About Me

..Hmmm, what to say?

I was born in the Ming dynasty in China. After working as a concubine for the emperor for a few years I became the first new age ambient trance musician. Trance wasn't a big hit so I moved to Mongolia and found gainful employment as a general for The Golden Hordes. Egypt was lovely back then, you could see so many stars at night.

Later on I founded Germany, but found it was too big, so sold it for a goat and 2 wives, one of which died of the Black Death around 1666, but she was quite old by then, so I got over it.

Eventually, in 1986 I moved to Cardiff where I was schooled again and excelled in all aspects of academia; however, as I was 556 years old, this wasn't surprising. I liked netball the best because I got to wear gym knickers.

After gaining 3 degrees (in Astrophysics, Dance and Media Studies) and 7 PhD's (2 of them were honorary though, so I guess they don't count?) I decided to become an IT consultant, mainly for the babes, but partly for the grand title.

Finally, because of a pheromone defect caused by an infection I gained whilst helping Raphael do his paintings, certain flying insects are sexually attracted to me. Really, they're like moths to a flame!

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