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How do we politely say no; without insulting
I make a point to respond to all seemingly legitimate inquiries. I find it rude to ignore them, as by virtue of listing myself on sites like these, I AM soliciting those emails. Standard "You suck!" email: Thank you for your interest. However, I am not interested in working with oyu at this time. And yes, the use of the word "interest" twice DOES bother me, but I can never think of a proper synonym. Dec 08 05 11:18 am Link I like the various suggestions here Thanks all. I have come to the conclusion that it is better so reply with a no thank you or maybe at another time. Then it is to just let ignore. Unless you are casting for the next donkey show. Then I may just ignore you . Although since I have been answering many more emails I also have been some stranger and stranger ones. Yippe I have a fan base of pervs now. One thing I do not like at all is the whole concept of "If you don't shoot with me now I'll never shoot with you ever" I have been told this before.  Unless you have a deadline for a client is it really necessary to be so demanding. People change and projects change. I may not like a particular style you shoot this month but down the line as you change in styles and improve as a photographer I'll want to shoot with you. You may also come up with a great idea that I would think is super fun. Or I may change I may decide I love glamour later on and find a niche I want to shoot. So I'll start looking for photogs who shoot that style does that mean that because I said no six months ago you'll not want to work with me Dec 08 05 01:04 pm Link nyet,naw, nah, n`thanks,nuh uhn, neh, im cool off that, naw s`ok sorry  Dec 08 05 01:08 pm Link theda wrote: I was wondering if one of the models was gonna say something like this, finally Dec 08 05 01:11 pm Link theda wrote: "Thank you for your inquiry. However, I am not interested in working with you at this time." Dec 08 05 01:11 pm Link theda wrote: "Thank you for contacting me. However, I am not interested in working with you at this time." Dec 08 05 01:14 pm Link Here is my stab at this: Save a template document so that you don't have to re-type this: "Thanks for contacting me. I am appreciative of any one that want me to shoot with them. As you may know, I am increasingly selective about who I work with and it is important that the images taken of me are consistent with my modeling goals and aspirations. Again, I am appreciative that you want to shoot with me but I must decline your offer. I feel that [insert reason] Thanks again, Model X" reasons: "you have great potential but I would like to wait and see your development before I commit to shooting with you" (new models should not use this one) "I need to work with more experience and established photographers to help my development at this time" (new and intermediate level models can use this one) "I want to focus on [beauty, glamour, fashion, etc.] images for my modeling. While I appreciate the genre, I do not shoot nudes" "your work (as indicated by your portfolio) is outside my artstic limits" ---------- You get the jest. DO NOT: - quote a "fuck off" rate. It makes you look arrogant and could potentially disqualifies you from work with photographers that you may want to work with as they will perceive you to be too expensive for thier projects. We (photographers) do talk to each other. - be rude. What's the point but creating negativity and putting someone down? Besides we are all developing so the guy that you are rude to today could be the gatekeeper to a dream gig tomorrow. Don't burn bridges unless it's absoultey someone you don't ever want to deal with again. - ignore a message. A prompt reply stands out in my mind as someone who is serious and must be taken seriously. It gives you credibility as a model and not someone who is playing around. Hope this helps. Dec 08 05 02:15 pm Link What is really frustrating is when you decine an offer (repeatedly), and the person still won't take no for an answer... especially if they keep implying to others that you are going to work with them when you're not. I always behave in a professional manner, and f I don't want to work with someone, I find the politest way possible to say so directly. There, however, is one photographer who has done the above to me. He continually makes comments in front of others, implying that we're planning to shoot, when we are not. I've already declined his offer. I think he's enjoying giving them the impression that I want to work with him, I think because he feels it will reflect positively on him. But, it's frustrating me to no end. I'm at the point where I think I'm going to again reiterate to him in private that I am not interested in working with him (this time being more blunt). Then, if the comments in public continue, state clearly *in public* that I have no plans to work with him, thank him again for his interest, and wish him the best of luck in his endeavors. I don't like calling others out in public, but if they keep making false public comments, what other choice is left? Dec 08 05 04:30 pm Link I never get upset when a model says "NO"!!!! that's life .... But when I get ignored .. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhh Dec 08 05 04:43 pm Link area291 wrote: I disagree with this. If you are advertising yourself on-line and someone Dec 08 05 05:00 pm Link Diana Moffitt wrote: I think if you really told someone that he'd look at you like you were stupid. Dec 10 05 06:14 am Link I honestly hate when people ignore me. It really pisses me off. I think that if consideration is given from model to photographer or photographer to model, that one should at least have some courtesy and answer the response. When people start ignoring other people in the industry, it stinks of "I think I'm better than you and you're not even worth my two minutes to give you a polite reply". Dec 10 05 06:17 am Link When a model doesn't want to work with you, It's not a matter if the your work is good or not, there may be nothing in your portfolio that is of interest to the model. An experienced model usually won't do TFP unless she feels your work would be a good addition to her porfolio, otherwise, she is just wasting her time. It also works both ways. I have turned down a lot of models for TFP because I felt they wouldn't enhance my portfolio and I've been turned down by models who don't need more glamour or is not interested in pinup. It's a business, no photographer or model with any experience is going to work for "free" if there is nothing in it for them. When starting out, models and photographers generally do alot of TFP, it's good for practice, experience and a start on building a porfolio. As experience is gained, something funny happens, photographer and models get more selective. Dec 10 05 07:10 am Link Either give them your rates, or say "Sorry, I am not interested but best wishes with your project". If it were me, I would have MUCH more respect for you than if you blew me off or gave me a nonshalant BS excuse. Dec 10 05 08:50 am Link just tell him thats not the direction you'd like to take... and that you wish him luck! simple as that! -Melissa Mason Dec 10 05 08:41 pm Link You know, if you think the person may take it badly, or has had a history of taking rejection badly, you could always try "bending the truth". I mean, instead of saying, "I'm sorry, I don't want to work with you" or "you don't meet my standards" or something, why don't you just say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not available to do TFP shoots right now" or "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in doing any shoot at the moment as I am really busy with the holidays" ? You could even say that you have a lot going on right now and are "taking a break for a while". Some people take rejection badly. Believe me, I had a photographer on here flip out on me and then he changed his profile to complain about me, then he went on to contact me and insult me on how I am an amateur with amatuer photos. Alright, thanks. Please grow up. Not to mention he was so upset he deleted his account/pictures O.O -Alexandra Dec 10 05 11:45 pm Link That just sounds like he was highly unstable. model7299 wrote: Dec 11 05 12:42 am Link Wow, I feel so privelaged to have been able to shoot with Iona before she joined the ranks of NorCal's most wanted models! Even though I'm a beginner, I'm still pretty insulted when a model doesn't even reply to a request to shoot. I thought that was just about the most insulting thing until today when a model who contacted ME for a shoot messaged me and told me that "I think i pretty much have all the pictures and shoots lined up that i need for now... but thanks anyways!" Freaking OUCH! Well I'm glad I was good enough to shoot you BEFORE you found more competent people to take your picture. Geez. I liked the "silence" response more...  Dec 11 05 01:12 am Link To me it's never been a big deal. If I don't receive a reply I just figure that the models not interested in working with me at the time. If I'm really interested in working with her I'll send her another email in 3-4 months hoping for a postive reply. Mike Dec 11 05 08:11 am Link I definately feel that this is one of those situations where you can safely say not interested, without having to give an explanation. If you DO choose to go further, you can say sorry, but I am looking to diversify my portfolio with different type images, and am trying to stear away from anymore nude work. Truth is, you don't owe anyone an explanation, if you don't want to work with anyone thats your perogative. No use waisting your time and theirs with explanations. Dec 11 05 09:17 am Link adrienne of Zswana wrote: what if the guy is a millionaire? Dec 11 05 11:25 am Link No reponse is just rude and you may want to work with that that person in the future. A while back a model contacted me about shooting. I e-mailed her with dates. No reply. Tried again. Nothing. She contacted me again same pattern. I'm going back to her area soon and I am paying for a small project. Yep, you guessed it she contacted me. I responded I need reliable people. She writes back. I guess this time she felt the need to respond. Saying, she was professional and reliable. I wanted to ask when? A question requires a response. Keep it short and polite but respond. Dec 11 05 03:01 pm Link Doug Swinskey wrote: "You can't win Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine".-Obi Wan Kenobi, SW ANH Dec 12 05 01:41 pm Link It's not how you say no, or why you say no. It's having the person hear you say no. And they badger you to death until you say yes. It's a problem for me also as a stylist when I'm asked to work on projects or even put them together when there is no money involved. I think I tried just about everyway to say no. But then it happens, out of nowhere I explode, get the 2X4 and smack them between the eyes as I yell NO. I can't tell you how much it drove me crazy until I became this kind of ass hole to these people. For a short while I wore the hat proudly. Embraced it. There responce, ''well all you had to do was say no''. Over time instead of arguing, now I just tell them to give me there address and I will send them my bills. If that is exceptiable I am free for TFP's come 07. Then, gotta run my other line is ringing. I have to say so far so good. Of course if a project interests me, that's a different story. But from time to time I do miss that hat! R- Dec 12 05 10:43 pm Link Saying "No, thank you" is fine. Not responding is rude. Dec 12 05 10:49 pm Link I don't mind so much if a model I contact doesn't get back to me at all. Either they are too busy, not interested or not serious about modeling. Thats fine. What I find rude are the ones who respond and correspond with you to coordinate a shoot and halfway through the planning stages just go "off the air." Nothing has changed, nothing offensive has been said they just don't reply. That scenario is one I find the most annoying. There may have been reasons for them to back off the project but you never find out what they may have been. Dec 12 05 11:24 pm Link |
