|
Forums >
General Industry >
Why so hard to find wife for glamour photographer?
I'm fashion photographer and 50% of my photography is glamour and other stuff (naked girls and boyz).... here is the problem i have. Every girl i was dating sooner or later put me in the corner with question: "....you have to choose, ME or your photography..." well... i'm very simple in situations like that, and here you go - i'm still single. i lost my hope already... so, photographers let me know if you have similar problem. and girls, let me know what happens in girls head when she's dating glamour photographer? Jun 23 06 04:04 pm Link Sounds like you're having trust issues... That is either poor choice of women or lack of good solid communication. I have an open relationship with my boyfriend and we have no problem with trust issues. Neither of us is the jealous type and when an issue arrises over anything, we immediately stop and talk about it. Sounds like you could use some time invested in working on communication. Good luck. Jun 23 06 04:55 pm Link I'm curious, where and how do you meet the women you are dating? Are they clear on exactly what you do? My wife and I have been married for nearly 24 years. I started doing model photography a little over a year ago. Before I did, it took some clear, direct communication both ways between us. Once she met a few models and assisted me on a few sessions, she became more supportive. She doesn't like being in front of the camera, but she does like to help with props and is becoming more interested in costuming. I still have to give her a little extra attention if I've spent a lot of time editing on a big shoot. She doesn't quite understand how I can distance myself from the image as a whole when touching up blemishes, etc on an image. She sees me staring intently at a model, while I'm seeing the flaws that need to be corrected. Still overall I've got it pretty good... Jun 23 06 05:08 pm Link I've been married 19 years - and have been shooting longer than that - though in fairness, I only started shooting nudes about 5 years ago and glamour stuff this year. Either way, my work has never been an issue between us. Sounds like some trust issues.......is it possible you're sending out some bad vibes to your dates where your work is concerned? Just a thought.....FWIW Jun 23 06 05:15 pm Link I'm going to agree - it's communication. If she feels comfortable, there shouldn't be a problem. I met my wife when she was a model and I was... um... just some geek. As I got into photography (mainly because she was a model), I started doing more and more glamour work, and now I regularly work with stunning women. She has very little problem with this, mainly because she's very comfortable in our relationship. Looks like it's not what you do that's the problem, it's trust. Jun 23 06 05:16 pm Link I agree too it is communication. My problem is I don't get out enough outside of photography. Every event I cover, most people I meet are idustry people and I don't/won't date clients. Even tonight, going to a latin party but guess what all clients or potential clients... I did have one GF who was not comfortable with some of the glamour I shoot her rule was don't lie to her but she didn't want to see the photos. It wasn't so much a trust issue but she was a hard core conservative and thought that women who posed like that were in poor taste and had no self respect. We discussed that often. Jun 23 06 05:23 pm Link Jack_Photo wrote: Yaâ think they might consider you a pedophile? Jun 23 06 05:30 pm Link If you DO find a wonderful, sweet, trusting, confident, intelligent, fun, cultured, mature, humorous, generous, spiritual, grounded woman........... Let me know if she has a cute single sister  Jun 23 06 05:35 pm Link Peter Gowland was a legend in the classic nude/pinup world for ages. He and his wife worked together and they did workshops and presentations around the country on his style, his lighting and the large format cameras he designed and built. She had a wonderful way of describing it: "I'm around and I help Peter. When other women or my friends ask how I deal with it, I tell them 'I trust Peter. I'm not worried about any women who may come in the front door for a photo shoot. I would be worried about any trying to sneak in the back door.'" It was her wonderful way of saying, with communication and professional approach between a couple, there's nothing to fear about those in the routine of business. Jun 23 06 05:42 pm Link A = Trust, B = Communication, C = Love, D = Lonely Photographer A+B can = C C-A = D C-B = D A+C-B = D B+C-A = D Some of the greatest photographers = D Jun 23 06 05:43 pm Link I recently started dating a girl (3rd date tonight) and so far she loves my photography. Thinks I'm amazing and is looking forward to working as an assistant sometime. She seems pretty darn open-minded. I even casually mentioned how a couple girls are interested in me shooting them nude...she thinks I'm crazy for even having to think about it. My answer should have been an immediate yes. Jun 23 06 05:45 pm Link C R Photography wrote: ... Jun 23 06 05:46 pm Link My wife was somewhat jealous of the nudes and some glamour until she actually sat in on a session I did with a model and found out how utterly like WORK it really is. That fixed her hehe Jun 23 06 05:49 pm Link Anderson Image wrote: i will put this on my photostudios door.... Jun 23 06 05:49 pm Link This is also a problem for Fashion photographers. It has even been an issue for girlfriends that have been in the business. I often joke that at my age and the women I meet I would do better by saying that I am unemployed, going bald, and live with my mother instead of saying I am a freelance fashion/art photographer(that has a shave head, needs more work, and lives with his dogs.) It is hard for when you are slow you are so slow when busy you are too busy and/or traveling to far away places for long periods of time. Jun 23 06 06:08 pm Link i agree with the fact of COMMUNICATION and TRUST being very important... and state very clear in the beginning of our relationship, that most important is trust, and i'm man of word. On my first dates i'm mostly talking about my photography, funny and sad sides of this business, and all girls always very exited about me being photographer and even more exited about me taking pictures of woman beauty in very sexy way. But after some time, usually 2-3 months... question: ...what about us? ...Looks like you like your models more than me. ...You spending more time with them in the studio or on the computer much more than with ME. ...end etc. question is: should i cut my work day? Should i stop taking pictures of GREAT looking and especially SEXY looking models? Should i turn off my computer screen when i'm retouching private parts of my models? Just because i wanna get married... Jun 23 06 06:09 pm Link imagine the wife of an OB/GYN ... yeah, trust issues. it has to be developed & nurtured. FML Jun 23 06 06:16 pm Link Jack_Photo wrote: I think finding someone I will call my wife is just plain challenging in any circumstance. The fact that my relationship also needs to pass this "shooting pretty girls" test only helps to reinforce my feelings that when this does happen, it will be that much stronger of a relationship. Jun 23 06 07:02 pm Link Jack_Photo wrote: My ex did the same thing.....gee I miss her....LOL...NOT! Jun 23 06 07:19 pm Link Eric S. wrote: simmilar qualities but a brother.. ??? Jun 23 06 07:20 pm Link FKVPhotoGraphics wrote: Hmmmm ... Ditto here. Jun 23 06 07:25 pm Link Ever noticed how many female models stop because their boyfriends / husbands don't approve of them modelling lingerie or nude? Different side, same problem. We need a sign: "this is work, dammit!" Maybe we could get a sign available for sale on MM? Jun 23 06 07:37 pm Link Been there, done that. I was dating a girl who was jealous of my attention to the girls I would shoot. She had trust issues already. And no matter how much I would tell her that she had nothing to worry about, she still didn't like me shooting other girls. She even began saying that I was degrading women because of the shoots (swimsuits). I could never see how I was degrading women especially if the women in the pictures did not feel as if they had been degraded. Finally, I just excepted the fact that she will never be able to handle me have other females in my life that I have to pay attention to in detail. The models and I have a professional relationship as well as a friendship, nothing more. I've even invited her to come to some of my shoots to see me and how I work. She refused. I have learned that if someone wanted to be with me, they have to except what I do for a living, its a package deal. The mistake is made when a person tries to change you to suit not a positive change for you or the relationship (ex: drugs, alcohol addiction), but a change to suit their personal issues and hang-ups. She knew you were a photographer from the start. Except it from the start or move on. Jun 23 06 08:02 pm Link FML-Photography wrote: OB-GYN looks at sick vags; you want to do that every day? Jun 23 06 08:04 pm Link Or do what I did.... I made her part of the creative process.....and got a great MUA to boot....I invested the money for her to go to the schools....bought the gear....... and viola....a working partnership....and its great having a mua on hand for whenever I want to shoot.... Rick Jun 23 06 08:10 pm Link Dion McInnis wrote: Amen! Alice Gowland is a wonderful woman I`ve spoken to her many times, her and Peter are legends in the Glamour Photography world Jun 23 06 08:11 pm Link God, I so missed these Dr. Phil like threads. Jun 23 06 08:18 pm Link There is also the stereotype of being a fashion glam shooter...anyone remember the original film " Blow Up" where the photographer was rolling around on the studio floor with his model? Trust is one thing, but opportunity is another. The truth is that women do come on to the photographer, I know Jun 23 06 08:31 pm Link I think what we do is totally misunderstood outside the industry.....from a photographers viewpoint....can't begin to tell you how many times I've heard, "what's so hard about pushing a button".....it all looks so easy but then again so does playing classical piano....until you try...... And it's not just photographers.....I've also worked a a graphic artist and used to hear pretty much the same thing.....how hard can it be using a computer..... Seems that anything that requires creativity is mistakenly taken for "fun, fun, fun"......and at times it may be.....but damn I sure sweat a lot having all this "fun".... Jun 24 06 12:00 am Link That is a tough one. One thing I've learned about trust. Never put it to the test if you don't have to. If you think your nude photography is more important than a lasting marriage, then my guess is you may run into this kind of problem over and over. My wife is a WORKING model and I would never shoot nudes because I see no reason to MAKE her trust me in a situation that she already would feel isecure about. Your work is amazing! Not many here can I say that about. The right woman may make you consider a compromise into more fashion. From the looks of it, you would have no problem making the change... and making the money. Who knows? Jun 24 06 12:14 am Link Jack_Photo wrote: You need to talk to Bill Bates, Mayhem #127047. His wife, Wanda, is his primary model & Muse. :-) Solution for you: Marry a model! Jun 24 06 12:20 am Link CapturedImage wrote: I'd buy one, definitely. Jun 24 06 06:26 am Link C R Photography wrote: eww Jun 24 06 07:40 am Link joe greene photo wrote: Bite your tongue! Jun 24 06 07:47 am Link Jack_Photo wrote: I think there are some things about artists in general that may make relationships difficult, starting with the orientation to objects. Jun 24 06 08:44 am Link My wife and I have been married for just under 13 years. I brought up this very conversation about our second date telling her this is what I do, and this is who I am, if you want this relationship to work, don't try to change me. Thirteen years later, the only thing she is trying to change about me, is to pick up after myself. Jun 24 06 08:51 am Link It's all about trust, commitment and respect. Remember the old fire safety triangle lesson about the three elements needed to sustain fire - heat, air and fuel? Well, trust, commitment and respect are the three elements of the sucessful relationship triangle. Remove any one and, like a fire, the relationship goes out. Try to get your girlfriend involved somehow in what you do. My wife accompanies me to all photo shoots and helps as my assistant. She may make some costumes for an upcoming shoot. She helps me research ideas. I did a meet & greet last night with an MM model. We met at a coffee shop. I sat next to the model so I could view images on her laptop computer and talk about ideas she had for a shoot. Many of those ideas involved nudity. Her boyfriend sat across the table from her, and sitting next to him and across the table from me was my wife. Our short meet & greet turned into a three hour conversation with laughter, stories, jokes and tales from her of sleazy photographers and the really nice photographers she's worked with! When we parted, I felt I had made two new friends as well as found another model to work with--maybe two models as her boyfriend has an incredibly photogenic face. Now we just have to talk him into modeling for me. :-) Jun 24 06 09:12 am Link I have this same problem. When I met my wife , she knew I was a photographer but it was more of a hobby and I had never worked with models at that time. so no problem. When I decided to go from hobby to pro and started working with models, we had seriuos problems. She told me if she had known before hand that I was going to do this kind of work, she would never have married me and just can not seem to get past it. I have tried everything, include her in the shoots and she has some very good ideas sometimes. The glamour and nudes are where the problem is. She just can not seem to grasp what its about for me. She can not seem to understand. She does not see it as I do, as an art that takes way more skill to create than just pure fashion, depending on the fashion of course. As stated above, she sees me editing and staring at the image, while I am seeing the flaws and correcting the image, in her mind I must be lusting for this other beautiful woman and feels threatened and or jealous. I FEEL YOUR PAIN! Jun 24 06 09:17 am Link I think it boils down to the girls insecurities more than anything. Yu're just not goign for the right girl... Find another artist etc who understands & apreaciates your need to create & shoot these images. or find a girl who is secure about it & has the confidence in herself to not mind. They are out there xDDx Jun 24 06 09:51 am Link Eric S. wrote: ahahahaha!! Silly.. Jun 24 06 10:15 am Link |
