D. Brian Nelson wrote:
Is it a good thing to be a nice guy? 
-D

I was a nice guy for 50 years and it didn't get me diddly squat.

So now I'm trying the flip side for comparison.

I'll have an answer for you in 50 years.

luv2bfitt wrote:
...Better to be a niceguy who's occasionally an ass, than an asshole who's occasionally nice.....

Better to be a nice guy who occasionally gets laid, than an asshole who gets laid a lot.

OK, bad example.

William Coleman wrote:
Better to be a nice guy who occasionally gets laid, than an asshole who gets laid a lot.

That statement has made me lose all respect for you.

Dave Krueger wrote:

That statement has made me lose all respect for you.

LOL.  Even for the sake of humor and irony, it was hard to type the words.

D. Brian Nelson wrote:
Is it a good thing to be a nice guy?  Uh, as far as photography goes or something...

Yes...and no.

ArtyMaverick wrote:
Women do not like bad boys just because they are abusive. Actually that's the part they hate about them, and that's exactly what they are talking about when they say .... "huh ... he's such an a$$hole" ..... The bad boy has several attractive qualities which a lot of nice guys, for some reason, don't ....

1. Confidence and a genuine sense of pride in who he is and what he does ...... Manifests itself in authoritative, cocky behavior.
2. Doesn't kiss a$$ .... doesn't take sh&t from anybody, including beautiful women ..... Doesn't care about what people think about him ...... That's a sign of very strong personal boundary ...... It creates an air of challenge.
3. If befriended, he provides a strong sense of security just being around him .... Because nobody will mess with him any or of his friends.

If you are nice guy *and also* have these qualities ..... women will love you  .... be it dating .... be it photography.

And some of the reason these guys act this way is because they actually lack self esteem and confidence and find it by belittling people and tearing others down. Prime example is the school bully.. Once someone stands up to him he typically backed down or got the crap knocked out of him because he was all show and nothing more.. Basically a shell of a man.. How do I know, I did it to a few.. Even better when you do it in front of his friends.. 

And if women really hated the abusive part, they would cease dating such assholes.. It's much easier to train the passive to be more aggressive when need be, then train the aggressive to be more passive.. Don't believe, read the "I want a wolf for a pet", thread..

Keith aka Wolfie wrote:
Don't believe, read the "I want a wolf for a pet", thread..

That's about the best metaphor I've heard for women dating a$$holes yet.

Side Effects Studio wrote:
"The bigger the talk, the smaller the co..." well, you get the point.

Generally sayings like these come from jeleous or insecure people... 
They say things like this in a feeble attempt to be witty and clever...

I walk the walk and if you'd like I'll shot you my cock!

Many people consider me an asshole because I am blunt.  I am NOT politically correct and if you don't want my honest opinion, don't ask.

Either way, I am not on this earth for a popularity contest.

Some nice guys finish last, some assholes finish last.  I don't think it has anything to do with finishing last.  I believe it's drive more than anything or lack of it that makes one finish last.

Keith aka Wolfie wrote:
And some of the reason these guys act this way is because they actually lack self esteem and confidence and find it by belittling people and tearing others down. Prime example is the school bully..

Dude, that's not an asshole, that's just a Dick!

To be a true asshole one must be able to walk the walk and talk the talk.

If one just acts like an asshole they are nothing more than a fake.

In modern times Asshole and Bitch have become synonymous with Strong Powerful People that don't take shit from anyone.  Personally I'd rather date a Bitch than a nice girl.  Bitches stand up for what they believe in.  They are take charge kinds of women.  Such passion in what they believe, I just love them.  And that's probably what women love about Assholes.

Kevlar Gal wrote:

William Coleman wrote:
I think it was Clark Gable who said that, when women think of Jimmy Stewart, they think, great husband, would be good with the kids.  But when they think of him, Gable, Hollywood's prototypical bad boy, they think of dirty sex.

True!  But the catch is, Clark died alone, Jimmy was surrounded by grandkids, wife, and children.....

Better to die alone with a well used bone than to die limp and a wimp...

I couldn't resist!

Jay Bowman wrote:
I know plenty of assholes so insecure, so obsessed with trying to be seen as some "bad boy/rebel"... basically acting that way because they think it's what women want.  Perhaps they are right, but these guys don't do it because it's actually their personality.  It's just a projected image for acceptance.  Meaning they are overly concerned with what others think.

Jay to be an asshole it's a personality trait, it can't be learned or faked.  If you "Act" like an asshole it doesn't mean you are.  Those who fake the 'asshole' personality are LOSERS!  A true asshole is NOT insecure and doesn't care what people think.  Don't get the two confused.

If you "act" like an asshole because you believe it will get you more chicks, it won't work!  Women can smell a fake asshole out in a crowd on any given day and just look upon them as losers who are attempting to act like bad boys just to get laid.  Acting like an asshole and being an asshole are 2 entirely different animals.

Nice Guys and Nice Girls go to Heaven...
Assholes and Bitches go wherever they fucking want to!

Hamza wrote:
Better to die alone with a well used bone than to die limp and a wimp...

I couldn't resist!

I have my new slogan.  I will use it every chance I get.

"Sir, will that be regular or premium?"
"Better to die alone with a well used bone than to die limp and a wimp..."

"Let me see your license.  Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
"Better to die alone with a well used bone than to die limp and a wimp..."

"Honey, the first time you saw me, what went through your mind?"
"Better to die alone with a well used bone than to die limp and a wimp..."

Hamza wrote:
A true asshole is NOT insecure and doesn't care what people think.  Don't get the two confused.

The same could be said of a nice guy.  My point is that there's some baseless assumption that nice guys are in any way preoccupied with what everyone else thinks of them.  The thoughts or acceptance of others is no more likely to bring the "nice" out of a true nice guy than the same thing would bring the "ass" out of a true asshole.   

And everyone, ass or nice, has their insecurities.  If a true asshole has a complete lack of insecurity then there are a lot of fakes running around here.  I'll say it again, there are plenty of assholes who behave the way they do for the acceptance of others.  People have a tendency to be that way in their actions period.  Assholes care what others think just as much as the average person. 

If you don't think it's true, then go find some "true" asshole and tell him that he's a pussy.  See if he doesn't suddenly care what you (a complete stanger) think...

D. Brian Nelson wrote:
...finish last?

"He's such a teddy bear."

Question to the panel:  Is it a good thing to be a nice guy?  Uh, as far as photography goes or something...

-D

Nice guys do finish last when it comes to dating, but this nice guy gets lots of models to work with and has never been called a "teddy bear" I have been called a Mouse and Squirrel oh and "just so darn cute"

Melvin Moten Jr wrote:

That's about the best metaphor I've heard for women dating a$$holes yet.

Hey, I have been the co-owner of a part wolf. She was very nice. Kind of submissive though....and that peeing on herself to show submission was a bit offputting at first....
Wolves are nice, but they have DEFINITE boundaries.
As someone once said about me: I am tame, but not domesticated...or maybe it is the other way around. I don't remember.

Keith aka Wolfie wrote:
And some of the reason these guys act this way is because they actually lack self esteem and confidence and find it by belittling people and tearing others down. Prime example is the school bully.. Once someone stands up to him he typically backed down or got the crap knocked out of him because he was all show and nothing more.. Basically a shell of a man.. How do I know, I did it to a few.. Even better when you do it in front of his friends..

Yes the fake bully ultimately gets knocked out and the dude who kicks his a$$ becomes the new 'king of *that* tribe', until somebody else comes and shows him his place.  The man who kicks the shallow bully's a$$ is usually not the prototypical nice guy wuss, he's usually a dominant guy, an alpha male. The shallow bully is like a little Pekingese that barks at everyone, but in reality is sh$t scared. The alpha male is more like a Great Dane.

I repeat, if you're a nice guy but also dominant, confident and take no sh%t, women will love you much more than the regular jerk. 

Keith aka Wolfie wrote:
.
It's much easier to train the passive to be more aggressive when need be, then train the aggressive to be more passive.. Don't believe, read the "I want a wolf for a pet", thread..

Which one do you think will make better news ???
1. Man tames Wolf .... Has him for a pet !
2. Lovely little Lhasa-apsa turns aggressive .... Kills wolf !

Christopher Wright  wrote:
Nice guy reporting for duty.

self identified nice guys are often the horniest ones....

lapis wrote:

self identified nice guys are often the horniest ones....

Just because I am a nice guy doesn't mean I can't be horny. And being horny doesn't make me a bad guy. Just a horny one.

lapis wrote:

self identified nice guys are often the horniest ones....

True.  We may be nice, but that doesn't mean we're safe.  God, men are such pigs!  A girl can't trust any of us!

Hamza wrote:
Generally sayings like these come from jeleous or insecure people... 
They say things like this in a feeble attempt to be witty and clever...

I walk the walk and if you'd like I'll shot you my cock!

Many people consider me an asshole because I am blunt.  I am NOT politically correct and if you don't want my honest opinion, don't ask.

Either way, I am not on this earth for a popularity contest.

Some nice guys finish last, some assholes finish last.  I don't think it has anything to do with finishing last.  I believe it's drive more than anything or lack of it that makes one finish last.

Had you quoted me in entirety, you would see that you've eloquently made my point for me. Thank you.

My post (on January 24) was in response to the posted question, "Is it a good thing to be a nice guy?"

Here is the post that you selectively responded to:

Side Effects Studio wrote:
I prefer to be the nice guy - especially when I'm in the presence of a bastard. It just makes me seem that much nicer by contrast.

Generally, a little kindness and compassion go a long way. You don't have to suffer fools and be a doormat to be nice, just don't be too impressed with yourself, and be prepared to admit when you don't know something.

"The bigger the talk, the smaller the co..." well, you get the point.

Never underestimate the importance of context.

lapis wrote:

self identified nice guys are often the horniest ones....

There's something wrong with being horny?  Men are genetically constructed to be horny.  You should worry about the ones who aren't horny.

D. Brian Nelson wrote:
...finish last?

"He's such a teddy bear."

Question to the panel:  Is it a good thing to be a nice guy?  Uh, as far as photography goes or something...

On the set, I feel that it is. I honestly think I can get more out of a model with nice behavior than with mean behavior.

Offset, I'm not so sure. It really does seem like being a jerk, an EB, a diva, call it what you will, gets you what you want a hell of a lot of the time, and carries far fewer negative consequences than it ought to. I'm constantly hearing stories about how some photographer got a model to pose more revealingly than she meant to, or how he actually got her to *sleep* with him, or something, and I know for a fact that the photographer in question is a grade-A jerk. I can only assume that my theory that no matter what they *say* they want in Cosmo polls, what many women actually want is men who will be cruel to them. I won't pretend to understand it.

M

00siris wrote:
forget being nice - people take advantage
Just treat people with respect.

New York ... New York ....

DawnElizabeth Moderator wrote:
Bad Boys rule.

So you must be one of those women who complain that all men are a...holes.

I like screwed up women myself.

Gregory Garecki wrote:
So you must be one of those women who complain that all men are a...holes.

I like screwed up women myself.

Screwed up women rule...

Jay Bowman wrote:

The same could be said of a nice guy.  My point is that there's some baseless assumption that nice guys are in any way preoccupied with what everyone else thinks of them.  The thoughts or acceptance of others is no more likely to bring the "nice" out of a true nice guy than the same thing would bring the "ass" out of a true asshole.   

And everyone, ass or nice, has their insecurities.  If a true asshole has a complete lack of insecurity then there are a lot of fakes running around here.  I'll say it again, there are plenty of assholes who behave the way they do for the acceptance of others.  People have a tendency to be that way in their actions period.  Assholes care what others think just as much as the average person. 

If you don't think it's true, then go find some "true" asshole and tell him that he's a pussy.  See if he doesn't suddenly care what you (a complete stanger) think...

Jay, I agree with you.  It's quite simple!  What people need to understand is that most people are some where inbetween.   No one can really be 100% asshole or bitch ALL the time!   In "online" tests to determine my "asshole" quota ... I was found to be 75% nice guy, and 25% asshole.  LOL  So based on that theory then most of the time ... about 75% ... I'm a nice guy, but that's because I give people enough rope to hang themselves.  When someone does something really stupid ... it can bring out that 25% asshole.   LOL 

So really what I'm saying is that we should treat each other the way we would like to be treated.  Also remember that just because someone is an asshole ... it's only for an amount of time.  Maybe they were having a bad day?  But people do change!  The fact ... is we change constantly.  I'm different today than I was 5, 10 and 20 years ago.   We all are!  So let the assholes be.   

Jay Bowman wrote:

Screwed up women rule...

Oooops. Did I say screwed up? I meant complex, sophisticated, interesting.

Patrick Walberg wrote:
No one can really be 100% asshole or bitch ALL the time!

I will probably beat seventy three people to it by saying - you haven't met my ex!