I am compelled to expel these feelings from my belly
and hopelessly seek to unravel the chaos which haunts my mind.
It is a painful process regardless if it originates from pleasure
or regret
or hope
or loss.
Pleasure and pain do not stand in opposition of each other for me.
A most horrible drug, art, and having tasted it
I will hunt,
beg,
or steal to find it again and again
for as many moments as I can
before that little oblivion joins itself and I am no more.

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