Dannielle Levan wrote:
I really want to chase my cat with my camera now, but i don't think he's in the mood for it, he saw my camera and hid under the bed!

Kayelless wrote:
chase him anyway.  Little sucker needs to learn some manners.  What's up with that hidin' when the camera comes out? 

My cats have me figured out.  They either suddenly need to take a nap or will hold the pose just long enough for me to get it framed and ready to shoot and then....... !@%4^(*)$$!!!!! cat.

My cat loves getting her picture taken. She just isn't too fond of flash when I use it.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Hugs. Baby steps. One day, or one hour, or one minute, or even one second at a time.

Find something to occupy your mind.

Thanks.
I'm trying. That's what counts the most I figure.
I've been occupying myself by watching Freakazoid as a distraction for the entire night. Otherwise I still wouldn't have been able to sleep and I would've had even more unpleasant thoughts(Unpleasant is possibly a mild term for them but whatever).

Freakazoid, awesome for distracting.

Elisabeth West wrote:

Thanks.
I'm trying. That's what counts the most I figure.
I've been occupying myself by watching Freakazoid as a distraction for the entire night. Otherwise I still wouldn't have been able to sleep and I would've had even more unpleasant thoughts(Unpleasant is possibly a mild term for them but whatever).

Freakazoid, awesome for distracting.

You could always go into Soapbox and mess with everyone like I do...

Those people get too serious sometimes.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

You could always go into Soapbox and mess with everyone like I do...

Those people get too serious sometimes.

Frustrates me too much. Particularly when people start with conspiracy theories. Ugh, bad logic and science irritate me to no end!

I could just go in all the religion threads in there and start talking about my cult(that I started) whenever I see an appropriate looking opening.

Elisabeth West wrote:

Frustrates me too much. Particularly when people start with conspiracy theories. Ugh, bad logic and science irritate me to no end!

I could just go in all the religion threads in there and start talking about my cult(that I started) whenever I see an appropriate looking opening.

You should. It could be fun if you do it right. LOL. When I go in there, no one ever knows which side I'm on. Especially when I agree with both sides, then disagree.

Good times......good times.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

You should. It could be fun if you do it right. LOL. When I go in there, no one ever knows which side I'm on. Especially when I agree with both sides, then disagree.

Good times......good times.

wins for the lulz

Elisabeth West wrote:

Frustrates me too much. Particularly when people start with conspiracy theories. Ugh, bad logic and science irritate me to no end!

I could just go in all the religion threads in there and start talking about my cult(that I started) whenever I see an appropriate looking opening.

Is the cult based on polygamy? If it is, I'm game.

Natasha240 wrote:

wins for the lulz

Another fun one: Start a thread with the most outrageous idea, then let everyone else argue over whether it's true or not. Just keep arguing your point no matter what. This is especially easy of it's a political view or religious idea.

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

Is the cult based on polygamy? If it is, I'm game.

It's based on doing whatever the fuck you want, and just thanking however I told is the gods/goddesses of that time period for the awesome you are having.

I was bored. This is what happens.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Bump.

How's everyone doing? Not so good here. Heading down that long slide.

careful not to give yourself a weggie

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Bump.

How's everyone doing? Not so good here. Heading down that long slide.

:hug:
I'm not sure how I'm doing yet. I don't seem to have feelings really yet today. I slept all of yesterday. I hurt alot today physically.
I'll try to explore some stuff with my therapist today instead of just bsing her.

Kayelless wrote:
careful not to give yourself a weggie

Elisabeth West wrote:
I'll try to explore some stuff with my therapist today instead of just bsing her.

Both good advice.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Bump.

How's everyone doing? Not so good here. Heading down that long slide.

I feel you man. I've slid so far down, I don't even WANT to come back up anymore. I am utterly defeated, and I've accepted it. Just marking time here.

Natasha240 wrote:
I feel you man. I've slid so far down, I don't even WANT to come back up anymore. I am utterly defeated, and I've accepted it . Just marking time here.

so allowing yourself to stay down is easier than trying to get up or are you afraid that if you get up the pressure to stay up will be too great which will cause you to fall down again?

edit: sorry I've been writing some code today.

Kayelless wrote:

so allowing yourself to stay down is easier than trying to get up or are you afraid that if you get up the pressure to stay up will be too great which will cause you to fall down again?

edit: sorry I've been writing some code today.

both, I just don't care anymore either way. I pretty much feel dead inside, and I'm ok with it I guess.

Kayelless wrote:
so allowing yourself to stay down is easier than trying to get up or are you afraid that if you get up the pressure to stay up will be too great which will cause you to fall down again?

edit: sorry I've been writing some code today.

Natasha240 wrote:
both, I just don't care anymore either way. I pretty much feel dead inside, and I'm ok with it I guess.

I'm getting there. I'm starting to not even care if I make it to 40 or not. What's left?

Natasha240 wrote:

both, I just don't care anymore either way. I pretty much feel dead inside, and I'm ok with it I guess.

the fact that you're posting indicates that you do care....

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I'm getting there. I'm starting to not even care if I make it to 40 or not. What's left?

Mike, this past week I became another casualty of this sick economy.  I'm 51 years old, single with no kids and I have enough debt to fill a truck load.  And now I'm unemployed. I'm only just beginning to live..

what's left? Your entire life and legacy that you can either throw away as meaningless to this world or utilize it to fulfill all the great things that you are.

Natasha240 wrote:

both, I just don't care anymore either way. I pretty much feel dead inside, and I'm ok with it I guess.

I've been there, a few times, I'm getting there again but I'm working on not getting there this time.

Elisabeth West wrote:

I've been there, a few times, I'm getting there again but I'm working on not getting there this time.

Kayelless wrote:

Mike, this past week I became another casualty of this sick economy.  I'm 51 years old, single with no kids and I have enough debt to fill a truck load.  And now I'm unemployed. I'm only just beginning to live..

what's left? Your entire life and legacy that you can either throw away as meaningless to this world or utilize it to fulfill all the great things that you are.

I have no legacy. I have attempts.

Kayelless wrote:

the fact that you're posting indicates that you do care....

Ok. If you say so.

Natasha240 wrote:

Ok. If you say so.

I still care. The thing is, I care about others and not myself.

*HUGS* to you.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I have no legacy. I have attempts.

I think the only thing you might be failing at right now is giving yourself enough credit..
and caring about others is no good if you don't care for yourself.... that's something I've had to overcome, too.  If you really want to help them then you've got to take care of yourself which means caring for yourself.

Yes, Natasha, I do say so.  I know that concept, too.  Sometimes it's so very hard to shake that fog.  So very hard to come up for air.... but you've got to believe that you can.

SPierce Photography wrote:
I hate thunderstorms. HATE.

*huggs*
I kind of like 'em.

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Wee!  I had such fun today shooting!  More later..[/url]

Kayelless wrote:

Kayelless wrote:

I think the only thing you might be failing at right now is giving yourself enough credit..
and caring about others is no good if you don't care for yourself.... that's something I've had to overcome, too.  If you really want to help them then you've got to take care of yourself which means caring for yourself.

Yes, Natasha, I do say so.  I know that concept, too.  Sometimes it's so very hard to shake that fog.  So very hard to come up for air.... but you've got to believe that you can.

You might be partially right. I do give myself credit. Others don't. I'm one of those "invisibles" that goes unnoticed. Unrecognized.

I wouldn't know how to care for myself. My whole life has been an exercise in sacrificing for others. Even as a kid I was made to give up what I wanted to appease others. Last of 5 kids so I got whatever was left after the other 4 took what they wanted. Seniority only meant something at work if it benefited someone else. If I had the seniority, suddenly the rules changed.

That's my life. Giving up so others can have. Almost 40 years of it. How do you change that?

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Wee!  I had such fun today shooting!  More later..

YAAAAAY!!!!!!!

Share!!!!!!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

You might be partially right. I do give myself credit. Others don't. I'm one of those "invisibles" that goes unnoticed. Unrecognized.

I wouldn't know how to care for myself. My whole life has been an exercise in sacrificing for others. Even as a kid I was made to give up what I wanted to appease others. Last of 5 kids so I got whatever was left after the other 4 took what they wanted. Seniority only meant something at work if it benefited someone else. If I had the seniority, suddenly the rules changed.

That's my life. Giving up so others can have. Almost 40 years of it. How do you change that?

Learned behavior shapes how most of us believe and live our lives.  This is something not easily dismissed.  I know that I, too, naturally will put someone else's needs ahead of my own, however I was reminded that I can't help those most dear to me if I've not put myself in a position to be able to help them.

Look at how you do for others and how it affects them.  Then put yourself in that role instead. 

Also, I know what you mean about not receiving acknowledgment for what you have done.  For me I do it because it just makes me feel good.  I feel better about myself because I see to many "takers" and "abusers" in this world.  I know how they make people feel and I don't want to make people feel that way.
People will treat people the way they want regardless of how it makes others feel so I don't concern myself with recognition.

Kayelless wrote:
maybe I should just let this thread die?

I don't think it's dead, but I know i've been swamped with editing and keeping up with everything, and i'm trying to remain as positive as possible/not worrying or venting about my job situation.

SPierce Photography wrote:

I don't think it's dead, but I know I've been swamped with editing and keeping up with everything, and i'm trying to remain as positive as possible/not worrying or venting about my job situation.

Y'know that's the thing.  I would like to see balance.  I mean, we all have sucky days and feel like shit at times.. even under conditions of depression, but to sit around and whine or just talk about how bad one feels is only focusing on the symptoms.  I see support as a nurturing thing that involves both talk of what ails as well as encouragement and solution.
Also, who is to say all subjects need to be of "omg my life sucks" seriousness?  To me support is about relating to one another and companionship not only in bad times, but in good times, too.

I've seen a number of folks come and go from this thread and I sometimes wonder does it come off as just "the emo kids" table. 

Personally, I know there are a lot more people regularly posting in OT and other MM forums that do suffer from depression and have experience with issues of suicide and domestic violence and it seems that this thread has trickled down to a cycle of a few popping in and out to report "I had a good day today" or "I had a bad day today." 
How does one form a level of reassuring support from that?

That's why I put the question out there.

Kayelless wrote:
The words to this song may be too positive in a simple way, but they also speak of self love...  this is from back in my high school days.  One of my all time favorite bands and albums..  think I'll give it a listen today.

From Earth, Wind and Fire's "That's The Way of the World" - "Shining Star"

Yeah, hey
When you wish upon a star
Dreams will take you very far, yeah
When you wish upon a dream
Life aint always what it seems, oh yeah
Once you see your light so clear
In the sky so very dear

You're a shining star, no matter who you are
Shining bright to see what you can truly be
That you can truly be

Shining star come into view
Shine is watchful light on you, yeah
Gives you strength to carry on
Make your body big and strong
Future roads for you to pass
Love to watch your mug past

The shining star, lucky you
The sinful redeeming shall be true
On an adventure of the sun, yeah
Yeah its all awake and just begun
Yeah, thought I had to stir the mood
Thats it now I got my own oh yeah

So if you find yourself in need
Why don't you listen to his words of heat
Be a child free of sin
Be some place, yes I can
Words of wisdom: yes I can

You're a shining star, no matter who you are
Shining bright to see what you can truly be
You're a shining star, no matter who you are
Shining bright to see what you can truly be

Shining star for you to see, what your life can truly be
Shining star for you to see, what your life can truly be
Shining star for you to see, what your life can truly be

I like this song

Kayelless wrote:

Y'know that's the thing.  I would like to see balance.  I mean, we all have sucky days and feel like shit at times.. even under conditions of depression, but to sit around and whine or just talk about how bad one feels is only focusing on the symptoms.  I see support as a nurturing thing that involves both talk of what ails as well as encouragement and solution.
Also, who is to say all subjects need to be of "omg my life sucks" seriousness?  To me support is about relating to one another and companionship not only in bad times, but in good times, too.

I've seen a number of folks come and go from this thread and I sometimes wonder does it come off as just "the emo kids" table. 

Personally, I know there are a lot more people regularly posting in OT and other MM forums that do suffer from depression and have experience with issues of suicide and domestic violence and it seems that this thread has trickled down to a cycle of a few popping in and out to report "I had a good day today" or "I had a bad day today." 
How does one form a level of reassuring support from that?

That's why I put the question out there.

Well, I can only speak for myself. I don't come here as much because as I said earlier, I've given up, and I don't think that will be supportive to others who are going through it, but still have hope.