I am wondering if someone out there maybe able to help me.  I was listening to the radio one day, and they had a segment on the top 10 sex injuries.  #10 was broken bones (never had that happen)  the #5 spot was bruises, and the #1 thing was rug/capret burn.  Which has occured.

So here is where I need help, I can not put ointment on my tongue, what do I do????