Photographer
emkay media design
Posts: 81
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US
STEVES PHOTOS wrote:
Oliver, I agree and my wife told me she dosen't want me to stop what I'm doing because she knows I have a passion for it. She uderstands that I just wouldn't be me without it. GOD, I wish there wre an easy answer. oh there is an easy answer.
You just seem to continue to ignore it.
You are obviously not content with the issue and you seem to be very compassionate where her feelings are concerned.
Anything I say about what to do here is going to come off really cold. So I ain't gonna.
Paul said it three times already and I've ran across him more than once discussing this same topic in the forums. Listen to him. Or don't, and be sure to contact me when you sell your equipment. Do this too, forward your phonebook so I can get ahold of the models you've been shooting so I can handle them now.
Photographer
emkay media design
Posts: 81
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US
Amy J Jones Photography wrote:
Always invite her to every shoot as your assistant (even if she doesn't, she knows you want her there) let her read every e-mail (if she wants), let her hear every phone call. Never shoot too much with the same model and make her a part of the whole process. Good Luck! and carry her in a small bag everywhere you go too.
Photographer
Mark Brummitt
Posts: 40527
Clarkston, Michigan, US
My wife and I work together in one of our businesses during the day. She is often on the phone with clients and when I hear her laughing with one something inside of me twinges. It's like I am thinking, "hey, you should be laughing with me." Maybe it is because my wife is so easy to get along with and everyone likes her that I get bothered.
Now, as stupid as that sounds perhaps your wife is in the same boat. Personally I remind myself of how idiotic it is to get upset about my spouse being fun to be around and maybe your wife needs to do the same.
Photographer
ward
Posts: 6142
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I went through this once...I repeat, once. I still have my camera... 
Photographer
emkay media design
Posts: 81
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US
seems to be alot of overbearing, insecure individuals out there.
How can you possibly go through your day to day thinking of what someone else does or is doing and letting it anger and/or consume you? To the point of where you impose your own insecurities on the other person? WTF.
WARD, you rock.
Photographer
ActionShots Photo
Posts: 182
Barboursville, West Virginia, US
I have two ex-wives... both said "you and that damn camera!"
I have a girlfriend now... she says "aren't you bringing your camera?"
That may sound perfect, but the fact is still that she isn't comfortable with my working with models in overly seductive, lingerie, or nude situations... therefore I leave that end of the business to you guys and gals out there that don't have that hangup.
Compromise is everything in everything.
Photographer
Hadyn Lassiter
Posts: 2898
New Haven, Connecticut, US
My wife Karen is my partner and at every shoot with me. She is 48 and I am 49, we love each other and she realizes none of these young women or men for that matter want an old goat like me. Try to have her become a part of what you do in any way you or she can. Have her look at the reality of the thought involving jealousy. I hope it works out for you and her.
Photographer
Robert Sanders
Posts: 905
Los Angeles, California, US
Did I mention? You're doomed.
Photographer
shotbytim
Posts: 1040
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, US
DigitalCMH wrote:
Remind HER how lucky YOU are. Do you need help on your shoots? Hire her. Don't bring her. Don't invite her. HIRE her. Payment? Dinner at a restaurant of her choice. Does she like flowers? send them more often. Does she like to have her feet rubbed? Give her those massages. Whenever you get back from a shoot, the first thing you do is NOT look/download the photos. It's to say hi to her, talk to her, give her a hug and a kiss. Act like you're happy to be home and that's home so that you can hug and kiss her.
In a nutshell, do what you need to do make her not only feel important, but KNOW that she is important to you. Good idea. "Pay" her by doing something with her that has nothing to do with photography. Reward her but don't just give up on something she's expressed a little discomfort over. Quit photography and she'll realize (consciously or not) that you can be manipulated and she'll lose respect for you. Be respectful of her but don't roll over and give up on self-respect either.
Photographer
STEVES PHOTOS
Posts: 15
Holley, New York, US
Hecates_illusion wrote:
Thats what I was going to suggest. Just bring your lady with you. I never go to a shoot with out my boyfriend. This is because I go to a lot of unsave areas and meet with a lot of strangers. He gets bored while I shoot with people but he doesn't complain. Or instead of bringing her to everyone let her know that you don't care which shoots she comes to. Let her chose and come along.
*Edit I just read that last part so forget what I just said. I have no idea how to help. It seems she just wants to be mean and may be jealous not of the girls or you being with them but of your success. I agree with you. She's not mean to me but I do sometimes feel that she's jealous of my success (for the lack of a better word).
It bothers her when a model says she loves working with me or how awesome her images are.
thank you so much for the advice
Photographer
STEVES PHOTOS
Posts: 15
Holley, New York, US
Paulo Rodrigues wrote:
How about shooting more men? It has its advantages, less of a requirement for hair and makeup for a start She'll feel less threatened and might even take an interest in working with you if they are hot. I shoot men as much as I can. I have a male model shoot this weekend. As you know, not as many men are lining up to get photos done. 95% are women, which is not my fault. I'll never turn down a male model. It's money all the same.
Photographer
Donald Byrd
Posts: 163
Freeport, Florida, US
Photography has cost me two marriages! Now I have dogs and cameras, I am a happy man!
Photographer
STEVES PHOTOS
Posts: 15
Holley, New York, US
markcomp wrote:
My wife and I work together in one of our businesses during the day. She is often on the phone with clients and when I hear her laughing with one something inside of me twinges. It's like I am thinking, "hey, you should be laughing with me." Maybe it is because my wife is so easy to get along with and everyone likes her that I get bothered.
Now, as stupid as that sounds perhaps your wife is in the same boat. Personally I remind myself of how idiotic it is to get upset about my spouse being fun to be around and maybe your wife needs to do the same. This is just what I was saying. Everyone on here thinks the laughing means I'm not working. Trust me, My camera is to my face and I'm still cracking jokes. It's not just models.....People just like me. I'm not a jerk (most of the time) and I smile alot......
Yes!!!!!! Maybe she's thinking that it should be her laughing with me, and we do laugh together all the time. I only spend about 10 hours a week shooting. The rest is work and family....Is that too much time?
Photographer
ward
Posts: 6142
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
emkay media design wrote:
seems to be alot of overbearing, insecure individuals out there.
How can you possibly go through your day to day thinking of what someone else does or is doing and letting it anger and/or consume you? To the point of where you impose your own insecurities on the other person? WTF.
WARD, you rock. Thanks.
Photographer
ward
Posts: 6142
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
emkay media design wrote:
seems to be alot of overbearing, insecure individuals out there.
How can you possibly go through your day to day thinking of what someone else does or is doing and letting it anger and/or consume you? To the point of where you impose your own insecurities on the other person? WTF.
WARD, you rock. Thanks.
Photographer
Mark Brummitt
Posts: 40527
Clarkston, Michigan, US
STEVES PHOTOS wrote:
This is just what I was saying. Everyone on here thinks the laughing means I'm not working. Trust me, My camera is to my face and I'm still cracking jokes. It's not just models.....People just like me. I'm not a jerk (most of the time) and I smile alot......
Yes!!!!!! Maybe she's thinking that it should be her laughing with me, and we do laugh together all the time. I only spend about 10 hours a week shooting. The rest is work and family....Is that too much time? Only you and her can decide that.
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