Corey Wellman wrote:
Kick her ass to the curb! Who is she to judge you or what you do? She's a g.f., not a wife. Tell her to get over it or get out. But say it respectfully of course

Thats why I kicked Corey to the curb he made me pick between models and him so... hello... bye Corey heheehehe (Rumor 2030393030 of MM Urban Legends this was an untrue statment do not quote me)

Eric Harrell wrote:
Please someone give me some insight on this issuse. If it has already been discussed then point me in the direction of the origional thread but here goes.

Almost three mos. ago I met my now giirlfriend. She knew I photographed models as my sideline job. She felt/thought she could handle the whole process of me being a model photographer but with her insecurities and seemingly lack of self esteem getting the best of her, it is putting a terrible strain on our still young relationship. I feel it is getting to the point where a choice is going to have to be made. On my part do I want to continue photographing models or have her as a girlfriend or on her part can she accept what I do or is this relationship doomed.

How do photographers that work with models handle wives/girlfriends and models with boyfriends handle modeling while keeping peace in the relationship?????

HELP !!!!!!!

Thanks,
Eric

I just started a relationship 6 months ago.  I told her from the beginning that I am a glamour and fine art photographer who oft times shoot implied or nude models.  I explained that it is just business, clinical even.  It's my job.

She said she was cool with it, but a few months into the relationship, she started to my some sly remarks, gently voiceing her disapproval.

I nipped that in the bud very quickly.  I told her that her remarks where showing her jelousy, and jelousy is nothing but DISTRUST.  I asked her if she could not trust me, why would she be with me?  It wouldn't matter what I did for a living, drive taxi cabs,  be a lawyer, photograph women, it's not the profession that is not trusted, it's me.

She got the message.  She no longer sweats me about my job, and I don't show her my work, (out of sight, out of mind).  Things are going great.

Trust me, you don't want to be in a relationship where your girlfriend doesn't trust you.  It will be miserable.  Quitting photography will not change her.  She will still be a jelous woman until you deal with her jelousy.

Eric Harrell wrote:
Please someone give me some insight on this issuse. If it has already been discussed then point me in the direction of the origional thread but here goes.

Almost three mos. ago I met my now giirlfriend. She knew I photographed models as my sideline job. She felt/thought she could handle the whole process of me being a model photographer but with her insecurities and seemingly lack of self esteem getting the best of her, it is putting a terrible strain on our still young relationship. I feel it is getting to the point where a choice is going to have to be made. On my part do I want to continue photographing models or have her as a girlfriend or on her part can she accept what I do or is this relationship doomed.

How do photographers that work with models handle wives/girlfriends and models with boyfriends handle modeling while keeping peace in the relationship?????

HELP !!!!!!!

Thanks,
Eric

The solution is soo simple...photograph male models instead heee heee

Eric Harrell wrote:
will do my best to respond back on these as much as I can later as I am sneaking around here at work to do this.....

I did mention to her about taking her to one of my shoots so she could see first hand what goes on....her reply was that she didn't think she could bring herself to do it as her insecurities would be so overwhelming, insecurities about her own looks and she comparing herself to the model.

as I said will try to further in depth with my responses later when I get home.

She has ISSUES you cannot help her with... you're the one who is in her bed not them so whats her complaint? She needs to get out of that... and being on the flip side of the coin yes men feel insecure too I've had men say "Why are you talking to him you must want him..." or "You have a lot of male model friends why would you want me..." Needless to say they were dumped no one has time for that melodrama lifes short...

Live... laugh... love...

Nothing lasts forever... but if it is meant to be it will and all hangups, insecurities, and issues will be put to the back burner... someone will always be better looking then you, smarter, and wealthier... it's how you treat someone that matters and you being there...

We've gotten to be a disposable society thats why people are always nervous...

I make sure before I get into a serious relationship I know their ups and downs and them mine... so no one wastes their time on a go nowhere relationship, and no one gets hurt...  You love a person for who they are, what they are, and what they do and if not you're self-serving and need to be alone, and if she can't accept you she needs to be alone and solve her issues... there will not be anything you or any man can do for her if shes that worried...

If all else fails do a naked dance for her and sing Thsirt and my panties on

Eric Harrell wrote:
will do my best to respond back on these as much as I can later as I am sneaking around here at work to do this.....

I did mention to her about taking her to one of my shoots so she could see first hand what goes on....her reply was that she didn't think she could bring herself to do it as her insecurities would be so overwhelming, insecurities about her own looks and she comparing herself to the model.

as I said will try to further in depth with my responses later when I get home.

insecurities are BOOOORING... so maybe she is too.

Cuckoo Bird wrote:
Easy: I only date men.  ;-)

Smart man!

Lady_Death wrote:

Smart man!

haha men are more jealous than woman, although I doubt any of them would admit it.

DHayes Photography wrote:
Get her involved with your work.  I know several photographers, myself included, who have wives or girlfriends as assistants or studio managers.  I started doing this years ago when I used to do outdoor shoots out in the boonies.  It not only put the girlfriend at ease, but the models seem to appreciate having another woman around.  Over the years, my girlfriend has become friends with several of the models or even found models for me.

Doug

I agree with this. My husband does photography and I model but when I can, I assist him. We are both just as interested in photography so it works. If she's involved she's less likely to have a problem with it.

Corey Wellman wrote:

haha men are more jealous than woman, although I doubt any of them would admit it.

I don't know my photogs has had the same man for six years and he's seen more arse from mine to every guys hes worked with then Tom Jones has had panties thrown at him and no jealousy there, and none of my other gay friends either... I have had jealous men but a good beating and they behave lol hehehehee.

Brendan Fenn wrote:
Read between the lines dude.

The type of photos you do are not appealing to women. It's a string bikini away from soft-porn.
You're girlfriend does not like you worshiping bimbo types with rediculous fake tits and bleached blonde hair.

It means she does not like your photography. She just doesn't want to tell you that.

...and there it is. My wife has blabbered under her breath about models i talk to and plan to shoot and so on... but she loves my work... a year or so later she doesn't open her mouth much with pointless complaining... my work is my work...and she enjoys it.

Eric Harrell wrote:
How do photographers that work with models handle wives/girlfriends and models with boyfriends handle modeling while keeping peace in the relationship?????

HELP !!!!!!!

Thanks,
Eric

I am too old for these kind of headaches. How about you?

ward wrote:
I got rid of the girlfriend. and became happily single again.

That was my solution, too.  But now I'm seeing someone who is emotionally secure.  No more problems. 

Brendan Fenn wrote:
Read between the lines dude.

The type of photos you do are not appealing to women. It's a string bikini away from soft-porn.
You're girlfriend does not like you worshiping bimbo types with rediculous fake tits and bleached blonde hair.

It means she does not like your photography. She just doesn't want to tell you that.

Them girls you are calling bimbos are usually pay site girls who actually do pay photogs and are happily married or have a boyfriend or girlfriend haha... the one in his port has a pay site and is happily married... everyone wants to make a buck, and some make damn good money owning a pay site but most break even unless they go hard core... heck look at Crissy Moran she quit the business and has now found god.. so anyone can change... and it's just hair and implants it's not who and what they are... most them are very faithful to their spouses or bf's or gf's...

FKVPhotoGraphics wrote:
No matter what advice you get or how many times you explain yourself the bottom line is ....it's her problem!

Let her deal with it. If she can't then your relationship just wasn't meant to be.

The one constant I've had in my life is that I would not change my personality for anyone. One of the most important aspects was my love of photography. I had similar problems when younger with women I dated but I never gave up my photography.

I know people who do give up important things in their lives for the sake of "relationships". They are some of the most miserable and saddest people I know. There is one constant question in their lives .....what if? They never find the answer.

Sucks living that way.

These are very true words.  I don't ask my wife to give up any of the things that make her happy, and she doesn't ask me to give up my pursuits.  If the relationship is going to work, it  has to be full acceptance of who you are, not change this or else!

Lady_Death wrote:

Them girls you are calling bimbos are usually pay site girls who actually do pay photogs and are happily married or have a boyfriend or girlfriend haha... the one in his port has a pay site and is happily married... everyone wants to make a buck, and some make damn good money owning a pay site but most break even unless they go hard core... heck look at Crissy Moran she quit the business and has now found god.. so anyone can change... and it's just hair and implants it's not who and what they are... most them are very faithful to their spouses or bf's or gf's...

Or they kiss up to the photog to get free pics for their paysites been there done that... you have to constantly have new material up competition is fierce... glad I am done with that crap and moved on feel better and get paid 10 times more and not have anyone bother or harass me lol... and can work with quality photogs... its sad a lot of them girls do use photogs for their paysites... but thats life eh?

Allen Coefield wrote:

You are very lucky...I have only met one model in many years who had a husband or boyfriend who said "your the model...do your thing....I trust you."

Still working my way through this thread, but I had to chime in:

My husband is completely supportive of me and has never shown the slightest sign of jealousy or concern.  (He knows I would never accept a shoot unless I felt completely comfortable, so why should he worry if I don't?)

He sometimes will drive me to a shoot, go do his thing, and come pick me up; sometimes he has nothing else to do so he stays and either helps out/reads/goes online/does work on his laptop and chats with the photographer while I'm getting ready/changing; sometimes he's just too busy to even drive me, so he goes his way and I go mine.

Actually, he's pretty interested in photography himself, so he sometimes will watch the shoot (if he can do so without getting in the way -- from the next room, or something like that...)  and see what he can learn! 

: )

Primal Lens wrote:
The last thing any artist needs as their own personal Yoko. There is a curb with her name one if if she has problems with what you do.

Actually, Yoko was a quite amazing artist herself and ahead of her time.

collaboration can be great if you find the right person.  but if the boyfriend wants to control the work, get rid of him/her.

Brendan Fenn wrote:
Read between the lines dude.

The type of photos you do are not appealing to women. It's a string bikini away from soft-porn.
You're girlfriend does not like you worshiping bimbo types with rediculous fake tits and bleached blonde hair.

It means she does not like your photography. She just doesn't want to tell you that.

AGREED!  After taking a look at your portfolio....

I'd be surprised if you could get a girlfriend who'd be alright with that.

I've never been a jealous girl.  EVER.  This problem is probably having to do more with the fact that you're shooting women as objects rather than people.  Beauty is one thing, but tell me... is the viewer looking at their faces?

Probably not.

heatherlynneorr wrote:
HAHAHA!  Wow.  This is exactly my predicament right now too.

I've just turned 18 in November, and am willing to do partial nude, yet my boyfriend isn't comfortable with it, even if it's just for a portfolio.  He doesn't want me going to photo shoots alone, he doesn't want me wearing anything too revealing... etc.  It's horrible.  My artistic creativity is stifled because of his self-esteem issues (and he has a much more public and artistic job than I do...).

I'd say you need to explain that it's time you make a decision to her.  It's an ultimatum, really.  It's either she accept your work, or she takes her leave.  You shouldn't have to make the decision because it's either your passion, or your love.  It's her problem, so let her decide.

I know it's probably not going to help much, but it's helped me.

- Heather

Heather I'd do a fine art nude shoot with you and not allow your lame b.f. and his insecurities to be there just to piss him off *^*

NYPHOTOGRAPHICS wrote:
Typically date models, when they get too insecure its time for an upgrade to a newer model 

Stephen Eastwood
http://www.PhotographersPortfolio.com

DAMN, I should have thought of that before I got married. Almost 17 years of marriage now, and when I started working with Makes and Models magazine, there was a bit of consternation, but she understood.

She is invited to ALL shoots. She has never attended, but the door's open, and she has the security that she can be there. I use OBGYN analogy with her - i'm working and it's CLINICAL.

Good luck with your situation.