Lawrence Guy wrote:

Maybe we could contact site management and get ownership of the OP transferred to an active member.  It's probably just a database field.

I tried asking about that. The only thing they can do, so I was told, is to make the second poster in the thread the OP if he/she agrees to it.

I'm sure there is a way to do it in the database, though...if they really wanted to get one of their techies on it. It's worth a shot, though.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I certainly hope all works out for you, Stacey. In the meantime, maybe you can take this as an opportunity to try out something else to make money. Something maybe you've always wanted to do or something you really enjoy that has potential.

Lots of hugs to you. Best luck.

I always believe my photography has 'potential' to be something good, but I really want to delve into wedding photography.. I know its hard work and what not but then again nothing that isn't worthwhile is 'easy'

I just need to work my sweet ass off to get to that standard, if i'm truly capable of it.

Other than that i'm not sure what else would make me money quick apart from escorting

j/k

Stacey Valli wrote:

I always believe my photography has 'potential' to be something good, but I really want to delve into wedding photography.. I know its hard work and what not but then again nothing that isn't worthwhile is 'easy'

I just need to work my sweet ass off to get to that standard, if i'm truly capable of it.

Other than that i'm not sure what else would make me money quick apart from escorting

j/k

Hey, we should team up!  The only kind of photography I DON'T want to do is wedding photography!

Stacey Valli wrote:

I always believe my photography has 'potential' to be something good, but I really want to delve into wedding photography.. I know its hard work and what not but then again nothing that isn't worthwhile is 'easy'

I just need to work my sweet ass off to get to that standard, if i'm truly capable of it.

Other than that i'm not sure what else would make me money quick apart from escorting

j/k

Well, ummm.....as much as the escorting thing sounds intriguing, I'm getting the hint it isn't really what you want to do.

It's like they say, anything worth it is worth working for. Give it a try. See what happens. You might find your calling.

La Bella Durmiente wrote:
What the fuck do I have going for me anyway?

You're a living, breathing human being with a brain that has evolved over millions of years to become a better problem-solver.  You have initiative, you have dreams, and you have the capability to act on them.  What's stopping you is that you're boxing yourself in with artificial walls.

Don't think to yourself "it's absolutely AWFUL that my parents are getting divorced," or "it is a complete DISASTER that I'm not doing well in school."  Instead think "it sucks that my parents are getting divorced, but it's not the end of the world," and "it would be nice if I were doing better at school, but plenty of people lead successful lives without academic degrees."

Don't forecast the future to be terrible - "I'm going to have an awful birthday."

In general, avoid the pitfall of MUSTURBATION - saying that things MUST be a certain way or you'll be absolutely MISERABLE!  Replace those thoughts with new ones - "it would be NICE if things were a certain way, but it won't be the end of the world if they aren't."

Life very rarely gives you exactly what you want.  Allow yourself to settle for less.

*hugs*

La Bella Durmiente wrote:
Ugh I hate birthdays so much. And this one's going to be shite as usual...

I turn 20 on Sunday and my boyfriend is working all day and my family are all too far away to visit.

This will probably be the last birthday I have where my parents are together. I've just watched Mrs Doubtfire totally forgetting what it was actually about and now it's reminded me and I've gone a big blubbery one...

"You know some parents, when they're angry, they get along much better when they don't live together. They don't fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don't dear. And if they don't, don't blame yourself. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean that they don't love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever."

This time next year I'll probably be visiting my mother and her 28 year old lover.

I'll be taking care of my brothers...

Fuck I'm really not looking forward to the next year. I have no idea how I'm going to cope. I feel entirely alone.

I'm failing university, I've not got many friends here and soon I'll have no family. Plus my modeling isn't going so great.

What the fuck do I have going for me anyway?

Hugs. Hugs. And more hugs. And when those are done, even more hugs for you.

I'll bet if you step back and take a look at yourself without any prejudice, you'll see that you have a lot going for you in life. Sometimes we just can't see what we have because we're too busy focusing on what we don't have.

Forge ahead. Don't let life stop you from living. Open up, be yourself, and most of all enjoy who you are.

Shelby Jane wrote:
It's getting harder and harder for me to feel like I fit in. I don't feel like I fit in with myself. I keep losing track of time, and every time I think I feel one way about something, the next I'll feel the complete opposite.
I'm pissed all the time, or I'm crying all the time. The hatred I have for my boyfriend's good friend (and my exbestfriend/worst enemy) is continuing to poison how I feel about a lot of things.

Honestly, I'm just slipping

Hot chocolate...with marshmallows.

Did you smile when you read that? Did you temporarily, even for the briefest of moments, forget about everything that's bringing you down? Find your "hot chocolate with marshmallows" and hold onto it. The only thing in the world is you and your cup 'o HCWM.

Lotsa hugs and love to you.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Hot chocolate...with marshmallows.

Did you smile when you read that? Did you temporarily, even for the briefest of moments, forget about everything that's bringing you down? Find your "hot chocolate with marshmallows" and hold onto it. The only thing in the world is you and your cup 'o HCWM.

Lotsa hugs and love to you.

I'll figure it out eventually, I guess.


And Kayelless, I can't get to mine

Shelby Jane wrote:

I'll figure it out eventually, I guess.


And Kayelless, I can't get to mine

Thanks
btw, are you on any medications?

Kayelless wrote:
Thanks
btw, are you on any medications?

Unfortunately (since they probably would help me), no.

I've been trying hard to get to a psychiatrist, but my father's finding it hard to get me there. As in, he's not really trying. He's pretty caught up in his own depression and as a result finds it kind of hard to take care of things that don't pertain to him.

I tried a trial of Effexor once and had something pretty close to a seizure, not to mention, every time I sat up/stood up/ stretched I passed out.

So, while I would certainly be helped, no, I'm not.

Kayelless wrote:
can I get both of you to do me a favor and check your profiles at my site.  It's been hacked and I'm trying to make sure your profiles are intact.

Thanks.

I am still OK there.

Shelby Jane wrote:

Unfortunately (since they probably would help me), no.

I've been trying hard to get to a psychiatrist, but my father's finding it hard to get me there. As in, he's not really trying. He's pretty caught up in his own depression and as a result finds it kind of hard to take care of things that don't pertain to him.

I tried a trial of Effexor once and had something pretty close to a seizure, not to mention, every time I sat up/stood up/ stretched I passed out.

So, while I would certainly be helped, no, I'm not.

Shelby, please take a look at this page and check through these tips carefully.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm
See if there are any that you can implement fairly quick or adjust to. 
Also, review the site or local assistance to get you to a psychiatrist so you can get a good prescription.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I am still OK there.

Thanks, Mike

Kayelless wrote:
can I get both of you to do me a favor and check your profiles at my site.  It's been hacked and I'm trying to make sure your profiles are intact.

Thanks.

And you reminded me....I was driving home the other day doing some thinking as I always do while driving and figured I should post it on your blog. So I just did.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

And you reminded me....I was driving home the other day doing some thinking as I always do while driving and figured I should post it on your blog. So I just did.

Thanks. I can still access through my editor profile.

Demonika Devour wrote:
Does anyone feel this thread has helped them ?

Yep. Yep and we had an instance a few weeks back where thread participants actually mobilized to help someone who was in serious need at the time.

The thread in itself has been useful, but by meeting and chatting with participants I have gained a lot from it.

Kayelless wrote:

Yep. Yep and we had an instance a few weeks back where thread participants actually mobilized to help someone who was in serious need at the time.

The thread in itself has been useful, but by meeting and chatting with participants I have gained a lot from it.

Oh ok I was just curious ive been really depressed lately more then normal and wanted some people to talk to.

Demonika Devour wrote:

Oh ok I was just curious ive been really depressed lately more then normal and wanted some people to talk to.

You're more than welcome to join the group.  The thing is everybody here has experience with depression.  None of us really can say what is right or wrong for you, but what we can say is we understand those certain feelings.  To me it's great to feel I can express myself and know that there are others here who understand.

Kayelless wrote:

You're more than welcome to join the group.  The thing is everybody here has experience with depression.  None of us really can say what is right or wrong for you, but what we can say is we understand those certain feelings.  To me it's great to feel I can express myself and know that there are others here who understand.

I just always feel like people in the forums are judging me. Makes me more depressed. Im broke, no real job, no college future, no friends to hang out with, my married is almost to the point of unrepairable. I jsut feel like im falling with no way out and fuck it sucks this whole months ive concidered suicide i havnt had those feelings since i was 14 ive always been depressed but never really suicidal this is god forsaken month. noone wants to listen my mom or my husband

Demonika Devour wrote:
I just always feel like people in the forums are judging me. Makes me more depressed. Im broke, no real job, no college future, no friends to hang out with, my married is almost to the point of unrepairable. I jsut feel like im falling with no way out and fuck it sucks this whole months ive concidered suicide i havnt had those feelings since i was 14 ive always been depressed but never really suicidal this is god forsaken month. noone wants to listen my mom or my husband

That reminds me of how I've felt at times..... kind of like I'm so sick of this type of thing.

One a side note. I just took a look at your port.  Your modeling is definitely not a problem.  Excellent work!!

What forums do you frequent?  Some can be downright brutal.

Demonika Devour wrote:

I just always feel like people in the forums are judging me. Makes me more depressed. Im broke, no real job, no college future, no friends to hang out with, my married is almost to the point of unrepairable. I jsut feel like im falling with no way out and fuck it sucks this whole months ive concidered suicide i havnt had those feelings since i was 14 ive always been depressed but never really suicidal this is god forsaken month. noone wants to listen my mom or my husband

Yes, you are more than welcome here. Unload your worries. This thread has helped me tremendously. I know I can open up freely here without fear of being judged or ridiculed. Those who come here regularly are good people and very supportive.

Just know that even though we don't know you, we care. And we want to know you. We're like a family here. A real family.

Best wishes to you.

Kayelless wrote:

That reminds me of how I've felt at times..... kind of like I'm so sick of this type of thing.

One a side note. I just took a look at your port.  Your modeling is definitely not a problem.  Excellent work!!

What forums do you frequent?  Some can be downright brutal.

Im in alot of them not just one in partculiar. Thanks for the kind words about my port not many have been as nice as you. I want to take my modeling further but my husband always has a say in everything that i do. sometimes i feel like cinderella or something i want to just jump in my car and disapear just travel clear my head. I cant sleep to many nightmares I always look at my ex's port and it makes me mad and makes me want to try harder but then i panic because of the mean things the other models in my area say about me. its like shit shut up. I network 5 hours + a day I am actaulyl trying to make something of my self.

I feel like my wings are bound by rope and begging to break free, im freaking 19 and already hate my life i feel like im 35 stuck in this teenage body. Im actually very smart so my mind works at a 1000miles per second never a rest, and with my added depression my mind is on overload i want to scream pull out my hair. Driving off a cliff seems easier then cutting your self. I dunno fuck my life. No hope= No fear.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Yes, you are more than welcome here. Unload your worries. This thread has helped me tremendously. I know I can open up freely here without fear of being judged or ridiculed. Those who come here regularly are good people and very supportive.

Just know that even though we don't know you, we care. And we want to know you. We're like a family here. A real family.

Best wishes to you.

Thank you its been awhile since someone said they actually care and will listen to me

Demonika Devour wrote:
Does anyone feel this thread has helped them ?

Yes, most def. I also know that there are people who just read this thread and don't post, but have reached out to regular members here, and it has helped them that way.

Demonika Devour wrote:
Does anyone feel this thread has helped them ?

yup ... even if its just to vent,its been helpful

Demonika Devour wrote:

Im in alot of them not just one in partculiar. Thanks for the kind words about my port not many have been as nice as you. I want to take my modeling further but my husband always has a say in everything that i do. sometimes i feel like cinderella or something i want to just jump in my car and disapear just travel clear my head. I cant sleep to many nightmares I always look at my ex's port and it makes me mad and makes me want to try harder but then i panic because of the mean things the other models in my area say about me. its like shit shut up. I network 5 hours + a day I am actaulyl trying to make something of my self.

I feel like my wings are bound by rope and begging to break free, im freaking 19 and already hate my life i feel like im 35 stuck in this teenage body. Im actually very smart so my mind works at a 1000miles per second never a rest, and with my added depression my mind is on overload i want to scream pull out my hair. Driving off a cliff seems easier then cutting your self. I dunno fuck my life. No hope= No fear.

The part in bold, I feel the same way a lot. Almost constantly, actually.

Your whole last paragraph (other than the age thing) could be written about me as well.

If it makes a difference, if you were closer I'd be bribing you to work with me. You have some amazing work in your port. Seriously. I wish I could do more for you than just offer support.

Demonika Devour wrote:
Thank you its been awhile since someone said they actually care and will listen to me

Although I'm only here every other day, I care about everyone who goes through what you're going through, and I will always listen to you with sympathy and without judgment.  You're welcome here, and your voice is heard with respect, compassion, and love by many like-minded people.

Julia Gold wrote:
All I can ever think about is how ugly I am. How fat my reflection looks. How much weight i've gained recently. Ever mirror I pass, every glass door I pass I look at myself and all I see is ugly.
I browse through MM and find so many pretty girls that get so many offers to shoot.
And I wonder why i'm even trying at anything.
I'm not unique, beautiful, or skinny. I'm 5'3 and 107 lbs. Fat fat fat fat.
I wish I could find that one photographer that finds me as someone they could shoot with on a regular basis. A muse maybe. I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that i'm a disgrace to women for not being beautiful.
Shit I really wish I could look at myself differently... I know it'd be soo helpful in me being happier. Since this is like 50% of my sadness cause.

I think you're utterly gorgeous.  Skinny isn't for everyone and you're not fat. But i know how you feel - i'm a bit different from your average girl too and sometimes it hard to feel pretty when 'pretty' seems to be not what i am.  (i'm really tall and shaped like a 50s movie star, not popular these days).

Julia Gold wrote:
All I can ever think about is how ugly I am. How fat my reflection looks. How much weight i've gained recently. Ever mirror I pass, every glass door I pass I look at myself and all I see is ugly.
I browse through MM and find so many pretty girls that get so many offers to shoot.
And I wonder why i'm even trying at anything.
I'm not unique, beautiful, or skinny. I'm 5'3 and 107 lbs. Fat fat fat fat.
I wish I could find that one photographer that finds me as someone they could shoot with on a regular basis. A muse maybe. I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that i'm a disgrace to women for not being beautiful.
Shit I really wish I could look at myself differently... I know it'd be soo helpful in me being happier. Since this is like 50% of my sadness cause.

If you lived close to me, I'd have you out every day possible to shoot. You're gorgeous. I love the bone structure in your face.

And, I still say you're not fat.

Julia Gold wrote:
I'm not unique, beautiful, or skinny. I'm 5'3 and 107 lbs. Fat fat fat fat.
Shit I really wish I could look at myself differently... I know it'd be soo helpful in me being happier. Since this is like 50% of my sadness cause.

This belief has got to change. It's got to be addressed so you can step up and be the person you really want to be. Here's some tips. Please look to them.

http://www.feministing.com/archives/005444.html

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ … e_ID=41159

http://www.womenshealth.gov/bodyimage/

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

If you lived close to me, I'd have you out every day possible to shoot. You're gorgeous. I love the bone structure in your face.

And, I still say you're not fat.

Seconded.

Julia Gold wrote:
All I can ever think about is how ugly I am. How fat my reflection looks. How much weight i've gained recently. Ever mirror I pass, every glass door I pass I look at myself and all I see is ugly.
I browse through MM and find so many pretty girls that get so many offers to shoot.
And I wonder why i'm even trying at anything.
I'm not unique, beautiful, or skinny. I'm 5'3 and 107 lbs. Fat fat fat fat.
I wish I could find that one photographer that finds me as someone they could shoot with on a regular basis. A muse maybe. I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that i'm a disgrace to women for not being beautiful.
Shit I really wish I could look at myself differently... I know it'd be soo helpful in me being happier. Since this is like 50% of my sadness cause.

You are so not fat oh my god i wish i looked as good as you! Someday someone will find you and think oh my god where have you been this whole time! Im not ones muse but i like to think that people that shoot with me like me. your 17 good age to start and man i hope this isnt considered a  critique but your freaking beautiful you have so much going on for you screw other girls sometimes i look at Mosh and i think god fat be gone fat be gone then i just get more upset and over eat.

Julia Gold wrote:
All I can ever think about is how ugly I am. How fat my reflection looks. How much weight i've gained recently. Ever mirror I pass, every glass door I pass I look at myself and all I see is ugly.
I browse through MM and find so many pretty girls that get so many offers to shoot.
And I wonder why i'm even trying at anything.
I'm not unique, beautiful, or skinny. I'm 5'3 and 107 lbs. Fat fat fat fat.
I wish I could find that one photographer that finds me as someone they could shoot with on a regular basis. A muse maybe. I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that i'm a disgrace to women for not being beautiful.
Shit I really wish I could look at myself differently... I know it'd be soo helpful in me being happier. Since this is like 50% of my sadness cause.

You are not fat, ugly, or a disgrace to ANYONE.  If I were a psychiatrist I'd say that you suffer from body dysmorphia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder).  If that's true, you have GOT to get treatment for it, because it is much more dangerous than clinical depression.

Demonika Devour wrote:

You are so not fat oh my god i wish i looked as good as you! Someday someone will find you and think oh my god where have you been this whole time! Im not ones muse but i like to think that people that shoot with me like me. your 17 good age to start and man i hope this isnt considered a  critique but your freaking beautiful you have so much going on for you screw other girls sometimes i look at Mosh and i think god fat be gone fat be gone then i just get more upset and over eat.

You straight rock. Thanks for joining the gang.