Tim Little Photography wrote:

I just called my Dr. for some clarification. He told me not to worry about the crying. He brought up a good point and that is I also laugh a ton more and I have developed and maintained a healthy loving relationship since getting started.

He says with the stuff I have to deal with most anyone would cry because first I have to re-experience it as a 12-year-old.

I'm sorry I burdened y'all with this. I need to stop sharing everything here. It's not healthy.

no burden. that's why this thread is here

Natasha240 wrote:
I think I may have some sort of unidentified eating disorder, don't laugh. It's embarrassing to even talk about, because it's so stupid and weird. Just thought I'd ask if any of you knowledgeable folks have any ideas. Also, if I did need to see a doctor about it, I don't know what kind of doctor to see, honestly.

I will literally starve myself. I hate eating. But the thing is, it's not because of body image issues, or anything like that. I'm not afraid of eating because of getting fat. I don't purge. I don't exercise excessively (barely any, anymore tbh).

It's almost like I can't be bothered, to the point of extremes. I eat maybe once a day, and it's at the very late end of the night, when I'm so hungry I know I won't be able to sleep without something on my stomach. I've only eaten about 1000 cals in 3 days now if I had to guess. I have had a heachache for 3 days. The dumb thing is, even when I'm so hungry I feel sick, I still can't bother.

It sounds dumb, I know, but it's kind of like I can't think of what to eat, so I just don't. It's like it's all just too much of a pain in the ass, so I just forgo. I can't figure out what my problem is, and I can't seem to force myself to just cram something down. This has been going on for a while now, and I know it's not healthy. I just don't understand it, or how to not do it.

Has anyone heard of anything like this, or have any ideas?

not to that extreme, but yeah sometimes eating is a bother-however to look at me to now from when I started, its obviously not much of an issue.

do you drink stuff? maybe you can change it out for ensures or boost so you are still getting nutrition. pop one open and stick a straw in it and there you go
and of course, talk to your doctor about it.

radicaledward wrote:
I was raped when I was nine, and abused physically and emotionally in a past relationship. I'm 27 now and I'm still angry and broken. I don't feel like I'll ever get over it. And I hate myself for that. It's been 18 years, I should be over it. I just want to sleep and not have to be awake. Does it ever get better?

yes it can get better but you have to put some footwork in

have you tried therapy or group support?

radicaledward wrote:
I've had therapy, been on meds since I was 15, tried hypnosis, self-help books. Nothing seems to do any good. I'm at a loss.

support groups?

are you happy with your therapist?

radicaledward wrote:
yeah, support groups as well. nothing helps long term.

and are you happy with your therapist?

Here's a question: what do you think would happen to you if you let go of all the anger and pain?

radicaledward wrote:
yeah, support groups as well. nothing helps long term.

I don't know your story so forgive me if you think I'm talking out of my ass.  Support groups, therapy, self-help books, and all that are not external forces that act on you.  You have to be an active participant - you have to give yourself fully to the process without holding back.  Being honest, being willing to expose those things that are most uncomfortable to you, that you keep tightly walled up, is essential for those methods to work.

Nobody is going to be able to touch a magic wand to your forehead and fix things.  You have to meet them halfway and let them see inside you.  It's difficult but necessary.

As I said, I don't know your story.  I don't know how much you've allowed yourself to trust your therapists, or how open you've allowed yourself to be.  But unless you conquer any inhibitions you have about talking about deeply personal matters, progress will not be made.

radicaledward wrote:
I've had therapy, been on meds since I was 15, tried hypnosis, self-help books. Nothing seems to do any good. I'm at a loss.

I'm sending you a private message.

Star Child wrote:
I've been quite busy lately and not up to commenting much.  Today, I check in and see many blessings.  I see new folks coming in and long time members participating.  And I see the most important thing.. support.  Stay in the fight, y'all.  Yes, you are making a difference.

hi stranger

Star Child wrote:
great. now, it's Friday and I don't have anything for show and tell..

yes, you do...you got you. you're worth a show and tell

Faith EnFire wrote:

hi stranger

LOVE THAT

E P O N A wrote:

LOVE THAT

jinx, you owe me a coke!

Faith EnFire wrote:

jinx, you owe me a coke!

Come over!

E P O N A wrote:

Come over!

i wish

Faith EnFire wrote:


i wish

I think it's so sad that a majority of people I talk to and actually like, I will never get to meet.

E P O N A wrote:



I think it's so sad that a majority of people I talk to and actually like, I will never get to meet.

maybe eventually, but right now staying local. hell, right now I don't even travel to Chicago

Natasha240 wrote:
So my wife went out and bought me a lightbox for my birthday. She knew I never would because of the expense.....let's see if it helps me out.

E P O N A wrote:



I think it's so sad that a majority of people I talk to and actually like, I will never get to meet.

I understand that feeling, but it's amazing how often that doesn't hold true.

Jules NYC wrote:
I find the relationship with my parents so completely dissatisfying I visited this thread.

My father's 2nd wife has made it so that I can't visit him anymore..
I despise that woman

Chris Rifkin wrote:

My father's 2nd wife has made it so that I can't visit him anymore..
I despise that woman

That is terrible; I'm sorry.

For me, I don't understand how two completely different people call a lifetime of argument and incompatibility 'Love'.

... and after spending Thanksgiving alone last year and sitting at my parent's dining room table at Christmas on pins and needles, I can only handle so much stress (and I can handle more than people realize).

I'm so tired.

I think I'll take a long nap now.
*tears*

Chris Rifkin wrote:

My father's 2nd wife has made it so that I can't visit him anymore..
I despise that woman

That is terrible; I'm sorry.

For me, I don't understand how two completely different people call a lifetime of argument and incompatibility 'Love'.

... and after spending Thanksgiving alone last year and sitting at my parent's dining room table at Christmas on pins and needles, I can only handle so much stress (and I can handle more than people realize).

I'm so tired.

I think I'll take a long nap now.
*tears*

Jules NYC wrote:

That is terrible; I'm sorry.

For me, I don't understand how two completely different people call a lifetime of argument and incompatibility 'Love'.

... and after spending Thanksgiving alone last year and sitting at my parent's dining room table at Christmas on pins and needles, I can only handle so much stress (and I can handle more than people realize).

I'm so tired.

I think I'll take a long nap now.
*tears*

Ick(which is why you stress never lower your standards and settle)
Family functions are a thing of the past for me....for the most part..
My fathers 2nd wive(refuse to call her my step mom,the word mom or mother will never be used to describe her)every time she knows Im comming by for a holliday always brings this woman with her..I say this woman because the story changes every other year from cousin,sister,to best friend.....and she tries to hook mw up with this woman every time....this woman somehow had 2 kids....totally un disicplined...and the entire time she looks at me wishing a man came into her life to take care of her and her kids.....not going to mention physical appearence and such because I'm sure y'all can guess correctly...
So I have this going on
Then my sister bitching to me about"you need to grow up..cut your hair,stop listening to heavy,metal,become normal....find a normal woman and get married and have kids...most people
just settle(even though she didn't)
This is why I choose to spend the hollidays alone by myself

Chris Rifkin wrote:

Ick(which is why you stress never lower your standards and settle)
Family functions are a thing of the past for me....for the most part..
My fathers 2nd wive(refuse to call her my step mom,the word mom or mother will never be used to describe her)every time she knows Im comming by for a holliday always brings this woman with her..I say this woman because the story changes every other year from cousin,sister,to best friend.....and she tries to hook mw up with this woman every time....this woman somehow had 2 kids....totally un disicplined...and the entire time she looks at me wishing a man came into her life to take care of her and her kids.....not going to mention physical appearence and such because I'm sure y'all can guess correctly...
So I have this going on
Then my sister bitching to me about"you need to grow up..cut your hair,stop listening to heavy,metal,become normal....find a normal woman and get married and have kids...most people
just settle(even though she didn't)
This is why I choose to spend the hollidays alone by myself

I just awakened from my nap.

I wonder why people force their version of happiness upon other people, really I do.
Some people feel that fighting is 'normal'.  I do not.  If someone pisses you off on a daily basis, I'd think I wouldn't even want to be friends with that person.

As far as your father's second wife, what kind of person would try to sabotage a relationship between a father and son?  What a great gal, huh?  I'm sure there is a great back-story to that, but bottom-line, very uncool in every way.

... and what's the deal with she trying to play matchmaker with someone you clearly do not want?  Ugh

My Dad took care of his kid when he divorced his first wife.  My half-sister tried to sabotage every relationship he ever had until my Dad (put his foot down?) and married my mother in 7 weeks.

My half-sister made my Mom's life very complicated.

I have no desire to take on the responsibility of anyone else's kids, an ex-wife... emotional discord, unhappiness - argument, etc. 

No thank you.

As for music, it is what you do.
As for long hair, that is how you want to be.

As for 'being normal'... well, there is no guide book to having a wife, 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket fence, all rolled up in a nice pretty plastic package.

If you want to be married you will.
If you want kids you will.
If you don't you won't.

You can be married and have no kids if that is what you want.
Did anyone ever consider that's a 'Family'?

You can never married and still be happy if that is what you want.
Why do people pity the single?

If you want to play music, you will.
If you want to grow your hair down to your ass, you will.
If you want to Rock out the rest of your life, you will.

It is YOUR will, yes?

I truly believe real happiness comes from daring to be yourself and being satisfied with that.

These things like making money and such are tough for Artists/creative types, but that is the way of the world (good Earth Wind & Fire tune).

Heavy Metal music Rocks
as does Rock
&
many other genres.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiNwcIqN … re=related

LauraMarie wrote:
Great thread. It's a long one, so I've only just begun looking it over. Depression and suicide are devastating. One of my best friends fatally overdosed back in April and my cousin shot himself this past Wednesday.

So sorry to hear of your losses.  You'll find support here, and hopefully be able to better understand the people you lost.

Faith EnFire wrote:
good morning all.
for some of us-its a short week...which is good. been at work for a half hour and my coffee cup is already empty

*sends kitties out to deliver more to you*

Jules NYC wrote:
I wish I could leave this house of madness

E P O N A wrote:

Jules NYC wrote:

You know, and I sincerely mean this...

I have friends for years that wouldn't have said what you just did right now.
I'm deeply moved.

Right now, I'm trying to escape the house with no confrontation before I go to work.
Hopefully, there will be no altercation.

It's not in my nature to *fight*, unfortunately I learned how to many years ago, very well.

I'm not just talking raising a *fist*.

I'll text you today to let you know what's going on.

Please accept my genuine kindness and gratitude right back.