Model Instincts wrote:
Okay, my birthday was depressing...it's not because I turned 31...but the fact that my friends, family, and co-workers didn't acknowedge it.

I'm not that bad of a person...I would give them the shirt off of my back.

It's not that birthdays are everything, but I didn't even get a dinner, a card or anything...which makes me reevaluate my life.

If I am not that important to be ackowledged, why am I here on Earth ?  I have accomplished many goals in life...including here on modelmayhem.

I had to call in from work today...because I am still distraught.  and probably lose my job for being absent from my depression.

NO ONE FUCKING CARES.

i care and i understand where you're coming from

Model Instincts wrote:
If I am not that important to be ackowledged, why am I here on Earth ?  I have accomplished many goals in life...including here on modelmayhem.

Please don't take this as being rude. I'd rather be brutally honest and help, rather than watch your life fall apart by overlooking this.

I've learned from experience, when you think you deserve acknowledgment for accomplishments, is when you actually deserve it the least. It hurts to know that the first time; but it helps to cope next time it happens. Everyone gets the 'big head' sometimes (no pun intended, this time).

Accomplishments don't make a person. A person makes accomplishments. It's up to you who you want that person to be.

...and...

*hugs*

Happy [late] 31th!

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

Please don't take this as being rude. I'd rather be brutally honest and help, rather than watch your life fall apart by overlooking this.

I've learned from experience, when you think you deserve acknowledgment for accomplishments, is when you actually deserve it the least. It hurts to know that the first time; but it helps to cope next time it happens. Everyone gets the 'big head' sometimes (no pun intended, this time).

Accomplishments don't make a person. A person makes accomplishments. It's up to you who you want that person to be.

...and...

*hugs*

Happy [late] 31th!

I don't think I deserve anything, yet I still give everything I got. Some people see that as a weakness. Some people take me for a fool or a joke. Others abuse it. Still I go on with who I am, but we all have times where we could use a bit of cheer just for who we are. It comes in like water for someone who thirst....

Kayelless wrote:
I don't think I deserve anything, yet I still give everything I got.

That's what makes life worth living. If ya don't give your all, life just ain't no fun.

- Rose - wrote:
Hi, I've only posted a few times here before, but I think I need some advice, or maybe just someone to listen.

I've decided that I want to go talk to a therapist. The thing is, I don't think I'll ever get around to it. I have a huge fear of telling other people my feelings, especially people I know. It's not so bad here though. For example, I would never think of telling my family or my boyfriend about the way I feel, but I would be more comfortable talking to perfect strangers. I'd probably have no problem setting up the appointment with the therapist, going to the office, but as soon as I got in there and they expected me to talk I'd just freeze up and waste their time.

I've never heard of a fear similar to mine and I just wish I knew why I couldn't express my emotions. I wish that so much. I don't know what to do.

http://www.depression.com/

http://helpguide.org/

Living With Depression - Turtle Life @ kayelless.net

Your therapist understands this and will not pressure you to talk about anything. They typically will just allow you to be yourself and discuss as you are comfortable discussing.  It's not an easy road. Takes a lot to try, I know, but if you feel you need to talk then allow yourself to give it a try.

Three links above of sites that help provide you with assistance, support and answers.  Check them out or talk to me all you want. I'm not a therapist, but I am an ear for starters.

- Rose - wrote:
I'd probably have no problem setting up the appointment with the therapist, going to the office, but as soon as I got in there and they expected me to talk I'd just freeze up and waste their time.

You'd be surprised how relaxed you are with a good therapist. I highly recommend seeing one if you never have. It's a good experience.

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

You'd be surprised how relaxed you are with a good therapist. I highly recommend seeing one if you never have. It's a good experience.

I want to. And I have before, from the ages of 9 to 17. Back then it was something I had to do, and I didn't talk much throughout the sessions. My last therapist was an art therapist, and I liked our sessions, but I didn't talk about feelings with her either. Now that I'm older I understand that I need to.

And Kayelless, thanks for the links. I have read some of your blog recently because of this thread, and the stories from everyone were amazing to read. Thank you both again.

- Rose - wrote:

I want to. And I have before, from the ages of 9 to 17. Back then it was something I had to do, and I didn't talk much throughout the sessions. My last therapist was an art therapist, and I liked our sessions, but I didn't talk about feelings with her either. Now that I'm older I understand that I need to.

And Kayelless, thanks for the links. I have read some of your blog recently because of this thread, and the stories from everyone were amazing to read. Thank you both again.

I truly hope this time will be the time you open up. Depression really sucks ass.

*hugs*

- Rose - wrote:

I want to. And I have before, from the ages of 9 to 17. Back then it was something I had to do, and I didn't talk much throughout the sessions. My last therapist was an art therapist, and I liked our sessions, but I didn't talk about feelings with her either. Now that I'm older I understand that I need to.

And Kayelless, thanks for the links. I have read some of your blog recently because of this thread, and the stories from everyone were amazing to read. Thank you both again.

You're welcome to contribute if you want to. The reason why I started it was to help folks by us helping each other.

Miss Kerri wrote:
My brother passed away last night after taking his own life...he was 19. He had been struggling for a while after going through cancer treatment at 16. Even though he had been in remission for a little over a year, he was still tormented.

So people please don't ever, ever be afraid to ask for help. I know it seems like it won't get better but it can and it will. I only wish my brother had reached out for more help and accepted what was given to him.

Thank you for your message and my condolences at such a terrible time for you and your family.
*huggs*

Miss Kerri wrote:
My brother passed away last night after taking his own life...he was 19. He had been struggling for a while after going through cancer treatment at 16. Even though he had been in remission for a little over a year, he was still tormented.

So people please don't ever, ever be afraid to ask for help. I know it seems like it won't get better but it can and it will. I only wish my brother had reached out for more help and accepted what was given to him.

***BIG HUG***

Kayelless wrote:
Yesterday was a very tough day for me, but I managed to survive it. Now I'm back to spread the love again today.

I wanted to say thank you for your tag on my profile. It sounds silly but it brightened my day because it reminded me that there are some people out there who say "how are you" and actually want to hear a truthful answer.

Me, work has been difficult lately, I recently transferred to a new location and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I've been hating myself for it lately. I know I shouldn't dislike myself and I'm trying to get myself out of that way of thinking. Being able to talk to understanding people here helps.

Der Sonnenuntergang wrote:
I would like to say, this topic was the main reason of my registration on the site. I wanted to tell about me and my own suicide/depression experience, but now I read the topic again and again and see that my queachy person and my problems are not worth mentioning againist other persons and their problems.

I want to hear your story. It is worth mentioning. Maybe by telling it, you would help someone else in the process.

- Rose - wrote:

I wanted to say thank you for your tag on my profile. It sounds silly but it brightened my day because it reminded me that there are some people out there who say "how are you" and actually want to hear a truthful answer.

Me, work has been difficult lately, I recently transferred to a new location and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I've been hating myself for it lately. I know I shouldn't dislike myself and I'm trying to get myself out of that way of thinking. Being able to talk to understanding people here helps.

me and my therapist once talked about giving oneself permission to fail (or make a mistake). We can't hold ourselves hostage like that.

Der Sonnenuntergang wrote:
I would like to say, this topic was the main reason of my registration on the site. I wanted to tell about me and my own suicide/depression experience, but now I read the topic again and again and see that my queachy person and my problems are not worth mentioning againist other persons and their problems.

I still think that nobody has right of suicide because all the problems can be solved in a different way. Nobody has this right. Nobody. Except me.

Thank you for saying so about the topic.  I think there are many people who need it, and so I'm giving this thread new life back from page 8! 

About what you said ... "nobody has this right."   I tend to think of it in different terms.  Suicide is not a "right" but a wrong ... as in a potential mistake that cannot be repaired, fixed or undone once it's happened.  When you're dead, that's the end of life.  I happen to know that things can change pretty fast while we are alive.  What might cause you to be depressed can at least change if you work on it.   

IN LIFE THERE IS HOPE!

Kayelless wrote:
*finishes sweeping up the floor, turns out the light, closes the door*

LeDeux Art wrote:
shellys moving, she took me to lunch and told me the other day. texas seems so far, my darling friend, always support ave, always nude and always beautiful is leaving the neighborhood

Sorry to hear this. I'm sure you'll figure things out.

Miss Kerri wrote:
My brother passed away last night after taking his own life...he was 19. He had been struggling for a while after going through cancer treatment at 16. Even though he had been in remission for a little over a year, he was still tormented.

So people please don't ever, ever be afraid to ask for help. I know it seems like it won't get better but it can and it will. I only wish my brother had reached out for more help and accepted what was given to him.

I'm so sorry

Der Sonnenuntergang wrote:
I would like to say, this topic was the main reason of my registration on the site. I wanted to tell about me and my own suicide/depression experience, but now I read the topic again and again and see that my queachy person and my problems are not worth mentioning againist other persons and their problems.

I still think that nobody has right of suicide because all the problems can be solved in a different way. Nobody has this right. Nobody. Except me.

No one's problems are ever less than significant of anyone elses. This thread is for everyone to share

J Henry wrote:
Surviving anxiety and depression myself, it's so good to see a thread like this!

QFT

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

You'd be surprised how relaxed you are with a good therapist. I highly recommend seeing one if you never have. It's a good experience.

+100
My therapist turned my life completely around(err   I mean helped me turn my life around,you can take all the great  advice in the world,if you don't take the bull by the horn,trust what your therapist is telling you,and make the changes,therapy is useless)..
Her theme has been and still is"if you put your mind to it,you can acomplish it"
I've kinda been a poster child for this saying the past few years,from singlehandedly debunking the stereotype that all OTR truclers are morbidly obeese smelly uneducated losers(when in fact,when I get  my press pics done for my upcoming CD release in a few weeks,I will have a physique not that unlike the dudes in your port),ect....
Jjust have to apply  this theme to relationships,that I can meet and eventually marry someone I find stunningly atractive

SPierce Photography wrote:

No one's problems are ever less than significant of anyone elses. This thread is for everyone to share

Always good to see this thread bumped.  It's a very important one!

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

You'd be surprised how relaxed you are with a good therapist. I highly recommend seeing one if you never have. It's a good experience.

+100
My therapist turned my life completely around(err   I mean helped me turn my life around,you can take all the great  advice in the world,if you don't take the bull by the horn,trust what your therapist is telling you,and make the changes,therapy is useless)..
Her theme has been and still is"if you put your mind to it,you can acomplish it"
I've kinda been a poster child for this saying the past few years,from singlehandedly debunking the stereotype that all OTR truclers are morbidly obeese smelly uneducated losers(when in fact,when I get  my press pics done for my upcoming CD release in a few weeks,I will have a physique not that unlike the dudes in your port),ect....
Jjust have to apply  this theme to relationships,that I can meet and eventually marry someone I find stunningly atractive

LeDeux Art wrote:
shellys moving, she took me to lunch and told me the other day. texas seems so far, my darling friend, always support ave, always nude and always beautiful is leaving the neighborhood

Jon i am around if you need to talk. I will pm my number to you just in case brother man.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I give up.

why do you give up? you know better than that!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I give up.

Why?  What's going on that would cause you to want to "give up?"

Come back and post some more, please? 
There are people who care here.