Tim Hammond wrote:
Four dilemmas arose tonight.  What do you do when:

1) a hot bartender looks at your buisiness amex card and said "I've always wanted to do a photographer," but you're married?

"Hi, My name is Tim, I'm a photographer."  Let the pieces fall where they may and don't break any of your own rules.

Tim Hammond wrote:
2) someone contacts you looking for work as an assistant and their resume blows your own out of the water, and then some?

Have them come in, interview them, ask in depth questions about how they got their jobs and what they are looking to assist you for.

Tim Hammond wrote:
3) you've tried all the cures you ever heard of and your hiccups won't go away?

I watch TV or read a book.

Tim Hammond wrote:
4) you hate shooting weddings but can't stay profitable without them?

Damn the man... save the empire.

Tim Hammond wrote:
5) your posts on MM disappear?

Back button... they're usually still in my cache.

Tim Hammond wrote:
Four dilemmas arose tonight.  What do you do when:

1) a hot bartender looks at your buisiness amex card and said "I've always wanted to do a photographer," but you're married?

Ask her to pour you another drink and make it a double! LOL

2) someone contacts you looking for work as an assistant and their resume blows your own out of the water, and then some?

Hire them. There's a good chance they don't think they're half as good as you think they are and perhaps the two of you could teach each other some things.

3) you've tried all the cures you ever heard of and your hiccups won't go away?

I saw this on an episode of life in the ER...can't remember what they did for the girl though. Sorry 'bout that. Did you try swallowing a teaspoon of sugar ? Gulping water while upside down?

4) you hate shooting weddings but can't stay profitable without them?
Continue to shoot the weddings...for obvious reasons.

5) your posts on MM disappear?
My photos are all little x's. I know what you mean.

digital Artform wrote:
I have an infallible hiccup cure, but it can't be done over the internet

Are you a bartender?

Tim Hammond wrote:
1) a hot bartender looks at your buisiness amex card and said "I've always wanted to do a photographer," but you're married?

Smile, blush and flirt - but don't sleep with her.  Unless you enjoy crabs.

Tim Hammond wrote:
2) someone contacts you looking for work as an assistant and their resume blows your own out of the water, and then some?

Be honest.  Why waste the applicant's time if you can't teach him/her anything?

Tim Hammond wrote:
3) you've tried all the cures you ever heard of and your hiccups won't go away?

If you find a valid, solid answer for that one, you can write your own check.

Tim Hammond wrote:
4) you hate shooting weddings but can't stay profitable without them?

Suck it up and deal with it.  Some of us don't get wedding jobs to pad our profit margin. 

Tim Hammond wrote:
5) your posts on MM disappear?

Start a complaint thread like everyone else. 

digital Artform wrote:
No. Here it is. It never fails, but it has to be done in person:

You take a bill out of your pocket and hold it in front of the person and say:

I will give you this bill, but you have to say "Now!" immediately before your next hiccup. There can be no delay. It has to be Now!(hiccup!)

What happens is they get all tense and concentrate on when the next one is about to come so they can say "Now!" and while they wait and focus they lose the urge to hiccup.

I've never seen it fail, but you cannot do it to yourself in the same way you cannot tickle yourself

Great! Now all I have to do is find someone in a hotel full of strangers who wants to give me money.  Maybe the bartender?

Wynd Mulysa wrote:

1) a hot bartender looks at your buisiness amex card and said "I've always wanted to do a photographer," but you're married? Feel flattered, but know she's probably joking.

2) someone contacts you looking for work as an assistant and their resume blows own out of the water, and then some? Hire the person.  Unless you don't wany to.

3) you've tried all the cures you ever heard of and your hiccups won't go away? start timing it so you can try out for Guiness.

4) you hate shooting weddings but can't stay profitable without them? Probably suicide.

5) your posts on MM disappear? Definitely suicide.

Hope my advice helps.

You're just mean!

Stephen Melvin wrote:
I count five...

6 is that he forgot how to count

e-string wrote:

6 is that he forgot how to count

5 was actually added on the second try after this post disappeared, but I had to stick with the original title just to see who'd notice.