Model
The_N_Word
Posts: 5067
New York, New York, US
Now Rafael, show me, on the doll, where he touched you.
Photographer
DarioImpiniPhotography
Posts: 8756
Dallas, Texas, US
The truth is no one will "complete" you. Its worse to be alone with someone else than it is to be alone by yourself.
Photographer
Uvision Media LLC
Posts: 440
Central Square, New York, US
Nerlande wrote:
Now Rafael, show me, on the doll, where he touched you. I truly hope this isn't the limit to your mental ability.
Photographer
Uvision Media LLC
Posts: 440
Central Square, New York, US
DarioImpiniPhotography wrote:
The truth is no one will "complete" you. Its worse to be alone with someone else than it is to be alone by yourself. I think I understand what you're saying but I always hope for more. Maybe I'm a fool for doing so but then again maybe I'm not?
Photographer
DarioImpiniPhotography
Posts: 8756
Dallas, Texas, US
Love, the form we are commonly familiar with, is a state of temporary insanity. It is unsustainable as such. "True love", the form which you see in old couples is typically more a form of simmering tolerance and fear of being alone than a genuine affection and need for each other.
In the long run, people irritate the living shit out of each other. When I shoot a model, especially those that are really hot, and they have their boyfriends there -- almost invariably there is tension between them, a lot of eye-rolling, a lot of snipping. Meanwhile she's playing hot for me. It becomes clear I'm getting the best part of the deal here. She's at her best for me. Yes, he gets to take her home. And thats not necessarily a good thing.
Photographer
TrueBeauty
Posts: 45
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Nerlande wrote:
Now Rafael, show me, on the doll, where he touched you. Oooooooooooooooh, cruel!
Photographer
TrueBeauty
Posts: 45
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
My suggestion? Step away from the camera for a bit, look at what else interests you, seek out others with similar interests, *don't rush into anything*, develop friendships, work towards changing those to relationships...then come back to the camera.
It reads that you are putting yourself into a situation within the photography that becomes a self-fulfilling dissapointment. You may need to take a break.
Photographer
Nick Ryder
Posts: 317
Walnut Creek, California, US
Rafael,
I think you have a lot of courage, and that if truth be known, a large precentage of photographers are on here motivated by a similar agenda.
While I can understand your plight, it still comes off being a little ferverous and wanton, desperate at best, ( and it's not an appropriate avenue to pursue your personal quests.) What a lot of models are bringing to the party is their hopes and dreams, that combined with a photographer seeking a love connection can be disappointing for both the photographer and the model.
I have witnessed the scenario you are explaining take place at sessions, we have a guy in the Bay Area named Arturo, he practically shoots in shorts while he's taking the pics, "Oh yeah baby...(a-h-h-hh-, e-w-w-w, ) ....you're gorgoues, oh thank you, thank you, a-h-h-h-h, u-m-m-e-e-eek!! " It so-o-o-o friggin sick, I swear once I handed him a tissue told him to use it to clean himself up...
Let's face it, we're all sick lil bastards to some degree or other, and that's o-k, where it becomes not o-k is when bumps into a model who is trying to start a career, following her hopes, dreams and plans, models shouldn't be subjected to the unrealistic imagination of some "Mr Slick" photographer via his session, it shouldn't being anything more than a photo session.
Like the song says; "leave the kids alone" .
Photographer
Robert Sanders
Posts: 905
Los Angeles, California, US
Rafael Alvarez wrote:
The biggest problem that I run into is that fact that the more I work with someone the closer we get on a personal level. This is a great thing for the aspect of shooting because you grow out of the tension of working with a stranger but it tends to add to the emotional connection. Now keep in mind that this isn't a problem that comes up during every shoot but once in a while if does happen and it's hard for me to deal with. It's not like I'm ever gonna act on the emotions and try and put the moves on a model but it makes me wish I was just shooting for fun or not at all. This is some pretty deep stuff Raf, don't think you are being honest with yourself entirely. I am going to go out on a limb and take a guess: I would say that this probably has to do with a particular person, someone you enjoy shooting and you've been torn. It happens, it is an investment in emotion each time you shoot and you feel the bond more and more. What does she feel for you? You are afraid to ask...
We live in a visually perfect fantasy where each model has a part of our soul vested in the work they are co-op'ing with you, and you have some of theirs. I guess this is why the ideal Muse is such a wonderful perfect dream, she is always there and will give you her all. You use what she gives, you enjoy, you explore together... ahhhh, but the holy grail cannot be broken or lost, then the magic may be gone. The price we pay for creative spirit and passion for our craft... you become a vampire without fangs.
The good news... it will pass, be patient. Understand this, you will meet someone who will give you what you want and need without the commitment of fulfilling artistic obligation. It isn't wise to bond with models, they have an agenda too, always remember that. I recommend you meet a really nice, good looking, bisexual nurse... you can have all the fun you want, with her at your side, she can fix your booboos, and you can show her your pictures when you both want to do the nasty.
Hang in dude...
Robert
Photographer
Uvision Media LLC
Posts: 440
Central Square, New York, US
Nick Ryder wrote:
Rafael,
I think you have a lot of courage, and that if truth be known, a large precentage of photographers are on here motivated by a similar agenda.
While I can understand your plight, it still comes off being a little ferverous and wanton, desperate at best, ( and it's not an appropriate avenue to pursue your personal quests.) What a lot of models are bringing to the party is their hopes and dreams, that combined with a photographer seeking a love connection can be disappointing for both the photographer and the model.
I have witnessed the scenario you are explaining take place at sessions, we have a guy in the Bay Area named Arturo, he practically shoots in shorts while he's taking the pics, "Oh yeah baby...(a-h-h-hh-, e-w-w-w, ) ....you're gorgoues, oh thank you, thank you, a-h-h-h-h, u-m-m-e-e-eek!! " It so-o-o-o friggin sick, I swear once I handed him a tissue told him to use it to clean himself up...
Let's face it, we're all sick lil bastards to some degree or other, and that's o-k, where it becomes not o-k is when bumps into a model who is trying to start a career, following her hopes, dreams and plans, models shouldn't be subjected to the unrealistic imagination of some "Mr Slick" photographer via his session, it shouldn't being anything more than a photo session.
Like the song says; "leave the kids alone" . Wait a min now. I think you completely misunderstood what I'm saying. I shoot for the love of my work not for the models. I avoid lots and lots of model shoots because I quite simply would rather shoot for that one perfect shot with a close friend or family member. The idea be hind "Lonely Seduction" is that someone can be so damn lonely that he or she gets caught up in the slightest moment of passion, friendship, or seduction and as a result is always painfully reminded over and over again that he or she is alone. What I'm saying is that at times a photo shoot with a model can cause that type of heart breaking feeling with in a photographer that is very lonely. I'm sure it goes the other way around at time but I'm not a model so I'm not gonna speak on their behalf. When I said put down the camera and go after my dream I meant to find that right person for me and then come back to photography. I didn't mean put down the camera during a shoot and go after the model Iâm working with. I thought I clearly stated that I would never do that but I guess I have to expect some people to misunderstand what I'm saying.
Iâm an artist and writing is another form of my art and if you put my style of photography together with the things that I choose to write youâll see and maybe understand my work a little better. By no means am I saying that I shoot with models as a means of finding a woman. And no I would never put the moves on anyone that I work with regardless of the job. Itâs unprofessional and disrespectful. Not to mention Iâm sickened by the photographers that use this art form as a means to try and get a girl.
Photographer
Dark Star Photography
Posts: 254
Portland, Maine, US
Nerlande wrote:
Now Rafael, show me, on the doll, where he touched you. And Rafael, now that you're comfortable showing us on the doll, show us on Nerlande where he touched you...
Photographer
Len Cook Photographer
Posts: 599
Fremont, California, US
Dark Star Photography wrote:
And Rafael, now that you're comfortable showing us on the doll, show us on Nerlande where he touched you... THAT'S IT! YOU'RE FREAKIN' EVIL. I'm stalking YOU from now on. Will you bring Nerlande? I worship her. Just ask her. I've been stalking her for weeks.
Model
The_N_Word
Posts: 5067
New York, New York, US
Nerlande wrote:
Now Rafael, show me, on the doll, where he touched you. Dark Star Photography wrote:
And Rafael, now that you're comfortable showing us on the doll, show us on Nerlande where he touched you... love it!
Photographer
Uvision Media LLC
Posts: 440
Central Square, New York, US
Robert Sanders wrote:
This is some pretty deep stuff Raf, don't think you are being honest with yourself entirely. I am going to go out on a limb and take a guess: I would say that this probably has to do with a particular person, someone you enjoy shooting and you've been torn. It happens, it is an investment in emotion each time you shoot and you feel the bond more and more. What does she feel for you? You are afraid to ask...
We live in a visually perfect fantasy where each model has a part of our soul vested in the work they are co-op'ing with you, and you have some of theirs. I guess this is why the ideal Muse is such a wonderful perfect dream, she is always there and will give you her all. You use what she gives, you enjoy, you explore together... ahhhh, but the holy grail cannot be broken or lost, then the magic may be gone. The price we pay for creative spirit and passion for our craft... you become a vampire without fangs.
The good news... it will pass, be patient. Understand this, you will meet someone who will give you what you want and need without the commitment of fulfilling artistic obligation. It isn't wise to bond with models, they have an agenda too, always remember that. I recommend you meet a really nice, good looking, bisexual nurse... you can have all the fun you want, with her at your side, she can fix your booboos, and you can show her your pictures when you both want to do the nasty.
Hang in dude...
Robert Yeah that's pretty much the point. I'm glad someone understood what I'm talking about. Thanks for responding Robert.
At this point in time it is one person but it's happened before and each time I've had to back away from shooting with them. It's not that they put the moves on me or that I put the moves on them it's that you feel something greater than a good working relationship and it's sucks. In an ideal world we can walk around like emotionless zombies but this isn't an idea world. Sometimes it's just hard to deal with and to be honest the only reason I posted this here was to see how people respond to something a little deeper than the normal crap that is talked about on this forum. I know I'm not the first person to feel this way so I hope people read this with an open mind. It's a feeling of being trapped between your emotions and your obligations as not only a trusted photographer but as a person with a once of respect for women.
Model
Ryan6663
Posts: 900
New York, New York, US
You do know that you can meet girls at a bar right?
Model
The_N_Word
Posts: 5067
New York, New York, US
Nerlande wrote:
Now Rafael, show me, on the doll, where he touched you. Rafael Alvarez wrote:
I truly hope this isn't the limit to your mental ability. Only few have such immeasurable wit.
Photographer
Dark Star Photography
Posts: 254
Portland, Maine, US
Len Cook Photographer wrote:
THAT'S IT! YOU'RE FREAKIN' EVIL. I'm stalking YOU from now on. Will you bring Nerlande? I worship her. Just ask her. I've been stalking her for weeks. Cool. So now we have a mutually-stalking virtual relationship. How new millenium! Can Lexi and Lapis come too?? 
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