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Suicide and Violence Help Thread
What's the hardest part of your day? What do you enjoy the most about MM? Jul 28 12 07:22 pm Link Star Child wrote: Good questions Star Child! The hardest part of my day is just getting through it. I work on the PTSD and the depression. I treat the open wounds on my leg and I deal with the physical pain from that. But the thing I find most troubling these days is this never ending sense of fear. It's constantly in the background. I know where it's coming from, at some point I will be evicted when the foreclosure on my condo is complete. Nothing I can do about that. Also, every month I have a money crisis and I have to choose between medicine or food. I tend to get the medicine if I can. Two months ago I couldn't afford either. But, I'm fat, and water fasting can be very good for you. The longest has been six days and that was hard. Jul 28 12 09:20 pm Link Star Child wrote: waking up alone in my truck,watching everyone be in love and knowing I will probably never know what that drug is like ever again,going to sleep at night in my truck wondering if I will ever know what its like to hold a beautiful girl in my arms ever again as we fall asleep Star Child wrote: 90% of the people here Jul 28 12 10:05 pm Link Suicide is not chosen. It happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. Aug 02 12 09:28 am Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 02 12 04:10 pm Link
Post hidden on Jan 08, 2013 01:48 pm
Reason: other Comments: Anonymity request by quoted poster. Aug 02 12 05:26 pm Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 02 12 05:56 pm Link What's the hardest part of your day? The loneliness. Social, intellectual and emotional isolation is so utterly draining. When you're exhausted and have to face the world and you realise everyone's in it for themselves there's precious reason to get out of bed most days. What do you enjoy the most about MM? The inspiration of seeing great - and let's face it - not so great images in a huge big melting pot. I can spend hours following photographers, models, MUAs, stylists and other artists, chasing lists and forum threads, exploring shots, learning about posing, lighting and composition and the other million elements that make for great shots, and just plain recharging my creative juices. Stay safe everyone. - Bret Aug 02 12 09:45 pm Link Good questions Bret. The hardest part of my day depends on how bad the PTSD is affecting me. On the worst days my mind can't think of anything but the most horrible times of my life. And of course this spills over into anything you try to do. I'm losing my home soon to foreclosure and I'm frightened. But I try to be helpful to others and hope for the best. What I love most about MM is easy. I just posted it recently. All of you guys. The friends I have here are special. A couple of years ago I really learned just how amazing these great people are. The great art and talent inspires me but the kindness of the heart saves my soul. Aug 02 12 10:13 pm Link Hey Tim, I was waiting for Star to post his answers to the questions he posed above but thought I'd chip in with mine. I hear you on the PTSD. Been 23 years now for me. Throw in general depression too and life's not exactly a barrel of laughs. I appreciate the pain of impending foreclosure and feel for you. As an outsider to the States it's hard to fathom just how tough the economy is at present and has been for a while. We lost a major, major client recently and dammit it doesn't half scare the hell out of you as you sit there in front of the computer screen trying to work through budgets. Plenty of sleepless nights - which is not exactly out of the ordinary - but hey, I can cope with 4 hours a night - 2 is ridiculous though. It's odd how my creativity spikes the shittier I feel, but my business brain crashes, and vice versa if I'm feeling okay. Are you the same? Are there ways to forestall foreclosure? We got thrown out of a lot of places when I was a kid but I thought I'd read where companies were being forced to hold off on foreclosing in some instances. I'm sure you've explored all that but where there's hope… Spent a bit of time couch surfing in my day so you'll find that what you give out to others in terms of helping will come back in spades. Aug 03 12 12:52 am Link Bret Salinger wrote: Hi Bret, My PTSD comes with the severe depression too. In fact it was the depression and horrible anxiety attacks that led me to seek treatment a long time ago. But Dr's never really looked into it and just tried to treat the anxiety. Finally, a great Dr. quietly listened to my life story and diagnosed PTSD. The therapy helps but it is a horrible slow slog through the valley of fear. Aug 03 12 05:28 am Link Tim Little Photography wrote: It's amazing how just one professional who cares enough to listen can make a difference with your diagnosis. I've been through my share of specialists and there were a couple over the journey that made major breakthroughs. The medical doctors...not so much. For me, it's sleep, nightmare, wake, sleep, nightmare, wake, wake, wake some more, sleep, rinse and repeat. I'm lucky my partner puts up with it. Aug 03 12 07:02 am Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 05 12 05:17 pm Link I'm about to begin a really hard period. As of today I have run out of money. I was hit with unexpected expenses for my leg treatment and it looks like a guy that owes me $150 for retouching isn't ever going to pay. So I will be doing a protein shake fast until the 28th. I need to lose weight and this is safe. I will have to stop cold turkey my Anti-Depressant, Anti-Anxiety and antibiotic cream for my leg. I'll also run out of the Angro Gel for the low Testosterone. I don't know what happens when you suddenly stop taking all of this at the same time but I don't suspect it can be good. I ask that you pray or send some good karma my way. Thanks, I love you all. Tim Aug 07 12 11:48 am Link Jeez Tim, that sounds awful. You're right: going cold turkey is going to bounce you around a fair bit. Here if you need to chat. - Bret Aug 07 12 07:33 pm Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 07 12 08:19 pm Link Bret Salinger wrote: I really don't think this is going to be pleasnt Aug 07 12 08:27 pm Link Thanks guys. I really love you people!!! I'll be OK. It's going to be difficult but I'll get by. My doctor had samples of the Cymbalta so that will cover me for the depression. That was the one I was really scared of missing. The Klonopin for anxiety may be on the $4.00 list at Wal-Mart, I'll find out tomorrow. The stuff for my leg will have to wait. I can always go to the hospital if it starts getting bad. I appreciate all your concern. Knowing that I have people that care makes all the difference. And, I'm looking forward to losing some weight! Aug 07 12 08:58 pm Link Tim Little Photography wrote: This is something too dear to my heart. I want to cry. I'm so sick of "money" being the reason behind so many people's suffering. Aug 08 12 10:07 am Link Star Child wrote: Thanks Star, I love you my friend. Aug 08 12 10:08 am Link Tim Little Photography wrote: Tim, go to this site: https://www.pparx.org/ . Aug 08 12 10:39 am Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 08 12 05:02 pm Link
Post hidden on Jan 08, 2013 01:49 pm
Reason: other Comments: Anonymity request of quoted poster. Aug 08 12 08:07 pm Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 08 12 08:13 pm Link
Post hidden on Dec 27, 2012 10:42 am
Reason: other Comments: Anonymity request of quoted poster. Aug 08 12 08:28 pm Link For every negative there is a positive. This is the balance of life. We can't deny the existence of either; however the one that we give credence to is the one that will guild us. When it comes to matters such as depression this is about hope and belief that we can overcome. Aug 09 12 10:09 am Link Model Posts: 576 Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica Aug 09 12 04:28 pm Link
Post hidden on Dec 27, 2012 10:43 am
Reason: other Comments: Anonymity request of quoted poster. Aug 09 12 04:42 pm Link Time is gonna come Aug 15 12 06:14 am Link Hi everyone! I'm back. I was in the hospital for a few days and had surgery on my leg. I now have a pig skin graft on my leg. This will last for a few days and then the body will reject it. But in the mean time it builds up the graft site and allows capillaries and nerve endings to start growing. I hope you are all doing great! Aug 18 12 03:59 pm Link Tim Little Photography wrote: sounds pretty amazing. Aug 18 12 07:15 pm Link Tim Little Photography wrote: Aug 24 12 10:24 am Link If you had a friend who you knew was on the verge of suicide, what would you tell them? What would you do for them? Aug 28 12 10:11 am Link Sep 02 12 06:23 am Link Star Child wrote: It depends on the person. I would listen to him/her and offer any help I could. If I was convinced my friend was on the edge I would contact mental health services. Sep 02 12 08:24 am Link What can you say? Really? I've been on both sides of the fence. Sometimes nothing you say will make a damn bit of difference. Sometimes saying nothing is what makes all the difference. Every occurrence is utterly unique and the struggle is to struggle. Sep 02 12 04:53 pm Link Patience. Hard to find when one is in pain. Sep 05 12 10:04 am Link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVr5RtEq … re=related This has been my existance lyrics here Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down I cry for help but no one's around Silently screaming as I bang my head against the wall It seems like no one cares at all Always an emotion, but how can I explain; how can I explain? Kind of like the scent of a rose, with words I can't explain, the same with my pain Caught up in emotion, goes over my head; goes over my head! Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death, am I living or am I dead The clock keeps ticking, but nothing else seems to change Problems never solved, just rearranged And when I think about all the times that I've had Some were good most were bad I search for personality and I look for things I cannot see Love and peace flash through my mind; pain and hate is all I find Find no hope in nothing new and I never had a dream come true Lies and hate and agony; through my eyes that's all I see If I'm gonna cry, will you wipe away my tears? And if I'm gonna die, Lord please take away my fear Before I drown in sorrow, I just want to say; How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today Today today; when I can't even smile today Today today; when I can't even smile today How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today You think it's so funny... ...laugh at this! So when I look outside my room I see the world, but not the reason What is done to me is not fair You call it fair I call it treason But I don't know what to do Give me a sign I'll take whatever But if you want me here I am Ain't gonna die forever And I tried to hold ya But you just turned away And I tried to tell ya But not a word I say I cried out so loudly But you just covered your ears And gave me all the signs That you don't want my tears So if you want me here I am I sit and wait your decision But my body fights my mind I headed straight for a collision So am I getting near or am I still Looking in all the wrong places But the only thing that seems to change Are the looks on the faces... Doesn't anyone...seems like no one cares at all I search for personality and look for things I cannot see Does anyone even care at all? Love and peace flash through my mind; pain and hate is all I find Seems like no one cares at all Find no hope in nothing new and I never had a dream come true Does anyone even care at all? Lies and hate and agony; through my eyes that's all I see Seems like no one cares at all How will I laugh tomorrow? How will I laugh tomorrow? How will I laugh tomorrow? How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today Today today; when I can't even smile today Today today; when I can't even smile today How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today... Sep 06 12 08:23 am Link
Post hidden on Dec 27, 2012 10:43 am
Reason: other Comments: Anonymity request of quoted poster. Sep 06 12 11:18 am Link You are stronger than you imagine yourself to be. Sep 06 12 11:19 am Link |