Okay... so I'm sitting here right now getting prepped to do a shoot for a friend of mine who wants pictures done before she moves out of town.  I'm talking to her on MSN when I get a request from [email protected]...

Lord Khyron says:
allo?

aks_vsa says:
HI (Using a very cheesy HI emoticon)
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  aks_vsa is inviting you to start a Video Conversation. Do you want to accept (Alt+C) or decline (Alt+D) the invitation?
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  aks_vsa has canceled the invitation to start a Video Conversation.
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  aks_vsa is inviting you to start sending webcam. Do you want to accept (Alt+C) or decline (Alt+D) the invitation?
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Lord Khyron says:
who is this?

aks_vsa says:
igot ur mailin ursite

aks_vsa says:
usuch beautiful

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(*At this point, I'd like to point out that my screen name is LORD Khyron.. not Lady Khyron.  My MSN pic is of a baby with an army helmet on and he's yelling "INCOMING!"...*)
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aks_vsa says:
(rose emoticon)

Lord Khyron says:
what site?

aks_vsa says:
just want to see u

aks_vsa says:
Hi5

Lord Khyron says:
Uhmm... I'm not on Hi5

aks_vsa says:
in fashion one

Lord Khyron says:
Interesting

Lord Khyron says:
Is this something about a job?

aks_vsa says:
no yaar... just friend

aks_vsa says:
u a model right ?

Lord Khyron says:
I'm assuming you saw the picture on model mayhem?

aks_vsa says:
yes..

aks_vsa says:
so i m eager to see u in ur web cam

Lord Khyron says:
So you grabbed my IM info and decided to try to start a webcam conversation?

aks_vsa says:
yes..

Lord Khyron says:
I am the photographer of that image and it's people like you who are a major pain in the ass when it comes to little boys with nothing better to do than masturbate on-line.

aks_vsa says:
(rock and roll emoticon)

Lord Khyron says:
I take it you don't know how to read... have fun and try not to mess up your keyboard or monitor

aks_vsa says:
why so ??

Lord Khyron says:
Nevermind... have fun on the short bus on your way to school

aks_vsa says:
just oncei want to see u.. pls....i mnot a student

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(* When I read "i mnot a student" I start killing myself laughing *)

Lord Khyron says:
I'm a male photographer you smacktard.  And I'd appreciate it greatly, as well as the rest of the members of MM, if you'd quit thinking it's a place to get your jollies off


aks_vsa says:
atleast we cansay good bye to both of you after coverting some good sentence

aks_vsa says:
..... its reallly good photo.. i hope u a great photograper too

aks_vsa says:
u know how to show the every part how immportantly

aks_vsa says:
any way if u not wiling tochat then ofcouse i ll not waste ur useful time... pls... go ahead after discountinue this chat

Lord Khyron says:
done

*blocked*

Wheee.. now if I wasn't going to be leaving.. I'd have sent him random body part pictures and totally humiliated him... but alas.. I have to jet soon. 

-PKD

That almost made me shudder as memories of when I actually used to post my screen name places came flooding back.

This is why everyone on the Internet should have photos of Goatse and Tubgirl to send these twatcakes.  I have a folder of super offensive stuff for that very purpose.

That was painful to read. I just got a mental image of that character from Lord of the Rings.

Might make you understand why I'm the cantankerous, crotchety old bitch I am today getting retards like that randomly IMing me in the past.

Welcome to a woman's world, my friend.

I'm still laughing over "smacktard".  I've called many a person a "f**ktard", but I'll have to add this new one to the list.

I love how tards like this ruin things for legitimate photographers and models.  Talking on IM is sometimes more convenient than phone (i.e. during work while in a cubicle) and more interactive than emailing.

Kevin