Doug Vosler wrote:
I know you wanted answers from females, but I am gonna throw my 2 cents in.

I'm married... before I got married to her, I told her how it was going to be, and said if you can't deal with it, then we shouldn't get married.

I remind her of that conversation frequently.

I just kinda figured most men would feel me on this..
I am glad to see I am not alone. The difference is, I simply dont want the damn conversation. Get old and grinds on me..

Thanks....

Dawn Winter wrote:
I understand you have a working relationship and somewhat friendship with the model, but your woman comes before any other. You apparently forgot that.

Peace of mind comes before your woman.

Ransom J wrote:

Peace of mind comes before your woman.

Well he has no woman, so let's see if he can find it.

Dawn Winter wrote:

Well he has no woman, so let's see if he can find it.

HE broke it off with HER.  Methinks that was to FIND peace of mind.

Since when is having peace of mind connected with having a woman?

Ransom J wrote:

HE broke it off with HER.  Methinks that was to FIND peace of mind.

Since when is having peace of mind connected with having a woman?

The real question is, did he give his woman peace of mind, or did he continue to let her grow suspicious of his actions with ms flirtatious model to feed his ego?

if your woman sees another model flirting with you constantly, do you really think she'll just shrug it off as it continues to build and build and build? You'd have to be pretty airheaded as a woman to let something like that go unchecked, especially if they have a working relationship with each other.

Dawn Winter wrote:

The real question is, did he give his woman peace of mind, or did he continue to let her grow suspicious of his actions with ms flirtatious model to feed his ego?

if your woman sees another model flirting with you constantly, do you really think she'll just shrug it off as it continues to build and build and build? You'd have to be pretty airheaded as a woman to let something like that go unchecked, especially if they have a working relationship with each other.

Half way flirtatious messages on the tag section on an internet networking site shouldn't be enough to rattle your peace of mind.

Also it's every individual's responsibility to make their own peace, so it wasn't his job to give her peace of mind, it was his job to give himself peace of mind, to which he did by breaking up with her.

Ransom J wrote:

Half way flirtatious messages on the tag section on an internet networking site shouldn't be enough to rattle your peace of mind.

Also it's every individual's responsibility to make their own peace, so it wasn't his job to give her peace of mind, it was his job to give himself peace of mind, to which he did by breaking up with her.

psssst.....Ransom: go check the newbie forum. *snicker*

Ok sorry for the side note.

back to what you guys were saying.

Cagirl wrote:
Photographers work with a lot of gorgeous models..thats why its really difficult to trust "them"... .I personally don't  understand the reasons why photographers would shoot models all their live...I believe that as soon as they are done with their portfolios they should move on..and try to start a business...or something...
Angie

Shooting models is my business. So with this line of reasoning I should close my studio and open up a 7-11?

Vance wrote:
Ok,
I have to ask, just to make sure I am not crazy. I recetly broke up with a model.

One of te reasons is because of ONE woman who I have shot in the past kept leaving comments on my page. The comments were flirtatiois in nature and left enough to the imagination that you could spin it any way you want. OK fine.

This particular person is in a relationship and is quite fond of me and we clicked as photgrapher andd model. THATS it..

Is she hot..DUH! Most good models are. DUH! Do I find her attractive..DUH! Im not blind and I refuse to lie. Does it mean I want to jump her bones? NO..

UNLESS and if I were single. DUH!

Now, I ask..am I supposed to tell every swinging boob they have to be mindful of how they talk or tag me. Should I really gothrough life smacking people on the hand? Do I really want to live my life that way?

Let's get real, if I had been doing something, would I not HIDE it?

So, I had to end it..

Am I nuts?

Holla back mayhem...

Yeah, I know..I opened the door for some whoop ass...
I am just curious. I cant be the only one with this view point, or am I crazy?



????????????????????

This should get interesting.

Frankly, unless you know the model as a friend, I'd keep the flirting to a low or make it non-existent. Because you don't know how she is going to take it..unless you absolutely feel that there is some connection and it goes both ways. So, were you right to end it? If that's what makes you confortable, then yes.

If you actually wanted to pursue it...well, that's a different story-

Ransom J wrote:

Half way flirtatious messages on the tag section on an internet networking site shouldn't be enough to rattle your peace of mind.

Also it's every individual's responsibility to make their own peace, so it wasn't his job to give her peace of mind, it was his job to give himself peace of mind, to which he did by breaking up with her.

Going by that analogy, he did her a favor.

Dawn Winter wrote:

Going by that analogy, he did her a favor.

\

Did himself a favor.  If by proxy that granted HER peace of mind then more power to her.  But whatever insecurities she has that allows her to get riled up at some inocuous tags on an internet modeling site still exist regardless of if he's with her or not, so I seriously doubt her mind is all that tranquil

Dawn Winter wrote:
I understand you have a working relationship and somewhat friendship with the model, but your woman comes before any other. You apparently forgot that.

Agreed.  Is there more to this?  Did you explain the situation to your now-ex?  Did the posting model know that you were not, in fact, single at the time?  Could she have interpreted as you being single during a shoot you guys had together?

Vance wrote:
Now, I ask..am I supposed to tell every swinging boob they have to be mindful of how they talk or tag me. Should I really gothrough life smacking people on the hand? Do I really want to live my life that way?

For the sake of any current relationship, you should.

Take away MM or MySpace.  Let's pretend the messages are being left on your phone.

And...only tell them if they keep doing it.  Otherwise, maybe you simply just need to delete the comments with no fanfare.  If they ask why you deleted it, I'd tell them that I loved the comment but it appeared a little more flirtatious than I'm comfortable with because i'min a relationship and she often checks my work.

Trust is such a hard thing to have in other people as it is.  Why make it harder?

Dawn Winter wrote:

The real question is, did he give his woman peace of mind, or did he continue to let her grow suspicious of his actions with ms flirtatious model to feed his ego?

if your woman sees another model flirting with you constantly, do you really think she'll just shrug it off as it continues to build and build and build? You'd have to be pretty airheaded as a woman to let something like that go unchecked, especially if they have a working relationship with each other.

Lady comes first? First is a given..

However, I am not and never will, act like some crazed boyfriend slapping every hand that makes my Lady feel insecure. THough that is her responsibility. I flirt with my married friends in front of their husbands. ADILTS can do that in fun. IT happens.

Cindy Mcgrath comes to mind, OP..on and ON.. ADULT fun without anything else.

Some stuff is over the top and just becomes childish. Like the guy who has to punch every guy who looks at his womans booty. Come now..grow up.

Six yrs is a long time, it ws not a decision made lightly. There is this thing called communication. UNDRSTANDING and meeting halfway.

We are talking about TAGS here..PUBLIC tags on a website. ADULT comments..NOT COME DO ME COMMENTS...

Here is the low down..
I shoot model..We make awesome images..we click...As model and photgrapher.

Weset up next shoot..she is VERy excited..

Send TAG..

I have the gloves, the rope, and you have the couch..let do this.

ANd..

I have the gloves, Im ready ro get sexy ...

Shit like that...

OK, really...Lets be real here..That should not be cause for crap..
DID Imention the girl has a man?

And domt ask me if Ithink a woman is attractive unless yu want a real answer. I dont play the EMOTION GAME...lets keep it real. You know where I am putting my wanker.

MY money and my free time.

Woman comes first..OK..
Where do us guys come...after all the emotional crap?..
I think not..

Dont ask...
I'll tell ya.

I AM PISSED

Christopher Hartman wrote:

For the sake of any current relationship, you should.

Take away MM or MySpace.  Let's pretend the messages are being left on your phone.

And...only tell them if they keep doing it.  Otherwise, maybe you simply just need to delete the comments with no fanfare.  If they ask why you deleted it, I'd tell them that I loved the comment but it appeared a little more flirtatious than I'm comfortable with because i'min a relationship and she often checks my work.

Trust is such a hard thing to have in other people as it is.  Why make it harder?

Harder..Hmmm..

Imade it real easy..I broke up with her..

Here is the kicker..

Im STILL not diping my tally wacker anyplace...

Not looking too, not even thinking about it..

What I los in affection, companionship and sex, I gain a ton or PEACE and well being..

No woman is worth that kind of drama..NO WOMAN..

I'd rather be alone than be in a constant battle..I will hold off for someone who can handle me with out any BS. They do exist. Life is too short.

I'm still pissd, but I  dont spend 3 hours a night arguing over crap, and not getting my work done.

Geeeeeeesh...

Vance wrote:
Here is the low down..
I shoot model..We make awesome images..we click...As model and photgrapher.

Weset up next shoot..she is VERy excited..

Send TAG..

I have the gloves, the rope, and you have the couch..let do this.

ANd..

I have the gloves, Im ready ro get sexy ...

Shit like that...

OK, really...Lets be real here..That should not be cause for crap..
DID Imention the girl has a man?

And domt ask me if Ithink a woman is attractive unless yu want a real answer. I dont play the EMOTION GAME...lets keep it real. You know where I am putting my wanker.

MY money and my free time.

Woman comes first..OK..
Where do us guys come...after all the emotional crap?..
I think not..

Dont ask...
I'll tell ya.

I AM PISSED

First of all- don't start with "where do guys come" crap...cause that's what it is.

Why are you so pissed?

Wouldn't it behoove you to tell HER all this instead of US?

Daniela V wrote:

First of all- don't start with "where do guys come" crap...cause that's what it is.

Why are you so pissed?

Wouldn't it behoove you to tell HER all this instead of US?

You miss the point..
Its all been said till I was blue in the face..

And this isnt a thread to get into a denbate with you or anyone else.

And a mans feelings are no less valid than a woman. In tdays world of men turning into a bunch of pussies, I choose not to partake.

I love women, but the age of being a kiss ass man are over for me. I'll wait for a true equal in mind, heart and soul.

Thats my only mistake.

I am pissed at myself...FYI..

I live, I learn, ..repeat cycle..

Rinse

Kim Higley wrote:
he did and he made it clear he would rather have his freedom to flirt with other women despite our history..than to ask her to tone it down.  It is me and we were together for over  7 years (not 6).  and it may mean i am insecure but i don't like the comments one particular female kept leaving on his myspace page--and i don't know if she knew he and i were together. and of course there is much not being said about our long relationship.....so you hear one side and one little part.
you may all think me nuts--for owning up to the  other half of this...but all i can say is 7 years is a long time and now he thinks he will have the peace of mind he never had with me.  i hope he finds it.  he is pissed and at me and yep he told me.

so you guys get a minute glimpse into ourworld.  i know there will likely be some reaction to all this. 

He and I apprear to be 2 different people and view things very differently--it does not make one of us better than the other--just  means we don't work as he put it.

that is it for now...except I care deeply about him and I wish him the best in his life

Kim

Nice..

I dont recall using your name..Or calling you out..
interesting..

I will vent in the forum..But I wont bring a fight into one..

Nor would I ever point you out...

...

Vance wrote:

Nice..

I dont recall using your name..Or calling you out..
interesting..

Vance your best bet is to exit the thread and let it die.  This can go nowhere good very fast.

Ransom J wrote:

Vance your best bet is to exit the thread and let it die.  This can go nowhere good very fast.

Roger that..

Doug Vosler wrote:
I know you wanted answers from females, but I am gonna throw my 2 cents in.

I'm married... before I got married to her, I told her how it was going to be, and said if you can't deal with it, then we shouldn't get married.

I remind her of that conversation frequently.

mine has a problem till she sees the check/s going into the bank account

Doug Vosler wrote:
I know you wanted answers from females, but I am gonna throw my 2 cents in.

I'm married... before I got married to her, I told her how it was going to be, and said if you can't deal with it, then we shouldn't get married.

I remind her of that conversation frequently.

\
You couldn't have said it "that coldly" I mean, I can't imagine her marrying you if you talk to her like that...and on a regular basis.

But to digress a bit, you know her better then I do...I am aware some females are much more strong willed then others. lol

:-P

Dawn Winter wrote:
I understand you have a working relationship and somewhat friendship with the model, but your woman comes before any other. You apparently forgot that.

Exactly.  You should've told the other model to pipe down on the comments as it made your girlfriend uncomfortable.  Her not leaving comments would in no way inhibit creative energy.

Doug Vosler wrote:
I know you wanted answers from females, but I am gonna throw my 2 cents in.

I'm married... before I got married to her, I told her how it was going to be, and said if you can't deal with it, then we shouldn't get married.

I remind her of that conversation frequently.

CUnique wrote:
You couldn't have said it "that coldly" I mean, I can't imagine her marrying you if you talk to her like that...and on a regular basis.

You'd be wrong.  I've had too many significant others that like to "tell me what they THINK I wanted to hear".  I have to be blunt to get the point accross.

Vance wrote:

Harder..Hmmm..

Imade it real easy..I broke up with her..

Here is the kicker..

Im STILL not diping my tally wacker anyplace...

Not looking too, not even thinking about it..

What I los in affection, companionship and sex, I gain a ton or PEACE and well being..

No woman is worth that kind of drama..NO WOMAN..

I'd rather be alone than be in a constant battle..I will hold off for someone who can handle me with out any BS. They do exist. Life is too short.

I'm still pissd, but I  dont spend 3 hours a night arguing over crap, and not getting my work done.

Geeeeeeesh...

Understand that I have no idea what kind of relationship you really had.  Maybe you two really are NOT a match and this just helped you find a way/reason to end it.

my point was more generic.  For any relationship.

I have a really close female friend.  She's married.  I could totally understand if her husband got a little bent because I keep inviting his wife, my friend, out to lunch.  Just the two of us.  It's disrespectful in my opinion.  So how do I keep my close friendship with this female friend?  Well, since her husband is obviously a very important person in her life then we should include him.

So, if you have work that may be a source of concern.  Try to include them in some way. If you ever meet socially with models, bring your SO.

There are ways to BUILD trust if you really want it.  I don't expect any girls to trust me.  Instead, I show them that they can.  And I'm sure there are still people who will see this and STILL have issues.  And in those cases, it is best to do as you did.  Cut them loose.