Kaouthia wrote:
Can't speak from a model's perspective, but I'd tell him to get over it or get lost.

yup
if this is what you'd like to be doing (seriously), he either needs to get behind it or get out.
now if this is just something you are trying out, maybe you decide you are done, but if he is controlling here-chances are he is going to be controlling in general

Vaudeville wrote:
I'm about to sound like an asshole, because I'm not all that much older than you, but:

You're sixteen. Statistically, this boy is not going to be the man you end up spending your life with, especially if he's getting angry over modeling gigs.

Have you guys sat down and talked about this? Have you asked him why he gets angry about something that (I assume) you enjoy?

To answer your question: I don't put up with jealous men. Our personalities would clash horribly. My boyfriend is massively supportive and adores my work (yes, even my nude work). IMO, a healthy relationship is one where you communicate openly and support your partner. When that stops it's time to reevaluate your relationship.

Well, since a model said it first....

+1000

K I C K H A M wrote:
Does he tell you WHAT hes jealous of? You're young, maybe it's something you can work out just through understanding.

Is he jealous of/ paranoid of the photographers? The people viewing your picture? Thinks you're smart but models are stupid so why are you wasting your time being so vain? (I've heard such things...)

I think determining the reason for the anger is important if you're planning on keeping modeling and your boyfriend both in your life.

This, too.

Heather Honey wrote:
No, my fiance isn't jealous in the LEAST. He supports me in my choices and in modeling, finding a guy who is totally secure with himself, and the relationship makes a huge difference.

So very very true!!!

Megan Tomas wrote:
Thank you guys so much for responding..

Well, he's 18. I guess he's kinda young too? But age really doesn't have anything to do with this. I've asked him what he's jealous of... he doesn't care about the photo views, photographers or anything like that. He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Uh, no. It's either he's okay with me modeling, or I'm done with him.

I am EXTREMELY serious about modeling. It's what I plan to be my future.. It's what I want to do with my life.

Thanks for helping guys =]

Age somewhat does. Not always, but it plays a hand a good amount of the time. Maturity usually comes along with time and life experience; there are a lot of kids in our generation who are very immature emotionally. Many of them are older than both of us.

You sound like you have your act together; he sounds like an little boy who doesn't want to share. IMO, his saying that he wants to be the only thing in your life should be a major red flag, modeling or no. That wreaks of controlling behavior, and that simply isn't healthy for a relationship.

Megan Tomas wrote:
He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Right.  The next thing he gets jealous of?  Your friends.  And he'll stop you from hanging out with them.  I lost a VERY good friend that way, and when she dumped him and started hanging out with us again, our relationship was never the same.

Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

K I C K H A M wrote:
While I agree with what most people are saying, I'll throw out there that some patience and understanding may be in order for the boy. He may just not fully understand.

At my age, someone wants to get in the way of what I want to do in life, you're old enough, grow up or get out.

But for a 16 year old, I'm going to venture out to say he's either probably a) a normal 16 year old who doesn't get it yet. or b) a genuinely jealous and controlling type who's going to go from "not knowing" at 16 to be a genuine dick in about 5 years.

He's 18. He's old enough to know better.

Megan Tomas wrote:
Thank you guys so much for responding..

Well, he's 18. I guess he's kinda young too? But age really doesn't have anything to do with this. I've asked him what he's jealous of... he doesn't care about the photo views, photographers or anything like that. He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Uh, no. It's either he's okay with me modeling, or I'm done with him.

I am EXTREMELY serious about modeling. It's what I plan to be my future.. It's what I want to do with my life.

Thanks for helping guys =]

Woah. No.

IMHO, the jealousy about modeling I can sometimes get, to an extent...

At the point he's supposed to be the only thing in your life? Yeah, I don't want it to be that way when I'm 40 and married, let alone when I'm 23 and focused on what I want to do in life.

And you, 16? Trying to juggle school, social life, possibly work, and modeling, and your boyfriend thinks he should be the only thing in your life?

I would doubt he's going to be any less controlling in the future.

Rachel Jay wrote:
Snip:


Right.  The next thing he gets jealous of?  Your friends.  And he'll stop you from hanging out with them.  I lost a VERY good friend that way, and when she dumped him and started hanging out with us again, our relationship was never the same.

Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

I just had the same situation with a close friend, except he recently, after shutting her off from her friends, attacked and almost killed her.

Vaudeville wrote:

He's 18. He's old enough to know better.

yeah, I just read the response...

Megan Tomas wrote:
But age really doesn't have anything to do with this.

You may change your mind about that statement in a few years.

Megan Tomas wrote:
I've asked him what he's jealous of... he doesn't care about the photo views, photographers or anything like that. He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Then I'd say that the modeling isn't specifically what he's got an issue with.  He just wants to control you and for you to be his possession.  Talk to him like the others above said, tell him he's got one chance to learn to deal with it or he can find somebody else who's willing to be his trophy and stick to your guns! If he doesn't change, you know what to do.

Megan Tomas wrote:
Thank you guys so much for responding..

Well, he's 18. I guess he's kinda young too? But age really doesn't have anything to do with this. I've asked him what he's jealous of... he doesn't care about the photo views, photographers or anything like that. He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Uh, no. It's either he's okay with me modeling, or I'm done with him.

I am EXTREMELY serious about modeling. It's what I plan to be my future.. It's what I want to do with my life.

Thanks for helping guys =]

A friend of mine gave me this quote once to tell a jealous signifigant other " Youre not my life, youre just a part of it"

Megan Tomas wrote:
I've been modeling for much longer than my boyfriend and I have been dating (1 year) and his jealousy still can't seem to simmer down.... Btw, I am VERY serious about modeling.

NO, I do NOT allow him to come to shoots with me, so photographers don't worry!!  It seems as if EVERY single time I get a great modeling opportunity, instead of congratulating me,  he gets so mad!

He doesn't support me, and it sucks!
I wanted to know if any of you models have dealt with this before!

Yes

Megan Tomas wrote:
Thank you guys so much for responding..

Well, he's 18. I guess he's kinda young too? But age really doesn't have anything to do with this. I've asked him what he's jealous of... he doesn't care about the photo views, photographers or anything like that. He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Uh, no. It's either he's okay with me modeling, or I'm done with him.

I am EXTREMELY serious about modeling. It's what I plan to be my future.. It's what I want to do with my life.

Thanks for helping guys =]

No one person can be "the only thing" in another persons life. He sounds naive and selfish.  There is a great thread on this subject, but I'm still searching for it.

My opinion is that he gets mad at the reality that he cannot control another persons life. Found it!  Read some of this 24 page thread!  https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … 525&page=1 You are not alone in dealing with jealousy!

Alisyn Carliene wrote:
Everyone is saying get rid of the boyfriend like it's soooo easy
Here's my advice:
Like Kelli said, TALK to him about what he's so jealous about and make him realize that he's supposed to support you in your endeavours and if he can't do that, then it's not going to work. He needs to trust you. Usually if their insecure, they have their own skeletons in the closet.

Were he simply jealous I'd agree with you. And I still think they should talk, but:

She mentioned that he wants to be the only thing in her life. That goes past simply jealousy and delves into dangerously controlling waters, IMO. That's not a good element to have in what should be a healthy, happy relationship.

Vaudeville wrote:

Were he simply jealous I'd agree with you. And I still think they should talk, but:

She mentioned that he wants to be the only thing in her life. That goes past simply jealousy and delves into dangerously controlling waters, IMO. That's not a good element to have in what should be a healthy, happy relationship.

yeah.. sounds like "Let's get married and you be my slave. you're not allowed to work. just make children and do what i want." It is selfish. and thanks for mentioning, I'll be honest I somehow skipped through that part.

Alisyn Carliene wrote:
Everyone is saying get rid of the boyfriend like it's soooo easy
Here's my advice:
Like Kelli said, TALK to him about what he's so jealous about and make him realize that he's supposed to support you in your endeavours and if he can't do that, then it's not going to work. He needs to trust you. Usually if their insecure, they have their own skeletons in the closet.

Good relationships take compromise, and acceptance to work!  I'm talking from BOTH partners! 

Great friendships (relationships) that last a lifetime take acceptance.  Those women in my life who encouraged me to photograph rock stars, beautiful women and fast cars are still my best friends decades later.  Those women who wanted to be my "one and only" didn't accept who I am and therefore are not around.  I'm still photographing the rock stars, beautiful women and fast cars ... and loving life! 

K I C K H A M wrote:
I would doubt he's going to be any less controlling in the future.

This.
Jealousy can only get worse.

K I C K H A M wrote:
I just had the same situation with a close friend, except he recently, after shutting her off from her friends, attacked and almost killed her.

I found out about 2 years after they broke up that he was abusing her and forcing her to do sexual things she didn't want to do.  She also struggled with breaking up with him, because every time it came up he threatened to kill himself.  Abusive and controlling... and it cost her a lot of friends (not all of us accepted her back into the group after they broke up).  NONE of us knew what was going on, because he'd forced her to totally alienate all of us.