Kayelless wrote:
made it here safe.  tomorrow we go to the funeral home and start the process.  I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.

Like i said on the other thread, will be thinking of you.
I know what it's like to lose a loved one and the pain you are feeling now.
We are all here for you and do care. xxxxx

ForSaleByOwner wrote:

We're with you.

ForSaleByOwner wrote:
im not so fucked up anymore,.. i actually feel pretty good, hope it lasts! just going to try to stay positive. now i have to get back in shape so hopefully i can look for better representation (my agent sucks ass) and book some shoots!

Awesome! Great idea. Go for it and I'll be cheering you on.

Good luck!

Kayelless wrote:
Hey gang, please support our new thread which is an off shoot of this one
https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … age=1#last

Are we going to be ending this thread and continuing in the other, or running both at the same time?

This might be a good time to renew the discussion about pinning a help thread in this forum.  I think many people are not seeing this thread because it floats around.  Also, pinning a thread might make it appear to be more of a serious resource.  People who are suicidal tend to lurk; I don't think the help threads should do the same.

2 cents.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Are we going to be ending this thread and continuing in the other, or running both at the same time?

This might be a good time to renew the discussion about pinning a help thread in this forum.  I think many people are not seeing this thread because it floats around.  Also, pinning a thread might make it appear to be more of a serious resource.  People who are suicidal tend to lurk; I don't think the help threads should do the same.

2 cents.

That's an idea. Maybe pin one and leave the other floating. Pinned threads often get ignored. I'd say pin this one and leave the other floating.

Anyone else?

Natasha240 wrote:
I asked a Mod if we could have this thread stickied a few weeks ago. THey said no, that we should just keep bumping it like we do, because noone reads the stickied threads.

How is everyone doing?

I'm doing good. More concerned with others.

I kinda thought the same thing. Sticky threads get ignored. I don't mind bumping these.

How are YOU?

Kayelless wrote:
Hey gang, please support our new thread which is an off shoot of this one
https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … age=1#last

...Stop posting here, and go to the NEW thread...

https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … age=1#last

Dark Angel Photography wrote:

...Stop posting here, and go to the NEW thread...

https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … age=1#last

I'm sorry, but the new thread is not a support thread.  It is more of a memorial thread and is cluttered with poetry that really doesn't express what depressed and suicidal people need to hear.  I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it serves a different purpose than this thread.  I do post in the other thread, but it is not turning into something that looks like it will be helpful to people who are in need.

An important point: when the thread is named after a particular person, it devalues the experiences that other people are living through.  We need to pay attention to each and every person who comes here for help, and not have the shadow of someone else looming over us saying that, somehow, that person is more important than the ones who are suffering now.   Everyone is important.

So leave the other thread as a memorial thread, but keep this thread for people who are hurting and need to talk to people who've gone through the same issues.  This thread has been around for a long time; it's premature to end it.

Carrie_K wrote:
I would like to support this thread and help out those who need it. What do I need to do?

Hard question to answer.  Mostly be sympathetic and available.

The most important thing is to understand what the different kinds of depression are, how a person feels when depressed, and why a person can reach a point where suicide seems like the only option left.  I can't point you to a resource that teaches that, although they must exist, because I learned these things the hard way.

After that, learn what NOT to say to a suicidal person (there have been discussions on this topic in this thread), and emphasize that a person who is desperate needs to get professional help.

Other participants in this thread have taken classes on the subject; you might read back and see which ones mention it, and contact them for more information.

Above all, realize that almost all of us, regardless of our experiences, are not qualified to do much more than steer people towards professional help, and make them feel like they're not alone.

Also realize that it can be very emotionally painful to try to help.  People who are depressed are difficult to communicate with, by nature of their depression.  You can reach out to a person who is in desperate need, and then not hear anything from them for a week.  You have to accept the fact that you will worry about people, and that you will worry that you will say the wrong thing.

And also, you have to accept the fact that if you try to help enough people, eventually there will be a failure.  One of them will succumb to their disease, and you will be left shaken.  Be sure you're willing to accept that possibility before you try to connect with people who are suffering from life-threating illnesses.


As I usually do, here is my standard disclaimer: the above opinions are my own and do not necessarily represent the opinions of anyone else on earth.  Use your judgment and check other sources.

EDIT: I have to go to work now.  I'll be back this evening.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

I'm sorry, but the new thread is not a support thread.  It is more of a memorial thread and is cluttered with poetry that really doesn't express what depressed and suicidal people need to hear.  I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it serves a different purpose than this thread.  I do post in the other thread, but it is not turning into something that looks like it will be helpful to people who are in need.

An important point: when the thread is named after a particular person, it devalues the experiences that other people are living through.  We need to pay attention to each and every person who comes here for help, and not have the shadow of someone else looming over us saying that, somehow, that person is more important than the ones who are suffering now.   Everyone is important.

So leave the other thread as a memorial thread, but keep this thread for people who are hurting and need to talk to people who've gone through the same issues.  This thread has been around for a long time; it's premature to end it.

Just want you to know that it was my idea to name that thread as a reminder to others that despite what we might see on the surface this can happen to anyone.  I did not intend for the thread to become as a memorial thread.  Once I saw all of the memorial type comments I realized that the title draws folks into thinking that way.  I don't know if poems and all that matter to me.  Folks should feel free to express their feelings, however I agree that we should remember to stand ready in support and try to share what we are dealing with.

Suffering from depression or having been in a suicidal state of mind is not a requirement for posting on this thread.  We only ask that those who do post are aware that many of us are and have been there.

Carrie_K wrote:
Well, I haven't taken classes, but have been there myself. I've gone through therapy several times in my life. I've lost friends to suicide and have been a shoulder to cry on for many others facing depression. I've helped models on here with social disorders and body issues that I didn't even know, so I guess I have a gift of gab.
If nothing else, I can be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a calm voice in a storm.

As in my post above this thread exists in support of those of us, like yourself, who are suffering from depression or have been in such a state.  As artists here in the MM community we aren't so very unique.  My hope is to let others know they are not alone in the fight and that we understand what they are going through.

Kayelless wrote:
Just want you to know that it was my idea to name that thread as a reminder to others that despite what we might see on the surface this can happen to anyone.  I did not intend for the thread to become as a memorial thread.

Understood.  I think both threads have their places.   I also think it would be a terrible idea to end this thread.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

I'm sorry, but the new thread is not a support thread.  It is more of a memorial thread and is cluttered with poetry that really doesn't express what depressed and suicidal people need to hear.  I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it serves a different purpose than this thread.  I do post in the other thread, but it is not turning into something that looks like it will be helpful to people who are in need.

An important point: when the thread is named after a particular person, it devalues the experiences that other people are living through.  We need to pay attention to each and every person who comes here for help, and not have the shadow of someone else looming over us saying that, somehow, that person is more important than the ones who are suffering now.   Everyone is important.

So leave the other thread as a memorial thread, but keep this thread for people who are hurting and need to talk to people who've gone through the same issues.  This thread has been around for a long time; it's premature to end it.

Agreed. I like our thread

Carrie_K wrote:
Well, I haven't taken classes, but have been there myself. I've gone through therapy several times in my life. I've lost friends to suicide and have been a shoulder to cry on for many others facing depression. I've helped models on here with social disorders and body issues that I didn't even know, so I guess I have a gift of gab.
If nothing else, I can be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a calm voice in a storm.

You pretty much got it. That is the core of this thread, you'll do fine

Carrie_K wrote:
I would like to support this thread and help out those who need it. What do I need to do?

Welcome, Carrie. Any and all are welcome here.

My advice is to scan through the last 5 pages or so of posts to get an idea of this thread overall and the people in it.

Thanks for joining us!

Kayelless wrote:
It's been an rough week.  I need to regroup and keep moving forward.
Hope everybody is doing okay.

Good thought. Regroup. Relax as much as possible. Take a little "You Time" and do something for yourself. I know you're going through rough times so it isn't easy. It's OK to take some time to be a little selfish.

Dee wrote:
I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown have been all week.....My grandfather is in the hospital and not doing very well, the doctors said they can do nothing else for him...I have 2 teenagers who wont give up there BS to help me a little....money is tight....bills are due......I have no friends to talk to......and i am cooped up in this house all day long.......

the only saving grace I have is my 4 month old daughter who is the most awesome therapy anyone could ever have...........

You always have caring people here. I wish you the best. I hope things improve for you. I definitely know how you feel.

I'm always available to talk if you need.

Dee wrote:
I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown have been all week.....My grandfather is in the hospital and not doing very well, the doctors said they can do nothing else for him...I have 2 teenagers who wont give up there BS to help me a little....money is tight....bills are due......I have no friends to talk to......and i am cooped up in this house all day long.......

the only saving grace I have is my 4 month old daughter who is the most awesome therapy anyone could ever have...........

You have friends here, whether you know us or not.

I was in the same situation with my grandfather just a few months ago.  I went to see him four times, and it really helped a lot.  Maybe if you take your two teenagers to visit their great-grandfather, they'll at least see a glimmer of what you're feeling and will cut down their BS (might be a long shot, but who knows?).

I'm just rambling; the main thing is we're here for you.  That feeling of being on the verge of a breakdown -- I've found that social contact is really the only thing that helps.

Do you have parents/siblings that you can call and talk to about this?

Keep loving that daughter; keep loving those teens, even with the BS.

Carrie_K wrote:
I found out this weekend that my great uncle shot himself in the dining room of his house. That's two suicides close to me in a week. I've felt much anger this week.

*sits down next to Carrie*
care for some coffee?

Kayelless wrote:

*sits down next to Carrie*
care for some coffee?

Better make mine decaf. I've had my moments of sadness, but I feel quilty because what I feel most is anger at those people for their selfishness.

Carrie_K wrote:

Better make mine decaf. I've had my moments of sadness, but I feel quilty because what I feel most is anger at those people for their selfishness.

I've never had to feel that kind of pain.  I know I don't want to.  All I can offer is a moment of friendship.... *huggs*

Kayelless wrote:

I've never had to feel that kind of pain.  I know I don't want to.  All I can offer is a moment of friendship.... *huggs*

And it's greatly appreciated. I'm trying to put things behind me, but the anger eats at me and sours in my stomach. I've been there, I understand what drives someone to do it. But the people left behind are the ones who really suffer.

Carrie_K wrote:
I found out this weekend that my great uncle shot himself in the dining room of his house. That's two suicides close to me in a week. I've felt much anger this week.

I'm so sorry, Carrie. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things right.