Model
Caperucita Roja
Posts: 11545
London, England, United Kingdom
I'm having the most awful awful time.
I'm pretty sure that my mum has been having an affair, and now my dad has got that same idea. He's done investigating and found lovey dovey txts and emails, new and expensive underwear and jewellery. She keeps going out but we know she's not where she says she is.
A few weeks ago my young brother hurt his knee while playing football, so he txt my mum (my dad was busy) to pick him up and she never got back to him. He made his own way home.
Today my mum was supposed to pick me up from my best friends house. I tried to call 2 hours before but got no answer, I then sent her a txt and another call within the next hour but nothing. A half hour after she was supposed to pick me up my friend offered me a lift back (he knows what's been going on) and I txt her to tell her, I then got a reply of "ok". So she'd blatantly ignored me.
Tomorrow we're going on a family holiday to visit my relative in Spain, and when we come back my dad is giving my mum an ultimatum.
I'm so down you wouldn't believe, I'm actually contemplating running away and not going on this holiday but I don't know what to do.
Photographer
Stephoto Photography
Posts: 20158
Amherst, Massachusetts, US
Caperucita Roja wrote:
I'm having the most awful awful time.
I'm pretty sure that my mum has been having an affair, and now my dad has got that same idea. He's done investigating and found lovey dovey txts and emails, new and expensive underwear and jewellery. She keeps going out but we know she's not where she says she is.
A few weeks ago my young brother hurt his knee while playing football, so he txt my mum (my dad was busy) to pick him up and she never got back to him. He made his own way home.
Today my mum was supposed to pick me up from my best friends house. I tried to call 2 hours before but got no answer, I then sent her a txt and another call within the next hour but nothing. A half hour after she was supposed to pick me up my friend offered me a lift back (he knows what's been going on) and I txt her to tell her, I then got a reply of "ok". So she'd blatantly ignored me.
Tomorrow we're going on a family holiday to visit my relative in Spain, and when we come back my dad is giving my mum an ultimatum.
I'm so down you wouldn't believe, I'm actually contemplating running away and not going on this holiday but I don't know what to do. *hugs* hang in there. I know it sucks- I was suspicious of the same thing with one of my parents and went through the same situation. Go to the family holiday and try to stay out of the way when your parents try to work things out between them. If you need to talk, vent, etc feel free to shoot me a PM.
Model
Caperucita Roja
Posts: 11545
London, England, United Kingdom
SPierce Photography wrote:
*hugs* hang in there. I know it sucks- I was suspicious of the same thing with one of my parents and went through the same situation. Go to the family holiday and try to stay out of the way when your parents try to work things out between them. If you need to talk, vent, etc feel free to shoot me a PM. Thankyou 
She's been extra nice and jolly today... it's really weird. I've not bothered going downstairs all evening. I'm really angry and I'm just going to end up doing something stupid.
I honestly want to kill the 28 year old dude she's seeing. I'm tempted to pay a visit to him, send threatening letters or even pay anything I have just to get him to fuck off.
My mum is in the wrong here too I realise, but I don't know this dude and because of that in my eyes he's worse for doing this all the while KNOWING she has kids at home!
Model
Pathogenic Confessions
Posts: 20332
Racine, Minnesota, US
I think I need someone to talk to. I might try to find a therapist 
Photographer
SPierce Photography II
Posts: 194
Belchertown, Massachusetts, US
Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I think I need someone to talk to.
I might try to find a therapist
anything i can help with?
Model
Pathogenic Confessions
Posts: 20332
Racine, Minnesota, US
SPierce Photography II wrote:
anything i can help with? I don't think so, I just have bad depression and get really low, randomly.
And right now, I am feeling hideous, because I already HATE my nose and I think I re-broke part of it. There is part of a bone poking
Fucking ugly as hell and i have my first shoot in 2 years coming up
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I don't think so, I just have bad depression and get really low, randomly.
And right now, I am feeling hideous, because I already HATE my nose and I think I re-broke part of it. There is part of a bone poking
Fucking ugly as hell and i have my first shoot in 2 years coming up I don't know what to say other than I hope it all works out. If you need to talk I'm available to listen.
Hugs.
Model
Pathogenic Confessions
Posts: 20332
Racine, Minnesota, US
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I don't know what to say other than I hope it all works out. If you need to talk I'm available to listen.
Hugs. *hugs*
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
*hugs* OK today?
Photographer
SPierce Photography II
Posts: 194
Belchertown, Massachusetts, US
Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
I don't think so, I just have bad depression and get really low, randomly.
And right now, I am feeling hideous, because I already HATE my nose and I think I re-broke part of it. There is part of a bone poking
Fucking ugly as hell and i have my first shoot in 2 years coming up Don't worry, you'll do awesome!  just get out there and work it!
Model
Pathogenic Confessions
Posts: 20332
Racine, Minnesota, US
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
OK today? Surviving. About to start writing a crappy paper.
I downloaded the Bridge, I am excited to see that.
I spent an hour on the phone, being transferred from one doctors office to another, trying to figure out who I needed to go to, to get my nose looked at. (People are school even noticed it )
I am just soo upset about this because if there was 1 thing I could ever change was my fucking nose, and now it is WORSE
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
Surviving. About to start writing a crappy paper.
I downloaded the Bridge, I am excited to see that.
I spent an hour on the phone, being transferred from one doctors office to another, trying to figure out who I needed to go to, to get my nose looked at. (People are school even noticed it )
I am just soo upset about this because if there was 1 thing I could ever change was my fucking nose, and now it is WORSE I don't want to make you feel worse, but it's possible that you may now qualify for some reconstructive surgery which would be a bonus. Definitely look into that. This may end up being a blessing in disguise.
I hope so, anyway. Let us know how things go.
Model
Pathogenic Confessions
Posts: 20332
Racine, Minnesota, US
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I don't want to make you feel worse, but it's possible that you may now qualify for some reconstructive surgery which would be a bonus. Definitely look into that. This may end up being a blessing in disguise.
I hope so, anyway. Let us know how things go. That is what my family is saying, but I know about rhinoplastys and i don't think they are productive enough. I already need to have knee surgery this summer, and I don't want my whole summer to be surgery.
Anaesthetia has extreme risks alone and 1 out of ever 2 rhinos done have to have some follow up/corrective procedure to fix it!
And you aren't allowed to let your blood pressure raise for 2 weeks, so you are supposed to not have sex
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
YAAAAAY!!!!!!!
Share!!!!!! Lewk in my port, LEWWWWK :p
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Pathogenic Confessions wrote:
That is what my family is saying, but I know about rhinoplastys and i don't think they are productive enough. I already need to have knee surgery this summer, and I don't want my whole summer to be surgery.
Anaesthetia has extreme risks alone and 1 out of ever 2 rhinos done have to have some follow up/corrective procedure to fix it!
And you aren't allowed to let your blood pressure raise for 2 weeks, so you are supposed to not have sex Yes, that's definitely something to think about. I wasn't really referring to rhinoplasty but more of a cosmetic surgery. I've considered the rhinoplasty myself but decided I'd deal with the problems after some of the horror stories I've heard.
I just hope everything works out for you.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Dannielle Levan wrote:
Lewk in my port, LEWWWWK :p I lewked. (I hope lewking is not something obcene) Very nice!
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I lewked. (I hope lewking is not something obcene) Very nice! Tis lolspeak! 
Photographer
Dark Angel Photography
Posts: 9584
Orlando, Florida, US
...I had a tourniquet once, but it has since loosened and fallen to the floor...
...my rock, my table, my universe has fallen...
...everything now flows from my heart instead of to it...
...the world around me crumbles in gray tones...
...my eyes see too much to contemplate whats going on around me...
...my mind sinks inward and drowns in agony...
...tears flow red with sorrow and despair...
...my breath in and take in no air...
...cringing from last nights talk...
...I couldn't even bear to think and walk...
...these things have fallen because of time to well spent...
...and now the drowning has begun in tears of sacrifice and loss...
...'09...
Photographer
Dee
Posts: 3004
Toledo, Ohio, US
do you ever wish someone would just kill you because you are too much of a pussy to end it yourself?
I cant stnd life anymore....really.....my teenage daughters have just run me to the ground...I have a 7 month old baby and I just dont even care anymore.............life isnt worth living to me anymore.......
Photographer
Dark Angel Photography
Posts: 9584
Orlando, Florida, US
Dee wrote:
do you ever wish someone would just kill you because you are too much of a pussy to end it yourself? ...every single day... but only because I scare myself too much knowing that I could if it comes to that...
Photographer
Instinct Images
Posts: 23162
San Diego, California, US
Did anyone watch "House" on Monday night? In cased you missed it, one of the main characters committed suicide. I thought they handled it really well, showing the confused, blame, guilt, etc. that survivors deal with when someone close to you kills themselves.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Dee wrote:
do you ever wish someone would just kill you because you are too much of a pussy to end it yourself?
I cant stnd life anymore....really.....my teenage daughters have just run me to the ground...I have a 7 month old baby and I just dont even care anymore.............life isnt worth living to me anymore....... Dee. Find help. Please. You should not try to handle this alone. Sometimes things get to be too much for one person. Talk to someone at least. A friend, relative, counselor.
Don't give up.
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Dee wrote:
do you ever wish someone would just kill you because you are too much of a pussy to end it yourself?
I cant stnd life anymore....really.....my teenage daughters have just run me to the ground...I have a 7 month old baby and I just dont even care anymore.............life isnt worth living to me anymore....... yup. A lot actually. While I was working last night, I was driving around looking at different things, telephone poles, trees, wondering if I just drove into it as fast as I could if it would finish the job once and for all. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought " whos going to take care of my cat and love him like I do?" Not friends, not family .... my cat. I dont even like cats, but I love my boy
Photographer
Dee
Posts: 3004
Toledo, Ohio, US
holding this bottle of vicodin in my hand.......wondering if there are enough to do the job.......life for me is no longer worth living.....
another morning of complete pain and suffering.....................
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Dee wrote:
holding this bottle of vicodin in my hand.......wondering if there are enough to do the job.......life for me is no longer worth living.....
another morning of complete pain and suffering..................... SSSTTTOOPPPPPP!!! Isnt there ANYONE you can talk to?!?! Someone/Something in your life that makes you smile??? What about that beautiful baby?? You love that child dont you???
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Dee wrote:
holding this bottle of vicodin in my hand.......wondering if there are enough to do the job.......life for me is no longer worth living.....
another morning of complete pain and suffering..................... PM sent. *HUGS*
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Come on Dee! Talk to us ... stay with us!
Photographer
Stephoto Photography
Posts: 20158
Amherst, Massachusetts, US
Dee wrote:
holding this bottle of vicodin in my hand.......wondering if there are enough to do the job.......life for me is no longer worth living.....
another morning of complete pain and suffering..................... Dee! are you there? are you okay? PM sent
Model
Breezy29
Posts: 63
Bridge City, Texas, US
Dee wrote:
holding this bottle of vicodin in my hand.......wondering if there are enough to do the job.......life for me is no longer worth living.....
another morning of complete pain and suffering.....................
Model
Breezy29
Posts: 63
Bridge City, Texas, US
I was once where u were at, it is not worth it, not only are u hurting yourself but the people around u as well, it is not worth it...
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
We're trying to find out if she's OK. No response to my PM. Mods on here have been contacted and are looking into it. (Thanks Scott).
I'm trying to get ahold of someone she has worked with to see if they can give more information or just check up on her.
Toledo police have been called. (Thanks again, Scott).
I posted another thread in OT asking for help here if anyone knows her.
Model
Solstice Rain
Posts: 13687
Davenport, Florida, US
I've PMed her as well. Her portfolio breaks my heart.
Photographer
Dee
Posts: 3004
Toledo, Ohio, US
I am ok........not ok but still here...to whomever called me sorry for being rude... I had to get up with the baby,......
I am not going to harm myself.......like i said before i am too much a pussy to actually end it........
I feel deep down in my heart i wish to not be here.....i have the baby and sheis theonly thingkeepingme going.............that is even hard to make that enough anymore........the vicodin are for my broken tailbone and backpain.....was holding them and i guess thinking outloud.....
I am sorry to all who are so concerned......I have decided to not do photography anymore.................so my absence is as of now.....
maybeone day when my life gets better i will return............
Photographer
Stephoto Photography
Posts: 20158
Amherst, Massachusetts, US
Dee wrote:
I am ok........not ok but still here...to whomever called me sorry for being rude... I had to get up with the baby,......
I am not going to harm myself.......like i said before i am too much a pussy to actually end it........
I feel deep down in my heart i wish to not be here.....i have the baby and sheis theonly thingkeepingme going.............that is even hard to make that enough anymore........the vicodin are for my broken tailbone and backpain.....was holding them and i guess thinking outloud.....
I am sorry to all who are so concerned......I have decided to not do photography anymore.................so my absence is as of now.....
maybeone day when my life gets better i will return............ Oh thank heaven's you're okay!
*hugs* take time out for you- and focus on you. We will be here when you return, or if you ever need a neutral third party to talk to! Hang in there; things will get better!
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Dee wrote:
I am ok........not ok but still here...to whomever called me sorry for being rude... I had to get up with the baby,......
I am not going to harm myself.......like i said before i am too much a pussy to actually end it........
I feel deep down in my heart i wish to not be here.....i have the baby and sheis theonly thingkeepingme going.............that is even hard to make that enough anymore........the vicodin are for my broken tailbone and backpain.....was holding them and i guess thinking outloud.....
I am sorry to all who are so concerned......I have decided to not do photography anymore.................so my absence is as of now.....
maybeone day when my life gets better i will return............ I understand. It's what you have to do that matters. Just be well.
*HUGS*
Model
Trevor Mark
Posts: 11609
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US
Dee wrote:
I am ok........not ok but still here...to whomever called me sorry for being rude... I had to get up with the baby,......
I am not going to harm myself.......like i said before i am too much a pussy to actually end it........
I feel deep down in my heart i wish to not be here.....i have the baby and sheis theonly thingkeepingme going.............that is even hard to make that enough anymore........the vicodin are for my broken tailbone and backpain.....was holding them and i guess thinking outloud.....
I am sorry to all who are so concerned......I have decided to not do photography anymore.................so my absence is as of now.....
maybeone day when my life gets better i will return............ You'll return.
Inspiration says you won't just get up one day because you have to, you'll do it because you want to.
Model
Solstice Rain
Posts: 13687
Davenport, Florida, US
Dee, I hope you find things easier, one small breath at a time. My heart breaks for you. And I'm sending you strength until you can find it on your own. I know I speak for us all when I say to keep us posted. Obviously, we all care you.
Photographer
Scottsworld71
Posts: 3587
Mount Vernon, Ohio, US
Hang in there Dee! Let people help you! Its ok to admit feeling defeated, just dont let it beat you! Dont EVER give up please! You never know when something, someone could come along and make you realize " Hey, I can get through this" and turn things around for you
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just get out there and work it!