This thread was locked on 2011-11-18 23:49:16
Forums > Model Colloquy > Molestation by a photographer.

Model

Dahlia

Posts: 17

Middletown, Connecticut, US

I do a lot of nude/bondage modeling and I've worked with a lot of great people. 99% of the time I bring an escort. Now, there is a photographer I did a non-sexual couples shoot with in the past and the pictures were great and he seemed like a nice guy. We were set to do a sexy school girl shoot today which we did, then we moved on to oil and water nudes (for TF, stupid on my part) and he came up behind me (totally unexpectedly and clearly without permission) with oil on his hand and started rubbing "between my legs" with it. I spun around and was like "whoa dude f*** you", had a civil but tense conversation with him, demanded my photographs still be sent by mail and promptly left. I had another photographer who call him to handle the matter. But goddamn it, i feel so dirty and ashamed and violated. I cried so hard on the ride home, once i stopped and got home i took a shower and changed. I did nothing to deserve this and I'm tempted to release his MM # to models in case he tries to do this to anyone else.

Nov 18 11 02:41 am Link

Model

Bon voyage

Posts: 20302

Los Angeles, California, US

Have you tried calling the police about this?

Nov 18 11 02:48 am Link

Model

Dahlia

Posts: 17

Middletown, Connecticut, US

I'm scared to, the guy felt so bad he started crying. I'm probably letting him off too easy by not pressing charges but I can at least warn other models.

Nov 18 11 02:50 am Link

Photographer

- Phil H -

Posts: 26552

Mildenhall, England, United Kingdom

Moderator Note!

Dahlia  wrote:
I do a lot of nude/bondage modeling and I've worked with a lot of great people. 99% of the time I bring an escort. Now, there is a photographer I did a non-sexual couples shoot with in the past and the pictures were great and he seemed like a nice guy. We were set to do a sexy school girl shoot today which we did, then we moved on to oil and water nudes (for TF, stupid on my part) and he came up behind me (totally unexpectedly and clearly without permission) with oil on his hand and started rubbing "between my legs" with it. I spun around and was like "whoa dude f*** you", had a civil but tense conversation with him, demanded my photographs still be sent by mail and promptly left. I had another photographer who call him to handle the matter. But goddamn it, i feel so dirty and ashamed and violated. I cried so hard on the ride home, once i stopped and got home i took a shower and changed. I did nothing to deserve this and I'm tempted to release his MM # to models in case he tries to do this to anyone else.

Please don't do this as it will only result in the post being hidden. The best thing to do is contact the MM moderators via CAM and report the matter to them.

Please be sure to include a link to his profile and/or his MM number, along with details of precisely what happened. The Mods will then help you from there.

As Ninja said, you should also strongly consider filing a police report, so at the very least there is an official record of what took place.

Nov 18 11 02:51 am Link

Model

Dahlia

Posts: 17

Middletown, Connecticut, US

"Please don't do this as it will only result in the post being hidden. The best thing to do is contact the MM moderators via and report the matter to them.

Please be sure to include a link to his profile and/or his MM number, along with details of precisely what happened. The Mods will then help you from there."

I did just that Phil, thanks for your advice.

Nov 18 11 02:55 am Link

Photographer

Isaiah Brink

Posts: 2328

Charlotte, North Carolina, US

Oddly enough, I agree with the Moderator on this one.  I know, it's a bad situation, but the forum rules say releasing his MM# would be outing and a mod may have or the wrong mod may be on a power trip and consider it outing, but using the cam feature may be your best option.  I agree, that was inappropriate, completely.

Nov 18 11 02:56 am Link

Photographer

- Phil H -

Posts: 26552

Mildenhall, England, United Kingdom

Dahlia  wrote:
"Please don't do this as it will only result in the post being hidden. The best thing to do is contact the MM moderators via and report the matter to them.

Please be sure to include a link to his profile and/or his MM number, along with details of precisely what happened. The Mods will then help you from there."

I did just that Phil, thanks for your advice.

You're very welcome smile

Nov 18 11 02:59 am Link

Model

Roswell Ivory

Posts: 116

London, England, United Kingdom

Please, please, call the police.

That little rat was probably crying because he was scared of you!! What if he has done this to other models before you? What about after? You cannot warn every model on the internet and if he's done it once, he will do it again.
Please make sure other models don't have to go through the same- and report it.

Nov 18 11 03:05 am Link

Photographer

CapePhotographicStudio

Posts: 45

Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

Very sorry to hear what happened. You do not deserve what happened to you and clearly this horrible incedent happened through no fault of your own. You did nothing wrong and could not have foresee his inappropriate actions.

Take care and all of the best.

Nov 18 11 03:07 am Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 12067

Grand Rapids, Michigan, US

Dahlia  wrote:
I do a lot of nude/bondage modeling and I've worked with a lot of great people. 99% of the time I bring an escort. Now, there is a photographer I did a non-sexual couples shoot with in the past and the pictures were great and he seemed like a nice guy. We were set to do a sexy school girl shoot today which we did, then we moved on to oil and water nudes (for TF, stupid on my part) and he came up behind me (totally unexpectedly and clearly without permission) with oil on his hand and started rubbing "between my legs" with it. I spun around and was like "whoa dude f*** you", had a civil but tense conversation with him, demanded my photographs still be sent by mail and promptly left. I had another photographer who call him to handle the matter. But goddamn it, i feel so dirty and ashamed and violated. I cried so hard on the ride home, once i stopped and got home i took a shower and changed. I did nothing to deserve this and I'm tempted to release his MM # to models in case he tries to do this to anyone else.

Sorry to hear that this happened, but I've got to wonder about the bold part.  It's almost certainly not relevant, and there's nothing inherently stupid about shooting "oil and water nudes", whatever that is, TF.

Nov 18 11 03:16 am Link

Photographer

Cherrystone

Posts: 37171

Columbus, Ohio, US

Art of the nude wrote:

Sorry to hear that this happened, but I've got to wonder about the bold part.  It's almost certainly not relevant, and there's nothing inherently stupid about shooting "oil and water nudes", whatever that is, TF.

Dude......you actually went there? The fuck. roll

Nov 18 11 03:29 am Link

Photographer

Glamour by Glenn

Posts: 1033

Chattanooga, Tennessee, US

Girl, I'm so sorry to hear you have been put in this situation by this creep. But make no mistake about it, that is sexual assault. He has gotten away with it- so far. There are two possibilities I can think of:

1. It was a momentary lapse of judgment and you have scared him into never doing that to another innocent woman.

2. He will do whatever he thinks he can get away with, and the more he gets away with the bolder he will become.

You have your own choices to make, but are you convinced so surely that he fits choice number one that you think other young beautiful ladies are going to be safe with him? Be strong, do what you think is RIGHT.

And I hope you are OK. Talk to someone close to you about it, someone you trust.

Nov 18 11 03:41 am Link

Photographer

PTPhotoUT

Posts: 1961

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

I'm sorry this happend to you. Shit heads like that are the ones that make all photographers look bad. Please call the police. Just maybe a friendly inmate will touch him inappropriately, let him know how it feels.

Nov 18 11 03:47 am Link

Photographer

B R U N E S C I

Posts: 25319

Bath, England, United Kingdom

Dahlia  wrote:
I'm scared to, the guy felt so bad he started crying. I'm probably letting him off too easy by not pressing charges but I can at least warn other models.

MM rules allow you to put his MM# and the words "not recommended" in the credit section of your profile. I would suggest that after the interest in this thread has died down you should do just that. It's not much, but at least any other models who see his # on your profile will have the hint to ask you about him.

Whether you press charges with the police is up to you. If you report the incident though (even without pressing charges), then at least they will have his name on file in the event that anybody else reports something similar.




Just my $0.02

Ciao
Stefano

www.stefanobrunesci.com

Nov 18 11 03:57 am Link

Photographer

Drew Smith Photography

Posts: 5214

Nottingham, England, United Kingdom

Dahlia

Some tough love:

The fact that it was a photo shoot and you were already naked and that you'd worked with him before has no bearing on any of this. And the least of your concerns right now is 'outing' on MM or any other such trivia. Strip away all of that and it is, and was sexual abuse.

You should treat it as such. Report it to protect others and consider seeking professional help to 'deal with' what happened.

Wishing you the best

Drew

Nov 18 11 04:05 am Link

Photographer

pullins photography

Posts: 5884

Troy, Michigan, US

Dahlia  wrote:
I do a lot of nude/bondage modeling and I've worked with a lot of great people. 99% of the time I bring an escort. Now, there is a photographer I did a non-sexual couples shoot with in the past and the pictures were great and he seemed like a nice guy. We were set to do a sexy school girl shoot today which we did, then we moved on to oil and water nudes (for TF, stupid on my part) and he came up behind me (totally unexpectedly and clearly without permission) with oil on his hand and started rubbing "between my legs" with it. I spun around and was like "whoa dude f*** you", had a civil but tense conversation with him, demanded my photographs still be sent by mail and promptly left. I had another photographer who call him to handle the matter. But goddamn it, i feel so dirty and ashamed and violated. I cried so hard on the ride home, once i stopped and got home i took a shower and changed. I did nothing to deserve this and I'm tempted to release his MM # to models in case he tries to do this to anyone else.

why did you call another photographer to "handle the matter?"

Nov 18 11 04:30 am Link

Model

Dahlia

Posts: 17

Middletown, Connecticut, US

pullins photography wrote:

why did you call another photographer to "handle the matter?"

I was too upset to speak to him myself after what happened..I just wanted to make sure I still got my pictures

Nov 18 11 04:32 am Link

Photographer

Jeff Fiore

Posts: 9225

Brooklyn, New York, US

Dahlia  wrote:

I was too upset to speak to him myself after what happened..I just wanted to make sure I still got my pictures

After that, I wouldn't even care about the photos.

Nov 18 11 04:42 am Link

Photographer

Images by MR

Posts: 8908

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Dahlia  wrote:
99% of the time I bring an escort.

So did you bring a escort to this shooting ??

Nov 18 11 05:03 am Link

Photographer

jesse paulk

Posts: 3712

Phoenix, Arizona, US

Dahlia  wrote:
I do a lot of nude/bondage modeling and I've worked with a lot of great people. 99% of the time I bring an escort. Now, there is a photographer I did a non-sexual couples shoot with in the past and the pictures were great and he seemed like a nice guy. We were set to do a sexy school girl shoot today which we did, then we moved on to oil and water nudes (for TF, stupid on my part) and he came up behind me (totally unexpectedly and clearly without permission) with oil on his hand and started rubbing "between my legs" with it. I spun around and was like "whoa dude f*** you", had a civil but tense conversation with him, demanded my photographs still be sent by mail and promptly left. I had another photographer who call him to handle the matter. But goddamn it, i feel so dirty and ashamed and violated. I cried so hard on the ride home, once i stopped and got home i took a shower and changed. I did nothing to deserve this and I'm tempted to release his MM # to models in case he tries to do this to anyone else.

call the police. screw the photos.

Nov 18 11 05:04 am Link

Photographer

Loki Studio

Posts: 3523

Royal Oak, Michigan, US

Anybody touching your genitals without permission is a sexual assault.  Call the police now.

Nov 18 11 05:09 am Link

Model

Zoe SS

Posts: 263

Atlanta, Georgia, US

I'm sorry that happened to you.... I know how that feels. I would give the cops a call. Just be warned though the cops may make you feel worse and just be ...not very nice. But you definitely should report it. No one has the right to do that without your permission. Ever.

Nov 18 11 05:32 am Link

Model

Faith EnFire

Posts: 13514

Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US

Roswell Ivory wrote:
Please, please, call the police.

That little rat was probably crying because he was scared of you!! What if he has done this to other models before you? What about after? You cannot warn every model on the internet and if he's done it once, he will do it again.
Please make sure other models don't have to go through the same- and report it.

please please please

Nov 18 11 05:41 am Link

Photographer

Sungoddess Studios

Posts: 5191

Keyport, New Jersey, US

I never touch a model. An MUA is the only one who should put on oil and only in this circumstance the places you can't reach. like the center of the back.
put him on your bad references list. Always have an escort.

Nov 18 11 05:53 am Link

Photographer

Vanderplas

Posts: 1427

Hong Kong, Hong Kong, China

jesse paulk wrote:
call the police. screw the photos.

and what is officer gonna say? what my mum used to say : don't play with fire if you don't want to get burnt

Nov 18 11 06:07 am Link

Model

adrina lynn

Posts: 42

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

You shouldn't have gotten another photographer directly involved in the matter. I understand you didn't want anything to do with him afterwards, but a follow up conversation between you two wasn't needed after you left. However, what he did to you needs to be reported to the police, not necessarily the people here on modelmayhem. Definitely tell the mods his mm # so other people don't have to go through the same thing with him, but so far you're not going about it the right way, other than leaving immediately afterwards. And if i were you, i would forget about the pictures - no one wants to be associated in any way with a total creep...

Nov 18 11 06:12 am Link

Model

Faith EnFire

Posts: 13514

Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US

Crystal Perido wrote:

and what is officer gonna say? what my mum used to say : don't play with fire if you don't want to get burnt

the cop is going to say "ok, would you like to press charges" or at the very least, "let me take a report"

so that when he does it to another girl, there will be record of this behavior

It is unacceptable and it is sexual assault which is a crime. Keeping silent only gives them power to do it again.

I will never understand women who have your attitude

Nov 18 11 06:12 am Link

Photographer

wolfdenlab

Posts: 180

Norton, Massachusetts, US

So sorry to read this; should never have happened.

I agree with the room here, get the police involved.

Nov 18 11 06:15 am Link

Photographer

wolfdenlab

Posts: 180

Norton, Massachusetts, US

_Adrina Lynn_ wrote:
And if i were you, i would forget about the pictures - no one wants to be associated in any way with a total creep...

+1   

...and why would you want the constant reminder of what happened, sitting in your portfolio?

Nov 18 11 06:17 am Link

Photographer

Vanderplas

Posts: 1427

Hong Kong, Hong Kong, China

Faith EnFire wrote:
It is unacceptable

It is but you have no witnesses, no proof and you were standing there consentually naked playing with oil and water

Nov 18 11 06:21 am Link

Photographer

CapePhotographicStudio

Posts: 45

Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

Images by MR wrote:

So did you bring a escort to this shooting ??

What has that to do with anything. Are you insinuating that because she didn't take an escort that gave the tog the right to assume that he can grope her. What bullshit. That is like saying that because she was wearing a short skirt she asked to be raped. It is due to attitudes like that that result in these pricks getting away with it.

Nov 18 11 06:25 am Link

Photographer

Darren Sermon

Posts: 1139

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Dahlia  wrote:

I was too upset to speak to him myself after what happened..I just wanted to make sure I still got my pictures

For your portfolio?

Nov 18 11 06:28 am Link

Photographer

Darren Sermon

Posts: 1139

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Crystal Perido wrote:
and what is officer gonna say? what my mum used to say : don't play with fire if you don't want to get burnt

A shoot involving nudity isn't an invitation to be treated in a non-consensual manner.

Sexual assaults happen every day to fully clothed, partially clothed and unclothed people.

Nov 18 11 06:31 am Link

Photographer

Zinc Photography

Posts: 190

Potomac, Maryland, US

Crystal Perido wrote:

It is but you have no witnesses, no proof and you were standing there consentually naked playing with oil and water

I disagree completely. The OP consented to photographs but not to being groped. Its totally up to you to contact the Police but I would recommend it.
Let the Police or an Attorney tell you if you can press charges or file a lawsuit. Don't rely on people outside of law enforcement or the legal community to tell you if you have a case.

Sorry this happened to you.

Nov 18 11 06:34 am Link

Photographer

John Rougeou

Posts: 96

Boyce, Louisiana, US

A true photographer knows that he never touches the model at any photo session.  If I see something that needs to be straightened, such as hair or a piece of clothing I let the model or their escort do it.  If there is no escort and I need to do it,I ask the model is it okay to do it.   This almost always refers to their hair.  I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER put oil on a model and then touch my camera equipment.  If you do not want to file charges, then you at least need to file a police report in case others come forward.

Nov 18 11 06:38 am Link

Model

Fergy

Posts: 22436

Fenton, Michigan, US

Crystal Perido wrote:

It is but you have no witnesses, no proof and you were standing there consentually naked playing with oil and water

This is like telling a rape victim its their fault.  WTF!  Being a nude model does not mean its ok for a photographer to touch EVER.  Regardless of what she is shooting. 


Jesus.

Nov 18 11 06:38 am Link

Photographer

Vanderplas

Posts: 1427

Hong Kong, Hong Kong, China

Fergy wrote:
Jesus.

Come on it was not art nude right?

Bondage, oil and water.............

An occupational hazard maybe?

Nov 18 11 06:41 am Link

Photographer

JLC Images

Posts: 11615

Phillipsburg, New Jersey, US

Crystal Perido wrote:
An occupational hazard maybe?

No, it is not.

Nov 18 11 06:48 am Link

Photographer

AJ_In_Atlanta

Posts: 13053

Atlanta, Georgia, US

Crystal Perido wrote:

It is but you have no witnesses, no proof and you were standing there consentually naked playing with oil and water

Naked or not does not matter, nor does TFP.  If it wasn't just a horrible lack of thought on the part of the photographer and he is a sexual predator he would have acting regardless if she was payed, dressed, or about any other thing.  Report it, not much may come of a he said/ she said sort of thing but report it.  It's not her responsibility to worry about what they do once she reports it, but nothing will happen if she doesn't for sure.

Nov 18 11 06:50 am Link

Photographer

afplcc

Posts: 6020

Fairfax, Virginia, US

Dahlia, I"m sorry this happened to you.

First, think about talking to someone professionally about this  I don't mean to imply you're scarred for life or you aren't strong.  It's that traumatic stuff has a way of insidiously staying inside us when we convince ourselves "I've moved past this."

Second, do talk to the police.  Maybe you get satisfaction, maybe you don't.  But the "easiest" thing in the world to do with a sex crime (and this is a sex crime) is to try and not think about it, to avoid it in your mind, to push past it.  And if he does this again to another model then the lack of a report encourages this again down the road.

Yes, maybe all the police do is take a report.  Maybe you get a cop that isn't very sympathetic or doesn't understand what you're doing.  But through no fault of your own, you've been placed in a bad spot and going to the police is the responsible thing to do.

Ed

Nov 18 11 06:51 am Link