Scottsworld71 wrote:
ill be visiting this thread frequently Thanks!

Please do!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Please do!

*searches email for a certain picture*

Yo! What up? I got internet, now!

Kayelless wrote:

*searches email for a certain picture*

Yo! What up? I got internet, now!

Sorry....lot going on and it slipped my mind. I remember now, though. LOL! No heat in my house last night or tonight....freezing! Good way to start the new year, huh?

I'll get it to you soon.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Sorry....lot going on and it slipped my mind. I remember now, though. LOL! No heat in my house last night or tonight....freezing! Good way to start the new year, huh?

I'll get it to you soon.

Oh, noes!

Lawrence Guy wrote:
So I got my car "fixed."

Turns out it was a mental deficiency on my part, and nothing at all wrong with the car.  Just so happens that sometimes the steering wheel gets in a locked position and the key won't turn in that state.  I don't know why it gets locked, and I'm not sure how to unlock it (I got my license three months ago; lived with NYC mass transit for 35 years before that; give me a break), but I had my father look at it and he wiggled his fingers over it and had the car running in 10 seconds.

Makes me tilt my head and blink a lot.

I did, however, get the seatbelt unjammed on my own, so I can find at least some redemption in that.

And of course, this all means that I'm back on my meds!  Hooray!

How's everyone else doing?

I'm still laughing over the car story, myself.

Kayelless wrote:

Oh, noes!

It's actually kinda funny. I'm waiting on my son to wake up before I start up my air compressor to start working on the heat. He had a friend sleep over last night. Just like camping indoors!!! The dogs are so cold, they're sleeping right next to us which they usually don't do.

Temporary setback. In the meantime, I'm typing with cold hands but as long as I keep them moving, I'm fine.

I'll try to get the pics to you today or tomorrow. I got a shoot later today and heat or no heat, I don't like to cancel shoots.

Lawrence Guy wrote:
So I got my car "fixed."

Turns out it was a mental deficiency on my part, and nothing at all wrong with the car.  Just so happens that sometimes the steering wheel gets in a locked position and the key won't turn in that state.  I don't know why it gets locked, and I'm not sure how to unlock it (I got my license three months ago; lived with NYC mass transit for 35 years before that; give me a break), but I had my father look at it and he wiggled his fingers over it and had the car running in 10 seconds.

Makes me tilt my head and blink a lot.

I did, however, get the seatbelt unjammed on my own, so I can find at least some redemption in that.

And of course, this all means that I'm back on my meds!  Hooray!

How's everyone else doing?

Doing good. Cold, but good.

The car thing....the steering wheel lock is part of the anti-theft stuff they put into cars. If you turn the car off with the steering wheel in a position where it's trying to turn the wheels (remember, power steering you can't always tell) the wheel locks in that position when you turn the key off. However, with no power steering all that force trying to turn the wheels gets locked with it. All that force is on the key. The trick is, turn the wheel a little bit (you'll know which way to turn it....it'll only turn one way) then turn your key to start it.

The seatbelt, sometimes they just lock up for no apparent reason. Sometimes a quick jerk on them will free them up, sometimes it won't. Not much help I can give there.

Good luck!

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

It's actually kinda funny. I'm waiting on my son to wake up before I start up my air compressor to start working on the heat. He had a friend sleep over last night. Just like camping indoors!!! The dogs are so cold, they're sleeping right next to us which they usually don't do.

Temporary setback. In the meantime, I'm typing with cold hands but as long as I keep them moving, I'm fine.

I'll try to get the pics to you today or tomorrow. I got a shoot later today and heat or no heat, I don't like to cancel shoots.

My picture can wait. Take care of your heat and other business. I was just reminding you, but I had that setback this week so don't worry.

Natasha240 wrote:
Hey everyone, how are you?

I've been ok lately. I'm just trying to go one day at a time. I notice if I start thinking about the future, where my life is going, etc., that is when I start feeling worse.

So, how is the heat situation going? Did you get the parts you need?

I'm almost the opposite. When I look back at all the opportunities I blown in the past...

Kayelless wrote:

I'm almost the opposite. When I look back at all the opportunities I blown in the past...

I can't look in the past or the future without getting depressed.

My past sucks ass (lots of failures & bad decisions), and the future always seems bright, until something fucks it up. Living for the here-and-now keeps me sane, and I've learned from the past how to prepare for the future. And I keep thinking "this time it'll last." So far so good...keeping my fingers crossed, hopes up, and working hard to keep things going great.

Natasha240 wrote:
Hey everyone, how are you?

I've been ok lately. I'm just trying to go one day at a time. I notice if I start thinking about the future, where my life is going, etc., that is when I start feeling worse.

So, how is the heat situation going? Did you get the parts you need?

I got one of the parts. The most important one....the safety trip. Now I can at least run the boiler without worrying about a fire in case of a backdraft. I just can't run it at full power until I take care of the rest of it. It'll keep the house warm, just takes longer to heat up which is no big deal since I usually maintain at a certain temp.

I'm glad you're OK. I've been feeling really good lately. Holidays are over...that's a big part of it. I get a little bummed about my future, too....and my past. If I focus on the present, it's even worse. But, I seem to have that karmic luck for lack of a better term. Things always seem to work out for me.

Hoping your ulcers get better too.

Scottsworld71 wrote:
the only thing about dwelling on past problems is using them as reference points as to which mistakes to avoid making again, beyond that, let it go, you cant change it. As far as thinking about the future, I think about as far ahead as summer time, beyond that, im looking at today. How can you have fun and enjoy today if you thoughts are fill with the unhappiness of yesterday and the fear of what tomorrow may bring?
Enjoy today!

okay, maybe y'all misunderstood my past mistakes comment.  It's not about dwelling on them.  It's about suffering from the repercussions.  It's real easy to talk about living in the moment, but when the moment is full of crap that was brought on by past mistakes it ain't fun 'n games.  Look to the future? Work to overcome? Sure, but neither takes away the pain.

Edit: In years past that was one of the things that drove me to near suicide.  I felt I had fucked up my life beyond repair so I had no more purpose. Many, many tough nights just trying to resist the urge to shut it down.  Probably he only thing that kept me going was the thought of how much it would've hurt my mother.
Fast forward to '07 when she passed away - and I'm glad I was beyond that stage in my life or at least I was so caught up in aiding my family through it I never stopped to consider myself.

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

I can't look in the past or the future without getting depressed.

My past sucks ass (lots of failures & bad decisions), and the future always seems bright, until something fucks it up. Living for the here-and-now keeps me sane, and I've learned from the past how to prepare for the future. And I keep thinking "this time it'll last." So far so good...keeping my fingers crossed, hopes up, and working hard to keep things going great.

I have to say I know what you're talking about, if I think about the past, everything I regret doing seems so much worse, and then when I think about the future, it seems as if I can do so much, and then I think, what if I screw it all up, which is super duper easy for me ? And sometimes, it doesn't even feel as if I have a future worth living for.

Yeah, this thread is getting bookmarked.

Dijana Marcic wrote:

I have to say I know what you're talking about, if I think about the past, everything I regret doing seems so much worse, and then when I think about the future, it seems as if I can do so much, and then I think, what if I screw it all up, which is super duper easy for me ? And sometimes, it doesn't even feel as if I have a future worth living for.

Yeah, this thread is getting bookmarked.

Thanks for posting. I'm glad you found this thread and it's showed that it's useful for you. We usually try to keep it near the first page of OT by posting often.

Keep fighting. Don't ever give up. The future will take care of itself.

Natasha240 wrote:
I would agree about the past. Thinking about it depresses me too, for many reasons. First, it makes me nostalgic for a time when I wasnt so fucked up. I start to miss the "care free" days of when I was younger, and the good times I had. Then I start to wish I could go back. Yeah, if wishes were dollars.....

Also in line with what some have said, I often think about when things starting going majorly wrong, and what I could have done differently.  I think both of these depress me so much because I am powerless over any of it. What's done is done, and the past is gone.

If I could go back and live my life again knowing what I know now, I'd be the scariest kid in elementary school.

Seriously, the only thing I would have done differently is I would have sought treatment when I was 19 instead of when I was 29.  But I didn't, and things still worked out for me.  So maybe the past isn't as important as the choices you make today.

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Seriously, the only thing I would have done differently is I would have sought treatment when I was 19 instead of when I was 29.

Bingo.Same here,but I was seeking out help,but my problem is that I didn't exactly have the most money back then,actually,on Long Island,I was basicly in poverty,and the saying is,you get what you pay for.
So I basicly gave up,and somehow found a therapist last year,unfortunately for me probably too late for me

Kayelless wrote:

Oh, noes!

What resolution do you want these and how many do you want? I took 4.

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

What resolution do you want these and how many do you want? I took 4.

typical of what you would use here.

Chris Rifkin wrote:
Bingo.Same here,but I was seeking out help,but my problem is that I didn't exactly have the most money back then,actually,on Long Island,I was basicly in poverty,and the saying is,you get what you pay for.
So I basicly gave up,and somehow found a therapist last year,unfortunately for me probably too late for me

That's funny.  When I was 19, I wasn't poor but I didn't seek treatment.  When I was 29, I was dirt broke and I DID seek treatment.  I got it by enrolling myself in a clinical trial for a new antidepressant.  Not only did I not have to pay anything, but they paid ME $20 everytime I went in for my checkup.  I also lucked out and ended up in the control group that was given Paxil, which worked very well for me, weight gain notwithstanding.  Anyway, long story short -- I pulled myself out of that particular hole over the next 5 1/2 years.

BTW, it's NEVER too late.  In May of 2008 I had reached the point where I had given up all hope, and had *accepted* the fact that it was my "destiny" to kill myself.  I called for help because that's what I'd promised I would do when things got bad.  I thought it would do nothing more than extend my life by about a week.  Instead, I have come to understand what the word "salvation" means, and not in any religious sense.

--Guy

Chris Rifkin wrote:

Bingo.Same here,but I was seeking out help,but my problem is that I didn't exactly have the most money back then,actually,on Long Island,I was basicly in poverty,and the saying is,you get what you pay for.
So I basicly gave up,and somehow found a therapist last year,unfortunately for me probably too late for me

Too late? How do you mean? It is never too late to get help, and get healthy

Kayelless wrote:
What Natasha said, "what's done is done," and that's kind of what sucks. We can't go back and change it.
I did dumb things that hurt good people and was too busy being depressed about stuff to set myself up for a better life. Hence I'm living with my past mistakes while trying to stumble ahead... feels like I'm running through lava

Cosign 100%

Chris Rifkin wrote:
Bingo.Same here,but I was seeking out help,but my problem is that I didn't exactly have the most money back then,actually,on Long Island,I was basicly in poverty,and the saying is,you get what you pay for.
So I basicly gave up,and somehow found a therapist last year,unfortunately for me probably too late for me

Natasha240 wrote:
Too late? How do you mean? It is never too late to get help, and get healthy

I'm with Natasha and Lawrence. It's never too late.

Natasha240 wrote:
So I woke up this afternoon, in kind of a funk. Then I started to get that oh-too-familiar feeling of dread, brooding on the suckiness of life. But then I read one of Photons posts about farting, and I could NOT stop laughing, I tell you!

Then I ran on the treadmill for a while, till I was so exhausted all of the previous downer thoughts stopped. Now I'm ok again.

Whatever works!

WOOHOOOOOO. I'm so happy for you I could fart!