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JEALOUS & PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE partners of MODELS
I know it's not unusual for spouses and partners to be jealous of their other-half's modeling pursuits. But lately, I feel like a psychologist to a few of my models by counseling them. Sometimes Iâll get the excuse, âIâm sorry, but my spouse/partner has made sudden plans, so weâll have to plan for another time.â? (I wasnât born yesterdayâ¦you know.) I had one model that was physically attacked by his wife the night before a shootâ¦because the wife was afraid he would meet other female models. She scratched him up pretty good on the neck and faceâ¦because she thought it would show in the pictures. Did the bitch ever think about the possibilities of âMac Studio Techâ?? He showed up late the next day from oversleeping because his wife wouldnât allow him to sleep the entire night. Her fat ass unplugged the alarm clocks and stayed on the phone most of the night with fellow church members asking for advice. (They probably thought she was out-of-her-mind) Another time, his wife attached a hose to his gas tank and filled it with waterâ¦that way his car wouldnât crank and he couldnât go to his full-time job. As a result, he was fired. Then, she cried and apologized and paid to have it fixed. Sheâs ripped up all of his documents: birth certificate, social security card, and college transcripts. Sheâs destroyed all of the CDâs I gave him of the shoots. I feel bad, but what can I do? Why do models (or people in general) put up with this shit and stay? She better be glad she isnât married to meâ¦thatâs all I gotta say! Apr 27 06 05:28 pm Link wow... this reminds me of my boyfriends friend's wife. She went apeshit one night (after drinking for an extended period of time). My boyfriend and I were there while she went on her tirade. Her problem? She was scared that I was going to steal her husband. In that one night alone the woman tried to pin me against a refrigerator, pulled the AR-15 out of the closet and end to the living room where she threatened us (while we trying to get our shit together to make a quick escape) and then broke my damn toe while pushing my boyfriend and I both out the door. Woman is a crazy, jealous bitch! I too have heard a lot about this with models spouses/boyfriends. Why they don't respect themselves enough to get out of the relationship is beyond me. I sometimes think some people like the abuse because it makes them feel wanted or needed to have someone who is too scared to lose them. God knows if my boyfriend was a jealous/insane person he WOULD NOT be around.. Apr 27 06 05:36 pm Link All the years I've been doing this I came up with the motto : "I don't get involved in domestic problems, no exceptions"" It has worked pretty well.... Apr 27 06 05:39 pm Link It can't just be male models that sometimes have problems like this. Forget being married to someone so jealous that they would physically harm you! That is grounds for divorce! Ask him if he would be "better off without her?" Women are not the only ones who are physically abused in relationships. NO ONE should ever except that as part of their marriage. I don't care how badly the jealousy eats at her, she is sick and needs to get help. Probably more than what the church folks can help her with! I've seen some pretty scary stuff at weddings I've photographed. Excessive drug or alcohol use, and even fist fights! Apr 27 06 05:48 pm Link montgomery photographic wrote: It's sad though, because this model could prosper quite well in the modeling industry. He receives offers from photographers contracted by reputable agencies all of the time...but he is blinded by his current predicament. Apr 27 06 05:49 pm Link I have to agree that getting involved may not be the best idea, because it's just not a great idea to have business life and personal life mix together. I totally understand you wanting to help out, because I would, too... I think that, if the model asks your opinion about his relationship, then it's up to you whether or not you advise or help him out. If he's asking for your help, then he may need that extra little bit of support, so he'll actually take the first step towards getting out. If he doesn't ask, though, then you're probably better off not getting involved. You don't really know his feelings on the subject if he doesn't say anything about it, and he might react badly. It's hard to help in a situation when you don't know the whole story. I hope you can figure something out, and I hope your model gets some help! Apr 27 06 05:52 pm Link The wife is way to JEALOUS!!! why is he even staying around when she did this more than once? Her trashing all his SSN and College papers ect is way to much. even the CDS is to much. SHE NEVER GONNA CHANGE UNLESS SHE GETS HELP... but i have a question she has to be crazy for a reason he must of cheated cuz a women wont go that crazy unless her partner has done something like that. Apr 27 06 05:52 pm Link This post reverts back to my profile!! I have to say my husband intentionally tried to get me pregnant because he didnât ant me back in modeling and he figured if he impregnated me I would be big and no one would wan to shoot me. LOL(pregnant models ) Even though I don't want any more kids. (I sold my eggs) The simple fact is he tried to crush my hopes and dreams made me realize we needed to have a serious talk so hereâs how it went. â Honey if your not with me your against me and if your against me, Why am I with you? Accept it or leave its what I want and have always wanted to doâ¦â¦ end of conversation ! As For MRS Crazy a$$ wife, He should have drawn up divorce papers she sounds like she is severely jealous and has problems coping with him being a model and is EXTREMELY insecure with herself. I say relationship wise " If you feel like your going to lose them, you never had them to begin with " Support the ones you love! MISSPELLED WORD * Correction* ant=WANT ... for everyone who judges based on literacy .....TYPO... hehe Apr 27 06 05:54 pm Link Patrick Walberg wrote: What makes the situation worse...is that he is not fully a U.S. citizen. He married her because he genuinely loved her at the time, but now she threatens to have him deported through divorce. She hangs this "cloud" over his head for control. Apr 27 06 05:55 pm Link Amanda Padilla wrote: He may be completely innocent of that. I had an abusive girlfriend who did drugs and would beat on me. It is one of the most embarrassing situations to be in. Thank God I didn't marry her. She died of a drug overdose. That was many years ago when I was really young and foolish. I have stayed away from getting into relationships for a long time because of her. Who needs it? Apr 27 06 05:58 pm Link Patrick Walberg wrote: Bingo... wordup on this fur sure... I even created a webpage for it. Checkout the 'Wedding Bloopers' page here: http://www.pzstudios.4t.com Apr 27 06 05:59 pm Link ModelInstinctive wrote: So heres what you do , you get one of your female (Single) models to marry him. Tell her to take a long walk off a short pier sign the papers gone for 1-2 mths at most and he gets to stay.... hehe Apr 27 06 05:59 pm Link Patrick Walberg wrote: Bingo... wordup on this fur sure... I even created a webpage for it. Checkout the 'Wedding Bloopers' page here: http://www.pzstudios.4t.com Apr 27 06 06:00 pm Link Amanda Padilla wrote: I think that his wife mistaken him for a foreign slave... Apr 27 06 06:00 pm Link Patrick Walberg wrote: I am really sorry to hear that. Yeah nice guys to finish last.... Apr 27 06 06:01 pm Link montgomery photographic wrote: Me too - and if they bring their problems to a shoot - or can't show up for a shoot because of their wife/husband/significant other - no shoot - no reschedule.. Apr 27 06 06:07 pm Link Amanda Padilla wrote: Not so - there are no rules to insecurity and jealousy and how it manifests itself - she may also be Bi-Polar or have some other psychological problem - you never know Apr 27 06 06:11 pm Link ChristerArt wrote: But if I believe in someone, I am willing to make the sacrifice. People need people...even if it's just a photographer. That may be their only outlet and escape from their current situation. Apr 27 06 06:12 pm Link Brandy wrote: -blink- Apr 27 06 06:21 pm Link This situation is one of the extreme cases of what you see all the time with models. I had a similar experience with a boyfriend I lived with... he would delete photographer's phone numbers and actually burnt my portfolio. I left him in a flash... and your model should do the same. It's really nice to see how concerned and supportive you are being, going above and beyond. I believe the first step, before trying to convince him to file a divorce is to document the abuse (i.e. shots of the scratches inflicted, papers about the car damage, etc...) to support his case, especially if she is making deportation threats. He needs to arm himself beforehand. Apr 27 06 06:28 pm Link Glamour Boulevard wrote: Whats even more disturbing is: Apr 27 06 06:30 pm Link Brandy wrote: But you did steal the woman's husband! You went to her house! did the AR-15 jam? Apr 27 06 06:32 pm Link ModelInstinctive wrote: I was blinking at Brandys"my boyfriends wife" comment Apr 27 06 06:32 pm Link This all makes me EXTREMELY glad and grateful that I have a strong relationship founded on trust and communication so that I am supported in my endevours. I can say that sadly I have come across photographers that have been burned one too many times by escorts that are also in a relationship with the model. Its highly frustrating considering that my lover is one of the kindest people and most willing to help out as well. He enjoys photography and loves to go watch me sit so that he can learn. He stays out of the way, and yet, when needed, he's there. Good luck to your model friend. I hope he can find a way get out of the situation. I'd encourage him to consult a lawyer, at this point he's probably go enough grounds for abuse so that he could stay here despite his foreign status. Encourage him too, to document EVERYTHING that she does against him. The scratches, the shredding of important documents, everything. That will be very important for him to get out of the situation and prove that she's got issues. Apr 27 06 06:52 pm Link if this guy wants to stay with crazy bithc, thats not your fault. if he wants to put up with that shit, then let him. move on. he can only help himself in this case. Apr 27 06 06:57 pm Link Amanda Padilla wrote: some women are crazy without a reason. Apr 27 06 07:00 pm Link ModelInstinctive wrote: I've dealt with situations like this before. If he can make a case that she is abusing him (it doesn't have to be physical abuse) he can get the government to intervene, get a divorce and a green card as an "abused spouse". He needs to see an immigration attorney. Apr 27 06 07:18 pm Link Alexandria M. wrote: Sometimes people don't know how to get out of those situations. Sure get up and leave right? For some people, it might be that easy. For others, not so much. Some people have been abused their entire life by various people (parental's, siblings, sig. others, etc), so they don't know any different. Sure they may meet nice people, but to them, they are just fake...to good to be true. Or just don't know how to handle being treated right because they are not used to it or feel as though they don't deserve it. Aferall, they can't be that deserving after being beat their whole life right? Wrong! But they may not know or believe that. Apr 27 06 07:19 pm Link Nerlande wrote: Amen - you are wiser than you look! I had one - told me I would have to quit photography or else! Apr 27 06 07:35 pm Link ModelInstinctive wrote: We live in a possessive world, whaddya gonna do ? Apr 27 06 07:41 pm Link ModelInstinctive wrote: How long have they been married? Apr 27 06 07:58 pm Link Eric S. wrote: When I mention (and you emphasize) "my" models, I am referring to those I have worked with. How else would I mention my association with them? Your italicized reference doesn't excuse the situation. Nice try...though. Apr 27 06 07:59 pm Link Melany Wells wrote: That's mariage fraud and if caught, the USC can land in jail. Apr 27 06 08:00 pm Link Jessica Jill wrote: I agree... I am facing this right now myself. Apr 27 06 08:01 pm Link I've never understood why people stay in abusive situations, but they do. As photographers there is nothing we can do about it and maybe nothing we 'should' do about it. Most of us are not trained as counselors and as photographers, it's really none of our business. By butting, even if asked, we could easily make the situation worse. I ran into similar situation on occasion in the past. As a result I have this paragraph one a FAQ page on my site which seems to have kept me out of trouble. "What happens if after the shoot, my boyfriend or husband is unhappy and wants the pictures destroyed?" "That's a problem you need to work out in advance. I have enough baggage in my life without adding yours. If it is pr may be a problem for you, don't do the shoot. Basically its your problem and none of my business. Once the shoot is done, then its done. I invest a substantial amount of my time, energy and money in these sessions and can't throw that away. It is up to you to work out domestic problems in advance. If there is someone important in your life who may object, I strongly suggest you discuss it before doing the shoot. This may be art, but it is also business. Your significant other is welcome to be present during the shoot, if that helps." Apr 27 06 08:05 pm Link Glamour Boulevard wrote: LOL go back, re-read and re-submit in the morning "my boyfriends friend's wife" Apr 27 06 08:19 pm Link UnoMundo Photography wrote: LOL she wants to think I would do anything in the world to get to this man... needless to say... I have no interest whatsoever in a man who doesn't work and showers twice a week (tops) Apr 27 06 08:20 pm Link Brandy wrote: we all missed the "boyfriend friend's" - two possessive in a row - you misled us. Apr 27 06 09:18 pm Link You know I was researching this very topic not to long ago. Wondering if Stockholm Syndrome developed in Abused Spouses. IT DOES! I found a great website with alot of interesting & informative information that I think alot of you interested in this topic would be intrigued to check out. Click here & read this( Or copy & paste whatever it allows): http://www.womensaccounts.com/loving_an … drome.html Jen Apr 27 06 09:26 pm Link I think this happens quite often in situations with models... probably more frequently than in the general population. It's often been shown that very attractive people (especially females) often have serious self-esteem issues... they're used to always being judged and evaluated on the basis of their looks, and not things that have to be 'worked for' or 'earned'... and I think this makes someone pretty easy prey for a potential partner that will be abusive. It's obviously a lot more complicated than this, but that's about as simplistic a description as I can think of at the moment. Apr 27 06 10:35 pm Link |
