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Anyone been cyber stalked by a "photographer?"
I'll try to make this as brief as possible while giving all pertinent details. Right after I first posted my profile here, I was contacted via email by a "photographer" asking about work. We emailed a time or two, and then I phoned him and we spoke for quite some time. He seemed normal enough, but it was a red flag to me that he did not have a profile on MM. Then, he emailed me, and he was very unprofessional, asking for topless photos and such that he "needed." Of course, I did not send them. He called again, but I happened to be on the phone with a friend in crisis (ladies, you know the ones with the crappy ass boyfriends that want you to fix all their problems). Anyway, I sent him a message that I was on the phone with my best friend and would call him later. Well, he proceeded to send me an email that if I was serious about this profession, I would tell my friend to get off the damn phone so I could handle my business...just very rude. So, between that and the earlier unprofessional communication, I decided this guy wasn't worth it. So, I emailed him again and told him that due to the illness I had told him about in our phone conversation (again, which is true, I do have a chronic illness that causes me severe pain on a daily basis and does not allow me to work a "normal" 40 hour per week job) and just could not work with him at this time. I felt as though that was the most professional way to handle things and "break things off" with this guy that was making me feel very uncomfortable. In addition, when doing research on him, his "company" could not be located via any search engine, and the images he sent seemed sketchy. So, as devil's advocate, maybe I should have just said "you creep me out and your company seems bogus, go away." But, I have found that usually with crazy people you have to be gentle, which is why I handled it the way I did. Well, the guy FLIPPED OUT ON ME via email. Told me that he would be watching me on MM and other sites and if he saw me soliciting work or messaging people, he would know I had lied to him and would "flip out" on me (his words, I still have the email). So, I politely replied to him that I did not wish to have any further contact with him via phone, email, or any other form of communication, and I further advised him that further contact after my telling him not to would be illegal. He emailed me again!!! So, I looked up the statutes in his state and found it very clear that was he was doing just by contacting me after I asked him not to and by threatening to "stalk" me via the internet was illegal. So, I let him know again that his behavior was unacceptable and I would report him to the authorities. Well, he left me alone for a while, but today, I got an email from him...using a different email address, stating that he has been seeing my forum replies on MM at 3am and this that and the other, so obviously I lied to him about my illness (funny thing is, the reason I am up at 3am is because I can't sleep due to the PAIN from my illness) and I'm crazy and on and on and on (okay, no wise cracks about my being crazy..lol). This guy is really scaring me! Okay, not in the fear mongering way, guys, but what kind of person spends their time tracking someone else's forum posts and such to see what they are doing...I think this is the definition of both GWC and creepy freak. And I'm guessing he'll read this post too since he's now stalking me on MM. Anyway, has anyone else had this happen with someone from, oh, say...Minnesota? And, do you think I should go through with contacting the authorities in his area? I already looked up the specific statute and was able to reverse lookup his phone number to find his city and real name. Advice please. Gosh, I didn't know we'd need escorts just to post on the forum!!!!! Oct 07 06 10:26 pm Link Just reading this creeps me out. Call the authorities. Oct 07 06 10:32 pm Link No, I've not been stalked by anyone before. But it certainly sounds like this guy is a bit obsessed with you for whatever reason. And sadly enough this topic seems to come up every now and again. I think you're doing the right thing by checking the relevant state laws and I hope you're keeping everything he sends you and documenting the phone calls. I think I'd give him one more warning; a rather stern warning at that, and if he continues then I'd file a complaint with the police. This sort of crap should not be tolerated. -P- Oct 07 06 10:33 pm Link Since you know his name and address, have a lawyer send him a nicely worded letter telling him to take a hike. Oct 07 06 10:35 pm Link Please follow thru and report him to the police, if for nothing else than your safety and peace of mind. You should take copies of correspondence with you when you go to file a report. This guy will just go and bother another person if he is not handled properly, and you're likely not the only one he is harrassing now. I agree that kid gloves are needed with some people, so you did the best thing when turning him away, and were more upfront when he continued to contact you when you asked him to refrain. Besides, people are allowed to change their mind, aren't they!? I know I've met a few people over the years that I had to say no to after I thought they were cool to work with... sometimes you have to go with that gut instinct. Also, you can report his activity to your internet provider as well as local authorities. Hiding behind the computer doesn't mean that what he is doing is any less illegal. Take care of yourself, and I hope this resolves itself quietly, safely and in your favor. Good luck with your health troubles too, I wish you the best! Oct 07 06 10:35 pm Link If you have all of this documented then I also recommend contacting the authorities in his area. Also make sure, if he's emailed you, that you show all the headers and send the emails showing all the headers to his email company (even if it's just hotmail) letting them know what he's doing. My husband and I had somebody threaten us just based on an ad we put on Craigslist (we put in our ad that we would not let meat in the house, but it was fine what people did outside of it) and literally had the most scary thing possible occur. He threatened me and my husband and he didn't even know us. It got listed under Texas laws as a terrorist act. We didn't know at the time we contacted the authorities. So yeah, definitely make sure you contact them and keep everything documented. I know some of the mods here have been threatened as well. It's one of the things that happens when you put your information out on the Internet which is why most of us use pseudonyms when we are on the web. Things like this can happen all to easily. Good luck and be safe. Oct 07 06 10:39 pm Link Do not delete any emails he sends you. They may need the source information. Save them to a special folder and also keep print outs. Begin keeping a record of his activities...whether he calls, emails or instant messages you. Note the date and time and keep relevant print outs with the record. Oct 07 06 10:42 pm Link Thank you all for your speedy responses! I DO have all the emails back and forth between us documenting everything. Thank you for the advice on contacting my internet provider also, and I guess could I contact his email provider? Molly, something else weird about his email...when it shows up, it had his "company" name in the from box, as in abc [email protected], but when you clicked on the properties of the email, it was actually just a hotmail account. And now he is using a yahoo account. I use a psuedonym on here as well, but I guess even that can't protect us from all the crazies. And thank you for the kind thoughts reference my illness...I really do appreciate that! austyn Oct 07 06 10:46 pm Link It's not weird about the "business name" - it's just what he put instead of his real name. It's very easy to do. That's why you need to show all the headers. Not only does it show everything that the provider and the police need to see, but it also shows how it traveled to you which is important in cyber stalking. I have fibromyalgia so I completely understand about the pain and weird hours due to insomnia. If anybody tried to tell me I was lying due to when I was writing I would literally rip them a new one. But I have to admit, I got scared when that guy wrote the things he did to me. It gets nerve wracking and can add a lot of stress (which can make you even more ill). So just contact your local authorities. They'll tell you who to contact and whether or not it's in their jurisdiction. If it isn't, they'll tell you how to find out who to contact. Like I said before, good luck and be safe. Oct 08 06 12:45 am Link Little off topic, but I have a phone stalker who calls every other night wanting to go bowling, at like... 1 or 2 in the morning. She also claims that we once dated, then changed the story to we were once married, when I don't even know an ashley. 1: I'm 22, never been married, hell longest relationship can be measured in months 2: Never met or talked to or known anyone named Ashley before. When I confront her about it she breaks down on the phone and I feel terrible lol... She knows my full name, email, phone, and a lot about me, but thankfully I havent spotted any beady little eyes in the bushes outside my uh...penthouse (read suite) just yet. Right now she thinks I'm in Banff so I'm safe for a while. As for your problem, theres lots of creepy guys out there, be careful about who you decide to meet, if it seems they don't have any background, or just want nude photos of you, something is wrong. -Nick Oct 08 06 01:30 am Link This photographer seems to have an issue with the worn "NO". I thnk he might be your every day of the mill GWC. Report him or he will never leave you alone. If i have models that don't want to shoot with i just let it go. There are more models to work with to go through such trouble. Take care. Magic Image Oct 08 06 01:50 am Link I've had 'em get pushy and I've had 'em ask me multiple times to shoot with 'em to the point I had to get bitey with 'em. No one's stupid enough to stalk me. I'd return the favor with highly unfavorable results. Nemi Oct 08 06 01:58 am Link as a victim of a very bad and very ruthless stalker, let me give you a few points of advice from my experiences. many stalkers are unstable, so the last thing you should do is piss them off, my advice to you is to ignore all contact he makes with you, and i mean all, e-mails, phone calls, letters, etc. I would check what YOUR state anti-stalking laws are, not just his, and keep a copy of everything he sends or leaves. if he leaves a message on a digital phone, you can get a chep tape recorder at a radio shack and put your phone on speaker phone and record it b4 it erases. . If things get worse, report to the police and make sure you have duplicate copies of everything in a safe place. I would give the copies of your documents to a friend or someone that doesn't live with you as well as his e-mail and personal info if you have it. if you are successful at ignoring his bait, he will more than likely move on to the next victim. by sending any kind of restraining orders you could potentialy piss him off more and waken the ogre within, which he sounds like he is close to anyhow. if he persists and it doesn't stop, file a complaint with your local DA and get a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter, this is a precursor to a restraining order. good luck and remember no further contact Oct 08 06 02:19 am Link He's certainly not a professional photographer. You'll hear the term GWC a fair bit around here and this guy sounds like he fits the mould in the sense that he uses his pathetic attempt at photography as an excuse to talk to beautiful girls. Pitiful, laughable and, in some cases, scary because there's more to it. This guy sounds like a worry, he's certainly not behaving normally. Perhaps getting the authorities involved, or at least aware of the situation, is a good idea. Oct 08 06 03:54 am Link Austyn229 wrote: Hey, Austyn you're the cop from this thread: Austyn229 wrote: Why do you keep coming here trying to scare young women? Or are you attempting to get models to come out with other stories? Austyn229 wrote: If you are truly being cyberstalked, which I seriously doubt, just tell your brother or your husband. Or is this one of those phantoms like the over two dozen criminal assaults involving photographers and models that you claim to have personal knowledge of. There can't be over 40 professional photographers in your town, by your numbers over half of them are criminals. Please stop the creepy scare tactics. Oct 08 06 07:09 am Link Austyn, I believe your stalker may be an MM member Oct 08 06 07:46 am Link No - But I was cyberstalked by my webdesigner Oct 08 06 07:48 am Link Personally, I made copies of all printable correspondence and jot down a log of everything that you can remember. Then, I'd send a copy to your local police department, as well as the PD that covers his jurisdiction. The fact is that stalking is a serial behavior, and odds are that he has done it before and will do it again. I understand that you don't want to piss him off, but by reporting him to his local jurisdiction you might just give them the ammunition that they need to dig deeper and find something even more substantive. But it's easy to make the call from the cheap seats where I'm sitting. Good luck. Oct 08 06 07:55 am Link Carpe Imago Photography wrote: Agreed,get the men in blue to help ya out thats what they are there for. Oct 08 06 08:05 am Link Vito wrote: No, not me dude. Frankly, I don't believe there is a stalker. Austyn229 wrote: He has to use the email address prominantly listed on Austyn229's profile whose addy is topcop. Yeah, sure that makes sense. Why not just dial 911 and act like a pervert with the emergency system operator? Oct 08 06 09:12 am Link dfstudios wrote: Vito wrote: No, not me dude. Frankly, I don't believe there is a stalker. Hmmm the plot unfolds..... interesting! Oct 08 06 09:18 am Link You need to file a police report Oct 08 06 09:24 am Link CareLyn Anita wrote: Hi CareLyn Anita, Oct 08 06 09:25 am Link Laura F wrote: Laura, she claims to be with the police. Oct 08 06 09:26 am Link figgers!!!! Oct 08 06 09:32 am Link So let me get this right... somebody... somewhere in the world... who has never physically seen you or in actuality knows you, or your real name or where you live... chases you around your computer screen. Hmmmm... interesting concept... luckily I have a cyber guard dog! Oct 08 06 09:34 am Link DfStudios: I am sorry you feel the way that you do. I would not come here and make up a bogus story to scare people, I have better things to do with my time. Just because I am a former police officer and so is my husband doesn't mean that people can't stalk me (and it's very ignorant of you to think that...police officers get stalked sometimes by people they've arrested, ticketed, taken their kids away, etc). That's why I've already looked up the law, reverse traced his phone number to get his full name, and so on. I think it's really sad of you to try and make people think that I am lying...or to try and make me feel bad for reporting an incident so that it doesn't happen to me anymore or anyone else. As you can see in my post, I called this guy a "photographer" because obviously I don't believe he is a real one. I am not trying to make anyone fear true professionals, or anyone for that matter...I was simply asking for advice and if anyone else has been through this situation, potentially with the same person. If you'd like me to give you his name, "company" name, phone number, city and state, I'd be more than happy to if that's what it takes to make you realize that I AM TELLING THE TRUTH, not fear mongering, not being a Sluggo or whatever you called it. It seems to me that as a professional, you would want people like this guy outed so as not to tarnish other photographers' reputations and make people afraid. I know you don't care, but you truly hurt my feelings by your words. To insinuate, well hell, you didn't even insinuate, but to come out and call me a liar...truly sad. If you knew one ounce of what I was about, you'd know that statement is the most ridiculous thing in the world. To all those that realize this is true, thank you for your advice, both here and on PM, and thank you for your support in dealing with this weirdo. Oct 08 06 09:35 am Link dfstudios wrote: Incorrect, I am a FORMER police officer. I don't "claim" to be with them. And further, there are jurisdictional considerations, as we are in different states. In some states, you have to file the report where the suspect lives, in some, where the crime occurs, etc. Because this is via internet, that brings in a whole other set of issues...like FCC (or whoever runs the net, I'm not sure at this point). Oct 08 06 09:37 am Link dfstudios wrote: Once again, wrong DFS...it ended when I got tired of being called a liar and having my integrity questioned and being made fun of. I provided the examples you guys were so dying to hear, and then I left because I had better things to do than get beaten up in a thread. And I am sorry you had to come here and call me a liar...truly sad. Oct 08 06 09:40 am Link Austyn229 wrote: Sorry, you are not simply asking for advice. As a former law enforcement officer you would need no advice on how to handle such a situation, if it were truly the case. I believe you are posting to raise fear. Austyn229 wrote: Where exactly is the weirdo? Oct 08 06 09:43 am Link Regardless of the validity of the OP's story, similar does happen. In such a case, regardless of if the person is using a throwaway email (yahoo, hotmail, etc) it is usually possible for the site admins to ID someone, based on various logs and such that may be in place. On my sites, we collect information that, when combined with a court order will turn up a persons identity 90% of the time. It's a built in feature. MM may have this, it may not. If you are having problems, check with the admins here. Also, a few links on cyber stalking http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbNa … ntID=32458 http://www.wiredsafety.org/cyberstalkin … index.html Oct 08 06 10:01 am Link Ummm have you? Call the MM "League" they have several would be super heroes who just happen to have cameras as well. They carry all sorts of things in their niffty utility belts such as almost useful advice, a multi purpose pat on the back tool, a special device for blowing smoke up each others butt and yours, a special protective layer I believe is called an M.O.D. defense screen system. They will jump into action to defend the world from talent,underage models , and anyone they quite frankly don't like. Keep in mind that tracking down cyber stalkers requires a signed release,compensation for use of "the" wood chipper and above all a proper understanding of the english language as used in the continental United States. Oct 08 06 10:09 am Link Oh and you have nothing to worry about. Oct 08 06 10:12 am Link Young lady. Call the authorities. This guy sounds like a creep. Oct 08 06 10:12 am Link I always wonder why people who are on the receiving end of such abuse keep interacting with the abuser. Maybe they'll suddenly see reason and leave you alone? They're looking for attention. If they know they've grabbed you psychologically they'll never leave you alone. They are like the people who like to argue for arguing sake. Stop replying to emails. Stop answering the phone for blocked numbers. Stop answering the phone for numbers you know he calls from. Stop saying anything once you know it's him on the phone, hang up. Seems like common sense to me. Oct 08 06 10:18 am Link Photographers who disrespect models on the forums, will disrespect them in their basements. The internet is like booze- it accentuates our true intentions. Oct 08 06 10:23 am Link Eric S. wrote: Yeah- cuz we are all EXACTLY as we act on the internet. WRONG ERIC. Its the ones who suck up and act like saints online who are the real maniacs offline, typically. Oct 08 06 10:26 am Link Eric, thanks for the support. DFS-Cops ask each other for advice ALL the time. Just because you are one or used to be doesn't mean you know everything and have all the answers. Just because you are a photographer, does that mean you know EVERYTHING related to the subject and never have a question? If so, kudos to you, you're doing better than most everyone else. And as I said, if you want the guy's info, I'll give it to you. You want me to forward you all the emails? Sure. But you'll just find yet another reason to call me a liar. And I can't remember who it was (sorry), but I did stop contact with him after I sent the second "cease and desist" email. I wouldn't answer if his name came up on caller id...and I hadn't heard from him in a while (I'd have to go back and look at the last email date, but I think it's been at least a month or month and a half)this is the first email he has sent in some time, with his anger that I have been "on the forums at 3am" and that obviously means I can't be sick. Molly, I am familiar with fibro, and I am sorry. I have IC (you may be familiar). Hang in there. austyn Oct 08 06 10:32 am Link dfstudios wrote: Austyn229 wrote: Sorry, you are not simply asking for advice. As a former law enforcement officer you would need no advice on how to handle such a situation, if it were truly the case. I believe you are posting to raise fear. Nice to see that some things never change. Some people are actually human beings and supportive and a few others..... more closely resemble some other species. Oct 08 06 11:21 am Link Eric S. wrote: St Eric the who? Oct 08 06 11:37 am Link |
