Phane wrote:
am so glad people care about people or Life would be a hard place its what makes me happy to be their for people

This thread is filled with people who care in ways you might never have imagined.  I know at least half a dozen regulars in this thread who would go to extraordinary lengths to help a complete stranger, simply because that stranger needs help.

I can't speak for others, but for myself I'm repaying a debt.  If you want to talk on the phone please PM me.  I can talk tomorrow night, or earlier if it's urgent.  You can call me or I can call you.  I won't even ask you to tell me anything personal, though I will listen without judgment if you do.  Sometimes it just helps to hear someone else tell *their* story, so you realize you're not so strange after all.

This kind of shit - society tries to pretend it doesn't exist.  Only by acknowledging it and discussing it can we beat it.

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Breathing is good.  Talking is very good.  Sounds like you're responding well.  I promise that this is the last time I say this (I don't want to be a nag), but do see a therapist.  There's no shame in it and they can show you SO many ways to breath.

I went through a lot of self-hatred myself.  Still do, in fact, but I've learned to ignore that voice, or at least sneer at it.  Took some time, I will admit.

*hug*


Feeling shitty makes you feel pretty shitty, doesn't it?

It does expecially right now Thank you *Ironic I work at the psy department at my college*
I Have a therapist I have seen  her for about two years

let me ask you this how do you deal with grief?

Phane wrote:

It does expecially right now Thank you *Ironic I work at the psy department at my college*
I Have a therapist I have seen  her for about two years

let me ask you this how do you deal with grief?

Grief, in my experience, is something only time can heal.  It also depends on the kind of grief.  If I'm mourning a person's death, my personal method is to think of the three fates weaving the tapestry of the universe.  Each thread in the tapestry is a life, intertwining with many other threads.  Although the thread of the person or animal I cared about has ended, it is still a permanent part of that tapestry.  I am comforted by the thought that somewhere it is possible to look at that tapestry and see the thread of my friend's life.  For me it's immortality.  Although time has moved past the end of that life, the life itself is eternal and complete.  It will always be there, even if it will no longer cross the thread of my own life.

But even with that, there is a lot of crying.  With grief the adage "this too shall pass" is not trite in the least.  There is horrible pain and it's sometimes impossible to believe that it will pass - or worse, that it WILL pass and you'll feel terribly guilty that you're no longer crying.  But after time the tears are replaced by something warmer... fond memories.

I still cry for people who died nearly thirty years ago, on occasion, but mostly I remember the good things.

Like I said, it depends on the kind of grief.  I picked what, for me, has been the worst kind of grief - death.  I don't know what you're grieving, but whatever it is I think it's safe to say that crying is a good way to begin coping with it.

Phane wrote:
Am going to say I almost did it Sunday morning.
Then a friend called

I"m glad you're still here.

Phane wrote:
This kind of shit - society tries to pretend it doesn't exist.  Only by acknowledging it and discussing it can we beat it.

(People are afraid of the shame) the people who want to kill themselves
and the public= I think just dont want to see pain because its real you cant hide from it

Shame is a very dangerous thing.

All different levels of it.

I have a friend that lives in a tent right now... and I won't recommend that to anyone, but he is one of my oldest friends and helped me through a really hard time in life and gave me confidence in an area I truly needed.

There is and will never be any shame in our friendship.

The way I like to roll.
No shame with myself.
Hey, I ultimately have to be comfortable with myself and my life.

We're all Captains:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgj1R3UM0d8

Faith EnFire wrote:
hey all rough morning. long story, same old story. something's gotta change

now, I'm usually here monday thru friday 6am-2;30pm so feel free to PM
today is an exception. I won't be on much if at all.

but hugs for those that need it, posters and lurkers alike.
Like they say, we love you in a very special way

I hope you feel better soon

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Hi Phane,
How are you doing today? It's good to see you again!!!

Tim

am living and working and trying to  keep busy you how are you?

Jules NYC wrote:

Shame is a very dangerous thing.

All different levels of it.

I have a friend that lives in a tent right now... and I won't recommend that to anyone, but he is one of my oldest friends and helped me through a really hard time in life and gave me confidence in an area I truly needed.

There is and will never be any shame in our friendship.

The way I like to roll.
No shame with myself.
Hey, I ultimately have to be comfortable with myself and my life.

We're all Captains:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgj1R3UM0d8

thats humbling thank you

Phane wrote:

I hope you feel better soon

ditto, my dear

Faith EnFire wrote:
hey all rough morning. long story, same old story. something's gotta change

now, I'm usually here monday thru friday 6am-2;30pm so feel free to PM
today is an exception. I won't be on much if at all.

but hugs for those that need it, posters and lurkers alike.
Like they say, we love you in a very special way

*huggs*

E P O N A wrote:
This gave me a very well needed smile today:


I'm not doing well, at all today.
Hugs to all. We will all hang in there.

Sometimes we have those difficult times that render us feeling snowed under and helpless. In the moment there may be little we can do to alleviate that which is troubling us.  It's so frustrating.  The thing is we are still not beaten.

Sometimes it helps to remind ourselves that it is something that we will overcome (not always an easy task) and then turn our attention to something that we find pleasing.

Yesterday I was going to bed unhappy with the total results from the day.  I was focusing on what I didn't accomplish so I was not feeling well.  I stopped right there when I recognized what I was doing and took stock of all the things that I did accomplish and were of positive/good things.  It immediately changed my attitude and I went to sleep peacefully.

BTW, did you know that when space aliens secretly invade our planet and take over our bodies we can rid them by spraying the infected persons with milk or mustard? And if you encounter a space alien directly you can kill them by spraying them with purified water or milk; although the milk takes longer to subdue them.  Mustard will weaken them and bring them to their knees, but one will need to finish the kill by using purified water or milk.

E P O N A wrote:
This gave me a very well needed smile today:


I'm not doing well, at all today.
Hugs to all. We will all hang in there.

Hugs for you

Star Child wrote:
BTW, did you know that when space aliens secretly invade our planet and take over our bodies we can rid them by spraying the infected persons with milk or mustard? And if you encounter a space alien directly you can kill them by spraying them with purified water or milk; although the milk takes longer to subdue them.  Mustard will weaken them and bring them to their knees, but one will need to finish the kill by using purified water or milk.

O_O

Star Child wrote:

Sometimes we have those difficult times that render us feeling snowed under and helpless. In the moment there may be little we can do to alleviate that which is troubling us.  It's so frustrating.  The thing is we are still not beaten.

Sometimes it helps to remind ourselves that it is something that we will overcome (not always an easy task) and then turn our attention to something that we find pleasing.

Yesterday I was going to bed unhappy with the total results from the day.  I was focusing on what I didn't accomplish so I was not feeling well.  I stopped right there when I recognized what I was doing and took stock of all the things that I did accomplish and were of positive/good things.  It immediately changed my attitude and I went to sleep peacefully.

I wish there was a "quick fix" for those times where nothing works.

But I did do what you did yesterday the other day and it did help a little.

Phane wrote:
Hugs for you

thanks

E P O N A wrote:

I wish there was a "quick fix" for those times where nothing works.

But I did do what you did yesterday the other day and it did help a little.

I know this may seem silly But sometimes I dance like a Zombie and it just makes my day

E P O N A wrote:

I wish there was a "quick fix" for those times where nothing works.

But I did do what you did yesterday the other day and it did help a little.

OMG! I so know that wish for quick fixes. And I wonder will it ever let up enough just to let me catch my breath. Still I believe I can make it through and somehow I do.  I swear, I see so many miracles in my life everyday. Half the time I don't even understand how things work out when they do.  I just know I can't give up.

Phane wrote:

I know this may seem silly But sometimes I dance like a Zombie and it just makes my day

Zombie dance

Phane wrote:

I know this may seem silly But sometimes I dance like a Zombie and it just makes my day

Hehe. Usually I try to do yoga or dance, but I also have physical illness, and I would so do that right now, because it totally helps! but I'm in pain. Boo :C

Star Child wrote:

OMG! I so know that wish for quick fixes. And I wonder will it ever let up enough just to let me catch my breath. Still I believe I can make it through and somehow I do.  I swear, I see so many miracles in my life everyday. Half the time I don't even understand how things work out when they do.  I just know I can't give up.

My kitty is trying to be my quick fix. He won't get off my boobs and he's stroking my face.

While I haven't found any quick fixes that are acceptable, at least I know of some things that make it a bit more bearable even if it is only 1%. It's better than 0%.

Star Child wrote:

Zombie dance

The Monster Mash

Phane wrote:

I know this may seem silly But sometimes I dance like a Zombie and it just makes my day

Distraction therapy is good.  Distraction therapy combined with laugh therapy is even better!

Star Child wrote:
BTW, did you know that when space aliens secretly invade our planet and take over our bodies we can rid them by spraying the infected persons with milk or mustard? And if you encounter a space alien directly you can kill them by spraying them with purified water or milk; although the milk takes longer to subdue them.  Mustard will weaken them and bring them to their knees, but one will need to finish the kill by using purified water or milk.

This is the only reason humanity made it through the seventies.

E P O N A wrote:

The Monster Mash

Lawrence Guy wrote:

This is the only reason humanity made it through the seventies.

and here I was thinking mustard was only good for ham sandwiches

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Distraction therapy is good.  Distraction therapy combined with laugh therapy is even better!

I  must learn to multi-task.

Star Child wrote:

It's totally stuck in my head now.

E P O N A wrote:

Hehe. Usually I try to do yoga or dance, but I also have physical illness, and I would so do that right now, because it totally helps! but I'm in pain. Boo :C

Think of me doing a zombie dance  to lady gaga and bringing you chocolat chip cookies

Phane wrote:

thats humbling thank you

This is my friend.

He technically died TWO times.

I met him at a bar, as a waitress of all things, back from a boating trip... by myself, alone on a chair with my feet up on another...

Not giving a shit...

and he is still a dear friend.

Would give the shirt off his back for someone else...

Went to jail for 6 + months because he defended a woman.
Her boyfriend was abusing her.

Knocked him out.

I don't want anyone to serve time, but damn, what valour.

Phane wrote:

Think of me doing a zombie dance  to lady gaga and bringing you chocolat chip cookies

I really did lol.

Faith EnFire wrote:
morning all
back here today

'ello.

E P O N A wrote:
I've finally adjusted to the new meds (they don't make me feel sick like they did in the beginning) but they've only improved my condition in a what I believe, a negligible way. I'm glad I'm not worse though, could always be worse.
My pain and other physical symptoms acting up nearly all the time aren't helping anything. I'm just so glad for John.

Its a wonderful thing that you have someone to support you on your not so great days