Faith EnFire wrote:
just a bump

Coffee bump?

E P O N A wrote:
Coffee bump?

sure

oh my grandpa
http://www.gmtoday.com/obits/freeman/ob … /20/02.htm

E P O N A wrote:
Sorry for your loss

Faith EnFire wrote:
He had a hard exterior and there was no complaining, but he was a softie.

I'm very proud of him and my grandmother and all their accomplishments.

soooo

TGIF

TGIF Hugs to everyone!

Faith EnFire wrote:
Afternoon bump. Just wanted you all to know I was thinking of my thread friends

Weekend hugs

Sammi Sunshine wrote:
Rant time?

Recently, I almost killed myself in an act of self-infliction. My whole life I have battled severe depression, social anxiety, drug and alcohol addictions, and eating disorders. I have an extremely happy life, however. In six days, my hubby and I are relocating our newlywed asses to California from West Virginia, to be happy and make a better life for our family than we could ever have here.

I don't know why I've been so depressed. I've been throwing up, almost died (terrified the shit out of my poor husband and his parents.) I don't know what's going on. I'm so happy. And I even have better self-esteem than before. It's just like, lately, when I get depressed, I get severely depressed, I guess, and act out. I dunno.

Hi Sammi! I'm sorry you are going through this but you are doing the right thing to talk about it. I'm very open about my condition. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from an explosion that left me with massive 3rd degree burns. Along with that I have chronic, severe depression and anxiety problems. I've been in therapy for sometime now so my life is much better. But I still have down days.

I suspect there is no "Why" for you being depressed. Those of us with a depressive disorder get depressed when everything is great and we should be happy. Some of us self-medicate with drugs and drink to try to escape the sadness. But it doesn't work, it makes it worse.

The causes of depression are quite complex. Very often it is a combination of genetic, psychological, and environmental factors. Regardless of the cause, depression is almost always treatable. You do not need to determine the cause of your depression to get help.

There are wonderful, caring people here in this thread that are happy to help if we can. Feel free to private message me if you want, I talk with many people that way, You might be surprised how prevalent depression is. Sometimes it helps to unload with someone who can't judge you. I hope for all the best for you Sammi!

Tim

Enfire Photography wrote:
morning
fingers crossed. might be working on a very good model. negotiating rate. honestly, this model was the reason i got into model photography..
didn't have much of a chance to shoot this weekend. I'm going to try to do it this week.
must. shoot. something

beautiful

Every time I sit down with a bowl of cereal Jak decides it's cuddle time.. and he doesn't want any of my food.  Silly kitty.

Star Child wrote:

beautiful

Every time I sit down with a bowl of cereal Jak decides it's cuddle time.. and he doesn't want any of my food.  Silly kitty.

mm cereal
i have the urge for nachos...and it's cheesy goodness

Tim Little Photography wrote:
I had fried chicken for breakfast yesterday.

mm fried chicken
sounds awfully good

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Okay, so this is a new one for me.

I'm convinced that I've been in a depressive episode for the last three weeks or so.  The odd thing is that I don't have the associated mood changes.  What I do have is extreme fatigue and lack of motivation, but emotionally I rate myself as "very good."

I attribute the causes to 1) turmoil regarding my new job, 2) turmoil regarding a potential romance, and 3) somewhat different dosages for my meds - although the med changes happened after this episode started.

I find it interesting.

Hi Lawrence,
Tiredness and lack of motivation are major problems for me and they all come from my chronic depression. Even if I don't feel sad, there are days I can't get going to do much of anything. In my case I have slept all day and even avoided things I enjoy doing. With the triggers you listed I would not be surprised if its from a depressive state. I hope everything works out well and you are feeling better soon my friend.

Tim

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Today was the real beginning of the end for me. Since becoming disabled my income has gone from $60,000+ to less that $900 a month. Today my car was repossessed and the sheriff posted the foreclosure sale date on my front door. October 11th. It's times like these that I envy people who have family they can turn to.

I'm too broke to file bankruptcy so I am trying to get the Legal Aid people to file before the sale date. If they do so before the sale date It gets cancelled and I have three months to either get to where I can get caught up or find a new place to live. The National Mental Health Association has 156 private homes, nice ones, where people with PTSD can live with others who share the same problem. There is a 2-3 year waiting list. I contacted the Delaware Dept of Housing, same thing, 3+ year waiting list for housing assistance.

I just needed to vent, I'm not looking for answers, there are none. My only hope is to find a room share that I can afford on Craigslist.

I love the wonderful people here in this thread. I actually thought about you when I was having suicidal  ideations. Thanks for caring.

I wish I could help you.
If I could I would.

I'll send good thoughts:)
They are very powerful from me.
-Jules

Jules NYC wrote:

I wish I could help you.
If I could I would.

I'll send good thoughts:)
They are very powerful from me.
-Jules

Thank you Jules! Good Karma, good prayers, good thoughts. That stuff works and I need it. Bless you my kind friend!
-Tim

E P O N A wrote:
*hugs to everyone*

Happy Tuesday.

Star Child wrote:
It can be extremely difficult to fight off life's assaults when we are struggling within ourselves just to meet each day.  I want you all to know that despite the above truth we can and we will overcome and win our battles.  Regardless of what befalls you we are meant to overcome them.

thank you. I really need to hear/read that just now

just hit a really low spot. don't know where it came from...divebombed from the big bad D side

Faith EnFire wrote:

thank you. I really need to hear/read that just now

just hit a really low spot. don't know where it came from...divebombed from the big bad D side

I'm sorry you are feeling down Faith. If it helps just know that the difficult times you go through turn into important, life saving lessons because you share yourself with us. You're here for us all the time and I know my life is better for having your wisdom to consider. You know we are here for you and I'm a PM away if you want. Bless you sweet Faith.

Tim

Tim Little Photography wrote:

I'm sorry you are feeling down Faith. If it helps just know that the difficult times you go through turn into important, life saving lessons because you share yourself with us. You're here for us all the time and I know my life is better for having your wisdom to consider. You know we are here for you and I'm a PM away if you want. Bless you sweet Faith.

Tim

Thanks, Tim
It was just a passing shade. perked up by the end of the night. But it really swept my feet out from under me at the time

Faith EnFire wrote:
quotes for the day
" Sometimes, people just say 'I'm fine' because its difficult to find someone who actually listens and cares about your life"
"what we remember can always be changed, what we forget we are always"-richard shelton

At least it feels that way sometimes