Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
My turn to be down.

My son decided after 14 years of me raising him on my own that he wants to live with his mother on the other side of the country. He went out to visit for the summer and just decided to stay. He said he wants his west coast family to be there when he graduates and the rest of us out here who watched him grow up can just suffer.

It just doesn't seem fair. He's now 16 years old. I wanted to teach him how to drive. I wanted to see him go on his first date. I wanted to see him graduate. I just wanted to see him grow into a man. That's all been shattered now. C'est la vie, right?

Before you wonder why I want to be selfish and not allow his mother to go through those joys, I'll just add that this is my only son. She has 2 other sons from another marriage that she already had the chance to watch grow up and become men. And she hasn't been very active in his life at all. Only for the good stuff. When something bad happened, it was always "dad will handle it".

So, maybe this rant is not valid. Maybe I am being too selfish. Maybe I just need to take a chill pill. But, I feel betrayed by my own son right now. That may not be his intent, but it's how I feel. He is the last person I thought would make me feel this way.

So, anyway, that's it. Done ranting. Bleh.

Remember the monster-eating-butterfly photo [from cancer camp] when you need a pick-me-up!
I have a daughter half way across the country, and she's just turned 3. Imagine how many of the things mommys are supposed to do... and I won't be doing them

Phyxi wrote:
If anyone needs someone to talk to about suicide/self injury/mood disorders, feel free to message me. Just had to put that one out there.

I may take you up on that later

crystalking wrote:

Remember the monster-eating-butterfly photo [from cancer camp] when you need a pick-me-up!
I have a daughter half way across the country, and she's just turned 3. Imagine how many of the things mommys are supposed to do... and I won't be doing them

Thank you. And now you know why I started that critique thread. I still have that picture in my mind.

Dannielle Levan wrote:

I may take you up on that later

Hugzzz. Do I need to bring out all my smileys again?

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Smily overload >_

Gabrielle Heather wrote:
I wish I was around when this started. great thread. I am here for anyone who wants to talk. I have experience with this of my own for a good part of my life and I also have professional experience with this. Takes one to know one

Andrea Martini wrote:
great thread.
i am another person always available if anyone needs to talk.
i have battled both depression and an eating disorder...long roads, so i understand.
i think creative people are more suseptible (sp) to dealing with depression and related illnesses. just my impression.

Hugzzz and welcome. Pull up a chair, sit down, relax and be yourselves.

Care for a drink or an appetizer?

Dannielle Levan wrote:
*bump* cos this thread should always be on front page.

true, and funny its brought upfront and center right when I was able to distract my mind for a few. eesh. i just HAD to look at the forums now.  Im currently in the takes one to know one mental state

Kayelless wrote:
I want to share with you this post written by one of our MM models. It's called Confidence.
http://kayelless.net/?p=4128&cpage=1#comment-196

Julia Gold wrote:
down down down seems to be the way things are going right now.

Hugs. I feel the same way. Bleh.

Hope everyone else is doing OK though.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Hugs. I feel the same way. Bleh.

Hope everyone else is doing OK though.

its in the air. im going skydiving thursday as long as the weather permits. that should produce enough happy for a bit. skydiving is the best happy drug ever. come with me!

Gabrielle Heather wrote:

its in the air. im going skydiving thursday as long as the weather permits. that should produce enough happy for a bit. skydiving is the best happy drug ever. come with me!

If I didn't work, I'd say sure. I'll take a raincheck, though.

But, I'm sure you'll have enough fun for all of us.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
My turn to be down.

My son decided after 14 years of me raising him on my own that he wants to live with his mother on the other side of the country. He went out to visit for the summer and just decided to stay. He said he wants his west coast family to be there when he graduates and the rest of us out here who watched him grow up can just suffer.

It just doesn't seem fair. He's now 16 years old. I wanted to teach him how to drive. I wanted to see him go on his first date. I wanted to see him graduate. I just wanted to see him grow into a man. That's all been shattered now. C'est la vie, right?

Before you wonder why I want to be selfish and not allow his mother to go through those joys, I'll just add that this is my only son. She has 2 other sons from another marriage that she already had the chance to watch grow up and become men. And she hasn't been very active in his life at all. Only for the good stuff. When something bad happened, it was always "dad will handle it".

So, maybe this rant is not valid. Maybe I am being too selfish. Maybe I just need to take a chill pill. But, I feel betrayed by my own son right now. That may not be his intent, but it's how I feel. He is the last person I thought would make me feel this way.

So, anyway, that's it. Done ranting. Bleh.

He's spreading his wings. Give him you love and blessings to go. If you fight him on this it will only give him a reason to escalate the typical teenage angst.

Nolette wrote:
le bump. I hate seeing this thread get lost.

Hugs. Thank you. Shooting with you would cheer me up.

Taboo Nudes wrote:

He's spreading his wings. Give him you love and blessings to go. If you fight him on this it will only give him a reason to escalate the typical teenage angst.

I didn't fight him. Didn't even try to convince him to stay. I just told him it's completely his decision and to do what he feels is best for him. What else could I do? He's 16. I like to think I raised him properly. He's a good kid...basically a young man, really. Very responsible, very respectful. He'll be fine wherever he goes.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I didn't fight him. Didn't even try to convince him to stay. I just told him it's completely his decision and to do what he feels is best for him. What else could I do? He's 16. I like to think I raised him properly. He's a good kid...basically a young man, really. Very responsible, very respectful. He'll be fine wherever he goes.

I'm sure he is a great kid. You did the right thing. He'll come back...they always do.

Taboo Nudes wrote:

I'm sure he is a great kid. You did the right thing. He'll come back...they always do.

Yeah, when they're jobless, broke, cold and hungry.

Sorry, couldn't resist a little kidding around there.

And thanks. I appreciate your words.

Natasha240 wrote:
:::hugs to both new and old::::

I'm up and down, the usual. I was feeling so good, I decided to try to go back to work again, part-time. I start in October. But then of COURSE, a series of bad things happen, that are trying to drag me back down. So far, I'm holding out, for as long as I can.

I don't post in here much anymore, but ANYONE can PM me, at any time if you want to talk. Those of you who have my phone number, call me anytime. Just a reminder.

I almost did text you the other day. I seem to be pushing everyone away from me lately. I honestly have no idea why, either. It sucks.

But, hugz back atcha. Good thoughts coming your way.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I almost did text you the other day. I seem to be pushing everyone away from me lately. I honestly have no idea why, either. It sucks.

But, hugz back atcha. Good thoughts coming your way.

I do this too, constantly. I feel you hon. Text me anyway, I get it.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Yeah, when they're jobless, broke, cold and hungry.

Sorry, couldn't resist a little kidding around there.

And thanks. I appreciate your words.

LOL....how true. I've been there with my youngest. I didn't think he would ever get his head on straight. He just got back from Afghanistan...earned medals for his bravery in battle. Got married, and is going to Iraq in February. It just took a long time for him to grow up, but I'm proud of him...he did it.

Taboo Nudes wrote:

LOL....how true. I've been there with my youngest. I didn't think he would ever get his head on straight. He just got back from Afghanistan...earned medals for his bravery in battle. Got married, and is going to Iraq in February. It just took a long time for him to grow up, but I'm proud of him...he did it.

That's awesome! And thank him for me.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

That's awesome! And thank him for me.

I will, and thank you.

Nolette wrote:
Hey...I guess I just need a slight vent and an invisible ear.
I've got plenty of my own problems I don't give name to, and right now they just feel a little overwhelming. I just wish that I didn't have to worry about fucking up every day. Some nights, I can positively hate myself. And I think I'm there right now.

And I wish that I had someone on campus who really understood what I'm going through.
School psych's suck. I feel much more at home with everyone here. Sigh.

hugs . you are not alone