Kayelless wrote:
There is a difference between feeling sad or down over "life situations" and suffering from depression.  Not to come off as uncaring or inconsiderate , but sometimes I see people posting here with a list of "what's wrong with their lives" pointing to these issues as to why they should feel depressed. I'd like to point out that one needs to be mindful of what we are dealing with here.

There is a real mental illness of depression that causes many problems for those of us who do suffer from it. In many cases we have trouble negotiating just the standard life's routines let alone overcome any special issues.

I'm pointing this out because it would be wrong for someone to use depression as an easy excuse to not take on "life situations" head up. It's much more serious than that.

So I do encourage those who find that dealing with these "life situations" depressing to take a close examination at how you're dealing with them. I can tell you from personal experience that when struggling through depressed "lows" even the positives and good motivations can be huge tasks to work.

As a person who has seen the damage that depression can do to one's life I want to let you know that I don't regard this thread and my role here as someone to sympathize with anyone who feels the need to whine about their life situations. I'm not here for that and I won't support you that way. I'm here to let those who are struggling with depression know that I am someone who is struggling just like they are, but is fighting back and has found ways to win my battle against depression.

I'm here to help others win their battles. I know the first step is addressing the issues, but I'm here to help you take them on and win in the battle against depression.

Well said. I had a real piece of crap land in my lap today, but I didn't let it change my mood. I've been feeling OK lately, though I've been getting that "tingling feeling" the past few days that tells me I'm heading for a low period.

Life sucks. The alternative sucks worse. I'll take the lesser of the two evils for now.

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Dropping in to say hai.  /wave

Had a weird night.  Didn't get my groceries done cos the mall's emergency alarm went off before we were done and everyone had to evacuate O.O

OH, now that sucks.

Everything OK there? Or false alarm?

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

You are with people who like you for who you are in here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I don't want to appear to give an unsolicited critique, but I will say that I see you as a blank canvas waiting to be painted up with a photographer's ideas to create something amazing. I'm impressed.

Thank you i appreciate it its just sometimes look in the mirror ask myself did i did something wrong?? vegas it is not for me sometimes when i think the past i wish i lived in sacramento despite or having couple jobs i know everyone likes me for who i am i moved alot but nothing feels home like sacramento i do hope when i moved in FL i would like to be feel HOME be with everyone likes me my mother in law she loves loves my photos from photoshoot and how she make me feel special(ahh im crying again)  yes i do feel im blank canvas just waiting to be painted create something amazing art.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

OH, now that sucks.

Everything OK there? Or false alarm?

Nooo idea.  We asked today when we went back but the staff didn't know.  I assume it was a small fire cos there were like 3 fire engines coming in as we drove out.  Looked fine today though.

Crazybeautiful Surf_Grl wrote:

Thank you i appreciate it its just sometimes look in the mirror ask myself did i did something wrong?? vegas it is not for me sometimes when i think the past i wish i lived in sacramento despite or having couple jobs i know everyone likes me for who i am i moved alot but nothing feels home like sacramento i do hope when i moved in FL i would like to be feel HOME be with everyone likes me my mother in law she loves loves my photos from photoshoot and how she make me feel special(ahh im crying again)  yes i do feel im blank canvas just waiting to be painted create something amazing art.

It'll work out. Give it some time.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I look like Fifi. Cool. I'm HAWT!!!!! Look at my damn schmexxy self, would ya?

*blushing*
uh, yeah... I had to fix a couple of coding errors. you ain't hawt anymore.

Dude, after the hacker attack I had to rebuild all my material adjusting it to fit my new theme (whichithinklooksquitenicethankyouverymuch) and just after I got that all together WordPress comes out with the latest update.  Well, I always try to keep the current version so I updated and promptly crashed my site again. After receiving help from my web host it was pointed out to me that I was using too many plug-ins and was strongly suggested that I reduce the number to ten. Aaack! Ten? How could I create so much coolness utilizing only ten plug-ins? I made it work with ten, but cheated and added a few more anyway... we'll see how that does.
Anyways we're back.

I need to add Danielle's site & blog to my links.

Remember, gang, we support each other to help each other fight to win.

Kayelless wrote:

*blushing*
uh, yeah... I had to fix a couple of coding errors. you ain't hawt anymore.

Dude, after the hacker attack I had to rebuild all my material adjusting it to fit my new theme (whichithinklooksquitenicethankyouverymuch) and just after I got that all together WordPress comes out with the latest update.  Well, I always try to keep the current version so I updated and promptly crashed my site again. After receiving help from my web host it was pointed out to me that I was using too many plug-ins and was strongly suggested that I reduce the number to ten. Aaack! Ten? How could I create so much coolness utilizing only ten plug-ins? I made it work with ten, but cheated and added a few more anyway... we'll see how that does.
Anyways we're back.

I need to add Danielle's site & blog to my links.

Remember, gang, we support each other to help each other fight to win.

Oh, durn. I wanna be hawt again. Fifi won't mind...especially if you don't tell her.

Glad ya got it all fixed up. Lookin' good.

Moudy Fayed wrote:
Just wondering, what happens to be people who have been either raped or abused and don't go to talk to someone about it? Or get help for that matter?

from experience it has led to social issue for me.

Roxy Mae  NFB wrote:

from experience it has led to social issue for me.

so how're you dealing now?

Roxy Mae  NFB wrote:
from experience it has led to social issue for me.

Same here.  I'm petrified of males the same age range as me now.

Kayalless:  Added you to my blogroll as well

Natasha240 wrote:
The bad is always so much worse than the good can ever be. There is so much pain and suffering in the world every single day, so many atrocities, so much evil. I feel like I'm absorbing it. The bad far outweighs the good, always. Enough of the goddamned platitudes. They don't cut it. It's only a matter of time.

I feel the same way. I just don't want to give up yet. I feel like I'm an empathetic sponge. It's gonna get worse.

Natasha240 wrote:
The bad is always so much worse than the good can ever be. There is so much pain and suffering in the world every single day, so many atrocities, so much evil. I feel like I'm absorbing it. The bad far outweighs the good, always. Enough of the goddamned platitudes. They don't cut it. It's only a matter of time.

I don't believe that and if I did I would have ended my life years ago. I stand before now as a living example that the good does outweigh the bad, but you have to believe it yourself and reach for it.

Here's an example of what I mean. You'll never get that bottle of shampoo off the shelf in the store if you don't reach for it. You'll will forever be washing your hair with only water until you do. So to get there you've got to reach for it.

The pain and suffering from this world seems so overwhelming, but really those are just multiple CGI's. Everybody here is in this world for a purpose and that purpose is a good thing.

Shelby Jane wrote:
Just succeeded in making myself miserable. I had a couple awful ideas as to what to do with the day, but I think the best idea is for me to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep.

First time I've said it in a while. Unfortunately, I really hate myself at the moment.

*huggs*

Shelby Jane wrote:
Just succeeded in making myself miserable. I had a couple awful ideas as to what to do with the day, but I think the best idea is for me to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep.

First time I've said it in a while. Unfortunately, I really hate myself at the moment.

I love you. So, now you have at least one person who will admit that. That's something, right? It's a start.

Shelby Jane wrote:
Just succeeded in making myself miserable. I had a couple awful ideas as to what to do with the day, but I think the best idea is for me to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep.

First time I've said it in a while. Unfortunately, I really hate myself at the moment.

Kinda off subject, but i love your avatar.  It's much different from the other stuff that's usually in avatar pics.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I feel the same way. I just don't want to give up yet. I feel like I'm an empathetic sponge. It's gonna get worse.

Yes! It's awful.

Kayelless wrote:

I don't believe that and if I did I would have ended my life years ago. I stand before now as a living example that the good does outweigh the bad, but you have to believe it yourself and reach for it.

Here's an example of what I mean. You'll never get that bottle of shampoo off the shelf in the store if you don't reach for it. You'll will forever be washing your hair with only water until you do. So to get there you've got to reach for it.

The pain and suffering from this world seems so overwhelming, but really those are just multiple CGI's. Everybody here is in this world for a purpose and that purpose is a good thing.

Kevin, I have no idea what you are saying.

Sanguine Jackal wrote:
I'm not sure if I am technically "depressed". Bipolar may be a more accurate description, gotta ask my therapist. Anyways, lately I've been acting strangely... even I notice it. I don't like it. I'm snappy, I overthink things (even more than usual!), and swing between "My life is crap but that's OK, I can make it better", to "Fuck it all, what's the point, everything I do is useless or not good enough". I'm under a lot of pressure and I already worry a lot (a result of overthinking) but it's to the point it's interfering with my work and even my leisure time. I don't have fun playing video games anymore, at least not most of the time, and my shortness of temper has me losing my cool with customers at work, or else signing off/clocking off the phones so as to avoid going off on them. I work at a callcenter; one of the first things they taught us was never to take anything personally but lately I've let some calls get to me. my aunt (a supervisor) caught me crying in the breakroom after an unusually frustrating call (it wasn't even the worst I'd had).

I'm not sure how to approach my therapist to ask for a professional diagnosis, but he has been asking me about my moodswings lately. They've gotten much, much worse.

Have you tried meditation? It has been very effective for me when I am going through the swings you are. Definitely talk to your therapist but keep this in mind and ask your therapist if he/she thinks it may do some good.

For me, it calms all those wild, random thoughts running through my head. Clears out my mind. Keeps me focused on what's important.

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Kinda off subject, but i love your avatar.  It's much different from the other stuff that's usually in avatar pics.

And I love YOU.

I love everyone here

I'm feeling better. I antagonised a situation to a very horrible point, so on top of that drama I was feeling guilty. Today started out bad as well, but I fixed it up for the most part.
I think my health is really affecting me I'm hoping to make a trip to the doctor tomorrow if I'm not feeling better.

Hugs to everyone here!

C Russell Photography wrote:
Sometimes it seems that when all is lost and dark, one can just go to bed, and maybe just maybe the next morning will bring about that sunshine that makes everything alright. This is not an outcry for help, this is not a farewell, this is simply how I feel. I'm tired, really tired, and not for lack of sleep. I am disgusted with people as a whole, how people treat other people, the lies, the hurt, the agony. One could argue that if jesus were real, it was not for our sins he died, but to get away from the wretched people here as a whole. A few good people are not able to change the world, just like what works for one person to bring yourself out of the dark, will not work for someone else. I don't want opinions, I don't want suggestions, I am not you, and if such things were able to work for me, then I would not even be writing this, excuse me, typing this.

   Does it make me suicidal to simply want to go to sleep and n'er wake up? No. I'm not a slasher, a pill popper, or whatever other means there are. I would just like to naturally cease to be. My suffering does not make for a better person down the road, it makes me bitter, it makes me angry, and makes me hate. There is no focus for these things, no outlet, I do not talk to people because people suck, people do not listen, people do not hold any solution. So you say, don't talk to people, talk to an individual, well if I actually had friends here where I live, then perhaps I wouldn't feel so isolated, so alienated. I honestly don't believe there is such a thing as a real friend. Maybe you have them, but I don't.

   I'm tired of helping others, I'm tired of bringing happiness and smiles and what have you to others, I'm tired of being unselfish, I'm tired of being a nice guy. I am tired of making an effort, only to have others not appreciate it. I am tired of people arguing o'er religion, about who is right, who is saved and who is not, from the baptist, the catholic, the muslim, the non believer, no matter what religion or anti-religion, you as a whole are to blame, with your childish bickering, all of you guilty. To the people who are in a position to help others greatly, but squander their position, the politicians, the doctors, all of the people who should be doing more, you are guilty, to the countries that stick their nose where it doesn't belong, which one might say is every country, you are guilty, worry about your own people before you worry about some other land.  Do you really think that a few good people can change the world, turn on the news, look out of your window, your neighbours, your peers, your coworkers, your flesh and blood, who knows, each and every one of you are responsible for the shape this world is in.

   You wonder why people kill themselves? Because the one small voice is always drowned out by the bickering, the cruelty, the hatefulness of people as a whole.
I am tired of having to keep my feelings, my hurt, my pain inside, I am tired of not being able to trust, not having family to turn to, not having true friends. Don't argue with me about negativity this, negativity that, I do not choose to be like this. I want to smile, I like to smile, I like to love, and need, and want. I will not make the most of the situation, I deserved better from the start, I can not change this, the more I keep to myself, the harder it is to open up. No one person is capable of handling what I am feeling, not because my pain is unique, but because it has built up and up and up, because there is no one to turn to. I do not want to reach out to someone that is being paid to do so, there is no compassion and friendship there, there is no love, there is nothing there except a times up, see you next week, oh here's a prescription. I do not want someone telling me that all my problems are to be solved by a magic bottle of pills. It does not work that way for me.

   It doesn't matter what I say here, this is just going to eventually be forgotten, just some rant by someone having a bad day, well I have a name, I deserve better, and it's a losing battle, Life is not supposed to be a constant struggle all the time, I refuse to accept that, and oh if I could I would so love to go to sleep and n'er wake up, because then I am not a part of the problem. There is beauty in this world, I have seen it, there are beautiful people in this world, I have known them, but all things come to an end, a rose can not bloom one more day than nature intends, a smile does not last longer than it should, a broken heart will n'er mend when there is no one worthy of mending it. Don't just tell the depressed person to buck up, chin up, and all of that rubbish, do not tell them to try harder, try looking at yourself and follow your own advice, set an example, give a reason to believe things will be better, don't just say it. Every single person in this world should be ashamed, myself included. What's one small voice? What's one less person? Remember that voice comes from that person, and deserves to be heard.

You have a name and your are a person.  You are lovable inside and out.

You have a purpose in this life....and you are hear expressing your feelings.  You are a beautiful person...that has much to give...you don't understand on how much you can give.

You are a kind and loving person and we all love you and your heart.

Your heart means more than anything to me and I want to say that I love you as an individual and I want you to be happy.

Model Instincts wrote:

You have a name and your are a person.  You are lovable inside and out.

You have a purpose in this life....and you are hear expressing your feelings.  You are a beautiful person...that has much to give...you don't understand on how much you can give.

it's always give give give, I am tired of giving, I deserve something in return, I deserve real friends, I deserve things that to most are just a given, I am not wanting fame and fortune handed to me on a silver platter, I deserve the things that every person deserves. Someone that is there, someone that loves me, and someone that misses me, someone that wants to be a real friend, go out and do things, hang out. I am tired of being taken for granted. Complaining, ranting etc etc does nothing, I am still in the same boat so to speak, all I want is a break from all this rowing.

C Russell Photography wrote:
it's always give give give, I am tired of giving, I deserve something in return, I deserve real friends, I deserve things that to most are just a given, I am not wanting fame and fortune handed to me on a silver platter, I deserve the things that every person deserves. Someone that is there, someone that loves me, and someone that misses me, someone that wants to be a real friend, go out and do things, hang out. I am tired of being taken for granted. Complaining, ranting etc etc does nothing, I am still in the same boat so to speak, all I want is a break from all this rowing.

You don't have to give anything.

I don't know you...but if you could think about your friends and loved ones, you mean the world to them.  They LOVE you...and they want you to be safe and sound.

Don't hurt yourself, your friends and your family LOVE you.  And I love you...don't hurt yourself.

You mean the world to your friends and family.

Please respect your loved ones by getting help...I am so fucked up after my father committed suicide.

You are talented and you have alot to live for.  If you leave your family, you are selfishishly leaving your family behind.

Today you are depressed, you're feeling bad right now...give it a little time...tomorrow is a new day.  You will feel better tomorrow.

Everyone goes through this shit...go to sleep...tomorrow is a NEW DAY...and be glad that you have it.  Don't EVER GIVE UP.

Your not the only one that has been jerked around....I value my life...I've been jerked around too.  I will not let the people who do not have a conscious rule my life....I am somebody...and YOU are somebody.

YOU matter and I matter so think about how you are feeling.  I will be your friend.  You have a friend...if you need me, I'm here for you.

Model Instincts wrote:

You don't have to give anything.

I don't know you...but if you could think about your friends and loved ones, you mean the world to them.  They LOVE you...and they want you to be safe and sound.

Don't hurt yourself, your friends and your family LOVE you.  And I love you...don't hurt yourself.

You mean the world to your friends and family.

Please respect your loved ones by getting help...I am so fucked up after my father committed suicide.

I don't have family anymore, I don't have people here I consider friends, I can count on one hand how many people are close to being friends, but they are people I have n'er met, so what bond or connection is really there. I didn't say anything about hurting myself, just that I would like to simply cease to be, as in of natural causes. I am pretty darn isolated for someone my age, which is 33, I don't have any lifelong friends from childhood, I don't have a s/o I don't have anyone that would miss me for more than five minutes if I were not here. It would be much easier if I didn't know what it was like to have a friend, to have someone that loves me, if I n'er knew, then how could I miss it or long for it. There was someone recently that used to make me feel full of life, just because I would wake up and see g'morning messages from them, and now they've stopped. I still chat with them, but it's not the same anymore. I am tired of being disappointed by people.

C Russell Photography wrote:
I don't have family anymore, I don't have people here I consider friends, I can count on one hand how many people are close to being friends, but they are people I have n'er met, so what bond or connection is really there. I didn't say anything about hurting myself, just that I would like to simply cease to be, as in of natural causes. I am pretty darn isolated for someone my age, which is 33, I don't have any lifelong friends from childhood, I don't have a s/o I don't have anyone that would miss me for more than five minutes if I were not here. It would be much easier if I didn't know what it was like to have a friend, to have someone that loves me, if I n'er knew, then how could I miss it or long for it. There was someone recently that used to make me feel full of life, just because I would wake up and see g'morning messages from them, and now they've stopped. I still chat with them, but it's not the same anymore. I am tired of being disappointed by people.

I AM YOUR FRIEND.  You are not alone in the world.

You have people that love you.  Love ain't dead yet.

Hurt's and pains...I have come from that.

I am here, my mother is here...I will listen and so will my mother.

PM me and my mother will call you.

Model Instincts wrote:

I AM YOUR FRIEND.  You are not alone in the world.

You have people that love you.  Love ain't dead yet.

Hurt's and pains...I have come from that.

I am hear, my mother is here...I will listen and so will my mother.

PM me and my mother will call you.

My cell is turned off because I can not afford to pay the bill when I said I was isolated I meant it. The only reason I have internet is because I have a room mate who pays the bills when I am unable to. Everything was great up until this past december, that is when it all went to hell. I do not have a mum, or a da, or anyone to go and see here. I'm going to bed, maybe it will be a better day on the morrow, maybe not, like I said I am not suicidal, but if something happened to me naturally, then what loss? I am unable to make my mark in this world because hope is the thing that exists for the people that deserve it not, the people who take things for granted, and squander opportunities. Why can't life be an entity, that way there would be someone to blame and someone to pay for the unjust situations so many find themselves in, not of their own doing, but because the world is fucked.

C Russell Photography wrote:
My cell is turned off because I can not afford to pay the bill when I said I was isolated I meant it. The only reason I have internet is because I have a room mate who pays the bills when I am unable to. Everything was great up until this past december, that is when it all went to hell. I do not have a mum, or a da, or anyone to go and see here. I'm going to bed, maybe it will be a better day on the morrow, maybe not, like I said I am not suicidal, but if something happened to me naturally, then what loss? I am unable to make my mark in this world because hope is the thing that exists for the people that deserve it not, the people who take things for granted, and squander opportunities. Why can't life be an entity, that way there would be someone to blame and someone to pay for the unjust situations so many find themselves in, not of their own doing, but because the world is fucked.

You really freaked me out...and that was unfair.  I really care about your wellbeing.

Shelby Jane wrote:

And I love YOU.

I love everyone here

I'm feeling better. I antagonised a situation to a very horrible point, so on top of that drama I was feeling guilty. Today started out bad as well, but I fixed it up for the most part.
I think my health is really affecting me I'm hoping to make a trip to the doctor tomorrow if I'm not feeling better.

Hugs to everyone here!

YAAAAAAY Hugs back.

C Russell Photography wrote:
Sometimes it seems that when all is lost and dark, one can just go to bed, and maybe just maybe the next morning will bring about that sunshine that makes everything alright. This is not an outcry for help, this is not a farewell, this is simply how I feel. I'm tired, really tired, and not for lack of sleep. I am disgusted with people as a whole, how people treat other people, the lies, the hurt, the agony. One could argue that if jesus were real, it was not for our sins he died, but to get away from the wretched people here as a whole. A few good people are not able to change the world, just like what works for one person to bring yourself out of the dark, will not work for someone else. I don't want opinions, I don't want suggestions, I am not you, and if such things were able to work for me, then I would not even be writing this, excuse me, typing this.

   Does it make me suicidal to simply want to go to sleep and n'er wake up? No. I'm not a slasher, a pill popper, or whatever other means there are. I would just like to naturally cease to be. My suffering does not make for a better person down the road, it makes me bitter, it makes me angry, and makes me hate. There is no focus for these things, no outlet, I do not talk to people because people suck, people do not listen, people do not hold any solution. So you say, don't talk to people, talk to an individual, well if I actually had friends here where I live, then perhaps I wouldn't feel so isolated, so alienated. I honestly don't believe there is such a thing as a real friend. Maybe you have them, but I don't.

   I'm tired of helping others, I'm tired of bringing happiness and smiles and what have you to others, I'm tired of being unselfish, I'm tired of being a nice guy. I am tired of making an effort, only to have others not appreciate it. I am tired of people arguing o'er religion, about who is right, who is saved and who is not, from the baptist, the catholic, the muslim, the non believer, no matter what religion or anti-religion, you as a whole are to blame, with your childish bickering, all of you guilty. To the people who are in a position to help others greatly, but squander their position, the politicians, the doctors, all of the people who should be doing more, you are guilty, to the countries that stick their nose where it doesn't belong, which one might say is every country, you are guilty, worry about your own people before you worry about some other land.  Do you really think that a few good people can change the world, turn on the news, look out of your window, your neighbours, your peers, your coworkers, your flesh and blood, who knows, each and every one of you are responsible for the shape this world is in.

   You wonder why people kill themselves? Because the one small voice is always drowned out by the bickering, the cruelty, the hatefulness of people as a whole.
I am tired of having to keep my feelings, my hurt, my pain inside, I am tired of not being able to trust, not having family to turn to, not having true friends. Don't argue with me about negativity this, negativity that, I do not choose to be like this. I want to smile, I like to smile, I like to love, and need, and want. I will not make the most of the situation, I deserved better from the start, I can not change this, the more I keep to myself, the harder it is to open up. No one person is capable of handling what I am feeling, not because my pain is unique, but because it has built up and up and up, because there is no one to turn to. I do not want to reach out to someone that is being paid to do so, there is no compassion and friendship there, there is no love, there is nothing there except a times up, see you next week, oh here's a prescription. I do not want someone telling me that all my problems are to be solved by a magic bottle of pills. It does not work that way for me.

   It doesn't matter what I say here, this is just going to eventually be forgotten, just some rant by someone having a bad day, well I have a name, I deserve better, and it's a losing battle, Life is not supposed to be a constant struggle all the time, I refuse to accept that, and oh if I could I would so love to go to sleep and n'er wake up, because then I am not a part of the problem. There is beauty in this world, I have seen it, there are beautiful people in this world, I have known them, but all things come to an end, a rose can not bloom one more day than nature intends, a smile does not last longer than it should, a broken heart will n'er mend when there is no one worthy of mending it. Don't just tell the depressed person to buck up, chin up, and all of that rubbish, do not tell them to try harder, try looking at yourself and follow your own advice, set an example, give a reason to believe things will be better, don't just say it. Every single person in this world should be ashamed, myself included. What's one small voice? What's one less person? Remember that voice comes from that person, and deserves to be heard.

Other than the parts inside the []'s this could be me writing this. I've felt this same exact way for years. The world holds too much negativity. People thrive on it. It has to go somewhere. Why are these "reality shows" so popular on TV anymore. Drama, conflict, negativity. People love to see others suffer. It makes their own lives seem that much better.

I won't tell you how to live your life, what you should try, what you should do. I'll just ask that you don't give in to it.

C Russell Photography wrote:

I don't have family anymore, I don't have people here I consider friends, I can count on one hand how many people are close to being friends, but they are people I have n'er met, so what bond or connection is really there. I didn't say anything about hurting myself, just that I would like to simply cease to be, as in of natural causes. I am pretty darn isolated for someone my age, which is 33, I don't have any lifelong friends from childhood, I don't have a s/o I don't have anyone that would miss me for more than five minutes if I were not here. It would be much easier if I didn't know what it was like to have a friend, to have someone that loves me, if I n'er knew, then how could I miss it or long for it. There was someone recently that used to make me feel full of life, just because I would wake up and see g'morning messages from them, and now they've stopped. I still chat with them, but it's not the same anymore. I am tired of being disappointed by people.

Again, this could be me writing this. I've been like you describe here for the past 15+ years. I'm 40 now. No one in my life. I can count on one hand the number of dates I've had in the past 15 years. Friends? None around here that I hang out with.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Have you tried meditation? It has been very effective for me when I am going through the swings you are. Definitely talk to your therapist but keep this in mind and ask your therapist if he/she thinks it may do some good.

For me, it calms all those wild, random thoughts running through my head. Clears out my mind. Keeps me focused on what's important.

I've tried it to no avail. I can't ever seem to properly empty my head, so to speak.

However, I have hopes that moving into my own apartment will do me some serious good- and give me the time and space to do some yoga while listening to relax music.

I read a trick on meditation involving focusing only on your upper lip. Never quite worked.

Sanguine Jackal wrote:

I've tried it to no avail. I can't ever seem to properly empty my head, so to speak.

However, I have hopes that moving into my own apartment will do me some serious good- and give me the time and space to do some yoga while listening to relax music.

I read a trick on meditation involving focusing only on your upper lip. Never quite worked.

The one trick that worked for me is when I have a thought come into my head, I just kinda...let it go. Unfocus on it.

As I'm getting down into "the zone" I just slowly relax the part of my body that feels most tense and my focus is only on that part. Once there is nothing left to relax, my thoughts trail off.

I hope the new apt does wonders for you. It'll certainly give you the space and privacy necessary to do Yoga and relaxation exercises. Good luck!