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I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I perform short operas in the street to raise money for injured stunt dolphins, and regularly power lift garden furniture for hours at a time. Occasionally I tread water for three days in a row. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. Well, this pretty much sums me up.. oh and I can cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.

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