Natasha240 wrote:
*waves*
Hi everyone

Hiya.

Hope you're well. HUGZ

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I've lately started retracting myself from the world again. Like a turtle going into its shell. I don't want to know nor do I care what's around me. Just leave me alone and I'll be fine.

I, too, have so little emotional feeling left that I wonder if I'm truly alive. I often sit and cry for hours but for no reason. It bothered me for awhile, but whenever I start to come out of my shell, find a few "friends" to associate with, and start being more social it all comes back to the same thing over and over. So again I withdraw back into my shell. Each time I care less and less to venture back out.

That's what I do, too. And I've been doing. In the last two months, I've only left my house for three times for things that weren't related to working or grocery shopping. 

I can't even bring myself to cry anymore. Things that I know would have at one point ripped me apart don't phase me in the least.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I'm the same way. Maybe slightly different. I seem to feel more for strangers than I do for people I know. This is perhaps because I have been hurt by everyone I know in some way or other.

I've lately started retracting myself from the world again. Like a turtle going into its shell. I don't want to know nor do I care what's around me. Just leave me alone and I'll be fine.

I, too, have so little emotional feeling left that I wonder if I'm truly alive. I often sit and cry for hours but for no reason. It bothered me for awhile, but whenever I start to come out of my shell, find a few "friends" to associate with, and start being more social it all comes back to the same thing over and over. So again I withdraw back into my shell. Each time I care less and less to venture back out.

I've got a patent on that turtle thing.  My lawyer will be contacting you.

Patrick Walberg wrote:
Laughter is very important for our physical and mental health.

I try to find something to laugh about every day.  It keeps depression away. 

So go to a comedy club, search Youtube, or rent a funny movie ... but DO IT!
If those things don't work, then call me! 
I will listen to you, then I will say a few things to inspire you.
If I'm really good ... then I will get you laughing!

Some of our greatest comedians lived with personal pain, yet they told jokes.

Think about it.

This is actually REALLY REALLY GOOD ADVICE!

Kayelless wrote:

I've got a patent on that turtle thing.  My lawyer will be contacting you.

Yes, I forgot. You're the turtle man. I guess I'll just play possum.

Weird fact. The term "Playing Possum" comes from the real life way a possum avoids danger. However, the possum isn't actually playing. When in danger, a possum stresses out to the point where it overloads it's small brain and basically short circuits the cognitive functions for a few minutes while keeping vital functions barely operating. This gives the possum all appearances of being dead. Most natural predators of the possum prefer "fresh meat" meaning they won't eat something unless they personally kill it so when they check the possum and determine it's already dead, they leave it alone.

So, it is possible that a malfunction can save a life. It certainly saved a whole species since the possum is too slow and stupid to avoid being an easy meal otherwise.

SPierce Photography wrote:
I had an awesome shoot today i'm so happy! Hope everyone's doing well

YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Yes, I forgot. You're the turtle man. I guess I'll just play possum.

Weird fact. The term "Playing Possum" comes from the real life way a possum avoids danger. However, the possum isn't actually playing. When in danger, a possum stresses out to the point where it overloads it's small brain and basically short circuits the cognitive functions for a few minutes while keeping vital functions barely operating. This gives the possum all appearances of being dead. Most natural predators of the possum prefer "fresh meat" meaning they won't eat something unless they personally kill it so when they check the possum and determine it's already dead, they leave it alone.

So, it is possible that a malfunction can save a life. It certainly saved a whole species since the possum is too slow and stupid to avoid being an easy meal otherwise.

They still make easy roadkill.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lawrence Guy wrote:

They still make easy roadkill.

Ah, yes, the natural predator to all wildlife.....the automobile. Bodyshops across the nation rejoice.

SPierce Photography wrote:

OMG!!!!!!

That is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
OMG!!!!!!

That is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it? I feel sooo lucky today I'm so happy! Completely unexpected, and the lighting was perfect and cast this really pretty lighting on her hair. Every shot that turned is like "ZOMG Yes!"

The only thing that frustrates me, is I don't know what was different today compared to the other shots, with the exception of the fact that I took more control over the models poses and gave more direction, as opposed to letting them just pose

SPierce Photography wrote:

Isn't it? I feel sooo lucky today I'm so happy! Completely unexpected, and the lighting was perfect and cast this really pretty lighting on her hair. Every shot that turned is like "ZOMG Yes!"

The only thing that frustrates me, is I don't know what was different today compared to the other shots, with the exception of the fact that I took more control over the models poses and gave more direction, as opposed to letting them just pose

I know what it is. I expected it. It's because you're improving greatly. Sure, there could be some other elements involved. Better lighting because of the weather today, better modeling because you did more directing (I've noticed that I started being more picky and doing more directing myself and they're turning out much better), better meshing between you and the model...

It all comes back to you. Either consciously or subconsciously you are contributing to all this. Great job.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I know what it is. I expected it. It's because you're improving greatly. Sure, there could be some other elements involved. Better lighting because of the weather today, better modeling because you did more directing (I've noticed that I started being more picky and doing more directing myself and they're turning out much better), better meshing between you and the model...

It all comes back to you. Either consciously or subconsciously you are contributing to all this. Great job.

but my frustration is this: I shot with a model last week, she was beautiful! She did a great job posing, we got along wonderfully, things were just all around faboo! I was so excited to see the shots--- but something was lacking- and i think it may have been on my side. today, the "chemistry" was there, but not as much as it was last week. Yet, i got better images this shoot than I did the last one...

When I shoot, i go by instinct in terms of controls, etc. so i don't know what i'm doing that would cause me to improve. I don't understand any of the technical aspects of photography-- hell, i'm not even sure what lens i'm using aside from the fact that it's a 35-135. Yet, i have my camera on manual and i go off of what i think works best... and usually it does. This confuses me- i don't understand photography at all, yet i can still take decent photographs?

and thanks i'm gonna have a rough time choosing photos for this one, there are 2-3 that are just awesome!

SPierce Photography wrote:

but my frustration is this: I shot with a model last week, she was beautiful! She did a great job posing, we got along wonderfully, things were just all around faboo! I was so excited to see the shots--- but something was lacking- and i think it may have been on my side. today, the "chemistry" was there, but not as much as it was last week. Yet, i got better images this shoot than I did the last one...

When I shoot, i go by instinct in terms of controls, etc. so i don't know what i'm doing that would cause me to improve. I don't understand any of the technical aspects of photography-- hell, i'm not even sure what lens i'm using aside from the fact that it's a 35-135. Yet, i have my camera on manual and i go off of what i think works best... and usually it does. This confuses me- i don't understand photography at all, yet i can still take decent photographs?

and thanks i'm gonna have a rough time choosing photos for this one, there are 2-3 that are just awesome!

Ya see? It's all you. I usually use aperture priority mode. Sometimes manual especially if I'm using strobes/flash and want to control the flash vs ambient light ratio. It all depends on what I need.

But, you're doing great. And you're only gonna get better. Don't worry so much about the shortest/best route to reach your destination, take your own way and enjoy the journey to get there. That's what I'm doing. If I make a wrong turn, I just go with it and see if I can find anything interesting in that direction.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Ya see? It's all you. I usually use aperture priority mode. Sometimes manual especially if I'm using strobes/flash and want to control the flash vs ambient light ratio. It all depends on what I need.

But, you're doing great. And you're only gonna get better. Don't worry so much about the shortest/best route to reach your destination, take your own way and enjoy the journey to get there. That's what I'm doing. If I make a wrong turn, I just go with it and see if I can find anything interesting in that direction.

Thanks!

SPierce Photography wrote:

Thanks!

No need to thank me. We're all in this journey through life together. Separate paths, same journey. If I happen to be on a path ahead of you, I'll clear some of the obstacles away if I can. Karma....what comes around goes around.

Just get good pics and I'll be happy!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

No need to thank me. We're all in this journey through life together. Separate paths, same journey. If I happen to be on a path ahead of you, I'll clear some of the obstacles away if I can. Karma....what comes around goes around.

Just get good pics and I'll be happy!

Karma i'm not sure likes me at the moment-- I keep applying for these jobs, and getting sent to a website that doesn't work when they email me back and request more information! it sucks!

and

Laura Dark Photography wrote:
This is a wonderful thread. 

I've suffered from depression for years but just recently, after having my last child, decided to seek help.  My dad passed away in March and my son was born in September so between the loss and the hormones I was a total wreck.

I still have lingering depression.  I have days where I can't get myself out of bed.  Days when I snap at my family for no reason.  I always doubt my work.  I doubt my worthiness as a mother and a wife and a human.

It's nice to know there are others like me out there.

*hug* never doubt yourself, you are awesome! and i'm very sorry for your losses

Laura Dark Photography wrote:
This is a wonderful thread. 

I've suffered from depression for years but just recently, after having my last child, decided to seek help.  My dad passed away in March and my son was born in September so between the loss and the hormones I was a total wreck.

I still have lingering depression.  I have days where I can't get myself out of bed.  Days when I snap at my family for no reason.  I always doubt my work.  I doubt my worthiness as a mother and a wife and a human.

It's nice to know there are others like me out there.

I'm glad you found us. Misery may love company, but with company the misery is easier to deal with.

I doubt my worth all the time too and go through a lot of what you do. Then I realize that I don't have to please others like I always try to do.

Just be you.

SPierce Photography wrote:

Karma i'm not sure likes me at the moment-- I keep applying for these jobs, and getting sent to a website that doesn't work when they email me back and request more information! it sucks!

and

Karma loves you. You'll get what you need, but not always what you want. Perhaps those jobs aren't really right for you and you don't know. It'll work out.

And.....

That image RAWKS!!!!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Karma loves you. You'll get what you need, but not always what you want. Perhaps those jobs aren't really right for you and you don't know. It'll work out.

And.....

That image RAWKS!!!!

^.^ I finally have a non-headshot shot to add to my port! AND it's in color! I'm so happy! I can't decide if it needs a slight clockwise tilt or not, though.

SPierce Photography wrote:
^.^ I finally have a non-headshot shot to add to my port! AND it's in color! I'm so happy! I can't decide if it needs a slight clockwise tilt or not, though.

No rotation needed.  If you tilit it all the trees in the background will look wrong, and right now she's just standing in a pose that is tilted ever-so-slightly to the left.  It's a natural pose and it's fine; you're just being fanatical about getting a "perfect" picture.

In one of my writing workshops my teacher told me about this crow that sits on all of our shoulders looking at our work and screeching "It sucks!  It sucks!"  The point is that no matter how good our work is, we still look for things that are wrong with it.  Nobody else sees a problem.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

No rotation needed.  If you tilit it all the trees in the background will look wrong, and right now she's just standing in a pose that is tilted ever-so-slightly to the left.  It's a natural pose and it's fine; you're just being fanatical about getting a "perfect" picture.

In one of my writing workshops my teacher told me about this crow that sits on all of our shoulders looking at our work and screeching "It sucks!  It sucks!"  The point is that no matter how good our work is, we still look for things that are wrong with it.  Nobody else sees a problem.

Thanks you!

SPierce Photography wrote:

Thanks you!

Any time.  Now send her to NY so I can photograph her

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Any time.  Now send her to NY so I can photograph her

Why not come up here when it gets warmer? We're certainly going to be out shooting again!

SPierce Photography wrote:

Why not come up here when it gets warmer? We're certainly going to be out shooting again!

Good idea, I'm in!  Gotta go build set pieces now.  Send me a PM and we'll arrange details.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Good idea, I'm in!  Gotta go build set pieces now.  Send me a PM and we'll arrange details.

As soon as we get another date set for sure, I will shoot you a PM!

Laura Dark Photography wrote:
This is a wonderful thread. 

I've suffered from depression for years but just recently, after having my last child, decided to seek help.  My dad passed away in March and my son was born in September so between the loss and the hormones I was a total wreck.

I still have lingering depression.  I have days where I can't get myself out of bed.  Days when I snap at my family for no reason.  I always doubt my work.  I doubt my worthiness as a mother and a wife and a human.

It's nice to know there are others like me out there.

Welcome.  You will always have ears here that will listen.

Worth, worthiness, worthlessness, value... these words do not apply to people.  It is not even right to say that "all people are worthy," because that's applying the concept of worth to people.  People simply are, and do not need to prove themselves or measure themselves against ANY scale.  Accept yourself and others unconditionally.  It makes it much easier to smile.

SPierce Photography wrote:
I couldn't decide which one to use So I went with both! How's everyone doing tonight? It's almost dinner time!

Looks good to me.

And....eh. Not so good.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Looks good to me.

And....eh. Not so good.

Awww, what happened? *hugs*

and you're so sweet. Thanks for the list!

SPierce Photography wrote:

Awww, what happened? *hugs*

and you're so sweet. Thanks for the list!

Bleh. Issues at home. My son took it upon himself to spend $275 for "points" for an online game without asking. Then he deleted the emails to try to hide it.

So, yeah, I'm just a bit upset.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Bleh. Issues at home. My son took it upon himself to spend $275 for "points" for an online game without asking. Then he deleted the emails to try to hide it.

So, yeah, I'm just a bit upset.

Oh no! That's insane! You're probably being a lot nicer about it than I am --how in the world did he get your CC info?

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Argh!  i went to a doctor in New West to get some more contraceptives and something for my panic attacks.
The lady basically tried to hurry me thru there and actually said 'Hurry up i have other patients'.
I told her i have panic attacks and the strain of trying to suppress them was making me feel really depressed - and that when i can't suppress them i hyperventilate and cry, and eventually pass out - she told me that was nothing serious and wouldn't give me anything for it. :<
And when i read the patient info on the birth control pill she gave me - it apparently  WORSENS depression and anxiety.

Stupid bitch

THATS horrible! Can you go to a different doctor? I would go straight to her boss and complain!

Dannielle Levan wrote:
Argh!  i went to a doctor in New West to get some more contraceptives and something for my panic attacks.
The lady basically tried to hurry me thru there and actually said 'Hurry up i have other patients'.
I told her i have panic attacks and the strain of trying to suppress them was making me feel really depressed - and that when i can't suppress them i hyperventilate and cry, and eventually pass out - she told me that was nothing serious and wouldn't give me anything for it. :<
And when i read the patient info on the birth control pill she gave me - it apparently  WORSENS depression and anxiety.

Stupid bitch

Yes, what SPierce said. Find another doctor. I think it's really crappy that a doctor of all people would treat you like that.

Not nice. Not at all.

SPierce Photography wrote:

Oh no! That's insane! You're probably being a lot nicer about it than I am --how in the world did he get your CC info?

Google Checkout. He figured out the password.

But, my yard got raked, dishes done, floors cleaned and a host of other household jobs finished today. I should buy him a maid's outfit and make him wear it with all the housework he's going to be doing for a loooooong time.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Google Checkout. He figured out the password.

But, my yard got raked, dishes done, floors cleaned and a host of other household jobs finished today. I should buy him a maid's outfit and make him wear it with all the housework he's going to be doing for a loooooong time.

At least you got a slave out of it! Can you call the game/credit card company and fix it?