Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I give up.  Don't give up, you're one of the most inspiring people on here. You and Kayelless always make me feel better. Don't make me barrage you with kittens, cos i will!
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Thanks everyone. I'll be fine. Just tired is all. I tend to expend all my energy trying to keep others up that I have none left for myself. I probably just need to "recharge" is all. Sorry if I worried anyone. I don't give up on life. Too many photos left to take. ![https://fc01.deviantart.com/fs28/f/2008/166/5/0/_Present_for_Vic__by_Shicken05.gif]() And I promised Stephanie another weekend of hanging out. ![https://fc09.deviantart.com/fs19/f/2007/238/6/e/Super_Static_Shock_by_NewYorkKid618.gif]() ![https://fc01.deviantart.com/fs40/f/2009/003/c/3/that__s_what_friends_are_for_by_InflatableBanana.gif]() And I have to stick around to keep Dannielle smiling. ![https://fc00.deviantart.com/fs41/f/2009/009/a/b/_Goofy_Dancer_one__by_Shicken05.gif]() ![https://fc00.deviantart.com/fs41/f/2009/009/2/5/_Goofy_Dancer_two__by_Shicken05.gif]() ![https://fc02.deviantart.com/fs40/f/2009/009/5/1/_Goofy_Dancer_three__by_Shicken05.gif]()
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Patrick Walberg wrote:
Good to hear from you!  Thanks. It's good to be heard from.  Good to see you again, too.
Model
Miss Kerri
Posts: 371
Manchester, New Hampshire, US
It's been exactly three weeks since my brother passed. I know this thread is more to help people who are suicidal or depressed and let them know people care, but I think hearing from someone who has lost someone very close to suicide also helps. So I hope no one minds that I post this here. I may also ramble a bit..
Truthfully, I have thought about it when I was younger. I also bare many scars from self injury. Yet I now have this whole new outlook on it that I wish others could get without having to go through losing someone. I never realized just how affected the "survivors" are. No one should have to go through what my parents are going through. There is no way to rationalize the loss of someone like this. It just leaves loved ones with so many questions and so much guilt.
I know first hand that life gets better. You need to learn to see simple things in life, no matter how small. Things won't always go your way and you can't avoid sadness, but when one door closes another will always open, you just have to see it and go with it, take some chances. Life is what happens when you are busy planning other things.
You need to take time to be completely selfish, and take time to be completely selfless. You need to reach out for help when you need it, and accept it when it's offered. Most of all you just need to be true to yourself, and just be yourself.
And remember never sweat the small stuff.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Miss Kerri wrote:
It's been exactly three weeks since my brother passed. I know this thread is more to help people who are suicidal or depressed and let them know people care, but I think hearing from someone who has lost someone very close to suicide also helps. So I hope no one minds that I post this here. I may also ramble a bit..
Truthfully, I have thought about it when I was younger. I also bare many scars from self injury. Yet I now have this whole new outlook on it that I wish others could get without having to go through losing someone. I never realized just how affected the "survivors" are. No one should have to go through what my parents are going through. There is no way to rationalize the loss of someone like this. It just leaves loved ones with so many questions and so much guilt.
I know first hand that life gets better. You need to learn to see simple things in life, no matter how small. Things won't always go your way and you can't avoid sadness, but when one door closes another will always open, you just have to see it and go with it, take some chances. Life is what happens when you are busy planning other things.
You need to take time to be completely selfish, and take time to be completely selfless. You need to reach out for help when you need it, and accept it when it's offered. Most of all you just need to be true to yourself, and just be yourself.
And remember never sweat the small stuff. I'm sorry for your loss Kerri. Thank you for this post. Good advice here.
Model
Rachel Haywire
Posts: 969
San Francisco, California, US
I wrote this poem when I was going through a major depression after going through some extremely nasty slander and harassment in my industry. I'm working on getting over it but a lot of the negative feelings still linger and attack me.
While You Thought
While you thought that my mother was paying my rent I was couch surfing, squatting, and sleeping outside.
While you thought I had people driving me around I was hitchhiking in dangerous places afraid for my life.
While you thought I was getting a trust fund I was selling my personal property in order to eat.
While you thought I was starting shit with random people I had people ignoring my safe words and police telling me that it was my fault.
While you thought that being jewish made things easy for me I was hating myself and getting attacked by neo-nazi's.
While you thought I was attacking people who didn't deserve it I was getting death threats from people I didn't even know.
While you thought I had no clue what it was like to experience real life I was getting beaten and abused by people I considered my friends.
While you thought I was hanging out with lawyers I was hanging out with the only few people who could tolerate me.
While you thought I was trying to get attention I was crying for people to leave me alone.
While you thought I was taking vacations I was being told to kill myself by people I once trusted.
While you thought my mother had my back there were people threatening to rape her. She blamed me for this. She blamed me for everything.
Who the fuck were you to judge me? Who the fuck were you to make assumptions? Who the fuck were you to believe the lies?
You never knew me. You never wanted to.
You never had a clue.
Model
Tanita-Alethiea Gibbs
Posts: 30
Brackley, England, United Kingdom
That poem is so...i dont know....but i liked it!
It crescendoed and the kinda toned down in words but not in meaning.
I have a anxiety disorder at 17, most people think its just teenage anxt, but its more than that, i have attacks that leave me parralised. I had an attack not to long ago and i thought i was dieing, my mouth felt like it was filling up with blood and i was drowing.
but i think we all just need to remember, that although the world and life is hard, its also beautiful, and we sould never give up seeing the beautiful thinks in life, from the most beautiful person you have ever seen, to the rubbish dancing in th wind.
your all beautiful.
x
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Oh Lordy! I rescued this thread from page 8! It should never fall that far behind!
Help! I have a friend who is in need of some grief counseling. She is 19 years old, and the "love" of her life, a young man who was her boyfriend died suddenly earlier this year. She has written some things that indicate to me that she is very lost and depressed without him. She has not gone as far as to write anything to lead me to believe she'd hurt herself, but she sure is not enjoying life anymore. She has indicated that she looks forward to seeing him again soon in the after life. That is not a direct nor immediate desire to commit suicide itself.
I am going to do my best to help her. I am trained for suicide and crisis intervention which means those issues that are "right now" but I am NOT trained in grief counseling. It is different, and any professional knows that. I'm not actually family, but I'm about as close to her as an uncle. I am good friends with her mom, but her mom and her do not get along well. Her dad is out of the picture.
So I have an idea that this requires a bit longer term help. I don't believe she is suicidal, but I do know she is suffering from depression. I've got the numbers to the crisis hotlines, but I wonder if anyone knows of an inexpensive counseling service available for her in the San Jose, California area?
Thank you!
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Miss Kerri wrote:
It's been exactly three weeks since my brother passed. I know this thread is more to help people who are suicidal or depressed and let them know people care, but I think hearing from someone who has lost someone very close to suicide also helps. So I hope no one minds that I post this here. I may also ramble a bit..
Truthfully, I have thought about it when I was younger. I also bare many scars from self injury. Yet I now have this whole new outlook on it that I wish others could get without having to go through losing someone. I never realized just how affected the "survivors" are. No one should have to go through what my parents are going through. There is no way to rationalize the loss of someone like this. It just leaves loved ones with so many questions and so much guilt.
I know first hand that life gets better. You need to learn to see simple things in life, no matter how small. Things won't always go your way and you can't avoid sadness, but when one door closes another will always open, you just have to see it and go with it, take some chances. Life is what happens when you are busy planning other things.
You need to take time to be completely selfish, and take time to be completely selfless. You need to reach out for help when you need it, and accept it when it's offered. Most of all you just need to be true to yourself, and just be yourself.
And remember never sweat the small stuff. Three weeks ... oh that is so recent! I'm so sorry. It sounds like you are coping, and I feel for your parents too. If you ever feel the need for grief counseling, do not hesitate to get it for you or your parents too! Life can and will get better for you! XOXO's
Model
Faith EnFire
Posts: 13514
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US
Patrick Walberg wrote:
So I have an idea that this requires a bit longer term help. I don't believe she is suicidal, but I do know she is suffering from depression. I've got the numbers to the crisis hotlines, but I wonder if anyone knows of an inexpensive counseling service available for her in the San Jose, California area?
Thank you! No, but you can always try social services or call the county mental health. they should have numbers
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Faith EnFire wrote:
No, but you can always try social services or call the county mental health. they should have numbers Thank you. I am hoping that there is something more than just the crisis hotline.
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Well I found out more details about what happened to her boyfriend. He died in a car crash when he rode with a drunk driver. Drinking and driving is not cool!
Model
Megan G
Posts: 2007
Parker, Colorado, US
You know...the hardest thing I've ever done in my life this far is to finally come to accept the fact that I am severely depressed, and have been the majority of my life. Its weird, for a while, I sort of forgot about my depression...I guess its because I created this sort of like alter ego (for lack of a better word) who was always so happy and carefree. And I could be this person for a while, but then life always came back and knocked me on my ass. Most of my friends only know me as this 'alter ego', and now that I'm no longer this happy and carefree person, none of them really understand or get it.
I finally took steps to really help myself in the long run, not just a temporary fix. I decided that this isn't going to be a healthy environment for my daughter to grow up in, especially since I can't seem to control my bouts of depression anymore. I am working on getting approval through my insurance to start seeing a psychiatrist. Hopefully they can help me.
I've never posted in this thread before, but I thought it was a rather fitting place to finally say that I'm going to change my life.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
Megan G wrote:
You know...the hardest thing I've ever done in my life this far is to finally come to accept the fact that I am severely depressed, and have been the majority of my life. Its weird, for a while, I sort of forgot about my depression...I guess its because I created this sort of like alter ego (for lack of a better word) who was always so happy and carefree. And I could be this person for a while, but then life always came back and knocked me on my ass. Most of my friends only know me as this 'alter ego', and now that I'm no longer this happy and carefree person, none of them really understand or get it.
I finally took steps to really help myself in the long run, not just a temporary fix. I decided that this isn't going to be a healthy environment for my daughter to grow up in, especially since I can't seem to control my bouts of depression anymore. I am working on getting approval through my insurance to start seeing a psychiatrist. Hopefully they can help me.
I've never posted in this thread before, but I thought it was a rather fitting place to finally say that I'm going to change my life. *stands and applauds*
Yay! Love it!
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Megan G wrote:
You know...the hardest thing I've ever done in my life this far is to finally come to accept the fact that I am severely depressed, and have been the majority of my life. Its weird, for a while, I sort of forgot about my depression...I guess its because I created this sort of like alter ego (for lack of a better word) who was always so happy and carefree. And I could be this person for a while, but then life always came back and knocked me on my ass. Most of my friends only know me as this 'alter ego', and now that I'm no longer this happy and carefree person, none of them really understand or get it.
I finally took steps to really help myself in the long run, not just a temporary fix. I decided that this isn't going to be a healthy environment for my daughter to grow up in, especially since I can't seem to control my bouts of depression anymore. I am working on getting approval through my insurance to start seeing a psychiatrist. Hopefully they can help me.
I've never posted in this thread before, but I thought it was a rather fitting place to finally say that I'm going to change my life. Good for you! Better to do something now rather than wait until it reaches crisis level. Just as with physical pain, there is emotional pain from depression. Most people who have physical pain will go see a doctor about it before it gets worse, but it's important to deal with emotional pain for the long term too.
Model
The Matthew Ross
Posts: 2735
Tulsa, Oklahoma, US
wow...
so some of us are more alike than we are different. I have too many things & so many dreams to live for , & those dreams & accomplishments will ALWAYS out weigh the small things...
always.
Model
Megan G
Posts: 2007
Parker, Colorado, US
Kayelless wrote:
*stands and applauds*
Yay! Love it! Thanks
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
I know someone who is suffering from depression and it's really beating her up. The reason why is because she is more secure in embracing her pain than she is in challenging what it's about. I have to sympathize with her because she is dealing with a lot of issues.
It's not just depression, as she has a physical illness that causes her great pain and suffering. Then her father passed away and he was her life. Now that he is gone she has given up hope.
Now she tries to do things productive for herself - like modeling - but in the end she just goes around feeling sorry for herself looking for someone to make it better for her. She does understand that it really is up to her, but she doesn't want to do anything about it. Like I said, she would rather stay miserable than try to get better. She blames her disease (it's incurable - only treatable) which is a daily struggle for the reason she shouldn't feel better.
She has friends who understand that her frame of mind is half the battle and we try to give her support and work to encourage her. It's a tough fight because she pushes us to the limit with her constant "whoa is me" attitude and in frustration we might say the wrong thing. That's when she gets mad and pushes them out of her life.
I see a lot of myself in her. I've seen how I've hung close to my pain afraid to believe that it really will change and get better, so the experience has helped me. Still I worry for her. She needs help. She needs it badly. I worry that she will completely self-destruct if she doesn't change her current path.
I've tried to help her, but she pushed me away. Now I just have to stay in prayer for her.
Model
Megan G
Posts: 2007
Parker, Colorado, US
Patrick Walberg wrote:
Good for you! Better to do something now rather than wait until it reaches crisis level. Just as with physical pain, there is emotional pain from depression. Most people who have physical pain will go see a doctor about it before it gets worse, but it's important to deal with emotional pain for the long term too. Yea, its mostly the emotional pain affecting me, but it feels like a thousand pounds just chillin on my chest. I also have really bad mood swings over the smallest stuff and I get so worked up that I feel like I'm drowning. And it feels like all of this just got worse ever since I got pregnant, so I don't know. Definitely need help though...
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
1 Matthew Ross wrote:
wow...
so some of us are more alike than we are different. I have too many things & so many dreams to live for , & those dreams & accomplishments will ALWAYS out weigh the small things...
always. that's the reason I support this thread and why I've opened up about my own depression. It affects a lot of people and they need to see that they're not alone. They need to know someone does understand how they feel.
In our little MM community I see signs of depression in so many here. I want them to know it's okay and that they can get control of it and win the battle.
Model
The Matthew Ross
Posts: 2735
Tulsa, Oklahoma, US
Kayelless wrote:
that's the reason I support this thread and why I've opened up about my own depression. It affects a lot of people and they need to see that they're not alone. They need to know someone does understand how they feel.
In our little MM community I see signs of depression in so many here. I want them to know it's okay and that they can get control of it and win the battle. I'm glad its here. I too suffer/suffered from it. Its not easy being me, though I focus on the good things... its not easy.
having a family who doesn't support you ... because of who I am. I've been called the "f word" by my own mother ...just once a few years ago. Yet it crosses my mind everyday. & my family wonders why I'm so distant from them .
I have a friend who commited suicide in 2005 because his family disowned him due to his sexual orientation. Its not easy to look at mom ... & the first thing that comes to mind is that.
& honestly I sometimes think about giving up as well but I have SO MUCH to live for. I've been put down basically my entire life for my race, sexuality & just because. so I HAVE to be a fighter & defend myself. because in reality I'm all I've got.
I can be in a room full of people & still feel alone. I do have friends & some of them know my ENTIRE life story - including the years of abuse & sometimes ....just sometimes when they're not there is when I need them the most.
My friend had similar dreams to mine, he could sing & act but I will never see him or hear him again , & what hurts the most is he could have easilly been me. Easilly. When I was in high school I literally took moms gun to my head & pulled the trigger - that's when I decided seek God. & prayer works...worked a lot. & through it all I came out stronger than ever.
Model
The Matthew Ross
Posts: 2735
Tulsa, Oklahoma, US
wow... I needed to cry today. Helped release a LOT of tension. thanks
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Megan G wrote:
Yea, its mostly the emotional pain affecting me, but it feels like a thousand pounds just chillin on my chest. I also have really bad mood swings over the smallest stuff and I get so worked up that I feel like I'm drowning. And it feels like all of this just got worse ever since I got pregnant, so I don't know. Definitely need help though... Well everyone here can relate some how. I got "here" because many years ago a friend of mine from high school committed suicide. It didn't make sense to me that someone young, beautiful and seemingly with a wonderful life to look forward to would do that. She hide it well, and then one day she made the choice to end her life.
I was grief stricken, but I'm not one to hide my feelings, so I decided to do something in her honor, and that was to get training in crisis intervention. After the training, I answer the "hotline" for some time. I feel like I've been trained at "first aid" or emergency medicine when it comes to physiological crisis, but we all know here in this community thread that depression is not something you can just put a band aid on. I'm so glad that you understand that and are taking steps to help yourself. :::HUGS:::
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Kayelless wrote:
that's the reason I support this thread and why I've opened up about my own depression. It affects a lot of people and they need to see that they're not alone. They need to know someone does understand how they feel.
In our little MM community I see signs of depression in so many here. I want them to know it's okay and that they can get control of it and win the battle. Big hugs for the funky turtle man cos i know he's had a hard time lately!
![https://d21c.com/jinnytoo/cats/cat.hug.jpg]()
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
1 Matthew Ross wrote:
wow...
so some of us are more alike than we are different. I have too many things & so many dreams to live for , & those dreams & accomplishments will ALWAYS out weigh the small things...
always. Welcome to this wonderful thread! Welcome to a community who cares!
:::HUGS:::
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Kayelless wrote:
I know someone who is suffering from depression and it's really beating her up. The reason why is because she is more secure in embracing her pain than she is in challenging what it's about. I have to sympathize with her because she is dealing with a lot of issues.
It's not just depression, as she has a physical illness that causes her great pain and suffering. Then her father passed away and he was her life. Now that he is gone she has given up hope.
Now she tries to do things productive for herself - like modeling - but in the end she just goes around feeling sorry for herself looking for someone to make it better for her. She does understand that it really is up to her, but she doesn't want to do anything about it. Like I said, she would rather stay miserable than try to get better. She blames her disease (it's incurable - only treatable) which is a daily struggle for the reason she shouldn't feel better.
She has friends who understand that her frame of mind is half the battle and we try to give her support and work to encourage her. It's a tough fight because she pushes us to the limit with her constant "whoa is me" attitude and in frustration we might say the wrong thing. That's when she gets mad and pushes them out of her life.
I see a lot of myself in her. I've seen how I've hung close to my pain afraid to believe that it really will change and get better, so the experience has helped me. Still I worry for her. She needs help. She needs it badly. I worry that she will completely self-destruct if she doesn't change her current path.
I've tried to help her, but she pushed me away. Now I just have to stay in prayer for her. Kevin, You are doing your best! I understand it's hard to watch someone falling and not be able to do more to save them. I think I've gone through that ... too many times myself. There is always hope, but it's important to care for yourself as well.
I know that this young lady I'm concerned about now has a strong chance to recover from the depression she feels from her grief at losing her loved one. She can do something in his honor like getting involved in prevention campaigns against drunk driving. Too many young people die every day because of drunk driving. Although he has died, she will live on and should not suffer. I know that he wouldn't want her to go through the rest of her life in pain.
If someone does not want help, forcing them to get help will not be effective at all. Even though you know someone seriously needs help, go in with the attitude that it is their choice to get help, not yours.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
Patrick Walberg wrote:
Kevin, You are doing your best! I understand it's hard to watch someone falling and not be able to do more to save them. I think I've gone through that ... too many times myself. There is always hope, but it's important to care for yourself as well.
I know that this young lady I'm concerned about now has a strong chance to recover from the depression she feels from her grief at losing her loved one. She can do something in his honor like getting involved in prevention campaigns against drunk driving. Too many young people die every day because of drunk driving. Although he has died, she will live on and should not suffer. I know that he wouldn't want her to go through the rest of her life in pain.
If someone does not want help, forcing them to get help will not be effective at all. Even though you know someone seriously needs help, go in with the attitude that it is their choice to get help, not yours. yeah. I know. It just gets messed up when she's coming at me with all of this drama in her life and how bad she feels. It's against my nature to just sit there and listen to her whine about it. Especially over the internet. I try to bring something positive to the conversation, but..... doesn't always work.
Well it's done now so I don't have to worry about it. I just pray for her and let it go.
Model
Megan G
Posts: 2007
Parker, Colorado, US
I just talked to a psychiatrist. I was googling some in my area, and her website spoke volumes to me. She doesn't accept insurance, but she was willing to give me a rate of $100 per 50 minute session and she would want to meet twice a month. She seems really sweet and I think she would be able to help me. I have an appointment to meet with her on the 25th of this month.
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Dannielle Levan wrote:
Big hugs for the funky turtle man cos i know he's had a hard time lately!
![https://d21c.com/jinnytoo/cats/cat.hug.jpg]() Nice to see this thread is helping others!
Model
Caperucita Roja
Posts: 11545
London, England, United Kingdom
I'm going to come here because it's the only place where I feel I can just blurt this out, and not everyone will read it and become judgemental.
And I'm really not out for arsekissing here, I just want to get it out to prove my point.
I feel so fucking invisible on this site.
I mean I always felt invisible anywhere I went, sure I've got a lot of friends but I've never ever really been able to connect with anyone.
So I'm not good enough yet, ok... but everyone else seems to get remembered on here, everyone. And sure I'm not one of the SF2 girl crew, glitter doesn't particularly fascinate me tbh and I can't be bothered to talk about how great particular people are- but that's probably because I'm jealous.
As you can tell I don't have any hangups about just saying whatever's on my mind, and maybe that's why people have a problem getting close to me. I can't talk to them because I know I'll offend their sensitive souls and they can't talk to me because they know I will. I won't necessarily mean to, but damn if someone's doing something that I think is stupid then I just come out and tell them.
I never get a mention, I never get recognised. How can so many crappy models keep getting so many wonderful compliments and comments when there's me- not the best but not the crappiest, I don't get jack shit.
I don't get picked for casting calls, I don't seem to get the same opportunities as everyone else. It's probably my look right? Yeah I get it if it is. But someone needs to just fucking tell me if it is so I can stop wasting my time hoping for any sort of recognition with this.
Doesn't anyone else here wonder what the hell they're doing wasting their time with this when no matter how hard you try you are just a spec of dust in someone's living room?
That's how I fucking well feel.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Caperucita Roja wrote:
I'm going to come here because it's the only place where I feel I can just blurt this out, and not everyone will read it and become judgemental.
And I'm really not out for arsekissing here, I just want to get it out to prove my point.
I feel so fucking invisible on this site.
I mean I always felt invisible anywhere I went, sure I've got a lot of friends but I've never ever really been able to connect with anyone.
So I'm not good enough yet, ok... but everyone else seems to get remembered on here, everyone. And sure I'm not one of the SF2 girl crew, glitter doesn't particularly fascinate me tbh and I can't be bothered to talk about how great particular people are- but that's probably because I'm jealous.
As you can tell I don't have any hangups about just saying whatever's on my mind, and maybe that's why people have a problem getting close to me. I can't talk to them because I know I'll offend their sensitive souls and they can't talk to me because they know I will. I won't necessarily mean to, but damn if someone's doing something that I think is stupid then I just come out and tell them.
I never get a mention, I never get recognised. How can so many crappy models keep getting so many wonderful compliments and comments when there's me- not the best but not the crappiest, I don't get jack shit.
I don't get picked for casting calls, I don't seem to get the same opportunities as everyone else. It's probably my look right? Yeah I get it if it is. But someone needs to just fucking tell me if it is so I can stop wasting my time hoping for any sort of recognition with this.
Doesn't anyone else here wonder what the hell they're doing wasting their time with this when no matter how hard you try you are just a spec of dust in someone's living room?
That's how I fucking well feel. I feel the same way. Short of 1 or 2 people on here, I rarely even get responses to most of my posts.
Speck of dust....yeah that's me.
I try to treat everyone equal but don't feel like that sentiment gets returned. So I know exactly where you're coming from.
Hugzzzzzz. Hope it all gets better for you.
Model
Caperucita Roja
Posts: 11545
London, England, United Kingdom
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I feel the same way. Short of 1 or 2 people on here, I rarely even get responses to most of my posts.
Speck of dust....yeah that's me.
I try to treat everyone equal but don't feel like that sentiment gets returned. So I know exactly where you're coming from.
Hugzzzzzz. Hope it all gets better for you. Argh thankyou dude, but it won't.
I'm just not interesting enough.
I don't think I'll do any modeling when I'm in Milan, I think I'll give the whole shebang a break for a while.
Model
Caperucita Roja
Posts: 11545
London, England, United Kingdom
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Anyway you're not invisible, I've always admired you.
I bet you have lots of people who love and care about you too no?
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Caperucita Roja wrote:
Argh thankyou dude, but it won't.
I'm just not interesting enough.
I don't think I'll do any modeling when I'm in Milan, I think I'll give the whole shebang a break for a while. Caperucita Roja wrote:
Anyway you're not invisible, I've always admired you.
I bet you have lots of people who love and care about you too no? You are interesting enough. You've been in my favorites for awhile now. I think you're cool. You don't judge people. You respect people.
Lots of people? I think not so many, really. My own son who I've raised for the past 14 years (he's 16 now) wants to live with his mom whom he didn't even want to go visit 2 months ago. His reason? So his mom and her family can be there for his graduation from high school. Apparently he doesn't want me there.
And thank you for the kind words. My day is a bit brighter now.
|
Drinking and driving is not cool!
