a living entity with all of us contributing to its life!  During the Spring and Summer months, we sometimes see this thread drop to as far as 8 pages back on OT threads.  It always get rescued by the Fall.   Here are some posts of which myself and others have written on this thread that are worth reposting, especially at this time of the year when we are most often in conflict with our emotional well being.   

Patrick Walberg wrote:
This is the time of year when this thread is most important for our sanity. 

This time of the year has been slowly losing it's pleasure, luster, or appeal ... I have to admit, I just don't enjoy Christmas like I used to.  I don't know if it is the commercialization of the holiday, or the loss of loved ones like John Lennon and my dad who enjoyed the Christmas season greatly .... but it's not the same anymore. 
So lately ... every year I put on a brave face and say "Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings!" but don't feel anything special about it.  The Spring is my favorite time of year.  Maybe it's because I like starting new things, projects or adventures?  Maybe it's because I'm a Spring baby?  Whatever!  But I will not beat myself up over having lost the "spirit" of Christmas.  I do keep some hope that I will find it again someday.  It is out there, right?   Anyone else feel the same?

Well if you are reading this, you already know many of us share those feelings.  Sometimes it is an emotional pain ... as this time of the year there is less sunlight, and more expectations.  There are loved ones who are not there for us physically, and we miss them.  There is sometimes a feeling of being alone even when we are surrounded by people.  It's a mixed bag of emotions that hit us all at once!

Scottsworld71 wrote:
Ive chosen that date though and I did it a long time ago, and thing is, im not depressed about it, ive actually been in a better mood because of it if that makes sense.  Everyone has heard the saying " Live each day like its your last" but thing is, noone really does it because of the responsibilities in their lives, whether it be their wife ( im single ) kids ( I have none ) other family ( my relationship with my family has dissolved to that of a casual friendship at best ) or their job ( I have a job, I have it just so I can fund the things I want to do, thats it ) Im pretty much in a spot where I can say " Fuck it, I want to go to the bahamas, im going to save up the money and go!" I dont have to worry about whether I have enough to retire one say, 401K, supporting someone else. Yeah im alright with this deal

Patrick Walberg wrote:
Life is a gift.  Every new day offers new opportunities if you are open to them.  As long as you have life, you have the opportunity to do things and go places.  Things change so quickly from moment to moment and day to day that no one knows what could happen next.  What if one gets help for their depression.  What if one takes the chance on one more day.  Suicide is a choice that you cannot reverse if you realize you are making a mistake.

You are not alone.  Many can relate to you if you are open to it.  I'm older than you.  Also a single man with no wife or kids.  My "job" is what I do right now.  It is what I love doing, communicating online through my writing and photography.  I've been homeless, jobless and without a car, but not all at the same time.  I've survived and recovered from a few near death situations due to injury or health problems. 

So far in my life time, I've found love that is lasting in friendships. But the greatest love of all is the love of myself.  It's knowing that as long as I'm alive then I'm able to love life and reciprocate this wonderful gift of life that is full of opportunities.  It takes effort to make a difference in someone elses life, but it is an effort well worth it!

So if you consider that life is the most precious gift you could ever receive, then why throw it away?   Love and cherish your gift, and you will be loved and cherished back.   Love is all that counts in life!

Taboo Nudes wrote:
We don't have an expiration date stamped on our head. Please try not to think that way. We are here for you. We've all been in the same place and some of us are still struggling with it. I struggle with it every day and I'm on meds.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to the dentist because I'm so stressed that I grind my teeth until I finally cracked a tooth..it was so painful. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis in my hands and spine so I already live in pain. The pain from 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair came to feel like abuse. When the dentist was finished, I just went outside, sat in my truck and just cried. I can't take the physical or emotional pain of my life anymore, but I struggled through it.

Patrick Walberg wrote:
I feel for you! Sending you some BIG GENTLE CYBER HUGS!!!!

Keep in mind that pain is a temporary situation.   Here is a friend of mine who suffers from fibromyalgia ... She is a singer, song writer, YsabellaBrave on Youtube is truely "Brave" as she is beautiful and talented.  I can't take my eyes away, nor my ears ... as I never tire of her!  She is talented and beautiful, yet lives everyday with the pain of fibromyalgia.  Hope you are able to watch these and enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-SA0rztYc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjoQQD5XtKA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_MP_6ldeB4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKJ7eaDWsAk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS-F2ZYGty8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PEayH0EWQA

You are a talented and beautiful person too!  I really enjoy your photography and am glad you posted on this wonderful thread.  Best wishes to you in getting through the pain of sitting in the dentist chair.  It takes a brave person to go through that pain!  You've got more love to give as a result of surviving it!

As long as there is life, there is hope.

Star Child wrote:
My friend asked if I would share this.

When you suffer from depression, its easy to rely on your romantic partner to hold you up.  When a perfectly healthy and strong person allows themselves to be held up by someone else, its as if they're using a wheelchair to get around.  Their legs get weak.  And if someone takes that wheelchair away, they can't just stand up and walk on their own, because they've lost so much strength.  It takes leaning on something a little, leaning on other things or other people while getting a little exercise.  You fall a lot.  You cry a lot.  You're weak and vulnerable.  But you can walk again.

^^
Is very true

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Big hugs for the funky turtle man cos i know he's had a hard time lately!

And sometimes we need divine intervention ...

Patrick Walberg wrote:
This entire vidio made my day and night!  It is very uplifting ....

I hope everyone can watch this ... and hear it!

This is truly amazing!  Up lifting! 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMF_24cQ … annel_page

"Son ... if the mountain was smooth, you couldn't climb it."

I hope you found it as deeply inspirational as I did.

May we all help each other climb those mountains!

Patrick Walberg wrote:

Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I keep feeling soo much, yet not feeling anything at all.
I just want this feeling to go away and to get back to normal. 
Despite Dean being there with unwavering support, I have never felt more alone

Conflicting emotions are something that you share with many of us at this time of the year.  :::HUGS::: 

This thread is like a living entity with all of us contributing to its life!  During the Spring and Summer months, we sometimes see this thread drop to as far as 8 pages back on OT threads.  It always get rescued by the Fall.   Here are some posts of which myself and others have written on this thread that are worth reposting, especially at this time of the year when we are most often in conflict with our emotional well being.   

Patrick Walberg wrote:
This is the time of year when this thread is most important for our sanity. 

This time of the year has been slowly losing it's pleasure, luster, or appeal ... I have to admit, I just don't enjoy Christmas like I used to.  I don't know if it is the commercialization of the holiday, or the loss of loved ones like John Lennon and my dad who enjoyed the Christmas season greatly .... but it's not the same anymore. 
So lately ... every year I put on a brave face and say "Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings!" but don't feel anything special about it.  The Spring is my favorite time of year.  Maybe it's because I like starting new things, projects or adventures?  Maybe it's because I'm a Spring baby?  Whatever!  But I will not beat myself up over having lost the "spirit" of Christmas.  I do keep some hope that I will find it again someday.  It is out there, right?   Anyone else feel the same?

Well if you are reading this, you already know many of us share those feelings.  Sometimes it is an emotional pain ... as this time of the year there is less sunlight, and more expectations.  There are loved ones who are not there for us physically, and we miss them.  There is sometimes a feeling of being alone even when we are surrounded by people.  It's a mixed bag of emotions that hit us all at once!

Scottsworld71 wrote:
Ive chosen that date though and I did it a long time ago, and thing is, im not depressed about it, ive actually been in a better mood because of it if that makes sense.  Everyone has heard the saying " Live each day like its your last" but thing is, noone really does it because of the responsibilities in their lives, whether it be their wife ( im single ) kids ( I have none ) other family ( my relationship with my family has dissolved to that of a casual friendship at best ) or their job ( I have a job, I have it just so I can fund the things I want to do, thats it ) Im pretty much in a spot where I can say " Fuck it, I want to go to the bahamas, im going to save up the money and go!" I dont have to worry about whether I have enough to retire one say, 401K, supporting someone else. Yeah im alright with this deal

I am glad to not be the only one experiencing these emotions, but mine are not from weather.
I spoke to my therapist about an abuse I have only talked to one person about once in my life. Hardest thing I ever had to do.
It is something I put a ton of effort into forgetting, and I had gotten pretty good at not thinking about it, but now that I spoke to my therapist about it, it is there, every second of every day and it is torture.  And I don't know how to deal or react to its memory.
And I am dealing with a lot of self-blame in the situation (which is apparently common for this type of abuse) and just soo much is running through my head every second.

Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I am glad to not be the only one experiencing these emotions, but mine are not from weather.
I spoke to my therapist about an abuse I have only talked to one person about once in my life. Hardest thing I ever had to do.
It is something I put a ton of effort into forgetting, and I had gotten pretty good at not thinking about it, but now that I spoke to my therapist about it, it is there, every second of every day and it is torture.  And I don't know how to deal or react to its memory.
And I am dealing with a lot of self-blame in the situation (which is apparently common for this type of abuse) and just soo much is running through my head every second.

I'm glad that you are seeing a therapist.  Opening up about having been abused in the past can launch a healing process too.  Within the family structure, this time of the year is also when you are most likely to be seeing the abuser or others who may remind you of the past abuse.  It's very important that you continue to see your therapist to help you.  It's a heavy burden to shoulder by yourself!  Best wishes!

Patrick Walberg wrote:

I'm glad that you are seeing a therapist.  Opening up about having been abused in the past can launch a healing process too.  Within the family structure, this time of the year is also when you are most likely to be seeing the abuser or others who may remind you of the past abuse.  It's very important that you continue to see your therapist to help you.  It's a heavy burden to shoulder by yourself!  Best wishes!

Thank you. Luckily it was not a family member and it is a person I haven't seen since I was 10 or 11 and it would be extremely unlikely to see again, thank god.

My family doesn't know and I intend to keep it that way, which is why I only have my fiance as a support in this situation

Pathogenic Confessions wrote:

Thank you. Luckily it was not a family member and it is a person I haven't seen since I was 10 or 11 and it would be extremely unlikely to see again, thank god.

My family doesn't know and I intend to keep it that way, which is why I only have my fiance as a support in this situation

I have heard of victims of abuse blaming themselves, but keep working on yourself to realize that you are not to blame!  Again, it is good to have support!  Best wishes!

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
You never call me "babe".

I was waiting for the right moment, darling.  Why don't you put on something tight and silky?

Now that I think about it... maybe *I'll* put on something tight and silky.  oooooh...


Well, I'm going to improve my arsenal of emoticons so I can have proper conversations with you when you make similar posts in the future.

OOOOOOOOO....we should both put on something tight and silky.

http://www.smileyxtra.co.uk/

Pathogenic Confessions wrote:

Thank you. Luckily it was not a family member and it is a person I haven't seen since I was 10 or 11 and it would be extremely unlikely to see again, thank god.

My family doesn't know and I intend to keep it that way, which is why I only have my fiance as a support in this situation

I've read through your latest posts and all I can say is I understand. One of the worst feelings I have ever felt was being totally alone in a crowd.

I, too, am dealing with some bad stuff that happened to me in my past. It's family related and this time of the year when everyone wants to get together with their family, I just want to run away. I can't be happy around some of them and I don't want to bring their holiday down. So I just sit home alone.

I really hope you can work through your issues and become stronger from it.

LegacyMobileStudio wrote:
Sorry I haven't been on for about 10 pages+

Its gotten so darned busy around the holidays and Ive been just trying to stay afloat!!!

Hope everyone else's hanging in there.

/wave

I know what you mean.

Chris Rifkin wrote:
I keep telling myself this,and I had come to terms with the fact that this is how its going to be the rest of my life probably,no miracles for me.
The past few years I was able to work through the hollidays,yeah,it wasn't really how I wanted to spend them,but I  was in a routine,I  was driving,listening to tunes,hitting the gym,and going to sleep.
When you are home,and bombarded with TV adds showing people in love,rich guys buying their SO expensive jewlery or Lexus',and I'm here wondering what its like to actually feel love.
There is absolutely nowhere for a 40 year old single long haired metalhead to go here where I would fit in(or be surrounded by losers)
Then getting shit from my family because I haven't "settled"yet,it gets old when I get it from multiple ends that "I need to get over myself,not everyone is entitled to be in a relationship with someone they are atracted to,and that I just need to learn my role and start a family"..
I've said it many times,the culture in this country sucks,the women here date "status symbols",but I don't have the $$ to spend the time to make my last ditch attempt to find love in Europe(it would take a year to find out)

Chris, do you have a Facebook, or Myspace profile?  I forgot to check as I write this.  The reason I'm asking is that I've recently found that these social networking sites can be wonderful for reconnecting with people you hadn't even thought of for many years!   

I've had some recent pleasant surprises from some women who were in my life many years ago calling me out of the blue.   Becca (currently my Avatar) was one ... she was my muse, but we lost contact over the years.  She found my number and called me!  She sent me some shots that were originally on film and I've posted them.  I'm thrilled to get to see her again!

Then I got in contact with another former muse of mine, Erryn.  She was found on Facebook.  I'll be posting some what I call "Precious Memories" of her too. as these ladies modeled for me and that means a lot!  Every person we meet has the potential shape us and make us who we are today. We can also have the same effect on them. 

I've also met someone special to me from Yahoo groups.  She and I have gone out, but that is about all we can do at this point due to the fact that she lives a little over a two hour drive (one way) for me.  But there is hope.  I feel the Internet has opened up the door to many possibilites that we did not have before.   

Another thing, ... get out there to concerts and other events!  Even if you go alone, at least you have the chance of meeting someone.  If you can get a photo pass and shoot it, that's cool because many of the rock concert photographers are attractive females.  I've met a few!  Just don't you dare give up, ok buddy!

BellaVita wrote:
i don't know if any of you have heard of an association called... To Write Love On Her Arms... it is an association that has joined together with bands and artists all over the country to help spread awareness and give donations to treatment centers for those who suffer from... suicidal thoughts,depression,and self mutilation... it is an awesome group doing awesome work here is their site so you can learn more or donate by buying any of their amazing hoodies,t-shirts,tanks etc...

http://www.twloha.com/


" We will be the hopeful " -twloha

MandaMoon wrote:
the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company isn't security. kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. after a while you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a man or woman, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain, after awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul. instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers, you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really have worth, you learn and learn, with every goodbye you learn.


an old friend wrote this, it describes a lot of what i've learned and going through the past few weeks, hope it might touch some of you as it did me.

https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thread_id=536852

Guys, loneliness sucks to say the least. I can definitely testify from first hand experience; however please, please, please keep it in perspective when it comes to your level of self esteem.  That's why the above poem(?) is so relevant.

This past summer my ex-wife past away suddenly (some of you are already aware of this) and although we never got back together after we broke up we became best friends. As I look at my life post-marriage and compare the power of our relationship I've come to believe that she was the one. You know how they always say "you'll find that one for you?" I kind of believe for me she was that one. Now she's gone and I'm still here. By that logic I'm done. There's not going to be that one again - according to a certain philosophy - but I don't accept that I'm done. I've a lot of life to live and for a reason. I don't necessarily rule out romance and companionship in that equation.

I'm about to be 52 years old next month and I'm reading "whoa is me" posts from guys at least 10 years my junior who are writing their lives away to no companionship or romance ever again. First off that's bullshit, but I'm not gonna debate the complexities of dating, romance and relationships.
What I am gonna tell you is having such or lack of such is not a determining factor of your worth.

I've felt the heartaches. I know well that burn. I'm a great friend of loneliness, but as I fight through matters of depression I've learned to value myself for myself. My self worth is not determined by whether or not some lady wants to sit by my side because people will sit by your side for a myriad of reasons and none of them will have any bearing on your worth as a person.

You want dates? You wanna have some pretty sweet thing hang by your side? Start first by allowing yourself to believe in yourself because you are worthy period. You need no qualifying circumstance to say so.

Chris,
I'm sorry man, but I'm seeing your arguments and it sounds like you've got your mindset on having to be with some hot beauty of a woman as opposed to a woman who matches up well with you. I've taken notice of your claims of all the other truckers who apparently are stuck with some disgustingly undesirable woman because that was all they could get while you are supposed to be much better than that. Sorry dude. I call bullshit. True romance don't work that way.
I've seen quite a few truckers' wives, too. They're not all loser trolls who can't get a date with a dog in heat. Most importantly why these guys hook up with whatever woman they're with ain't just because they couldn't do any better. Real love and real relationships aren't based on that.
The problem with your dating issues isn't about what they want, it's about what you want. Your idea of the woman for you needs to be re-addressed. This doesn't mean you can't hook up with a woman that's "hot."  It means you need to rework that equation of what's hot and what's not and the value of what it means to a relationship.
Sorry, man, but I'm not gonna pat you on the head, feel sorry for you and try to encourage you with ways to find a date. I think you need to re-evaluate your concept of the issue first.

LegacyMobileStudio wrote:
Sorry I haven't been on for about 10 pages+

Its gotten so darned busy around the holidays and Ive been just trying to stay afloat!!!

Hope everyone else's hanging in there.

:wave:

Natasha240 wrote:
As I'm dealing with my fathers death, one of the main feelings I have is one of feeling alone. I don't know how to explain it, I was trying to talk with Danielle about it. I dont understand it myself. I know I have a handful of people around me who care, it's not that. It's related specifically to my dads death. I don't know what it means. Maybe it's because technically I'm an orphan now? Both of my parents are dead, so I feel like my world is a little smaller? Like a part of me is gone? Me and my dad were SO alike, both in looks and personality....maybe because the only other person in the world who was LIKE me is gone?  I don't know, but this feeling sucks. It makes me so sad.

Also, with everything that has happened the past few months, I  do not want to celebrate Xmas. Not that I ever got into the whole Christmas thing in general, but I don't care this year. I don't want to get gifts, I don't want to give them, I just don't have it in me. When I tell people that, they seem surprised, and I get "Really?" Yes, really.

H*U*G*S

I know how you feel.

Natasha240 wrote:
As I'm dealing with my fathers death, one of the main feelings I have is one of feeling alone. I don't know how to explain it, I was trying to talk with Danielle about it. I dont understand it myself. I know I have a handful of people around me who care, it's not that. It's related specifically to my dads death. I don't know what it means. Maybe it's because technically I'm an orphan now? Both of my parents are dead, so I feel like my world is a little smaller? Like a part of me is gone? Me and my dad were SO alike, both in looks and personality....maybe because the only other person in the world who was LIKE me is gone?  I don't know, but this feeling sucks. It makes me so sad.

Also, with everything that has happened the past few months, I  do not want to celebrate Xmas. Not that I ever got into the whole Christmas thing in general, but I don't care this year. I don't want to get gifts, I don't want to give them, I just don't have it in me. When I tell people that, they seem surprised, and I get "Really?" Yes, really.

That "alone" feeling seems a lot because of your closeness with your dad and it makes sense. It seems you're dealing with the grieving okay and natural. Grieving takes place on our own time table so I wouldn't fret over how you feel cause I think it's part of the process.

I don't like the idea behind giving gifts for Christmas anymore. Haven't been in that mindset for decades so I've gotten used to dealing with others' feelings and stuff when it comes to that. It's my preference and I don't have a problem with it. I can give anyone I love a gift any day of the year and I don't need a specific holiday for the reason. And when you stop to think about it, the reason we give gifts on Christmas can be the same reason we give gifts to someone at anytime and the love and meaning behind that gift is the same.

Star Child wrote:

That "alone" feeling seems a lot because of your closeness with your dad and it makes sense. It seems you're dealing with the grieving okay and natural. Grieving takes place on our own time table so I wouldn't fret over how you feel cause I think it's part of the process.

I don't like the idea behind giving gifts for Christmas anymore. Haven't been in that mindset for decades so I've gotten used to dealing with others' feelings and stuff when it comes to that. It's my preference and I don't have a problem with it. I can give anyone I love a gift any day of the year and I don't need a specific holiday for the reason. And when you stop to think about it, the reason we give gifts on Christmas can be the same reason we give gifts to someone at anytime and the love and meaning behind that gift is the same.

Yanno, that's exactly how I feel. I give gifts all year long. I try to spend time with people all year long but it seems they never have time for me. During this time of year when it's "expected" is when I shut it all out. I do my own thing and I get grief about it.

That was in the back of my mind, but I never thought about it until I read your post. It's true, though.

Natasha240 wrote:
As I'm dealing with my fathers death, one of the main feelings I have is one of feeling alone. I don't know how to explain it, I was trying to talk with Danielle about it. I dont understand it myself. I know I have a handful of people around me who care, it's not that. It's related specifically to my dads death. I don't know what it means. Maybe it's because technically I'm an orphan now? Both of my parents are dead, so I feel like my world is a little smaller? Like a part of me is gone? Me and my dad were SO alike, both in looks and personality....maybe because the only other person in the world who was LIKE me is gone?  I don't know, but this feeling sucks. It makes me so sad.

Also, with everything that has happened the past few months, I  do not want to celebrate Xmas. Not that I ever got into the whole Christmas thing in general, but I don't care this year. I don't want to get gifts, I don't want to give them, I just don't have it in me. When I tell people that, they seem surprised, and I get "Really?" Yes, really.

The pain of death is something that only time can heal.  You'll find the answers to your questions.  Those of us who love you can only give you *huggs* until you do.  I wish I could tell you the meaning of all this, but the meaning is different for every person.  I think, though, that this process will reveal things to you about your father that you never imagined.  You will in some way get to know him more completely than you ever could before.  That's not fair compensation for losing him, but it will help you heal, and it will be a final gift from him to you.  God bless you both.

Star Child wrote:
Just before bed last night I dealt with some very stressful matters - sorting and filing my mail. That should be a mundane task, right? When it's full of bills and collections of debt that I currently can't pay it's a bit stressful just to look at.
Early stages of stress induced panic attack begins. I started to remind myself that just before bed isn't the best time to be taking on such tasks and then started to get down on myself for taking all day to get to it. Of course you can see where this was leading me, but thanks in part to a lot of support what's been going on here I reminded myself of what I was doing.
Shifted my focus to reminding myself that these matters will be taken care of in due time and gave thanks for anticipation of that fact. Went to bed peacefully.

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Bump.  Hi all!

on cloud 9 kinda high, hello

LeDeux Art wrote:
i dont know what the future holds for me, jan. 2nd is coming, my wedding day and the start of my seasonal depression but i have not slept so sound in 21 years. Perhaps i now have closure

Yay and congrats! Best wishes to you!

Solstice Rain wrote:
Some days are just so overwhelming. This year the holiday season just seems to be sucking me dry. Work has become more then I can handle. I'm just so worn out. And in so much pain.

This time of year is so hard. Is there a way you can cut back on your workload?

- Rose - wrote:
I started therapy yesterday. I can already see both good and bad things coming from it. I'm supposed to keep a journal, which has been making the issues I have bother me even more, because now I'm more consciously aware of them. I'm terrified if I start it, someone will find it. I guess that's just something I'll have to get over though.

When I was in the hospital and in the day hospital program, they had us keep journals. I only kept it up for like a month. Though I do understand the premise behind it, I'm not a good journal keeper.

- Rose - wrote:
I started therapy yesterday. I can already see both good and bad things coming from it. I'm supposed to keep a journal, which has been making the issues I have bother me even more, because now I'm more consciously aware of them. I'm terrified if I start it, someone will find it. I guess that's just something I'll have to get over though.

I don't know if I'm comfortable with that concept. If keeping a journal makes you uncomfortable why should they ask you to do that?

Solstice Rain wrote:
Some days are just so overwhelming. This year the holiday season just seems to be sucking me dry. Work has become more then I can handle. I'm just so worn out. And in so much pain.

Is there anything in your situation that's different this year than in other years?  If so, that's a good place to start with to explore your emotions.

Holidays and seasonal effects both can be factors.  For seasonal effects sun lamps have worked very well for me.

- Rose - wrote:
I started therapy yesterday. I can already see both good and bad things coming from it. I'm supposed to keep a journal, which has been making the issues I have bother me even more, because now I'm more consciously aware of them. I'm terrified if I start it, someone will find it. I guess that's just something I'll have to get over though.

One of the hard things about therapy is that you have to slice yourself open and show your insides to other people.  It's not something that someone else can force you to do; you have to willingly wield that scalpel yourself.  It gets easier with time.

I tried the journal idea, but all I did with it was put in one or two sentences at a time as they occurred to me.  I stopped after a few months, but I found it very helpful while I was doing it.

Star Child wrote:
How much snow ya got?