Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Dannielle Levan wrote:
Love your new av 
i'm so exhausted, but so pumped! I got to do a fashion show last night, backstage and rehearsals as well as various other bits, it was amazing! It's pulled me up so much, i really needed it! YAAAY! Go, Dannielle! Woot Woot.
That makes my day and now I'm smiling. 
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Amanda Lentini wrote:
For some reason I'm ignored this thread...
I suffered a lot of misdiagnosis... I tried to kill myself for the first time when I was 12. From 12 to 20 there were about 15 to 18 attempts (some attempts were more of the whole let me climb over the railing and then get freaked out and climb back to safety... not every person counts those).
I was diagnosed with depression at 12. Spent 4 years in therapy before I was put on my first medication. Prozac... couldn't handle it. Zolfot was a lot better but I was taken off of that when at 18 my diagnosis was change to manic depression (Lamictal). When I tried to kill myself at 19 was added to Effexor XR which nearly killed me and I took myself off. The last attempt was with the Lamictal and at that point went back to therapy (when I was put on the Effexor my psychiatrist told me he felt therapy was worthless for my problem... he also tried to say that the fact my Effexor was causing me to bleed/bruise everywhere was a shitty reason to go off it).
Finally at 21 I was went to a psychologist at my school. They probably spent the first month just going over my history and determined I had PTSD and rape trauma syndrome (molested first at 10, molested and raped by boyfriend at 17, raped twice at 18, and basically pimped out at 20 by a guy I thought cared about me).
I still am in therapy... and not on any meds. I need to wait until I can get life insurance (Missouri doesn't insure people with history of suicide within past 5 years of medical history) and hopefully instead of being put on an anti-depressant can get a proper anti-anxiety such as Valium or Xanex.
Talking about this stuff over the internet or with just my therapist is much easier for me then in a support group. Mostly because the first (and only) support group I was in basically called me a liar because surely no person can go through all of that (especially with 2 of 3 rapes being done by people you don't know).
It caused me a lot of problems. My last boyfriend (outside of the guy I'm dating now who I honestly trust with my life) started emotionally and mentally abusive. About a month before I broke up with him (which included calling off an engagement) he started to do things like slam me into cars and buildings during fights... I knew it would get worse if I stayed with him. *HUGS*
Pull up a chair and have a seat. Join us all in our journey through life. We're all friends here. No judgments. You'll like us.
Much happiness to you.
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
YAAAY! Go, Dannielle! Woot Woot.
That makes my day and now I'm smiling. I can stop smiling. It was a perfect night. The organizers even got engaged!
Model
Jessyka Ann
Posts: 10660
Hyannis, Massachusetts, US
Amanda Lentini wrote:
Not at all. It's taken me 11 years of therapy to realize that I am not a worthless waste of space who destroys lives including my own and is never going to be worth anything but as a cum disposal to anyone. my bf is the first guy I have a physical and emotional relationship with. Everyone else pretended to love me...used me for sex and cheated on me.
Hes the first one to be there for me when I need someone to wipe away my tears...to tell me he loves me and kiss me with more love than I could possibly imagine...to deal with all the drama I have caused and that he has stayed with me for 2 years even though I push him away more times than I could possibly count...
he has driven me to therapy because he wants to see me get better and the fact that he has to live in a shelter for awhile is killing me.
Model
Amanda Lentini
Posts: 173
St Louis, Saskatchewan, Canada
Jessyka Ann wrote:
my bf is the first guy I have a physical and emotional relationship with. Everyone else pretended to love me...used me for sex and cheated on me.
Hes the first one to be there for me when I need someone to wipe away my tears...to tell me he loves me and kiss me with more love than I could possibly imagine...to deal with all the drama I have caused and that he has stayed with me for 2 years even though I push him away more times than I could possibly count...
he has driven me to therapy because he wants to see me get better and the fact that he has to live in a shelter for awhile is killing me. That's how things are with my current boyfriend.
Knowing that someone can love me the way he does is amazing.
Model
Little Alice
Posts: 3803
Chicago, Illinois, US
Jessyka Ann wrote:
my bf is the first guy I have a physical and emotional relationship with. Everyone else pretended to love me...used me for sex and cheated on me.
Hes the first one to be there for me when I need someone to wipe away my tears...to tell me he loves me and kiss me with more love than I could possibly imagine...to deal with all the drama I have caused and that he has stayed with me for 2 years even though I push him away more times than I could possibly count...
he has driven me to therapy because he wants to see me get better and the fact that he has to live in a shelter for awhile is killing me. I'm glad that you found someone who can really support you. It's so wonderful when you find someone who loves you for you, and not just certain parts of you. I hope that your boyfriend is able to be there for you soon (I'm not entirely sure what you meant by living in a shelter, but I assume he isn't there with you atm) we all need our rock, our shoulder to lean on.
Hug!
Model
Jessyka Ann
Posts: 10660
Hyannis, Massachusetts, US
Amanda Lentini wrote:
That's how things are with my current boyfriend.
Knowing that someone can love me the way he does is amazing. it really is
and the thought of losing him hurts so bad...the pain is incredible.
I cant sleep without him next to me every night. I wont be able to sleep for awhile.
Model
Jessyka Ann
Posts: 10660
Hyannis, Massachusetts, US
Little Alice wrote:
I'm glad that you found someone who can really support you. It's so wonderful when you find someone who loves you for you, and not just certain parts of you. I hope that your boyfriend is able to be there for you soon (I'm not entirely sure what you meant by living in a shelter, but I assume he isn't there with you atm) we all need our rock, our shoulder to lean on.
Hug! we got evicted and we have no where to go...
well..
I have my dads to go to...and he has to go to the shelter for vets in Boston.
Model
Little Alice
Posts: 3803
Chicago, Illinois, US
Jessyka Ann wrote:
we got evicted and we have no where to go...
well..
I have my dads to go to...and he has to go to the shelter for vets in Boston. Wow, that's really rough. I'm very sorry that I can't help you in that dept. I'm just a college kid in a college dorm, otherwise I would offer. I do know how it feels to be homeless though, I spent last Christmas homeless because my parents kicked me out. Thankfully my boyfriend's family took me in until my parents came to their senses (aka made me sign a fucking contract). I know how scar.y it is to not be sure of where you are going to be, so I wish you the very best in that someone shows you kindness.
Model
Jessyka Ann
Posts: 10660
Hyannis, Massachusetts, US
Little Alice wrote:
Wow, that's really rough. I'm very sorry that I can't help you in that dept. I'm just a college kid in a college dorm, otherwise I would offer. I do know how it feels to be homeless though, I spent last Christmas homeless because my parents kicked me out. Thankfully my boyfriend's family took me in until my parents came to their senses (aka made me sign a fucking contract). I know how scar.y it is to not be sure of where you are going to be, so I wish you the very best in that someone shows you kindness. not looking for offers. I just needed to vent.
Model
Cadence Rose
Posts: 2689
Greenfield, Massachusetts, US
Hey everyone, just checking in. So for the past couple months or so I've been considering going to therapy, I've even gone as far as going to talk to someone at my school and she recommended me a place nearby. But I haven't called them yet, I'm just waiting for the right time I guess. I hope everyone is doing well.
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Scottiie wrote:
I just feel like i'll never be good enough for anyone anymore .... my family, my friends, my profession. Am I the only one? =[ yup, I know the feeling all too well and ive had enough of it. Aug 3rd 2011, my 40th, im goin out with a bang lol
Model
Demonika Devour
Posts: 1903
Big Bear Lake, California, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
yup, I know the feeling all too well and ive had enough of it. Aug 3rd 2011, my 40th, im goin out with a bang lol Well that doesnt sound very positive.
Photographer
Mike Kelcher
Posts: 13322
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
sui·cide
Pronunciation: \Ësü-É-ËsÄ«d\
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin sui (genitive) of oneself + English -cide; akin to Old English & Old High German sīn his, Latin suus one's own, sed, se without, Sanskrit sva oneself, one's own.
Definition: A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Demonika Devour wrote:
Well that doesnt sound very positive. Ive had that date stuck in my head for a while now and im going to enjoy my time between now and then, doing then things I want to do
Photographer
Zachary Uram
Posts: 809
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Ive had that date stuck in my head for a while now and im going to enjoy my time between now and then, doing then things I want to do Please choose life. Pray and ask God to help you. Read the Bible. Go talk to a good pastor.
Photographer
Alexandria Georgiades
Posts: 26817
Sierra Vista, Arizona, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
yup, I know the feeling all too well and ive had enough of it. Aug 3rd 2011, my 40th, im goin out with a bang lol We don't have an expiration date stamped on our head. Please try not to think that way. We are here for you. We've all been in the same place and some of us are still struggling with it. I struggle with it every day and I'm on meds.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to the dentist because I'm so stressed that I grind my teeth until I finally cracked a tooth..it was so painful. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis in my hands and spine so I already live in pain. The pain from 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair came to feel like abuse. When the dentist was finished, I just went outside, sat in my truck and just cried. I can't take the physical or emotional pain of my life anymore, but I struggled through it.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
- Rose - wrote:
Hey everyone, just checking in. So for the past couple months or so I've been considering going to therapy, I've even gone as far as going to talk to someone at my school and she recommended me a place nearby. But I haven't called them yet, I'm just waiting for the right time I guess. I hope everyone is doing well. *HUGS*
You're doing the right thing, Rose. Best wishes.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
yup, I know the feeling all too well and ive had enough of it. Aug 3rd 2011, my 40th, im goin out with a bang lol I sincerely hope this means you're going to party your ass off and wake up the next day with a nasty hangover.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Ive had that date stuck in my head for a while now and im going to enjoy my time between now and then, doing then things I want to do Funny, I had my 40th stuck in my head since I was 12 years old. The day came and went with little fanfare. My son remembered (the little shit) and brought me a cake to remind me.
So, instead of eating lead that day, I ate birthday cake. You should do the same.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Taboo Nudes wrote:
We don't have an expiration date stamped on our head. Please try not to think that way. We are here for you. We've all been in the same place and some of us are still struggling with it. I struggle with it every day and I'm on meds.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to the dentist because I'm so stressed that I grind my teeth until I finally cracked a tooth..it was so painful. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis in my hands and spine so I already live in pain. The pain from 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair came to feel like abuse. When the dentist was finished, I just went outside, sat in my truck and just cried. I can't take the physical or emotional pain of my life anymore, but I struggled through it. Thank you for choosing life.
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Taboo Nudes wrote:
We don't have an expiration date stamped on our head. Please try not to think that way. We are here for you. We've all been in the same place and some of us are still struggling with it. I struggle with it every day and I'm on meds.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to the dentist because I'm so stressed that I grind my teeth until I finally cracked a tooth..it was so painful. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis in my hands and spine so I already live in pain. The pain from 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair came to feel like abuse. When the dentist was finished, I just went outside, sat in my truck and just cried. I can't take the physical or emotional pain of my life anymore, but I struggled through it. Ive chosen that date though and I did it a long time ago, and thing is, im not depressed about it, ive actually been in a better mood because of it if that makes sense. Everyone has heard the saying " Live each day like its your last" but thing is, noone really does it because of the responsibilities in their lives, whether it be their wife ( im single ) kids ( I have none ) other family ( my relationship with my family has dissolved to that of a casual friendship at best ) or their job ( I have a job, I have it just so I can fund the things I want to do, thats it ) Im pretty much in a spot where I can say " Fuck it, I want to go to the bahamas, im going to save up the money and go!" I dont have to worry about whether I have enough to retire one say, 401K, supporting someone else. Yeah im alright with this deal
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17716
San Diego Country Estates, California, US
Scottiie wrote:
I just feel like i'll never be good enough for anyone anymore .... my family, my friends, my profession. Am I the only one? =[ Scottsworld71 wrote:
yup, I know the feeling all too well and ive had enough of it. Aug 3rd 2011, my 40th, im goin out with a bang lol There are better solutions. Much, much better. See a therapist. Read "A Guide to Rational Living" by Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper. Look yourself in the eyes in a mirror and tell yourself that there's nothing wrong with living a life that's different from the one you planned. Say it until you believe it - you can tell by your eyes in the mirror.
There's always a second choice to suicide. Getting help is easy. Letting people help you is the hard part. Believing that things can change is nearly impossible - until it happens to you. And then you'll be amazed at how simple it was. Just a little switch in how you think, and maybe a couple of pills.
I don't promise a perfect life - no one has that and no one ever will. But a life you can be happy with is absolutely within reach.
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Ive chosen that date though and I did it a long time ago, and thing is, im not depressed about it, ive actually been in a better mood because of it if that makes sense. Everyone has heard the saying " Live each day like its your last" but thing is, noone really does it because of the responsibilities in their lives, whether it be their wife ( im single ) kids ( I have none ) other family ( my relationship with my family has dissolved to that of a casual friendship at best ) or their job ( I have a job, I have it just so I can fund the things I want to do, thats it ) Im pretty much in a spot where I can say " Fuck it, I want to go to the bahamas, im going to save up the money and go!" I dont have to worry about whether I have enough to retire one say, 401K, supporting someone else. Yeah im alright with this deal Life is a gift. Every new day offers new opportunities if you are open to them. As long as you have life, you have the opportunity to do things and go places. Things change so quickly from moment to moment and day to day that no one knows what could happen next. What if one gets help for their depression. What if one takes the chance on one more day. Suicide is a choice that you cannot reverse if you realize you are making a mistake.
You are not alone. Many can relate to you if you are open to it. I'm older than you. Also a single man with no wife or kids. My "job" is what I do right now. It is what I love doing, communicating online through my writing and photography. I've been homeless, jobless and without a car, but not all at the same time. I've survived and recovered from a few near death situations due to injury or health problems.
So far in my life time, I've found love that is lasting in friendships. But the greatest love of all is the love of myself. It's knowing that as long as I'm alive then I'm able to love life and reciprocate this wonderful gift of life that is full of opportunities. It takes effort to make a difference in someone elses life, but it is an effort well worth it!
So if you consider that life is the most precious gift you could ever receive, then why throw it away? Love and cherish your gift, and you will be loved and cherished back. Love is all that counts in life!
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Taboo Nudes wrote:
We don't have an expiration date stamped on our head. Please try not to think that way. We are here for you. We've all been in the same place and some of us are still struggling with it. I struggle with it every day and I'm on meds.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to the dentist because I'm so stressed that I grind my teeth until I finally cracked a tooth..it was so painful. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis in my hands and spine so I already live in pain. The pain from 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair came to feel like abuse. When the dentist was finished, I just went outside, sat in my truck and just cried. I can't take the physical or emotional pain of my life anymore, but I struggled through it. I feel for you! Sending you some BIG GENTLE CYBER HUGS!!!!
Keep in mind that pain is a temporary situation. Here is a friend of mine who suffers from fibromyalgia ... She is a singer, song writer, YsabellaBrave on Youtube is truely "Brave" as she is beautiful and talented. I can't take my eyes away, nor my ears ... as I never tire of her! She is talented and beautiful, yet lives everyday with the pain of fibromyalgia. Hope you are able to watch these and enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-SA0rztYc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjoQQD5XtKA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_MP_6ldeB4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKJ7eaDWsAk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS-F2ZYGty8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PEayH0EWQA
You are a talented and beautiful person too! I really enjoy your photography and am glad you posted on this wonderful thread. Best wishes to you in getting through the pain of sitting in the dentist chair. It takes a brave person to go through that pain! You've got more love to give as a result of surviving it!
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 45475
San Juan Bautista, California, US
Lawrence Guy wrote:
Scottiie wrote:
I just feel like i'll never be good enough for anyone anymore .... my family, my friends, my profession. Am I the only one? =[ There are better solutions. Much, much better. See a therapist. Read "A Guide to Rational Living" by Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper. Look yourself in the eyes in a mirror and tell yourself that there's nothing wrong with living a life that's different from the one you planned. Say it until you believe it - you can tell by your eyes in the mirror.
There's always a second choice to suicide. Getting help is easy. Letting people help you is the hard part. Believing that things can change is nearly impossible - until it happens to you. And then you'll be amazed at how simple it was. Just a little switch in how you think, and maybe a couple of pills.
I don't promise a perfect life - no one has that and no one ever will. But a life you can be happy with is absolutely within reach. QFT
Photographer
Alexandria Georgiades
Posts: 26817
Sierra Vista, Arizona, US
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Thank you for choosing life. You're welcome. I have to remind myself of how many people that love me I would hurt.
Photographer
Alexandria Georgiades
Posts: 26817
Sierra Vista, Arizona, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Ive chosen that date though and I did it a long time ago, and thing is, im not depressed about it, ive actually been in a better mood because of it if that makes sense. Everyone has heard the saying " Live each day like its your last" but thing is, noone really does it because of the responsibilities in their lives, whether it be their wife ( im single ) kids ( I have none ) other family ( my relationship with my family has dissolved to that of a casual friendship at best ) or their job ( I have a job, I have it just so I can fund the things I want to do, thats it ) Im pretty much in a spot where I can say " Fuck it, I want to go to the bahamas, im going to save up the money and go!" I dont have to worry about whether I have enough to retire one say, 401K, supporting someone else. Yeah im alright with this deal From everything you just revealed, it does sound like you are lonely. I know what loneliness is....you can be surrounded by people and still be lonely.
Sending you a genuine hug and love....
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Taboo Nudes wrote:
From everything you just revealed, it does sound like you are lonely. I know what loneliness is....you can be surrounded by people and still be lonely.
Sending you a genuine hug and love.... Thanks. Ive gotten used to my life and accepted it and really im not depressed over it like I used to be. I feel like ive finally decided to take control of it and do as I wish with it whether anyone feels its the right thing or not
Photographer
Alexandria Georgiades
Posts: 26817
Sierra Vista, Arizona, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Thanks. Ive gotten used to my life and accepted it and really im not depressed over it like I used to be. I feel like ive finally decided to take control of it and do as I wish with it whether anyone feels its the right thing or not And our reactions to our lives are the only things we really have control over.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
- Rose - wrote:
Hey everyone, just checking in. So for the past couple months or so I've been considering going to therapy, I've even gone as far as going to talk to someone at my school and she recommended me a place nearby. But I haven't called them yet, I'm just waiting for the right time I guess. I hope everyone is doing well. make that call. you'll be glad about it.
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17716
San Diego Country Estates, California, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Thanks. Ive gotten used to my life and accepted it and really im not depressed over it like I used to be. I feel like ive finally decided to take control of it and do as I wish with it whether anyone feels its the right thing or not Perhaps you can do a little experiment. You have two years to go until your deadline. During that time, consider the possibility that you have other choices, other ways of "taking control" of your life. Read the book "A Guide to Rational Living" (by Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper) as soon as possible. Consider what it says as fairly as you can. And then make an honest effort to see if you can apply those ideas to your own life. You might find that you can keep your depression at bay and still live a long, full life.
When I was in the hospital because I was nearly ready to end it all, the social worker asked me a very crucial question. "Is it really fair to you to end your own life before you have explored all the treatment options?"
An hour before he asked that question I was CERTAIN that I would kill myself within a week. They didn't let me; instead they kept me for five more days and a small team of psychiatrists, social workers, nurses, and SPAs did an amazing thing - they not only destroyed my certainty that I would kill myself, but they replaced it with the certainty that I would live, and live well.
I'm 37 years old. I'm a virgin. I'm unemployed. I live with my parents. Everything I wanted to be at this time in my life has failed to come to pass. But I'm happier than I've ever been, and I'm building a new life out of the rubble of my old one.
We don't have crystal balls. The only prophecy that will ever come true is the self-fulfilling kind. Take a chance and see if, maybe, you have alternatives to your choice. Or rather, take a chance and see if you can find a way to accept the alternatives, because there's always another choice.
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17716
San Diego Country Estates, California, US
- Rose - wrote:
Hey everyone, just checking in. So for the past couple months or so I've been considering going to therapy, I've even gone as far as going to talk to someone at my school and she recommended me a place nearby. But I haven't called them yet, I'm just waiting for the right time I guess. I hope everyone is doing well. The right time is immediately. Make the call - therapists are generally pretty cool people.
Photographer
Alexandria Georgiades
Posts: 26817
Sierra Vista, Arizona, US
- Rose - wrote:
Hey everyone, just checking in. So for the past couple months or so I've been considering going to therapy, I've even gone as far as going to talk to someone at my school and she recommended me a place nearby. But I haven't called them yet, I'm just waiting for the right time I guess. I hope everyone is doing well. Hi Rose
The right time is always now...make the call.
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Lawrence Guy wrote:
Perhaps you can do a little experiment. You have two years to go until your deadline. During that time, consider the possibility that you have other choices, other ways of "taking control" of your life. Read the book "A Guide to Rational Living" (by Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper) as soon as possible. Consider what it says as fairly as you can. And then make an honest effort to see if you can apply those ideas to your own life. You might find that you can keep your depression at bay and still live a long, full life.
When I was in the hospital because I was nearly ready to end it all, the social worker asked me a very crucial question. "Is it really fair to you to end your own life before you have explored all the treatment options?"
An hour before he asked that question I was CERTAIN that I would kill myself within a week. They didn't let me; instead they kept me for five more days and a small team of psychiatrists, social workers, nurses, and SPAs did an amazing thing - they not only destroyed my certainty that I would kill myself, but they replaced it with the certainty that I would live, and live well.
I'm 37 years old. I'm a virgin. I'm unemployed. I live with my parents. Everything I wanted to be at this time in my life has failed to come to pass. But I'm happier than I've ever been, and I'm building a new life out of the rubble of my old one.
We don't have crystal balls. The only prophecy that will ever come true is the self-fulfilling kind. Take a chance and see if, maybe, you have alternatives to your choice. Or rather, take a chance and see if you can find a way to accept the alternatives, because there's always another choice. Thing is, im NOT depressed, im actually enjoying myself! I dont spend my days dwelling on how horrible it all is, how unfair it is. nothing like that. Ive gotten PASSED that, I smile and laugh every day. I go to the gym every day, I go to work and enjoy the company of my co-workers. Im absolutely convinced that the path im on is the right one for me and its all good
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 25581
Tampa, Florida, US
Amanda Lentini wrote:
That's how things are with my current boyfriend.
Knowing that someone can love me the way he does is amazing. At this point in my life I will probably never know what that feeling will ever be like
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17716
San Diego Country Estates, California, US
Scottsworld71 wrote:
Thing is, im NOT depressed, im actually enjoying myself! I dont spend my days dwelling on how horrible it all is, how unfair it is. nothing like that. Ive gotten PASSED that, I smile and laugh every day. I go to the gym every day, I go to work and enjoy the company of my co-workers. Im absolutely convinced that the path im on is the right one for me and its all good If all that is true, please don't say it here. Advocating suicide to people who are depressed is simply irresponsible. People come here looking for help and you are setting a very harmful example. I will no longer debate whether you have made the right choice or not. I only ask that you don't cause harm to others. This thread is about avoiding suicide, not embracing it. Either seek an alternative to your choice or leave this thread. I do not mean to be impolite, but this is important. Your words can harm others who come here for help. I dearly hope you consider all that has been said.
Model
Natasha240
Posts: 6438
Cassina de' Pecchi, Lombardy, Italy
Could it be that I may actually get through this? I'm grieving, I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm emtionally drained and overwhelmed. Two years ago, I would have completely unraveled. A year ago, I would be at the very least back in a psychiatric hospital.
I have no idea how, but I think I'm going to get through all of this recent trauma ok. At least as of now, I think so. I'm kind of astounded to be honest. Me, someone who usually cannot cope very well with life in general, sitting here actually thinking "I can do this."
What does hurt, is that neither my "closest" friend, nor a SINGLE person from my job has sent a card, or offerened any condolences. Not a call, or a simple text. No offer from my best friend of 20 years to come here to be with me during this awful time. It really shows me who my friends are, and are not, and it hurts.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
Natasha240 wrote:
Could it be that I may actually get through this? I'm grieving, I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm emtionally drained and overwhelmed. Two years ago, I would have completely unraveled. A year ago, I would be at the very least back in a psychiatric hospital.
I have no idea how, but I think I'm going to get through all of this recent trauma ok. At least as of now, I think so. I'm kind of astounded to be honest. Me, someone who usually cannot cope very well with life in general, sitting here actually thinking "I can do this."
What does hurt, is that neither my "closest" friend, nor a SINGLE person from my job has sent a card, or offerened any condolences. Not a call, or a simple text. No offer from my best friend of 20 years to come here to be with me during this awful time. It really shows me who my friends are, and are not, and it hurts. I'm so glad to see the power of your spirit breaking through and allowing you to be the beautiful person that you are.
and about these friends and associates...... *sigh* i dunno what to say.. it is hurtful
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