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Should I be offended?
So, a photographer and I have been emailing each other for the past day about a shoot. Then he realized I have tatoos/piercings. All of these can be convered during photoshoots, and even more so in a casual shoot, as he requested. (tattoo on back of neck-and i have long hair-tattoo on hip (nothing makeup/photoshop can help/nose/belly/tongue pierced... ok now here is his final email to me after set a date and decided on places to shoot and times to meet ya da ya da ya.... Quote by the photographer "I regret to say that I am not able to use models that have tatoos, or pins in their face. And, I generally do not relate well to those that want to multilate their bodies with tattoos and pins; especially by sticking a pin in their tongue. There are a lot of photographers that want to work with you that would be a better match. So, please scratch me from your calendar." Should I be offended by the way it was stated? Oct 04 06 11:01 pm Link Alisha B wrote: Sure, if you choose. Or not, if you choose. Take your offense, or not, where you find it. Oct 04 06 11:04 pm Link Alisha B wrote: No. Oct 04 06 11:06 pm Link It's not worth your emotional energy to be offended by people who want to toss in a little gratuitous rudeness. He could've easily just said, "Sorry, tattoos don't fit in to my work." Instead, he made a value judgment on your tastes. I'd advise spending a shrug on it, at most, before moving on. Oct 04 06 11:06 pm Link you should tell him that you don't relate well to people who can't respect other people's personal decisions to do what they like with their body. Oct 04 06 11:06 pm Link TXPhotog wrote: I dunno... I just think he should have stated it better. Oct 04 06 11:06 pm Link Don't be offended; at least he was being honest. There are many photographers that don't care about tats or piercings. Just move on to the next person -- it's all good! Besides, would you really want to work with a photographer that has issues with tats and piercings? -P- Oct 04 06 11:07 pm Link The photographer and the model have got to click , if they do not it will come across in the photos. I would just let it go and schedule with someone that really looks forward to working with you. Joe P.S. You look great and you can get in front of my camera anytime. Oct 04 06 11:09 pm Link No, I wouldn't be offended. There's plenty of other photogs that will appreciate your tattoos and piercings. My favorite model to photograph has 27 tattoos. Lol... Oct 04 06 11:09 pm Link I believe he could have used more tact. For some reason he's stereotyped people with body modifications and in my opinion a photographer who can't accept differences in individuals probably has a pretty bland portfolio anyway. Oct 04 06 11:09 pm Link Alisha B wrote: Not all medicine come candy-coated. Honesty can be bitter, but it's better for you than sweet lies. Oct 04 06 11:13 pm Link Yeah, he could have said it a little nicer, and a different way, but there are always different ways to say things. He was just being straight out and honest, and in this career, you better get used to it. By saying what he did and how he did, I'm sure he didn't mean it in a bad way, he was just being straight out about it. Don't take things like that personal, just be glad you didn't show up to the shoot, and he cancelled on you then. Just move on to the next photographer, and make sure they know off hand that you have tats or piercings to avoid further misunderstanding. Oct 04 06 11:15 pm Link Alisha B wrote: Come to Kansas...I love tatoos. Oct 04 06 11:16 pm Link every culture in the world has ideals of body type and permitted modifications. ... and some people will have difficulties with the mods or their (or other) cultures! ... he was sort-of polite; shine it on. not worth the energy. Oct 04 06 11:17 pm Link Caitie Lee wrote: This is right on the money Oct 04 06 11:19 pm Link "And, I generally do not relate well to those that want to multilate their bodies with tattoos and pins; especially by sticking a pin in their tongue" THIS is the problem quote right here. He doesn't have to relateto a model to shoot with her. Oct 04 06 11:20 pm Link Caitie Lee wrote: Oh for crying out loud! Oct 04 06 11:21 pm Link No need to be offended at all. You should be happy that he was clear, direct and honest with you. That's professional and mature behavior. He's also right that there are lots of people who like to shoot people with piercings and tattoos. Honesty is a virtue. It's no reflection on your desire to decorate yourself that way. Oct 04 06 11:25 pm Link Image K wrote: I was thinking the same thing.... Oct 04 06 11:28 pm Link Caitie Lee wrote: Caitie, he's the photographer. Why shouldn't he choose who or what he wants to photograph? He didn't say he didn't respect her for doing what she wants to do. He just said it's not what he likes. Oct 04 06 11:29 pm Link No, you shouldn't be offended. Nor should you be wondering about whether or not you should be offended. Save your time, move on. xx Oct 04 06 11:31 pm Link No...It detracts from your plan of action! The Edge--GMX Oct 04 06 11:37 pm Link Different strokes for different folks. Oct 04 06 11:38 pm Link Justin wrote: What Justin said. Oct 04 06 11:41 pm Link Is this gonna be another one of those threads where the OP disapears on page 2, never to be heard from again? To answer your question though, surely you knew when you got these modifications there would be some consequences, right? Well.... Oct 04 06 11:42 pm Link Partially. Having to express that you won't fit his criteria is one thing. Going out of his way to demonize the reasons he doesn't want to work with you is infantile rudeness. Tact is a concept all too foreign nowadays, it seems...particularly when weighed against the freedom to spout one's own personal moralistic propaganda. Oct 04 06 11:44 pm Link Justin wrote: I agree. This is very well put. Oct 04 06 11:45 pm Link I agree Caitie Lee wrote: Oct 04 06 11:46 pm Link Click Hamilton wrote: i completely understand a photographer not wanting to shoot with a model if she has visible tattoos and peircings that would effect the way the images turned out. that's fine. but what she was saying was that they wouldn't effect the shoot, the tattoo was on the back of her neck and she has a tounge ring or something to that effect. the way he stated it came off as he had a personal problem with it, not a professional problem with it, which is where i see a problem... Oct 04 06 11:54 pm Link Alisha B wrote: IF you have the time to be offended and time to waste all your creative energy on something so insignificant then go ahead. Oct 05 06 12:27 am Link No, you shouldn't be offended, because if you let yourself go around being offended by stuck-up, self-righteous, rude morons, you will never get anything done. And, incidentally, to another poster: Accusing someone of "mutilating" themselves, when your opinion on the subject has not been asked, is never polite. "I'm sorry, I don't work with models with body modifications" is fine - and if it causes a confrontation, at least you tried. "I don't work with people who mutilate themselves" is not fine. M Oct 05 06 12:33 am Link he sounds like a douche bag to me Oct 05 06 12:42 am Link Well he could of said it more tastefully. But screw him ya know he has a preference and closed minded let him be. Find other people who are willing to work with those who like your style. Oct 05 06 12:44 am Link But why are you asking us if you should be offended? Don't you usually know?  But yeah, he really didn't have to add that extra shit.Oct 05 06 12:57 am Link John Allan wrote: Well said, IMHO. Welcome to the real world. At least you know why you didn't get that 'gig'. Yes, for the record, he could have stated it better, but that's life. Oct 05 06 01:01 am Link YES you are limiting yourself if you are making changes to your appearance in this industry... it's an appearance based industry. Her point was the man was rude to her (atleast the way I read it, he sounded rude, and I would be offended). He stated he can't relate to people who put "pins through their tongues", something that wouldn't be seen in pictures anyway, unless of course he wants pictures of her tongue hanging out... which would be weird, lol. but I do agree that assuming a photographer could just easily photoshop certain things out is a bit pretentious, editing those sorts of things take a lot of extra time and effort on the photographers part Oct 05 06 01:19 am Link If whatever offended him wouldn't have shown in the photographs then I don't think he should have worried about what you do to the parts of your body he isn't going to photograph. On the other hand, if you do have piercings or tattoos that do show then I think you should either have them in your portfolio or point them out on first contact. Oct 05 06 01:24 am Link Alisha B wrote: Hm. I agree, seemed a little bit rude to me too. But then, I think he's an idiot, because I looked at your photos and you're stunning. Oct 05 06 01:27 am Link And all of this in only a day? I'll bet a nickle that the real issue here is that you are proud of your piercings and tattoos as your unique and personal expression. And the photographer prefers the sanctity of natural beauty that hasn't been mutilated or modified, or whatever you want to call it. You take that personally as a slap in the face because you want everyone else to like what you like too. You also feel like you were rejected. Of course you were. But it was by him, as a model for his purposes. Nobody likes being rejected. He's not interested in what you do to yourself in this way because he thinks it defiles your beauty. You should respect his opinion as much as you want him to respect yours. To many people piercings and tattoos are inane and idiotic, and as charming as bad graffitti. To others they are sexy and bold and artistic and personal and fashionable, and expressive, and more important for personal identity than many other things in life. It really doesn't matter. These are personal choices. There's a lid for every pot. Life is as sweet as we let it. Oct 05 06 01:46 am Link His loss. Oct 05 06 01:49 am Link |
