I have retired from photography and now spend my free time punching stupid people in the face, as such, those rates are far more reasonable then my photography rates, which I don't do anymore, unless punching people in the face counts as photography.



So, lets get a couple things straight.


I really, no bullshit, don't take pictures anymore.  For a while, maybe a long while.  I'm sick of the vain, nobody makes any money because we will all work for free and undercut each other back-stab self-fuckery that is this industry.  If you wanna go and pour your sweat and blood into an image -FOR FREE- just because it will be published on the internet and -oh my gawd- maybe a magazine because that gives you some fucked up sense of self worth then go ahead, but leave me out of it. Your vanity killed this industry. Sorry you didn't get enough hugs when you where little, but get over it and have some self worth.



If you want to have me shoot you, for publication, then find a client and have them pay me. 

All my fame and 50 cents still won't buy me a cup of coffee so I'm not interested in fame. I like meat, motorcycles, and sex. Two of which are expensive, and the last one, well don't assume I want it from you sugar.
Models usually make horrible lays anyways.

Strangely this leaves me in the boat of TAKING PICTURES FOR MONEY.
Abstract concept, I know.


If you really wanna shoot something leave the expectations at home. Don't even expect images, the magic is in the creation. The more you ask for images the less chance I will ever look at them. Even when I do finish them, there is a good chance that they will end up on a collectors wall and never see the sycophantic self delusion fun club that is the internet. Yes. It's a gamble. Deal with it.

For some strange reason models think that the time they spend standing in front of a camera is equal to the prep, set up, tear down, post work and $50k photographers can spend on gear.  Yes, a great model is an amazing awesometastic wonderful thing, but don't fool yourself into thinking this is an equal trade.
It's not.
The less you expect from this world the less chance you'll end up disappointed.



But..... If you have some absurd idea and the location and costumes to back it up, maybe we can play house. I'll even be nice.

Also, to answer the eternal question of if you can bring an escort to the shoot....

Sure bring your boyfriend. 

I'll alpha dog him to the point where he feels so inadequate that he ends up hating both of us and you'll end up living in my car...

so your call.




Actually, no, it's my call.

No fucking escorts.

I don't want you living in my car with your fucking model shit everywhere. I have important places to drive.


do you hear me? THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS I AM TALKING ABOUT HERE.

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