Star Child wrote:
My inner bully has been beating me up all week.  I'm happy that my therapist pointed the abuse out to me during our session this week.  Gotta shut him down.

Kick some bully ass SC, then bring on the funk my friend!

Tim Little Photography wrote:

Welcome to the thread! My name's Tim and I'm here quite a bit. There are several others who are also regulars and you are going to love them. Let me introduce myself by giving you some of my background. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from an explosion years ago that left me badly burned. On top of that I have severe clinical depression and an anxiety disorder to boot. This thread and the people that take part in it are wonderful. If you ever need to talk about anything you can come here and unload. Also, feel free to private message me anytime you want. I talk to lots of people everyday who are going through all kinds of tough times.

D'aww, thank you (all ) for the kind welcome. ^_^
It's nice to know I have a place to vent and whatnot...

Maybe later in the day I'll have a nice paragraph or two for you guys and how I should act...about this one issue... Right now it's the morning and I'm not feeling like typing. Lawlz. ^^

BTW, good morning all!

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Just cruising by to check out what's up and to pick up chicks.

Wanna help me with yard work?

Star Child wrote:
Wanna help me with yard work?

I'd have no problem helping, but the commute is a bitch.

Natasha240 wrote:
I think I may be in trouble. It's a long story that no one cares about, but it's revolving around my job. I see the warning signs, and they are escalating rapidly. At least I'm aware of them, but I'm scared. Right now I'm trying to take one day at a time, but I don't feel good about this.

My endgame plan is to just quit, because my job is not worth my mental health in the long run, but that very idea also causes me severe anxiety. I don't want to be a quitter again. How will we deal with the loss of income? We have more expenses now than we did when I was unemployed totally.

I think about work every waking hour. I can't make myself stop worrying and agonizing over it. I have almost constant anxiety, and I've had a number of panic attacks in close succession. Today the constant anxiety finally led to some depression. I feel like crying all the time because of the never ending anxiety.

/worried and freaked out.

I just sent you a PM!

Natasha240 wrote:
and I just got the urge to cut. I won't, but I haven't had the urge in YEARS.

Only you can realize that cutting doesn't solve anything.. it will only cause you more pain down the road. Once you start up again you're going to want to run to it everytime it gets tough, and that can lead to serious consequences. Please don't do this. -hugs- It will get better. I recommend quitting your job.. it really isn't worth your mental state, as you said. You're only given one life to live.. why ruin that one life and be miserable simply to conform to societies standards?

Natasha240 wrote:
I think I may be in trouble. It's a long story that no one cares about, but it's revolving around my job. I see the warning signs, and they are escalating rapidly. At least I'm aware of them, but I'm scared. Right now I'm trying to take one day at a time, but I don't feel good about this.

My endgame plan is to just quit, because my job is not worth my mental health in the long run, but that very idea also causes me severe anxiety. I don't want to be a quitter again. How will we deal with the loss of income? We have more expenses now than we did when I was unemployed totally.

Sorry to hear this.

Any idea how long it would take to find another job in your area?  Can you find another one before you find yourself needing to leave work?  Can you save enough to help tide you over? 

[/rhetorical questions]

Best of luck.

edit:  Don't ever think that no one cares.  People do care about you.

Michael Pandolfo wrote:
How is this industry related?

Here's a good one though that encompasses them all. www.google.com. It's really quite diverse.

No one in the industry has ever committed suicide?

Becky-Marie wrote:
Im becky. I've been dating this guy for a few years. Sometimes he has a bit of a temper and can lash out on me, physically and mentally.. and as we pretty much live together sometimes it gets really hard... he's in therapy at the moment but for something else so it always gets me really depressed to think he's getting help but too proud to get help for what he really needs.. and the sick part is.. he makes me feel like the crazy one! I mean, if he hurts me I'll hurt back which generally doesn't help but it literally is self-defense.. but then he claims that he never did it in the first place.. like it never happened.. only sometimes will he ever really acknowledge it, and to him, I really believe he thinks its my fault ALL the time.. I really love him but it seriously fucks me up.. I'm pretty sure I now have depression, major trust issues, and possibly co-dependancy.. i really feel like i CAN'T live without him and it can literally make my body sick when we're not together or fighting. I don't know if it's also related.. but whenever I try to feel confident about myself I always get an overwhelming sense of sadness... Another incident happened tonight before he went out with his friends and I really dont know what to do.. I feel so broken at the moment and during fights i actually feel like I truly hate him.. but then he can be so lovely... there's times I even think he's bipolar. Idk.. I just needed to vent.

First, for the record, you need to leave until he gets help and can control himself.

Second, since it sounds like you know this and won't leave, try to get help so you can deal with this issue.  Perhaps some of the others posters here can suggest specific places to look for help.

Faith EnFire wrote:
morning (kev)


I hear your post, but I'm thoroughly frustrated with these said resources. the places covered by my insurance is expensive
the public places make appointments but then never follow thru. grrr
I do have unrealistic expectations of people but I don't think that expecting people to do what they say is unreasonable

I understand. I know not ever area is blessed to have some of the resources such as where I'm located.

Star Child wrote:

I understand. I know not ever area is blessed to have some of the resources such as where I'm located.

rawr!

Scottsworld71 wrote:
counting down the hours until the end of my 30's   For a long time I thought my 40th was it, thankfully im not in that mindset anymore, but I still dont wanna turn 40 lol

I've got more than hours but this whole 30 thing is throwing me for a loop

Star Child wrote:
Bah! More car troubles.  Thankful for friendly, helpful co-workers and a roommate who works at the same job.

Had strong panic attack at work brought on by car issue, but I fought through it and made it happily through my shift.

Morning, Faith and y'all.

I hear you on those. I know that we are supposed to find peace within ourselves and just sorta roll with the punches but car troubles...good you made it thru

morning all

Star Child wrote:
Bah! More car troubles.  Thankful for friendly, helpful co-workers and a roommate who works at the same job.

Had strong panic attack at work brought on by car issue, but I fought through it and made it happily through my shift.

40's are fun.  Wisdom comes to visit more often and one learns the things we so valued and stressed over during more youthful years are pretty much useless and pointless and 40+ begins to take on a role of "Hey, this is alright. I'm glad I'm not that young and stupid anymore."

I'm a bit wired, but sleepy time needs to happen soon.

Morning, Faith and y'all.

Im afraid to say it out loud, buuuttt, im so thankful I havent had any car troubles in a while now, man that shit was getting old!! I had my first real full blown panic attack a month or so ago, I gotta say, I never really understood when id hear ppl talk about having issues with anxiety! I thought it was a stroke, by the time the paramedics showed up my hands and feet were numb and the side of my face was starting to go numb bc I was hyperventilating so bad ... scared the shit out of me!!!! It made giving up smoking very easy though, and ive cut back on my caffeine, as soon as I get back to work ( on vacation ) and money start coming in again ive got a personal trainer ready to knock the man-titties off of me lol Im pretty determined to make my 40th yr a great one

btw ... sept 15 2012 ( yeah I know its a long ways out, im a planner though lol ) theres a 5 day bahama cruise sailing out of Jacksonville Florida, rooms start at $249+tx per person,I think we should try to make a big meet-n- greet trip out of it!

Faith EnFire wrote:


I've got more than hours but this whole 30 thing is throwing me for a loop

yeah I remember when I was creeping up on 30 ... 31 was actually worse bc I wasnt just 30 any more, I was "in my 30's" .. a whole new age group, kinda like the new millenium starting in 2001 lol now its just like "goddamnit its here already?!?!"

Scottsworld71 wrote:

yeah I remember when I was creeping up on 30 ... 31 was actually worse bc I wasnt just 30 any more, I was "in my 30's" .. a whole new age group, kinda like the new millenium starting in 2001 lol now its just like "goddamnit its here already?!?!"

it feels so adult. I don't want to be an adult. I'm already responsible. isn't that enough?

Faith EnFire wrote:

it feels so adult. I don't want to be an adult. I'm already responsible. isn't that enough?

The only real difference between 20's and 30's is being young and stupid.  In our 30's we know we're being stupid, but we do it anyway 'cause we want to.  In our 20's we're just plain stupid.

Star Child wrote:

The only real difference between 20's and 30's is being young and stupid.  In our 30's we know we're being stupid, but we do it anyway 'cause we want to.  In our 20's we're just plain stupid.

aint that the truth ave got a few years until that the bug 30

Star Child wrote:

The only real difference between 20's and 30's is being young and stupid.  In our 30's we know we're being stupid, but we do it anyway 'cause we want to.  In our 20's we're just plain stupid.

maybe you were...

I turned the mature and boring card at 22

Kelsey-L wrote:
I've opened this thread about 4 times today.. I guess I just wanted to check in and say hi. I don't have much to say as of right now but I figured I would at least make an apperance and let me other thread die. 

hey their stranger would you like some vegan chocolat chip cookies its just something I offer

Phane wrote:

hey their stranger would you like some vegan chocolat chip cookies its just something I offer

PuH-lease!

I could use something to munch on while I work!