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100 signs you're a GWC
100- You're still using a 3 MP fixed lens camera because that's good enough for the web. You tell your models that it would be really sexy and edgy if they took off their shirt and covered their boobs with one arm. You continue to shoot while they're switching arms. When she calls you on it, you tell them you'll delete them later. Scouts honor. You pose your models with a Roman pillar and an old bed sheet hung up with tape. Your props choices are swords, a fake rose, a hard hat and tool belt, a ladder, caution tape, and a rubber snake. You bring over the halogen torch lamp for a fill light to your home depot key light. go for it! :-P Apr 07 06 12:24 am Link Aw man...and I just bought that rubber snake too. grumble. Wait! *checks list again* Cool! Didn't say anything about the stuffed parrot, eye patch and halloween cardboard pirate hat. *when* I'm safe.  Apr 07 06 12:31 am Link Doesnât have model release, claims itâs âunnecessaryâ? Photographer brings wife as escort, i.e. reflector holder, claiming he doesnât want any more âaccusationsâ? coming back to bite him in the ass after a shoot. He only shoots in his basement using tacky backdrops, claiming he hasn't mastered location lighting. They ask real photographers if they can "maybe come by and watch one of your shoots some time- to just observe" and if refused continue to nag the other photographer with annoying, basic questions. Calls film "outdated" Asks model out on a date while shooting her. Finds his best models and dates on myspace. Main goal in photography isn't to get published- it's to get the most comments!! DUH! Apr 07 06 12:35 am Link 99- you are still a gwc in some eyes no matter what. Apr 07 06 12:36 am Link 98. Your avatar looks alot like a close up of two ass cheeks with pimples! Apr 07 06 12:45 am Link 97- you shoot yes...but you miss the model Apr 07 06 12:47 am Link 98 - You get your pose ideas from the latest mens magazines. 97 - You use your new camera phone 96 - You lament the end of the Polaroid 95 - Your lighting rig is one of those $10 3 bulb corner lap things from Walmart 94 - Your best backdrop is your bed spread 93 - ...and it's been a while since it's been washed...and it shows. 92 - Your wind machine is a leaf blower. 91 - You pictures have more blown spots than the opening match on prime time wrestling. 90 - Your portfolio consists of webcam and upskirt shots. Apr 07 06 12:49 am Link adrienne of Zswana wrote: A variation of this... I'm going to slap the next guy who asks if he can come to a photo shoot and "hold the lights." Apr 07 06 12:52 am Link 89 You list rates for shoots but say nude sessions are free Apr 07 06 12:54 am Link Apr 07 06 12:55 am Link 87 Your business card is printed on plain paper (20#), on a copy machine, in B/W Apr 07 06 12:59 am Link Mark Fellows wrote: I would more or less call that person a genius Apr 07 06 01:00 am Link 86 - Your "Professional" web site is on a free host, and it shows. Apr 07 06 01:01 am Link Apr 07 06 01:01 am Link 85 - you think youre "beating ths system" by getting a digital SLR-like camera instead of an SLR (saying "i wouldnt pay all of that money for no camera") 84 - your definition of white lighting is an evening lamp in the living room Apr 07 06 01:01 am Link Apr 07 06 01:02 am Link this looks like more of a GWC spawned thread Apr 07 06 01:03 am Link #???? You've never heard of the inverse square law and draw a total blank when asked about guide numbers or bellows compensation???? Apr 07 06 01:06 am Link Some of the worst pics come from GWC with the most knowledge. A good eye cant be learned. The rest can. Apr 07 06 01:14 am Link Apr 07 06 01:16 am Link 83..When talking of your "Equipment" you mean your Manhood other than what camera you use. 82..You brake out in cold sweat when Model says she / He is bringing an escort 81..You get rushed to the emergency room when the government announce that they are putting a $2000 tax on Photoshop users 80..You work as an accountant..But use terms like "Yo" and "Chillin" to try and impress a would be "victim"..ie...(model) 79..You were Christened William or David...But go by the name of Randall or Star .....and so it goes on..... Apr 07 06 01:55 am Link 78. You stare at the model like a tiger on a deer 77. Your camera has optical AND digital zooms 76. You have 17 models under your management and you personally go on all their shoots, to make sure that no other manager steals the property. 75. "just stand right there by that tree" 74. " I used to shoot fashion and super bowls back in the 1980's with my 6x6" Apr 07 06 02:23 am Link 14. (Having trouble counting) Insisting on having a photo with the model while she's topless. 13. Writes bad poetry to the model to express how emotionally bonding a shoot was 12. Name starts with Hoo 11. Shows up at a shoot wearing nothing but moose antlers and bowling shoes, claiming it's a religious holiday. Apr 07 06 02:39 am Link What's a GWC? =T I'm a newbie, huh? Apr 07 06 02:43 am Link Erica OYoung wrote:
Apr 07 06 02:46 am Link Erica OYoung wrote: It's in the FAQ's ma'm Apr 07 06 02:47 am Link adrienne of Zswana wrote: LMAO- this is so me! hehe Apr 07 06 02:48 am Link Going back to 73...we can skip 14-11 later... 73# you think wronkled bedspreads with floral themes are a great showcase for nekkid girls 72#Auto is the only way....and who cares if the background is sharper than the subject or that you are hand holding the camera at 1/10 second...it adds art. 71# You 'fix' imperfect pictures by using a weird filter at 100% 70# gaussian blur and diffuse glow are your best friends. Apr 07 06 02:50 am Link 69. Your portfolio says "I have been shooting professionally for 20 years" yet your only area of mastery is the booty shot! 68. Your rates double for members of the same gender as you Apr 07 06 02:50 am Link 67- yells, "oh your so beautiful, hot stuff, sexy , work it work it yes yes yes yes yes" Apr 07 06 02:51 am Link 67. You hire girls for 4 hours and take 1200 overexposed pics of them, insisting they look at the camera and smile for every one. Apr 07 06 02:51 am Link ahahhaha.. Thanks guys  I check FAQ. Now *that* is hilarious. I had to shoot with GWC once - it was a paid shoot for a spa and they hired him. The pictures were horrendous! Apr 07 06 02:51 am Link #65 You only pick models in two sizes- stacked and HOLY MOLY! #64 You have more shots of women with cars than without cars #63 You insist on personally applying baby oil to your subjects for that shiny look #62 You do headshots in bikinis Apr 07 06 02:55 am Link #70 (for film photographers moved over to digital) Forgets to turn on the camera. LOL! Guilty as charged! Oops! Hey, how come the numbers are all mixed up?! Apr 07 06 02:56 am Link "that was...good...but let's try it again, this time topless" "i don't care what the hell you do in front of the camera, just make it sexy" "my mom said you'd be a good match for me" "i know we agreed not to do lingerie, but this is more like 'bedroom swimwear' really" Apr 07 06 02:56 am Link gsvb wrote: Sounds more like a model to me. Some of the names they use I REFUSE to call and ask for on the phone! LOL. Apr 07 06 02:57 am Link I have a 2 mp... what's your point?.... Apr 07 06 02:58 am Link 73.Keep Promising the models Your Magazine will be released in 2 more weeks 3 months after the original release date. 72.Showing models photo's of you in thongs hoping they will find you sexy. 71.Taking a picture of your camera and placing it in your avatar & business cards hoping to impress models. 70.Borrowing a models car to pick up another model for a TFCD shoot Apr 07 06 02:58 am Link #61 Your photographer buddies told you to start shooting stories- so your stories always go like this- model in clothes, then model in lingeire, then model implied nude #60 You insist on implieds to get those coveted oops shots #59 You insist on a video camera taping of the shoot for your legal protection Apr 07 06 02:58 am Link 58# You think there is nothing wrong with videotaping (without knowledge) underage models in the changing rooms. Apr 07 06 03:06 am Link |
