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Worst shoot ever
My worst shoot was with Bruce because he kept insisting that if he shot me people might find out I am his secret lover. My second worst shoot was today with Steve Azzara, who not only took some fantastic pics of me that I pray are good enough to put into his next book but also forced a print of Nerlande on me to hang on my wall. Yep, everyone here just sucks. *and for those of you who don't get sarcasm......bite me* Jul 13 06 01:09 am Link 81 Jul 13 06 01:12 am Link Lapis wrote: Poor Lapis -- How do you put up with such crap? You have my profound sympathies. Jul 13 06 01:13 am Link Okay....Pat can bite me. I think he's kinda cool. Are you schooled in the art of erotic Jul 13 06 01:14 am Link Lapis wrote: But of course. Jul 13 06 01:16 am Link Lapis wrote: L A P I S ! ! ! ! Jul 13 06 01:16 am Link Richard Tallent wrote: OMG Jul 13 06 01:17 am Link Pat Thielen wrote: I need some blackmail photos of me with a certain photographer during our secret rendevous....but there may be some biting. Would you be interested in doing some kind of discrete shoot the next time Jul 13 06 01:20 am Link Anjel Britt wrote: Actually, having one eye smaller than the other or even having one lower than the other is quite common. You can shoot the photos so this doesn't show up as much, and with makeup it can be covered quite readily. Look at Shannon Doherty or Lucy Liu for examples. We are generally not symmetrical; those of us that are should feel quite lucky! Jul 13 06 01:20 am Link Lapis wrote: No problem. I have my super-secret uber-sensitive spy camera that can be hidden in the smallest of spaces. Of course, I'll need to be nearby to properly configure it. You understand of course. And besides that, I wear black. Jul 13 06 01:23 am Link Anjel Britt wrote: Oh god...we aren't talking about b(o)(o)bies again, are we? Jul 13 06 01:25 am Link Try making bite marks with an overbite, it takes forever and looks like a small child attacked the person.... Jul 13 06 01:27 am Link model arrived late and stoned,my lights failed,hotel room was past checkout time, and my camera had backfocus problems i was unaware of, a real winner, vegas 05.[ ps there was no starch in my pants] Jul 13 06 01:30 am Link Modeling bikinis when I was 17 - on a beach - in the water - in October...in BUFFALO!! I'm still defrosting. Jul 13 06 01:31 am Link Andrew Kaiser wrote: Sounds like that Mother Teresa Nerlande. Jul 13 06 01:31 am Link Doug Mackay DMP wrote: It sounds like the worst part of the shoot was that your model did not offer to share her goods. Then all that other stuff wouldn't have mattered so much. Jul 13 06 01:32 am Link Lapis wrote: I dont get sarcasm ! the biting I will get to like! Jul 13 06 01:32 am Link UnoMundo Photography wrote: Well, in that case, fly me to Vegas so you can bite me. Maybe we can have the worst shoot ever together and then talk about how much the other one sucks. Jul 13 06 01:35 am Link Lapis wrote: Incredible edible offer! Jul 13 06 01:36 am Link Pat Thielen wrote: ::: ear against wall, peering through with x-ray vision ::: Jul 13 06 01:36 am Link Bruce Talbot wrote: damn it, are you going to take me that dark hotel room with velvet light obliterating curtains again to prevent Pat from his new mission? When will I actually get to, like, you know, SEE you? Jul 13 06 02:08 am Link ::: Note to self - tie blindfold a wee bit tighter next time. ::: Jul 13 06 02:14 am Link I am beginning to think I need to learn how to use my camera phone so I can charge 1000$/hr to experience my worst shoot ever. It just seems I am not doing a very good job with this bad shoot thing.......It's like, you know, I have good experiences and shoot with great photographers (even if it in dark hotel rooms). Do you think the above action may help me experience a truly bad shoot? Or should I just go to some of the photographers who shall remain unnamed but have been kicked off innumerable internet websites because of their unfortunate tendancies to manipulate poor innocent models with camera phone pics into shooting with an agency photographer TFBJ? Jul 13 06 02:15 am Link so much for staying on topic. Jul 13 06 02:21 am Link Dave Wright Photo wrote: wanna try and make my worst shoot ever experience? Jul 13 06 02:32 am Link i guess mine would be the opposite for the models... my classmate found out i got a new camera and she mentioned to me that she wants to break into the modeling scene. she would tell me that she needs to get shots done so she can expand her portfolio, i was fine with the idea untill she said that she wants to get nude shots also. after her mentioning that i always tried to avoid having a talk with her about taking photos coz i felt very uncomfortable... and no, we didn't end up taking any pics. Jul 13 06 03:37 am Link AndrewG wrote: ouch!!! Jul 13 06 03:44 am Link I feel so deprived! I can't think of any disasters ... well my first photo shoot with a girl from high school was pretty bad. We went out to the park at high noon and I shot her with slide film. Talk about strong contrast! Made her look like Frankenstein's bride ... I felt bad about the results and she probably never posed again! But the most exciting time was right "after" a shoot when a beautiful German model and her female escort kidnapped me. Drove me to my photo lab a hundred miles an hour, insisted that I process the film right then. It was black and white film, so I did it. I joked about it, but they were ready to practice their S & M techniques on me ... and I might have enjoyed that. She had lied about her age, and I was happy to just give her the proofs and negatives with her promise of not bothering me again. lol Many models tell me about their creepy photographer experiences so I guess they are comfortable with me. Sure would hate to be the subject of any creepy photographer stories. Photography is so much fun for me, and I'm not much good at anything else!  I find that being honest and having a sense of humor will get you through most anything! Jul 13 06 03:58 am Link Nerlande wrote: Jul 13 06 04:02 am Link Glenn Francis wrote: Oh.. I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure there's a difference between pornographic and artistic nudes.. both are not intended for erotic pleasure therefore that is not what nude modeling is limited to nor is it the overall intent for all types of pictures. Jul 13 06 04:06 am Link James Graham wrote: Hahahahahahahahahhahahahaha Jul 13 06 04:08 am Link Nerlande wrote: Durham Sorrow wrote: There's no need for such a thread. I've actually spread my awesomeness nationwide. C'mon now. **Sits back laughing ass off while stuffing face with more popcorn and bon bons** Jul 13 06 04:11 am Link markcomp wrote: Wynd Mulysa wrote: Bullshit ! Jul 13 06 04:16 am Link ive only had one shoot, but i started having a violent reaction to a new medication during it and was very sick and had a fever, and as soon as i walked out of the shoot i became so ill that i couldnt talk, and as soon as i got home i ran into the bathroom and proceeded to throw up so much for so long that my husband thought i might have to go to the emergency room. i dont think the photographer had any idea; concentrating on what i was doing helped me not to think about it. otherwise, the shoot was great! Jul 13 06 08:57 am Link Lapis wrote: ::CRUNCH:: Jul 13 06 11:25 am Link Odlly enough, the last shoot I had that went really badly resulted in several very powerful images...so go figure. I do wish I were awesome...but alas. Jul 13 06 11:37 am Link Not neccesarily the worst shoot ever - but an interesteing story: A model that I had intended to shoot last winter (but had to cancel after our location fell through) called around 9pm to say he was on the road with some friends and headed to my town. He wanted to know if I could fit in a shoot the following day. I had another shoot scheduled for the afternoon, but told him, sure - as long as we could wrap up by 4pm I would be fine. We agreed and hung up. I got my stuff together and eventually went to bed for the night. At a little after midnight, the guy calls back. He said he had been dropped off here in town, but that the people he was supposed to stay with here weren't around. The management at the building he was at had told him he couldn't sleep there for the night and he wanted to know if he could come over to my place and crash for the night. After some discussion I realized that it was probably the only thing I could do. So I got in my car, drove over and picked him up. We sat up and talked for a few hours, but I eventually went to bed around 3am and let him crash in the living room on the couch. The next morning we got up, each showered and got ready for the shoot. I asked him how he was planning to get home. (He lived about a 2 hour drive from my town.) He said he had some friends that he was going to call to come get him when the shoot was over. (Can you see where this is going?) After the outdoor portion of the shoot I told him to go ahead and give his friends a call. I fugured that by the time they got here, we would be done with the shoot. Yep, you guessed it, his friends never picked up his calls. He called like 5 times and left messages every time, but no one ever returned any of his calls. Eventually I realized that the only way he was going to get home was if I drove him there myself. Luckily my shoot that afternoon was in Detroit, and in the same basic area where he lived, so it was on my way anyway. When we finally pulled up to his house and I dropped him off he said something like: "Kevin, if you ever need a reference don't hesitate to ask." LOL!!! Jul 13 06 12:10 pm Link I showed up to the shoot and the photographer was hanging dime store fabric up on the wall. He then to took me to "wardrobe" amd proceeded to give me absolutley no privacy when changing, even coming into the room unnanounced to catch glimpes of me changing (if it had been a nude shoot, I probably would have dropped dress right on front of him, but being that it was not, I felt I deserved some level of privacy). The entire shoot he went on and on about how he had no social life because of his taking care of his sick mother and what a nice girl I was. He also had a video camera set up in the corner, which we had NOT agreed on. Wandering around the apartment was his "day job"...a mentally challenged young man the photog was suppose to be supervising. I chalked this up to a learning experience and am glad he didn't get a model release signed by me. This particular photog's profile has improved since we've shot, so my hopes is he's learned from this as well. Jul 13 06 12:20 pm Link Boboshadodo1 wrote: Meh.... but apology accepted. Jul 13 06 03:03 pm Link Wow..my original post for Worst Shoot really generated a lot of replies. Here's mine. I contacted a 'beginner' model on another modeling site (which shall remain nameless) and arranged to meet her at her house. I live in a beautiful area of the country and like using the natural mountain and woods landscape in some of my photos. The plan was to shoot outdoors in a scenic spot that she had in mind. When I arrived at her house (literally a little run down shack way out in the middle of nowhere on the end of a dirt road in the woods) I realized there was something horribly wrong. The model was much older than her photos would lead one to believe and I mean MUCH older. Here was this woman, who must have been mabey 50, standing there ready to shoot. Her gray scraggly hair was matted, she had teeth missing, was overweight and was wearing a large and cheap looking pewter pentangle medalion necklace around her neck. The lady was a freakin witch! A real witch! Being the liberal and open minded individual that I am and not one to judge another's spiritual beliefs, I laughed it off and figured, what the heck, let's shoot. Mabey there would be some interesting shots anyway. So we hiked up into the woods to the spot where she wanted to shoot. All the time I'm totally on my guard wondering what kind of "trick" she's going to pull. We get to the spot which is a cluster of big dark looming boulders, the kind that when you look at them, you think must have wild furry critters living in the crevices beneath them. So I sit her down on a rock by a weird looking twisted and knarly tree and begin to shoot. Soon she starts slapping her leg and yipping...oW!...OW!. Seems she sat right on a nest of ground bees that were NOT into photography. A swarm of bees start coming out of the base of the tree. We both picked up and high tailed out of the woods with her yipping and yelping and tearing off her clothes as she went trying to get the bees out of her pants. (Not a good way to get a model naked) We get out in the open and the bees are buzzing around her but not me. I explain that the more she moved around the madder she was going to make the bees. (I once raised honey bees) Finally she slows down and the bees back off. Thank God..or mabey Satan...she was not alergic to bees and was fine except for a few bee stings. Both of us, now noticibly shaken, make it back to her shack where we say a polite and professional thank you and goodbye and "I'll send you the CD". At the last minute she offers me a drink from the house. Being the polite and professional person that I am, I accept, while she goes into the house to fill what turns out to be a rather chewed on yellow plastic cup of foul smelling "water". I dutifully downed the elixer, thanked the witch, and drove my exit out the long grass grown driveway to the dead end dirt road and headed for daylight, all the time wondering what I had just downed and thankful that my friends the bees had saved me from a darker plight. Jul 14 06 09:57 am Link |
