Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
ArunaDiesPretty wrote:
She doesn't believe in counseling. She's supportive of me getting counseling for "my" depression, but she doesn't think she needs it herself. I am seeing a therapist. My mom was there for a couple sessions to fill my therapist in about me. Other than that, she believes that depression is a thing of "American Culture", and that I have "become american".
Honestly, I really thought my mom would be a little supportive of me pursuing this. I never thought that she would try to stop me, and then make me feel like a bad person for it. She said I could meet photographers at the mall, now it seems she's changed her mind about that even!
She has always been very smart and professional in her dealings with other people, like when she used to work and when she's running our household, so I'm just really bitter and frustrated with her insulting attitude toward me, and her total disregard for my online friendships and communications.
I have always been annoyed with my mom, but I have never hated her the way I do now. I am especially disgusted when she keeps insisting that she "loves" me, and wants me to "understand". It's not enough that she's oppressing me, she wants me to be happy with it!
And then she just laughs it off! I can understand that - My whole family is kinda screwed up but my mother has been unofficially diagnosed (by proxy) as paranoid schizophrenic. Yet, she believes she is perfect and everyone else is the problem.
She swings between a nice 'Christian lady' in public, and this horribly cruel monster around us kids. I'm pretty sure she doesn't remember the stuff she does as this cruel monster side of her; she honestly thinks she was a good parent to me (She tried to kill me any chance she got.)
She tells everyone she loves us then sabotages us every chance she gets.
I've stopped talking to my whole family, except one brother, mostly because of her effects on people.
Model
Cadence Rose
Posts: 2689
Greenfield, Massachusetts, US
Model
Cadence Rose
Posts: 2689
Greenfield, Massachusetts, US
I have been considering telling my therapist something but I'm scared that she'll think I'm in danger and send me to a hospital against my will. Thinking about this makes me anxious. I know it will be good for me to tell her, but my gut instinct tells me not to. I don't know what to do.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
- Rose - wrote:
I have been considering telling my therapist something but I'm scared that she'll think I'm in danger and send me to a hospital against my will. Thinking about this makes me anxious. I know it will be good for me to tell her, but my gut instinct tells me not to. I don't know what to do. do you want to tell us here or PM or are you just thinking kind of out loud?
Sounds like you're trying to take a big step and you're not sure what to do.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
Help me choose, please.
kayelless.org or turtlelife.org?
Model
Cadence Rose
Posts: 2689
Greenfield, Massachusetts, US
Star Child wrote:
do you want to tell us here or PM or are you just thinking kind of out loud? When I was a child I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. I've been experiencing it again, but it's just thoughts...I'd never do it, I'd never put my boyfriend through it. I only think about it when I'm feeling bad. But having been hospitalized for it before, I don't want to risk it again. I don't need to be in a hospital, I need my therapist to help me work through it.
P.S. After some thought, I think I'd vote for turtlelife. It's memorable. So is kayelless, but people may have trouble spelling it if they don't know it very well. 
Photographer
A S Photography
Posts: 1222
Newark, Delaware, US
Star Child wrote:
Help me choose, please.
kayelless.org or turtlelife.org? A) how much does it cost?
B) can you do both and have one refer to the other? (that should let you do the referring one very cheaply)
If you can only do one, which name will your audience be the most familiar with?
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
A S Photography wrote:
A) how much does it cost?
B) can you do both and have one refer to the other? (that should let you do the referring one very cheaply)
If you can only do one, which name will your audience be the most familiar with? +1
I like Turtlelife
Model
Cadence Rose
Posts: 2689
Greenfield, Massachusetts, US
On a happier note, I am working on a long-term blogging project...long-term meaning I'll work on it whenever I feel like it and hopefully it won't be put down and forgotten about. I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to do with it but I know I want to use it to inspire others who have gone through foster care, using my own experiences.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
A S Photography wrote:
A) how much does it cost?
B) can you do both and have one refer to the other? (that should let you do the referring one very cheaply)
If you can only do one, which name will your audience be the most familiar with? Considering costs I can do both.
I already own Kayelless.net & .com
-Rose- had a good point, though. People misspell Kayelless all the time.
btw, turtlelife.org is leading in the race
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
- Rose - wrote:
On a happier note, I am working on a long-term blogging project...long-term meaning I'll work on it whenever I feel like it and hopefully it won't be put down and forgotten about. I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to do with it but I know I want to use it to inspire others who have gone through foster care, using my own experiences. That's awesome!!  
Photographer
Geoffrey B Photography
Posts: 502
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
- Rose - wrote:
I have been considering telling my therapist something but I'm scared that she'll think I'm in danger and send me to a hospital against my will. Thinking about this makes me anxious. I know it will be good for me to tell her, but my gut instinct tells me not to. I don't know what to do. Well she might also surprise you with something different, more useful.
Photographer
Geoffrey B Photography
Posts: 502
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
RL_11214 wrote:
Aruna. I am going to try to restrain my reply.
A lot of your problems are in your own head.
Before you even get a job, you have already decided it will be a dead end. There is nothing congenitally wrong with you. Go out and join the Army, for example, while you are still under 42, do something to get out of the house. I don't know about that. The military isn't always the friendliest place around.
I was in the Canadian Forces. After boot camp, seven people and myself went to the same barracks. This funny little guy (21 years old) after being there for like eight months, just before Christmas, waited to his three room mates were out and hung himself.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Star Child wrote:
Considering costs I can do both.
I already own Kayelless.net & .com
-Rose- had a good point, though. People misspell Kayelless all the time.
btw, turtlelife.org is leading in the race I like turtlelife. That's something more people can remember and associate with. It's a familiar animal. kayelless isn't recognizable unless they know you already.
Model
Faith EnFire
Posts: 13514
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US
totally like turtlelife got bad news from my vet my dog has days, maybe weeks left. The dog has tumors throughout his lungs he's been with me through my worst times to now He seems relatively ok though, not in pain so for now he'll get some steriods
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Faith EnFire wrote:
totally like turtlelife
got bad news from my vet
my dog has days, maybe weeks left. The dog has tumors throughout his lungs
he's been with me through my worst times to now
He seems relatively ok though, not in pain so for now he'll get some steriods Oh, no. Faith, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say. 
Model
Faith EnFire
Posts: 13514
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Oh, no. Faith, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say. hugs are good
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Faith EnFire wrote:
hugs are good Lots of *HUGS* coming your way.
Model
Faith EnFire
Posts: 13514
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US
Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
Lots of *HUGS* coming your way.
Model
Cadence Rose
Posts: 2689
Greenfield, Massachusetts, US
Faith EnFire wrote:
totally like turtlelife
got bad news from my vet
my dog has days, maybe weeks left. The dog has tumors throughout his lungs
he's been with me through my worst times to now
He seems relatively ok though, not in pain so for now he'll get some steriods Ohh, poor little guy. Hugs for you and your dog. I'm sorry
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Faith EnFire wrote:
totally like turtlelife
got bad news from my vet
my dog has days, maybe weeks left. The dog has tumors throughout his lungs
he's been with me through my worst times to now
He seems relatively ok though, not in pain so for now he'll get some steriods Oh poor baby. Well at least he'll be safe, warm and loved That means more to pets than anything.
Photographer
Star Child
Posts: 39289
Nashville, Tennessee, US
Faith EnFire wrote:
totally like turtlelife
got bad news from my vet
my dog has days, maybe weeks left. The dog has tumors throughout his lungs
he's been with me through my worst times to now
He seems relatively ok though, not in pain so for now he'll get some steriods *huggs*
Model
Natasha240
Posts: 6438
Cassina de' Pecchi, Lombardy, Italy
popping in, popping out
Model
Natasha240
Posts: 6438
Cassina de' Pecchi, Lombardy, Italy
Also:
Kevin: YAY!!! on the almost job. Have you heard anything?
Big A: HI! Why no pm? I've been only marginally on the forums for the past few weeks. I've been thinking about you, and concerned with the passing of another month. Where are you with that?
Everyone: Love you guys! I think about you all daily.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Natasha240 wrote:
Also:
Kevin: YAY!!! on the almost job. Have you heard anything?
Big A: HI! Why no pm? I've been only marginally on the forums for the past few weeks. I've been thinking about you, and concerned with the passing of another month. Where are you with that?
Everyone: Love you guys! I think about you all daily. Back atcha lovely lady.
Model
Roxie Red
Posts: 1574
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
i'm sorry i don't have time to read all of these...
just came by to say. if the last time i was here i was a 2 out of 10. 10 being happy.
i'm like a five right now. which is good!
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Retardly happy right now, as i finally got my paws on a new Canon 50D.
Model
Roxie Red
Posts: 1574
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Retardly happy right now, as i finally got my paws on a new Canon 50D. congrats! i am a nikon baby myself...but congrats!
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Roxie Red wrote:
congrats! i am a nikon baby myself...but congrats!
It's a massive upgrade from my Canon Rebel xt, 
Model
Roxie Red
Posts: 1574
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
Miss Murder Photography wrote:
It's a massive upgrade from my Canon Rebel xt, I always heard that was a good camera?
Photographer
Dannielle Levan
Posts: 12865
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Roxie Red wrote:
I always heard that was a good camera? They both are.
Photographer
Nicole Nygaard
Posts: 795
Sacramento, California, US
Roxie Red wrote:
i'm sorry i don't have time to read all of these...
just came by to say. if the last time i was here i was a 2 out of 10. 10 being happy.
i'm like a five right now. which is good! ha, right now i feel like a 2. Great hahaha
Model
Faith EnFire
Posts: 13514
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US
Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Retardly happy right now, as i finally got my paws on a new Canon 50D. sweet jealousy
but yes a canon xt is good too, I like mine
dog's not doing well, so it's looking like sooner rather than later. the heat doesn't help him
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Roxie Red wrote:
i'm sorry i don't have time to read all of these...
just came by to say. if the last time i was here i was a 2 out of 10. 10 being happy.
i'm like a five right now. which is good! YAAAAAAY! Happy dance.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Retardly happy right now, as i finally got my paws on a new Canon 50D. I'm jealous. I'm trying to decide between the 5DmkII or the T1i and use the difference for accessories. Decisions, decisions....
Happy for you, though.
Photographer
Photons 2 Pixels Images
Posts: 17011
Berwick, Pennsylvania, US
Faith EnFire wrote:
sweet jealousy
but yes a canon xt is good too, I like mine
dog's not doing well, so it's looking like sooner rather than later. the heat doesn't help him More *HUGS* for ya.
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17716
San Diego Country Estates, California, US
Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Retardly happy right now, as i finally got my paws on a new Canon 50D. Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:
I'm jealous. I'm trying to decide between the 5DmkII or the T1i and use the difference for accessories. Decisions, decisions....
Happy for you, though. I'm salivating over the T2i. 5DmkII is out of my budget for the time being.
Happy for both of you!
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 25581
Tampa, Florida, US
Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Retardly happy right now, as i finally got my paws on a new Canon 50D. Haz a 50D
wait till you start shooting with it,your happiness will be x100
One thing,the files will be HUGE!
I shoot in Jpeg(ducks from all the peeps here who say you have to shoot in
RAW),and these files are humungous
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 25581
Tampa, Florida, US
Oh and happiness factor is at a 2 today mainly because my seasonal allergies(which hit me harder than most) have confined me indoors on a rare day off,where not a cloud in the sky and 83 degrees.... But,I know this will be over in a week or so,but unfortunately due to my job I hit every allergy seasonacross the US
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