NikkiC wrote:
Not sure what I think of this whole "Model Mayhem" anymore....

First, I thought it was cool - thought it was neat how you were actually able to leave personal comments on other people's work, and interact with people so much on a friendlier, more personable level and retrieve feedback.

Now I'm starting to think it's becoming a popularity contest like OMP. If you know people and you shoot w/ the people who know people - then you deserve a comment, or possibly a "view". I understand that this business IS a LOT about who you know,etc..etc... However, I joined this site to meet people to network with, people to shoot with. Good, honest, hard working, phenominal creative unique people.

I'm not going to sit here and say that I think I can be the next Victoria's Secret model, or want to be the next Playboy Playmate.....however, I started modeling because (sounds like SO many other stories) I had always thought about it & had even been asked if I had and why I don't and told that I should. However, I was convinced that height was going to be an issue, but then found out - holy crap! Models my size are models as well! So why not? Then I started getting into it (thinking money would be coming out of the walls....BAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHA.....go ahead ..........laugh with me) haha And then I realized if you are a model my height and w/ decent looks - most likely you're going to be wanted for "maxim" style shoots - not as much fashion - unless you find the right connections and meet the right people. Anyways - so I started doing shoots - and realized - WOW - I really love this. I'm a very creative, artistic person...so I'm all about artistic creative shots - crazy hair, crazy make up - but I can never meet photographers that have the funds to provide that idea - or that want to go half on it with me (yes....I'm odd - I compromise)

I've honestly thought about throwing in the towel - thinking "what am I doing?? I'm 5'5" and don't have ginormous (gigantic/enormous - lol) breasts,  and don't do nude, or implied nude shots.........so where am I really going with this?? Would I like to go far with modeling?? Sure, but by what I've seen...unless I do import car modeling, or maxim,etc....which I would love to do...but I really don't see as much growth in....then sure! I'm a dreamer, sure, but I also think logistically and realistically. I honestly get excited about putting together events....

A photoshoot I had for a company I still plan on starting - I LOVED setting it all up. The wardrobe, the backdrops, etc..etc....I have a VERY creative mind - and seeing it unfold before my eyes is unreal and magical. So who knows? Maybe modeling isn't for me? But what sucks now - is I think I'm addicted - I love it and the ideas that I bring to the shoot and the energy. And the images that come from it - keep me coming back.

So, I guess the whole point of this rambling "thread" - is to say - I know I'm not 5'11" and 115 lbs with perfect skin, hair, teeth and measurements closer to making my way on the runway for some well known fashion designer - and that this most likely won't be my carreer throughout my lifetime - however I really enjoy it, don't know what to expect, and maybe the suspense of not knowing -keeps me coming back. It's like buying a lottery ticket - you never know when you may strike big. As far as MM goes, it just seemed alot friendlier at first - however, I really am not here to make "friends" per se, but kindness, thoughtfulness, and feedback really doesn't have to do with friends. If I make friends in the process? it's a bonus - but I'm not here for popularity - I'm here to find new talents, and hopefully work with them - and learn something and give something. I'm not here to see how many comments I can get - but some would be nice - just to get feedback - so I know what people think - honestly.

It's 5:07 am in the morning - just got home from work about a half an hour ago - and will probably regret writing this in 10 minutes. However? This is me...and I don't lie and I'm not striving for attention by this post - most likely 3 people will read it because they will look at my username and realize they've never heard of me and/or don't know me lol.

It's more like - we don't have blogs on here to share with what you have on your mind - so this was the closest thing.

Anyways - no hard feelings to MM or anyone out there - just the vibe I've been getting as of late And who knows .....maybe I'm just PARANOID. lol

Haha - either way - feels better to talk about something thats been on my mind. Sorry to bore you if you've read this far!!! lol!

G'night - have to be up in 4 hours for my 4 1/2 year old nieces dance recital! I can't wait!

*muah* Nikki

I honestly don't think your experience is any different from anybody else around here. Its tough work in this business and it takes grit and some balls to keep at it, let alone be "successful" by whatever terms you define that. I'm definately not as successful as I want to be, but I'm doing something and that I find to be pretty impressive.

I'd also say you probably want to be careful confusing "friends" and "popularity." You can be popular as all get out and everybody can know your name, but that doesn't matter one bit if its not for the right reasons. I think you have the right reasons in mind already, so its just a matter of being yourself and sticking around.

Sounds like you're doing things right and being persistant. So just enjoy the ride.

And see, I can comment too, because I'm a noname as well

NC17 wrote:

I honestly don't think your experience is any different from anybody else around here. Its tough work in this business and it takes grit and some balls to keep at it, let alone be "successful" by whatever terms you define that. I'm definately not as successful as I want to be, but I'm doing something and that I find to be pretty impressive.

I'd also say you probably want to be careful confusing "friends" and "popularity." You can be popular as all get out and everybody can know your name, but that doesn't matter one bit if its not for the right reasons. I think you have the right reasons in mind already, so its just a matter of being yourself and sticking around.

Sounds like you're doing things right and being persistant. So just enjoy the ride.

And see, I can comment too, because I'm a noname as well

NikkiC wrote:
Anyways - so I started doing shoots - and realized - WOW - I really love this. I'm a very creative, artistic person...so I'm all about artistic creative shots - crazy hair, crazy make up - but I can never meet photographers that have the funds to provide that idea - or that want to go half on it with me (yes....I'm odd - I compromise)

NikkiC wrote:
So, I guess the whole point of this rambling "thread" - is to say - I know I'm not 5'11" and 115 lbs with perfect skin, hair, teeth and measurements closer to making my way on the runway for some well known fashion designer - and that this most likely won't be my carreer throughout my lifetime - however I really enjoy it, don't know what to expect, and maybe the suspense of not knowing -keeps me coming back. It's like buying a lottery ticket - you never know when you may strike big. As far as MM goes, it just seemed alot friendlier at first - however, I really am not here to make "friends" per se, but kindness, thoughtfulness, and feedback really doesn't have to do with friends. If I make friends in the process? it's a bonus - but I'm not here for popularity - I'm here to find new talents, and hopefully work with them - and learn something and give something. I'm not here to see how many comments I can get - but some would be nice - just to get feedback - so I know what people think - honestly.

*muah* Nikki

Nikki:

This is one of the most honest and sincere threads that I've read. So sincere - That I actually read through the entire text (which I don't usually do when it's that long).

I used to have similar feelings but I realized something, the more I looked for those issues, the more it took me away from my shooting. That was the real problem. In essence I was creating my own reality - not good.

As I look through your photos and comments I see that all of them or great comments that would appear to be very encouraging for you. So maybe it's not Mayhem, that's giving you these feelings. Maybe it's these forums.

One of the odd things that I've found about this site is that most comments on most pictures of EVERYONE i've seen are great comments but when you go to forums (where the topics are not pictures) it gets UGLY.

Keep shooting dear, keep shooting. Forget about superficial support (or the lack thereof). Just continue to make your way around the modeling world and you'll find your niche.

By the way, you still owe me a shoot.

NikkiC wrote:
Thanks for the response Ginny Nice portfolio you have as well - you have a fine selection of images - and its actually wonderful to see the human figure displayed in ...hmm..how do i put it? Tasteful ? But leaves it to your OWN imagination what you think of it?

Anywho - yeah, I know that I have a pretty good head on my shoulders - however it's just aggravating sometimes being so honest and good hearted and hardworking...and never seeing anything prosper or transpire from all the hard work, traveling and money spent in the process.....

For example, I really want to cut my hair. Short. Only reason WHY I haven't? Modeling. And it's not even like I'm knee deep into modeling. lol. I guess i have the attitude of "You just NEVER know what can happen."

Thanks for responding - nice to know there are people out there like you

Good luck to you - and one day Ginny - I can see some of those fine art nudes in a nationally procalaimed museum kudos to you as a model, person, and personality

Take care

Nikki

Aww thanks Nikki you're so kind.

The part that is left to the imagination is what makes a good photograph. I took art classes from the time I knew what putting pencil to paper (or any other surface I could find) was. My art teacher brought me up with a concept that an image (No matter what kind) has to hold a conversation. If the image attempts to hold both sides of the conversation, its not going to be desireable to look at because it leaves nothing up to the viewer to "discuss." By the same token, if the image doesn't say enough, then the viewer is forced to hold both sides of the conversation. And that doesn't work either. I feel the best pieces are the ones that make you say *something* - to me thats what art and images are supposed to do. I really strive for that within my work, because its what I enjoy the most.

I kinda hope I could end up on a gallery wall too, that'd be pretty darn crazy! Its not really a goal, but it would be really interesting anyway.

As far as your hair goes, if you really want to cut it, then cut it. It will grow back, and it won't be near as bad as you think. I used to have SHORT spiked hair. It was a 4 guard faded up the back. I LOVED it. It was sexy, cool, and EASY to take care of. When I cut it all off, it had been down to my elbows. I used to get complements more than once a week on it. Everyone loved it. I decided to grow it longer again though because I missed being able to do something with it. Its been almost a year since I had it cut last and its already down below my shoulders. I have my curls back again, and can play with it. I'll let it continue growing for a while, and eventually I am sure I'll chop it all OFF again. I think that someone that can model with short hair has an advantage, anyway, its a bit more rare, and trust me, short hair gets FAR more attention than long hair.  Enjoy yourself, and do what you want to do.

It does get agravating when there are so many people that aren't honest out there. But keep your chin up and keep plugging along. I think its important to be honest and genuine and real. Thats just who I am, and I could no more deny that than not be me. So take heart, there are good people out there in the world

Thomas B wrote:
After reading your post it sounds like your favorite part of this business is the creativity...........the planning that goes into a shoot. Maybe that is what you should do to make the business more enjoyable. Maybe you should start a business putting together photoshoots for clients. you know.....provide the props, wardrobe and styling.......finding cool locations. If I knew of someone around my area who did that sort of stuff I would hire them. I get a lot of ideas in my head but never folow through because it seems like too much work. If I could pay someone to make my ideas a reality, I would hire them in a second. Probably not the kind of response you were looking for but it is a sincere thought.
Thomas

Dave Wright Photo wrote:
It seems like every other photo in your portfolio has a "shout out" to Arcanum - so keep posing for him, he'll get better, you'll get better... suggest some crazy hair and makeup. Do it yourself if you can't afford to hire someone. Maybe the shots will be awful, or maybe they'll be pretty good. Have fun.

If your sole drive was to make money, and you're finding out that that's not going to happen, or you're not willing to invest in a portfolio to get you some serious work, I could understand giving up.

... but I simply don't understand the question.
Of course you shouldn't give up a hobby that you enjoy.

ps:
what are those other girls doing in your portfolio?

Diana Moffitt wrote:
I agree.  I was also one of the outcast geeks in highschool.  LOL ~

And it looks like you got the last laugh.

NikkiC,  MM popularity, like any online forum, is really based on the amount of communication and postings you do (just like advertising exposures).  It is also based on what people remember about you that is different (good or bad).  You have a strong creative mission.  Just be aggressive about chasing down local photogs to work with.  Your practice shots are great in that they at least show that you are creative in your poses. - You just need a pro at the other end of the lens.  Forget about the popularity factor.  It doesn't mean much for getting any real business.  Participate to learn and help others.  That's what online communities are about.

00siris wrote:

Nikki:

This is one of the most honest and sincere threads that I've read. So sincere - That I actually read through the entire text (which I don't usually do when it's that long).

I used to have similar feelings but I realized something, the more I looked for those issues, the more it took me away from my shooting. That was the real problem. In essence I was creating my own reality - not good.

As I look through your photos and comments I see that all of them or great comments that would appear to be very encouraging for you. So maybe it's not Mayhem, that's giving you these feelings. Maybe it's these forums.

One of the odd things that I've found about this site is that most comments on most pictures of EVERYONE i've seen are great comments but when you go to forums (where the topics are not pictures) it gets UGLY.

Keep shooting dear, keep shooting. Forget about superficial support (or the lack thereof). Just continue to make your way around the modeling world and you'll find your niche.

By the way, you still owe me a shoot.

Jay Bowman wrote:
People tend to be overly positive here at MM.  They'll feed you full of false hope, I think.  Anyway, take this for what it's worth, as it's just my opinion...


You might be on the wrong side of the lens, NikkiC.  You sound like you're in love with the creative process, I just think you need to get a camera in your hands.

Lack of modeling gigs doesn't say anything about your looks or stats, per se, as the first thing would be your location.  I'm not sure that the fashion market in Iowa is clamoring for models of any height.  Get behind the camera.  Be the director.  Give your ideas life.  Not being the model doesn't make you any less attractive.  I mean, perhaps your creative visions are based around yourself, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it isn't so set in stone.  Playing with different looks opens up the possibilities for those ideas in your head. 


Besides, models measure their careers in years. 



Photographers measure their's in decades.